MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, NEW YORK
VIDEO GAME DEATHMATCH
FRONT ROW SEAT
Announcer: Hello, I'm Fox Chicken -
2nd Announcer: - And I'm Turkey Mulder.
Fox Chicken: Have we got a show for you tonight!
Turkey Mulder: That's right, Fox. We take you live to the Gardens for three pants-filling, bloody and downright scary hardcore brawls subtly disguised as suitable entertainment.
Fox: Just don't tell MTV, right Turk?
Turk (stops smiling): Christ, no. They'd smash our pelvic regions into sticky bloody messes if they found out we were ripping them off.
Fox: Uhh - yeah. Anyway folks for the curtain puller we managed to get Metal Gear's Colonel Rory Campbell out of jail long enough to step into the DeathMatch arena against his old nemesis Colonel Irving Lambert from Splinter Cell. Tell us about the undercard, Turk.
Turk: Yep, sticky bloody messes. Sorry, what did you say Fox?
Fox: Erm, nothing. Anyway, our second match is one for you shoot 'em up types as Metroid's Samus Aran goes head to head against the face of Halo Master Chief.
Turk: And if you're a stealth fan you don't want to miss our mother of main events. After lots of persuasion made to various government agencies and sleeping with best selling authors our producer has managed to get Tom Clancy to send his main man Sam Fisher to try and out-stealth Hideo Kojima's legendary Solid Snake!
Fox: And as though that weren't enough certain contractual knots and spelling errors have empowered us to hire the beautiful Meryl Silverburgh as an interviewer!
(Cut to Meryl with a microphone outside Sam Fisher's locker room)
Meryl: Thank you Fox. I'm here outside Sam Fisher's room in hope to get his thoughts on tonight's massive main event. (Knocks on door. There is no answer, only a soft click)
Meryl: That's weird. Our security cameras saw him go in before.
Turk (off camera): Why don't you see if it's locked, Meryl?
Meryl: Err - okay - (she enters slowly. The room is pitch-black) What the hell? Mr Fisher, I was wondering if we could get your thoughts on - ow, I just stepped on something -
Fox: (off camera) Are you okay in there, Meryl? Look for a light switch or something.
Meryl: I can't see a goddamned thing here, Fox.
Fox: Try to feel for a wall.
Meryl: No shit. Mr Fisher, are you there?
Turk: Come on, Meryl. I bet you're good at feeling for things in the dark.
Meryl: Mr Fisher?
Turk: Wait, what was that humming noise?
Fox: I don't know - wait, Meryl, what are those three green dots behind you?
Meryl: What three green - (screams)
Turk: Oh my God, It's those MTV bastards again -
Fox: Can we get someone in to help her?
(Light is switched on. Four security guards run in. The room is empty except for a small device stuck to the wall.)
Turk: What's that?
Fox: It appears to be some sort of camera.
Turk: And there's a note behind it! Security, get that note!
(The security guards approach the camera. A small hissing sound can be heard as gas is released from the camera. All four security guards drop dead)
Turk: Jesus, I hope Meryl's going to be allnight.
Fox: Don't you mean "alright"?
Turk: No, she promised she'd sleep with me if I got her a part on the show.
(END OF PART ONE)
VIDEO GAME DEATHMATCH
FRONT ROW SEAT
Announcer: Hello, I'm Fox Chicken -
2nd Announcer: - And I'm Turkey Mulder.
Fox Chicken: Have we got a show for you tonight!
Turkey Mulder: That's right, Fox. We take you live to the Gardens for three pants-filling, bloody and downright scary hardcore brawls subtly disguised as suitable entertainment.
Fox: Just don't tell MTV, right Turk?
Turk (stops smiling): Christ, no. They'd smash our pelvic regions into sticky bloody messes if they found out we were ripping them off.
Fox: Uhh - yeah. Anyway folks for the curtain puller we managed to get Metal Gear's Colonel Rory Campbell out of jail long enough to step into the DeathMatch arena against his old nemesis Colonel Irving Lambert from Splinter Cell. Tell us about the undercard, Turk.
Turk: Yep, sticky bloody messes. Sorry, what did you say Fox?
Fox: Erm, nothing. Anyway, our second match is one for you shoot 'em up types as Metroid's Samus Aran goes head to head against the face of Halo Master Chief.
Turk: And if you're a stealth fan you don't want to miss our mother of main events. After lots of persuasion made to various government agencies and sleeping with best selling authors our producer has managed to get Tom Clancy to send his main man Sam Fisher to try and out-stealth Hideo Kojima's legendary Solid Snake!
Fox: And as though that weren't enough certain contractual knots and spelling errors have empowered us to hire the beautiful Meryl Silverburgh as an interviewer!
(Cut to Meryl with a microphone outside Sam Fisher's locker room)
Meryl: Thank you Fox. I'm here outside Sam Fisher's room in hope to get his thoughts on tonight's massive main event. (Knocks on door. There is no answer, only a soft click)
Meryl: That's weird. Our security cameras saw him go in before.
Turk (off camera): Why don't you see if it's locked, Meryl?
Meryl: Err - okay - (she enters slowly. The room is pitch-black) What the hell? Mr Fisher, I was wondering if we could get your thoughts on - ow, I just stepped on something -
Fox: (off camera) Are you okay in there, Meryl? Look for a light switch or something.
Meryl: I can't see a goddamned thing here, Fox.
Fox: Try to feel for a wall.
Meryl: No shit. Mr Fisher, are you there?
Turk: Come on, Meryl. I bet you're good at feeling for things in the dark.
Meryl: Mr Fisher?
Turk: Wait, what was that humming noise?
Fox: I don't know - wait, Meryl, what are those three green dots behind you?
Meryl: What three green - (screams)
Turk: Oh my God, It's those MTV bastards again -
Fox: Can we get someone in to help her?
(Light is switched on. Four security guards run in. The room is empty except for a small device stuck to the wall.)
Turk: What's that?
Fox: It appears to be some sort of camera.
Turk: And there's a note behind it! Security, get that note!
(The security guards approach the camera. A small hissing sound can be heard as gas is released from the camera. All four security guards drop dead)
Turk: Jesus, I hope Meryl's going to be allnight.
Fox: Don't you mean "alright"?
Turk: No, she promised she'd sleep with me if I got her a part on the show.
(END OF PART ONE)