Fox: If you've just joined us, you just missed the shortest fight in
history.
Turk: What a piece of shite.
Crowd: FIX! FIX! FIX! FIX! FIX!
Fox: We would have a riot on our hands now if it wasn't for tonight's huge main event: Solid Snake VS Samus Aran!
Turk: Hey, what happened to that Half Life guy?
Fox: He left in a fit of girly sissy rage. But he did leave behind this advert.
Turk: (reading) "Half Life 2: The Sequel To The 1999 Game Of The Year. If you thought that was bad, you'll love this." What the fu -
Fox: And that comes in with reports that Halo 2 has slipped to next year due to casting problems.
Meryl: What's going on? Where am I?
Turk: Where's that coming from? Can we trace it? Hang on, Meryl, babe!
Meryl: I can't see - it's all dark - ow! Stop poking me! Ow!
Sam Fisher: Are you listening, Snake? Hear her cry?
Meryl: I'm not crying you bastard - ow!
Fisher: Shut up you little -
Fox: Ahem, Fisher, what are your demands?
Turk: Yeah, we'll pay anything -
Fisher: Silence! I'm sick at your poor attempts at humour and crap commentary. I am talking to Solid Snake only. Snake! Are you there? Listening in, huh? Well, listen to this. I have built in the foundations of Madison Square Gardens a labyrinth. In this maze many dangers await you, but if you can find your way to the centre you shall discover your precious Meryl. Still not tempted, eh? Well, also at the centre you shall find a year's supply of fags and Asian pin-ups. See you there!
Turk: Did you hear that psycho, Fox? He's built some sort of maze in the arena's basement and hidden Meryl and Snake's indulgents in the middle! What an arsehole.
Fox: Can we get a camera team down there?
(A picture slowly comes into focus. Snake is walking slowly down the basement steps towards the maze. He retrieves his silenced pistol uncannily fast and holds it point down.)
Fox: And the legend gets out his gun ready for battle -
(Snake turns toward the camera and fires)
Turk: We better shut up.
Fox: Yep.
(Snake has reached the maze. After turning the first corner he puts on his infra-red goggles and crawls slowly along the ground picking up claymore mines.)
Fisher: Infrared. Hah! I've got night vision goggles! What do you think of that you big pussy?
( As he gets to the end of the passage, he sets one of the mines up on the wall, steps away and detonates it. He walks through the hole made by the claymore and continues slowly. Eventually, he comes to a passage better lit than the others. Two cameras are on either side of the wall. He shoots one, disabling it, but the other deflects his bullet.)
Fisher: Bet you never had to deal with armoured cameras in Shadow Moses did you, Fuzzface?
(Snake pulls out his sniper rifle and uses it to take out the light. He then walks past blindly, using his hand to feel around the walls.)
Fisher: What ya goin' to do now, Dave? What kind of name is Dave for a secret agent anyhow?
Snake: You're right "Sam". Catch any fish today on your yacht?
Fisher: Shut the hell up! You'll pay for that one Snake. Oh yeah. You'll pay dearly. And so will Meryl!
Girl's voice: Help! Snake!
Snake: What's the matter, Fish? Too pussy to face me one on one?
(Just then, we can see three green dots appear behind Snake's back. A loud smack is heard, and Snake falls to the floor.)
Fisher: What's up, Dave? No catchy one-liners? How's this for a punch line?
(Another hard smack is heard.)
Turk: (whispers) Punch line? What the fu -
Fisher: How are you going to get out of this one, old man? I can see everything with my night vision but I'm invisible to you!
(Snake suddenly ignites a stun grenade. The whole maze is lit up. Fisher is temporarily blinded)
Fisher: My eyes! I'm not supposed to get concentrated light into them!
(Snake proceeds to beat the shit out of Fisher before snapping his neck)
Fisher: I - urg - splutter - get - u - snake - rrrrggg
Snake: Run home to your daughter.
Girl's voicel: Hurry up and save me!
Fox: Oh no! Is Snake too late to save Meryl?
Turk: Maybe, but I'm not! I'm gonna save her and get a piece of that ass!
Fox: No, Turk! Leave this to the professionals!
(END OF PART FOUR)
Turk: What a piece of shite.
Crowd: FIX! FIX! FIX! FIX! FIX!
Fox: We would have a riot on our hands now if it wasn't for tonight's huge main event: Solid Snake VS Samus Aran!
Turk: Hey, what happened to that Half Life guy?
Fox: He left in a fit of girly sissy rage. But he did leave behind this advert.
Turk: (reading) "Half Life 2: The Sequel To The 1999 Game Of The Year. If you thought that was bad, you'll love this." What the fu -
Fox: And that comes in with reports that Halo 2 has slipped to next year due to casting problems.
Meryl: What's going on? Where am I?
Turk: Where's that coming from? Can we trace it? Hang on, Meryl, babe!
Meryl: I can't see - it's all dark - ow! Stop poking me! Ow!
Sam Fisher: Are you listening, Snake? Hear her cry?
Meryl: I'm not crying you bastard - ow!
Fisher: Shut up you little -
Fox: Ahem, Fisher, what are your demands?
Turk: Yeah, we'll pay anything -
Fisher: Silence! I'm sick at your poor attempts at humour and crap commentary. I am talking to Solid Snake only. Snake! Are you there? Listening in, huh? Well, listen to this. I have built in the foundations of Madison Square Gardens a labyrinth. In this maze many dangers await you, but if you can find your way to the centre you shall discover your precious Meryl. Still not tempted, eh? Well, also at the centre you shall find a year's supply of fags and Asian pin-ups. See you there!
Turk: Did you hear that psycho, Fox? He's built some sort of maze in the arena's basement and hidden Meryl and Snake's indulgents in the middle! What an arsehole.
Fox: Can we get a camera team down there?
(A picture slowly comes into focus. Snake is walking slowly down the basement steps towards the maze. He retrieves his silenced pistol uncannily fast and holds it point down.)
Fox: And the legend gets out his gun ready for battle -
(Snake turns toward the camera and fires)
Turk: We better shut up.
Fox: Yep.
(Snake has reached the maze. After turning the first corner he puts on his infra-red goggles and crawls slowly along the ground picking up claymore mines.)
Fisher: Infrared. Hah! I've got night vision goggles! What do you think of that you big pussy?
( As he gets to the end of the passage, he sets one of the mines up on the wall, steps away and detonates it. He walks through the hole made by the claymore and continues slowly. Eventually, he comes to a passage better lit than the others. Two cameras are on either side of the wall. He shoots one, disabling it, but the other deflects his bullet.)
Fisher: Bet you never had to deal with armoured cameras in Shadow Moses did you, Fuzzface?
(Snake pulls out his sniper rifle and uses it to take out the light. He then walks past blindly, using his hand to feel around the walls.)
Fisher: What ya goin' to do now, Dave? What kind of name is Dave for a secret agent anyhow?
Snake: You're right "Sam". Catch any fish today on your yacht?
Fisher: Shut the hell up! You'll pay for that one Snake. Oh yeah. You'll pay dearly. And so will Meryl!
Girl's voice: Help! Snake!
Snake: What's the matter, Fish? Too pussy to face me one on one?
(Just then, we can see three green dots appear behind Snake's back. A loud smack is heard, and Snake falls to the floor.)
Fisher: What's up, Dave? No catchy one-liners? How's this for a punch line?
(Another hard smack is heard.)
Turk: (whispers) Punch line? What the fu -
Fisher: How are you going to get out of this one, old man? I can see everything with my night vision but I'm invisible to you!
(Snake suddenly ignites a stun grenade. The whole maze is lit up. Fisher is temporarily blinded)
Fisher: My eyes! I'm not supposed to get concentrated light into them!
(Snake proceeds to beat the shit out of Fisher before snapping his neck)
Fisher: I - urg - splutter - get - u - snake - rrrrggg
Snake: Run home to your daughter.
Girl's voicel: Hurry up and save me!
Fox: Oh no! Is Snake too late to save Meryl?
Turk: Maybe, but I'm not! I'm gonna save her and get a piece of that ass!
Fox: No, Turk! Leave this to the professionals!
(END OF PART FOUR)