I remembered my training. I had been in my very first Gedd body, and was having trouble with the low, constant moan the Gedd mind usually emits. "I r-r-r can't take this any more r-r-r-r," I complained to my instructor. He was in the body of a young, strong Gedd. It was still weak and deformed compared to most beings in the universe, but it seemed quite impressive at the time.
He leaned in close to me, and spoke without a stutter, demonstrating perfect control over the host body. "These arms, legs, and eyes are yours, Elash 562, not his," he growled. "The mind is yours, not his. He is like a memory of an unpleasantness. If you dwell on him, he will grow stronger. Shut him out, do not think about him. He is a memory alone, and not one worth remembering."
That was all Jordan was. A memory. But it was definitely not as easy to shut her out as the Gedd had been. In the words of Jordan's mind, it was like going from riding an old, fat pony to a wild bronco. Jordan fought, kicked, screamed, and insulted me with some of the juicier expressions I've ever encountered. I ignored her as much as possible.
{Look, okay, you're a jerk. A major jerk. This is my body, get out of my head! I don't like this, go away!} She had stopped screaming and threatening yesterday, and was now merely complaining. Constantly. {Come ON. How would you like it if I took over your body? Oh, wait, I forgot. You don't have much of a body. I could squish you. Why don't you go suck on some salt? Seriously, this is so unfair. You didn't even let me see the new Strong Bad email! The girls at school are so going to notice that. Would you *please* get out of my head?}
I ground Jordan's teeth as I tried to concentrate on the math homework. This was mere algebra, complete child's play. Why was I allowing this host mind, this memory to distract me so much? Any other Yeerk would have had her subdued long ago.
{One good thing is I don't have to do math. But I still have to *sit* here and *wait* for you to finish! This is so boring. Have I mentioned you're a jerk? Because you really are, you know.}
I flew halfway across known space for this?
Finally, I slammed the book shut and headed downstairs. My new body was craving a caffeinated beverage called Dr. Pepper. As with most human products, the name had little or nothing to do with the material itself. Humans. Yeerks would have called it something sensible, like "Darkly Colored, Highly Sugary and Caffeinated Beverage."
When I put it like that, Dr. Pepper had a little something going for it. I poured myself out a large glass.
{Well, FINALLY!} Jordan yelled. {I've only been thirsty for, what, the past half hour? But, listen, pal. If you spill on this new shirt, I am so going to make your life total heck.}
Like it wasn't already. I leaned against the kitchen counter, sipping the drink. Forget the host, Elash. It doesn't matter. It's just a memory.
{I'm still bo-o-o-ored!}
Just a memory.
{Hey, when you were going through my brain, did you find "the song that never ends"? It's one of my all time favorites. Let me sing it for you!}
Memory.
{This is the song that never ends!} Jordan bawled at the top of her mental voice. {It just goes on and on, my friends! Some people ... STARted singing it, not knowing what it was! And now they'll go on singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends! It just goes...}
The front door banged open, and then slammed shut, rattling the house.
Jordan paused in her song. {That would be Rachel. As you probably *know* from staring at *all* my memories of her. Over and over and over. Jerk.}
The tall, blond girl that pervaded Jordan's memories and perspective on life stormed into the kitchen, pulled the fridge door open, and yanked out the HotPockets box with predatory hunger.
I dug into Jordan's mind for the right words. "Well, hi to you, too," I said sarcastically.
"Hey," she said, throwing a Pocket into the microwave and hitting start.
Jordan's life was a complicated one, for such a young person, involving many social spheres and varying levels of high school intruige. But in her whole world, the person who most interested me was this Rachel. Jordan was right, I had replayed many memories involving Rachel. She held a certain fascination for me.
It had all started when her best friend, Cassie, had died. As Jordan's mind put it, about a year and a half ago, "Rachel started getting seriously tense. And weird. And mean. Totally anti-social. Maybe she joined a gang or something, because she's, like, never home, and when she is she's all surly. I think the cheese has basically just slid off her cracker. The girl's nutso."
But beneath this superficial dismissal of her older sister, I saw Jordan's love for her. Her concern that something bad was happening in her life. Her desire to imitate Rachel, warring with her fear that she would become Rachel. I saw how she looked up to her and shoved her away at the same time. I saw how, above all, Jordan really wanted to be best friends with Rachel, but was afraid of her.
And for some reason, I was captivated by this girl.
"Long day at school?" I asked.
Rachel looked at her sister with dead eyes. "Sure," she said. "When is it not a long day at school?"
I smiled, and took a sip of my Dr. Pepper.
"Where's the mustard?" she demanded impatiently.
"I can't believe you put mustard on those things. That is so gross."
"Jordan. Where. Is. The mustard."
"Um, let's think," I said, pushing my lips out in imitation of stupidity. "Duuuhh, da fwidge?"
"Well, hand it to me!"
"Jordan is Mem'saahib's humble slave. Jordan will get Mem'saahib the mustard." I passed her the condiment.
"Is mom gonna be home tonight?"
"No. She's in court. Again."
Rachel spoke gruffly in between bites. "Kay. I'm gonna be out. Working on a project. With Jake."
"Fine," I said. "You don't need my permission."
"I know."
She stood, knocking over the chair. She glanced at it, then pounded up the stairs to her room without righting it.
{She's got issues,} Jordan said. {Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Some people ... STARted singing it, not knowing what it was! And now they'll go on singing it forever, just becase...}
I looked up the stairs after Rachel. She was just one more angry, troubled human youth. No concern to the Yeerk Empire except as a potential host.
So why did my soul ache when she passed by?
He leaned in close to me, and spoke without a stutter, demonstrating perfect control over the host body. "These arms, legs, and eyes are yours, Elash 562, not his," he growled. "The mind is yours, not his. He is like a memory of an unpleasantness. If you dwell on him, he will grow stronger. Shut him out, do not think about him. He is a memory alone, and not one worth remembering."
That was all Jordan was. A memory. But it was definitely not as easy to shut her out as the Gedd had been. In the words of Jordan's mind, it was like going from riding an old, fat pony to a wild bronco. Jordan fought, kicked, screamed, and insulted me with some of the juicier expressions I've ever encountered. I ignored her as much as possible.
{Look, okay, you're a jerk. A major jerk. This is my body, get out of my head! I don't like this, go away!} She had stopped screaming and threatening yesterday, and was now merely complaining. Constantly. {Come ON. How would you like it if I took over your body? Oh, wait, I forgot. You don't have much of a body. I could squish you. Why don't you go suck on some salt? Seriously, this is so unfair. You didn't even let me see the new Strong Bad email! The girls at school are so going to notice that. Would you *please* get out of my head?}
I ground Jordan's teeth as I tried to concentrate on the math homework. This was mere algebra, complete child's play. Why was I allowing this host mind, this memory to distract me so much? Any other Yeerk would have had her subdued long ago.
{One good thing is I don't have to do math. But I still have to *sit* here and *wait* for you to finish! This is so boring. Have I mentioned you're a jerk? Because you really are, you know.}
I flew halfway across known space for this?
Finally, I slammed the book shut and headed downstairs. My new body was craving a caffeinated beverage called Dr. Pepper. As with most human products, the name had little or nothing to do with the material itself. Humans. Yeerks would have called it something sensible, like "Darkly Colored, Highly Sugary and Caffeinated Beverage."
When I put it like that, Dr. Pepper had a little something going for it. I poured myself out a large glass.
{Well, FINALLY!} Jordan yelled. {I've only been thirsty for, what, the past half hour? But, listen, pal. If you spill on this new shirt, I am so going to make your life total heck.}
Like it wasn't already. I leaned against the kitchen counter, sipping the drink. Forget the host, Elash. It doesn't matter. It's just a memory.
{I'm still bo-o-o-ored!}
Just a memory.
{Hey, when you were going through my brain, did you find "the song that never ends"? It's one of my all time favorites. Let me sing it for you!}
Memory.
{This is the song that never ends!} Jordan bawled at the top of her mental voice. {It just goes on and on, my friends! Some people ... STARted singing it, not knowing what it was! And now they'll go on singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends! It just goes...}
The front door banged open, and then slammed shut, rattling the house.
Jordan paused in her song. {That would be Rachel. As you probably *know* from staring at *all* my memories of her. Over and over and over. Jerk.}
The tall, blond girl that pervaded Jordan's memories and perspective on life stormed into the kitchen, pulled the fridge door open, and yanked out the HotPockets box with predatory hunger.
I dug into Jordan's mind for the right words. "Well, hi to you, too," I said sarcastically.
"Hey," she said, throwing a Pocket into the microwave and hitting start.
Jordan's life was a complicated one, for such a young person, involving many social spheres and varying levels of high school intruige. But in her whole world, the person who most interested me was this Rachel. Jordan was right, I had replayed many memories involving Rachel. She held a certain fascination for me.
It had all started when her best friend, Cassie, had died. As Jordan's mind put it, about a year and a half ago, "Rachel started getting seriously tense. And weird. And mean. Totally anti-social. Maybe she joined a gang or something, because she's, like, never home, and when she is she's all surly. I think the cheese has basically just slid off her cracker. The girl's nutso."
But beneath this superficial dismissal of her older sister, I saw Jordan's love for her. Her concern that something bad was happening in her life. Her desire to imitate Rachel, warring with her fear that she would become Rachel. I saw how she looked up to her and shoved her away at the same time. I saw how, above all, Jordan really wanted to be best friends with Rachel, but was afraid of her.
And for some reason, I was captivated by this girl.
"Long day at school?" I asked.
Rachel looked at her sister with dead eyes. "Sure," she said. "When is it not a long day at school?"
I smiled, and took a sip of my Dr. Pepper.
"Where's the mustard?" she demanded impatiently.
"I can't believe you put mustard on those things. That is so gross."
"Jordan. Where. Is. The mustard."
"Um, let's think," I said, pushing my lips out in imitation of stupidity. "Duuuhh, da fwidge?"
"Well, hand it to me!"
"Jordan is Mem'saahib's humble slave. Jordan will get Mem'saahib the mustard." I passed her the condiment.
"Is mom gonna be home tonight?"
"No. She's in court. Again."
Rachel spoke gruffly in between bites. "Kay. I'm gonna be out. Working on a project. With Jake."
"Fine," I said. "You don't need my permission."
"I know."
She stood, knocking over the chair. She glanced at it, then pounded up the stairs to her room without righting it.
{She's got issues,} Jordan said. {Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Some people ... STARted singing it, not knowing what it was! And now they'll go on singing it forever, just becase...}
I looked up the stairs after Rachel. She was just one more angry, troubled human youth. No concern to the Yeerk Empire except as a potential host.
So why did my soul ache when she passed by?