Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or anything. That's Tolkien's
job.
One random day in Middle Earth, the Fellowship is walking around in Lothlorien.
"Hey! I think I just saw a robin! Lemme check" said Merry. He proceeded to get out a bird book and flip through it. "Yup, it's a red-breasted robin."
"That wasn't a robin, it was a cardinal" said Pippin.
"Robin!"
"Cardinal!"
"Robin!"
"Cardinal!"
"Settle down, boys. The fat and ugly hobbit is obviously right" interrupted Gimli.
At first, the two hobbits walked in silent thought (hobbits think very slowly). Minutes to hours...hours to days....days to years...years to decades....
"HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Merry and Pippin finally.
"You know Merry, I think you were right. That bird IS a red-breasted robin" said Pippin.
"No, you were right, it was a cardinal" replied Merry.
"Robin!"
"Cardinal!"
"Robin!"
"Cardinal!"
"Oh shut up, the both of you. I thought we were going to go to the museum" said Legolas.
"Then we need to rent a car" suggested Aragorn.
"I know where there's a rental place" added Gandalf.
Gandalf headed off towards the car rental place, abd everybody followed him.
"Hey look, there's an eagle!" exclaimed Boromir suddenly.
"No, that's a hawk" said Merry.
"No Merry, Boromir's right, it is an eagle" said Pippin.
"Hawk!"
"Eagle!"
"Hawk!"
"Eagle!"
Legolas pops a pair of earplugs into his ears. "Aaaaaaaah... good bye world of pain" he muttered peacefully.
Gandalf turns off of the path they had been walking on, and everyone else follows him. They come out into a parking lot.
"Here we are everybody. Now let's pick out a car" announced Gandalf.
"What????????" asked Legolas, who was still wearing earplugs.
Gimli, who couldn't resist the opportunity, reaches over and rips out Legolas' earplugs.
"HEY!!!"
"He said that we get to pick out the car now. Dumb elves......" trailed off Gimli.
"Ooooooooooo! I wanna find a pretty car! I wanna find a pretty car!!!!!!" exclaimed Legolas.
Legolas runs off into the vast parking lot, but he can still be heard yelling about finding a pretty car.
"Well everybody, let's split up and pick out a good car that'll seat 9 people. Somehow I don't think we'll want to stick with Legolas' choice" suggested Gandalf wisely.
They split off in groups:
Group 1: Boromir, Gandalf.
Group 2: Merry, Pippin, and Gimli.
Group 3: Sam, Frodo, and Aragorn
"Remember everyone, we need to find a car, and we need to find Legolas! We'll meet back right here by this lamppost in one hour" said Gandalf.
The groups all split up in different directions.
Group 2:
"Ooooooh, how about this car?" suggested Pippin, pointing to a silver convertible.
"No, we have to be able to fit the whole Fellowship into the car, and that only seats 2" said Gimli.
"Fine. But whatever car we get, I want it to be shiny!" said Pippin.
"I'm tired, let's get something to eat and drink" complained Merry.
"Fine, I brought some lembas bread that we can eat" said Gimli.
The three of them sat down in the shade provided by a huge RV, and munched on their lembas bread.
Once they finished their meal, everyone got up and started walking again. They were soon hot and sweaty.........
"I'm thirsty, let's get something to drink. Gimli, do you have anything to drink?" drawled Merry.
"Yes, I carry my hip flask with me everywhere. But dwarves always drink beverages rich in Vitamin Z, it helps them grow long beards. You probably don't want to drink any......................" trailed off Gimli, as the hobbit grabbed the hip flask and gulped down huge sips.
"Fool of a Took!" muttered Gimli. Stubble was already growing on the oblivious hobbit's chin..........
Group 1:
"I think our main concern is finding......"
"The One Ring, taking it from the dumb, short hobbit-guy, and using to rule Gondor forever more! MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA- HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" interrupted Boromir gleefully.
As soon as Boromir had stopped hyperventilating, they kept walking through the huge parking lot.
"Actually, I was going to say Legolas"
"Oh....................."
"Lets just keep searching, shall we?" said Gandalf comfortingly.
"Okay....................."
Group 3:
Aragorn, Sam, and Frodo wander aimlessly through the parking lot. They approach the main office.
"Hey, do you think they have any Coke in there?" asked Frodo hopefully
"Maybe.....I'll go get you one" said Aragorn. Aragorn walked into the main office, and through the windows you could see him getting a Coke from the soda machine.
"Coke, Coke, Coke, Coke!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want Coke!" wailed Frodo
"Not to worry, Mr. Frodo, Aragorn will be right out" said Sam.
"COKE! COKE! COKE! I WANT COKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Frodo collapsed to the ground, and passed out. Banging sounds could be heard. Sam looked into the window, and sure enough, Aragorn was pounding mercilessly on the soda machine.
Sam happily proceeded to perform CPR on Frodo, and Frodo got a good many more rescue breaths than he needed. Aragorn came out of the office, and the door slammed behind him. He walked out to see Sam and Frodo making out on the ground.
"Uhhh, sorry to interrupt, but I couldn't get Frodo's Coke, the machine wasn't working. Well, the worker guy said that you had to put in something called a dollar........" said Aragorn uncertainly.
Sam popped up for a breath, "Just giving Mr. Frodo CPR, he's about conscious again"
"I see..........." said Aragorn.
They soon heard a loud blowing sound. "The Horn of Gondor! Boromir needs our aid!" cried Aragorn, and the three of them set off running. They rounded a corner, and there was a huge van, painted neon green, with neon pink flowers painted on. Boromir and the others could be seen banging on the windows, crying for help. Legolas jumped lightly out of the van.
"I found a pretty car! The rest of them don't like it, but I think it's pretty. Come on everybody, get in!"
Legolas pushed Sam, Frodo and Aragorn into the van and off he drove.....
"So where's the museum?" asked Legolas after driving around a random city for hours
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING??????!!!!!" screamed Aragorn in frustration.
"Nope! But driving sure is fun!"
"I'll give directions, I know the way" said Boromir
"So where do we go?"
"To Gondor with the Ring of Power and then I will be the eternal ruler of the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I thought he only had one episode like that a day" said Frodo
"Apparently not" said Gandalf with a big sigh. *sigh*
"Does anyone have any scissors? Pippin and I need some help.." said Merry
"How the heck did that happen?" asked Aragorn.
"They drank my drink that was rich in Vitamin Z, and now they look just like...hobbits with really long beards" said Gimli.
"Well that's what they are, DUH"
"oh...." said Gimli dumbly
Meanwhile, Merry and Pippin's beards were growing and growing and growing.....they already touched the floor.
Gandalf muttered something under his breath, shook his staff and suddenly there was a blinding light!
*everyone blinks* *everyone opens eyes*
Lo and behold, Merry and Pippin's beards were..........purple.
"What did you do, Gandalf?" cried Pippin
"It's this stupid van, its screwing up my magic" mumbled Gandalf
"Oh, there's nothing wrong with the van, it must be YOU!" said Legolas with a dazzling smile.
"Righhhhttttt"
Suddenly everyone noticed that Boromir was whispering in Legolas' ear, and Legolas was nodding with more dazzling smiles.
"What are you saying, Boromir?"
"What's he saying Legolas?"
"Ohhh, nothing" said Legolas (happily) and Boromir (evilly)
Legolas turned sharply at a corner, into a parking lot. "Here we are, everyone!" he said
Boromir looked disappointed, everyone else looked worried.
"Where are we?" asked Sam
"This isn't the Museum! @#$%&*, I wanted a Coke and they have Cokes at the Museum!" screamed Frodo
"This is the yoga temple. I thought you all needed to relax so we're going to do yoga" said Legolas
to be continued.................................
don't ya wonder what's gonna happen next? I don't but I'm the authoress so HA! Anyways I hope ya like it, please please please review, I beg you!
One random day in Middle Earth, the Fellowship is walking around in Lothlorien.
"Hey! I think I just saw a robin! Lemme check" said Merry. He proceeded to get out a bird book and flip through it. "Yup, it's a red-breasted robin."
"That wasn't a robin, it was a cardinal" said Pippin.
"Robin!"
"Cardinal!"
"Robin!"
"Cardinal!"
"Settle down, boys. The fat and ugly hobbit is obviously right" interrupted Gimli.
At first, the two hobbits walked in silent thought (hobbits think very slowly). Minutes to hours...hours to days....days to years...years to decades....
"HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Merry and Pippin finally.
"You know Merry, I think you were right. That bird IS a red-breasted robin" said Pippin.
"No, you were right, it was a cardinal" replied Merry.
"Robin!"
"Cardinal!"
"Robin!"
"Cardinal!"
"Oh shut up, the both of you. I thought we were going to go to the museum" said Legolas.
"Then we need to rent a car" suggested Aragorn.
"I know where there's a rental place" added Gandalf.
Gandalf headed off towards the car rental place, abd everybody followed him.
"Hey look, there's an eagle!" exclaimed Boromir suddenly.
"No, that's a hawk" said Merry.
"No Merry, Boromir's right, it is an eagle" said Pippin.
"Hawk!"
"Eagle!"
"Hawk!"
"Eagle!"
Legolas pops a pair of earplugs into his ears. "Aaaaaaaah... good bye world of pain" he muttered peacefully.
Gandalf turns off of the path they had been walking on, and everyone else follows him. They come out into a parking lot.
"Here we are everybody. Now let's pick out a car" announced Gandalf.
"What????????" asked Legolas, who was still wearing earplugs.
Gimli, who couldn't resist the opportunity, reaches over and rips out Legolas' earplugs.
"HEY!!!"
"He said that we get to pick out the car now. Dumb elves......" trailed off Gimli.
"Ooooooooooo! I wanna find a pretty car! I wanna find a pretty car!!!!!!" exclaimed Legolas.
Legolas runs off into the vast parking lot, but he can still be heard yelling about finding a pretty car.
"Well everybody, let's split up and pick out a good car that'll seat 9 people. Somehow I don't think we'll want to stick with Legolas' choice" suggested Gandalf wisely.
They split off in groups:
Group 1: Boromir, Gandalf.
Group 2: Merry, Pippin, and Gimli.
Group 3: Sam, Frodo, and Aragorn
"Remember everyone, we need to find a car, and we need to find Legolas! We'll meet back right here by this lamppost in one hour" said Gandalf.
The groups all split up in different directions.
Group 2:
"Ooooooh, how about this car?" suggested Pippin, pointing to a silver convertible.
"No, we have to be able to fit the whole Fellowship into the car, and that only seats 2" said Gimli.
"Fine. But whatever car we get, I want it to be shiny!" said Pippin.
"I'm tired, let's get something to eat and drink" complained Merry.
"Fine, I brought some lembas bread that we can eat" said Gimli.
The three of them sat down in the shade provided by a huge RV, and munched on their lembas bread.
Once they finished their meal, everyone got up and started walking again. They were soon hot and sweaty.........
"I'm thirsty, let's get something to drink. Gimli, do you have anything to drink?" drawled Merry.
"Yes, I carry my hip flask with me everywhere. But dwarves always drink beverages rich in Vitamin Z, it helps them grow long beards. You probably don't want to drink any......................" trailed off Gimli, as the hobbit grabbed the hip flask and gulped down huge sips.
"Fool of a Took!" muttered Gimli. Stubble was already growing on the oblivious hobbit's chin..........
Group 1:
"I think our main concern is finding......"
"The One Ring, taking it from the dumb, short hobbit-guy, and using to rule Gondor forever more! MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA- HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" interrupted Boromir gleefully.
As soon as Boromir had stopped hyperventilating, they kept walking through the huge parking lot.
"Actually, I was going to say Legolas"
"Oh....................."
"Lets just keep searching, shall we?" said Gandalf comfortingly.
"Okay....................."
Group 3:
Aragorn, Sam, and Frodo wander aimlessly through the parking lot. They approach the main office.
"Hey, do you think they have any Coke in there?" asked Frodo hopefully
"Maybe.....I'll go get you one" said Aragorn. Aragorn walked into the main office, and through the windows you could see him getting a Coke from the soda machine.
"Coke, Coke, Coke, Coke!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want Coke!" wailed Frodo
"Not to worry, Mr. Frodo, Aragorn will be right out" said Sam.
"COKE! COKE! COKE! I WANT COKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Frodo collapsed to the ground, and passed out. Banging sounds could be heard. Sam looked into the window, and sure enough, Aragorn was pounding mercilessly on the soda machine.
Sam happily proceeded to perform CPR on Frodo, and Frodo got a good many more rescue breaths than he needed. Aragorn came out of the office, and the door slammed behind him. He walked out to see Sam and Frodo making out on the ground.
"Uhhh, sorry to interrupt, but I couldn't get Frodo's Coke, the machine wasn't working. Well, the worker guy said that you had to put in something called a dollar........" said Aragorn uncertainly.
Sam popped up for a breath, "Just giving Mr. Frodo CPR, he's about conscious again"
"I see..........." said Aragorn.
They soon heard a loud blowing sound. "The Horn of Gondor! Boromir needs our aid!" cried Aragorn, and the three of them set off running. They rounded a corner, and there was a huge van, painted neon green, with neon pink flowers painted on. Boromir and the others could be seen banging on the windows, crying for help. Legolas jumped lightly out of the van.
"I found a pretty car! The rest of them don't like it, but I think it's pretty. Come on everybody, get in!"
Legolas pushed Sam, Frodo and Aragorn into the van and off he drove.....
"So where's the museum?" asked Legolas after driving around a random city for hours
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING??????!!!!!" screamed Aragorn in frustration.
"Nope! But driving sure is fun!"
"I'll give directions, I know the way" said Boromir
"So where do we go?"
"To Gondor with the Ring of Power and then I will be the eternal ruler of the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I thought he only had one episode like that a day" said Frodo
"Apparently not" said Gandalf with a big sigh. *sigh*
"Does anyone have any scissors? Pippin and I need some help.." said Merry
"How the heck did that happen?" asked Aragorn.
"They drank my drink that was rich in Vitamin Z, and now they look just like...hobbits with really long beards" said Gimli.
"Well that's what they are, DUH"
"oh...." said Gimli dumbly
Meanwhile, Merry and Pippin's beards were growing and growing and growing.....they already touched the floor.
Gandalf muttered something under his breath, shook his staff and suddenly there was a blinding light!
*everyone blinks* *everyone opens eyes*
Lo and behold, Merry and Pippin's beards were..........purple.
"What did you do, Gandalf?" cried Pippin
"It's this stupid van, its screwing up my magic" mumbled Gandalf
"Oh, there's nothing wrong with the van, it must be YOU!" said Legolas with a dazzling smile.
"Righhhhttttt"
Suddenly everyone noticed that Boromir was whispering in Legolas' ear, and Legolas was nodding with more dazzling smiles.
"What are you saying, Boromir?"
"What's he saying Legolas?"
"Ohhh, nothing" said Legolas (happily) and Boromir (evilly)
Legolas turned sharply at a corner, into a parking lot. "Here we are, everyone!" he said
Boromir looked disappointed, everyone else looked worried.
"Where are we?" asked Sam
"This isn't the Museum! @#$%&*, I wanted a Coke and they have Cokes at the Museum!" screamed Frodo
"This is the yoga temple. I thought you all needed to relax so we're going to do yoga" said Legolas
to be continued.................................
don't ya wonder what's gonna happen next? I don't but I'm the authoress so HA! Anyways I hope ya like it, please please please review, I beg you!