Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Monty Python. Have a nice day.
Hi again! Here's chapter two. Be afraid. Now our favorite schizophrenic platinum blonde Egyptian joins the party! Read on and review!
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[Yami and DM are riding out on an open, hilly, green field with a castle in the distance. On the hill below them are peasants "working" in the field, i.e. randomly digging in the ground with sticks, piling up clods of dirt, etc. Yami walks, er, rides up to one of them.]
Yami: You! Old woman!
Peasant: I'm a man, fool!
Yami: Oh, er, sorry. Old man, what lord resides in yonder castle?
Peasant: I'm thirty-seven!
Yami: Er, what?
Peasant: I'm thirty-seven, I'm not old! turns around to reveal he is…..*drumroll* …..MARIK! A not-very-happy Marik ^-^
Yami: Oh. Um, sorry….sweatdrop
DM: …
Yami: Well, I couldn't just say "hey man!"
Marik: You could call me, er, glances at script and looks very disgusted you could call me Dennis.
Yami: I didn't know you were called Dennis!
Marik: Well you didn't bother to ask, did you!
Yami: Look, I'm sorry about the "old woman" thing, but from behind you really do
look--
Marik: There you go, making assumptions! And automatically treating me as an inferior!
Yami: Well, I AM Pharaoh of England. makes a high and mighty stance as a single ray of sunlight shines on him
Marik: Pharaoh of England, eh, that's lovely! And how did you get that title, eh? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma, which perpetuates the social and economic differences in our society! If there's to be any progress--
[Just then a peasant woman, Isis (Ishizu), crawls up to Marik. Now, just to let you know, we had to get her slightly intoxicated to do this… A/N: DK does not condone binge drinking!]
Isis (Ishizu)/Peasant Woman: Marik, there's some lovely filth down 'ere! *hic* notices Yami Oh! *hic* How d'you do!
Yami: How do you do, er, good lady. I am Yami, Pharaoh of the Britons. Whose castle is that? points to castle in the distance
Isis: *hic* Lord of the 'oo?
Yami: Uh, the Britons…
Isis: 'Oo are the Britons? *hic*
Yami: We are all Britons! I am your Pharaoh! Getting slightly annoyed
Isis: I didn't know we 'ad a Pharaoh. I thought we were an autonomous collective. *hic*
Marik: You fool! We're living in a dictatorship!! A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
Isis: Oh, there you go, bringing "class" into it again *hic*
Marik: exasperated, getting psycho-eyes…wait, aren't his eyes always really wide and purply-lavender and scary-looking?? Anway. But that's what it's all about! If only people would listen-
Yami: sweatdrop Ah, good people, I am in haste. Who lives in the castle over there?
Isis: *hic* No one lives there.
Yami: Then who is your lord?
Isis: We don't have a lord.
Yami: What?
Marik: Hands on hips I told you, we're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week, but all the decisions of that officer must be ratified at a special biweekly meeting--
Yami: p.o.ed will you be quiet…
Marik: ignoring --By simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs--
Yami: eyes dangerously narrowed Will you be quiet!
Marik: --but by two-thirds majority in the case of more--
Yami: popping veins QUIET!! I ORDER YOU TO BE QUIET!!
Isis: *hic* Order, eh? Who does 'e think 'e is?
Yami: very exasperated I am your Pharaoh!
Isis: Well, I didn't vote for you.
Yami: YOU DON'T VOTE FOR PHARAOHS!!
Isis: *hic* Well how did you become Pharaoh then?
Yami: Wistful look on his face as he strikes a pose and looks off into the distance, background music like angels singing starts, a ray of sunlight shines on him again The Lady of the Random Lake in Duelist Kingdom, her arm clad in purest shimmering samite, held aloft the Millennium Sword from the bosom of the water, therefore signifying by Divine Providence that I, Yami, was to take the Sword and be Sovereign of all England! Everything abruptly stops, Yami glares at the ignorant peasants That is why I'm your Pharaoh!
Marik: nonplussed Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate of the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Yami: Shut up…
Marik: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.
Yami: Shut up, you insolent fool!
Marik: I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! his Yami takes over
Yami: grabs Yami Marik's shirt WILL YOU SHUT UP, DAMMIT!!
Y Marik: absolutely raving now Ah! Now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Yami: shaking him SHUT UP!!!
[Other peasants are staring now]
Y Marik: See?! The violence inherent in the system! HELP, HELP, I'M BEING REPRESSED!!!!!
Yami: Stupid peasant! Throws him on ground
Y Marik: Oh, what a giveaway! Did you see that, did you see that, eh? That's what I'm about- did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn't you? [Pointing at random peasants, who are all backing away from him.]
Yami: grinding teeth Let us go, Patsy.
Patsy: *sweatdrop* holds up cue card: "Yes, master."
[They clop off, leaving a still-ranting Yami Marik]
DK: aims tranquilizer gun Sorry, Mari-kun, it's for your good.
{sfx- Bang! Sssssssstht. Fwump.]
Isis, now sober: Oh! Oh my Pharaoh! I, I insulted you!! WAHHHH!!!! No!!! I—I need to go to my happy place…my happy place…heheheheheh….OOO, PINK FLUFFY BUNNIES!!!!
DK: takes out a straightjacket Sigh, my work is never done…
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Okay, I sorta lied about separating the yamis and hikaris, but work with me here. Review if you want chapter three! ^-^