Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Monty Python. Have a hard-core Gothic day. (inside joke)
Here's chapter four! Thanks to CityBS for reviewing again! Heheh, oh, and Seto will be making his appearance within the next 2-3 chapters. I'm not gonna give any characters away, but you'll see… *gets devious look in her eyes*
And also thanks to my friends Hioga-chan, Kash, and Kitsune Baka for reviewing! I miss you guys!
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[Scene changes to a village, a group of monks that look suspiciously like Marik's mind slaves are walking through, chanting in Latin (but it sounds suspiciously like "Pharaoh wa baaaaka desu") and banging their heads with wooden boards…Marik's plans must have been foiled again…Suddenly, a crowd rushes by, dragging a woman with them.]
Crowd: A WITCH!! She's a witch!! We got a witch!!!! They all stop in front of a knight, who is actually…
Yugi/Sir Bedevir: *Ahem* How do you know she is a witch? Adjusts monocle
Jonouchi (Joey)/Villager: Because she LOOKS LIKE ONE!! Crowd cheers in support
Yugi: Very well. Bring her forward.
Anzu (Tea)/Witch: I am not a witch!!
Yugi: But you are dressed as one.
Anzu: Duh, they dressed me like this!!
Crowd: boos
Anzu: And this isn't my real nose, points to carrot tied over her nose it's a fake one!
Yugi: Lifts up fake nose, glares at crowd What do you have to say to this?
Honda/Villager: Okay…so we did the nose…and the pointy hat…but SHE'S A WITCH!!
Crowd: YAAHHH!! Burn her, BURN HER!!!
Yugi: Sigh…did you dress her up like this?
Crowd: No, no, no, yes—yes, a bit, a bit….
Yugi: exasperated What makes you think she is a witch?
Jonouchi: She turned me into a newt!
Yugi: cocks eyebrow
Jonouchi: sheepishly I--I got better…
[Silence]
Honda: BURN HER ANYWAY!!! Crowd cheers
Yugi: QUIET!!! Crowd keeps yelling I DEMAND QUIET!! Crowd reluctantly shuts up. There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
[Yami and DM come upon the crowd. They stop a distance away to listen.]
Crowd: Murmurs, looking at each other.
Yugi: Okay, first off, what do you do with witches?
Crowd: BURN THEM!!!! BURN THEM!!!!
Yugi: What do you burn apart from witches? Crowd goes silent.
Jonouchi: MORE WITCHES!!
Yugi: Rolls eyes and shakes head. Crowd is pondering his tough question.
[Silence for like 3 minutes…]
Honda: Timidly Um, you burn, w- wood?
Yugi: Right! So, why do witches burn?
[Silence…]
Jonouchi: 'Cause they're made of, wood…?
Yugi: Good! So, how do we tell if she is made of wood?
Honda: Build a bridge out of her!!
Yugi: Slaps forehead Um, no…Glances at script because can't you also build bridges out of stone?
Crowd: Murmurs, trickling down into silence.
Yugi: Sigh. Does wood sink in water…
Crowd: catching on No, no!! It floats, it floats!
Honda: Throw her into the pond!!
Crowd: The pond!!! Throw her in the pond!!
Yugi: But what also floats in water?
Jonouchi: Bread!
Honda: Gravy!
Mokuba/Villager: Very small rocks!!
Weevil/Villager: Hee hee, Exodia cards!!
DK: EW! What is that little freak doing here?? GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!! Zaps him out of existence Ah, much better.
All: sweatdrop
Yami: Heroic stance A duck!
Yugi: Looks at Yami, awestruck Exactly!
Crowd: Ooooooo!!
Yugi: So, logically…
Crowd: pondering
Jounochi: If…If she…weighs the same as a duck….
Honda: She's made of…wood…
Yugi: And therefore?
Jonouchi: Has a shocking revelation She's a WITCH!!
Crowd: A WITCH!!!! A WITCH!!!!
Anzu: Uhg…rolls eyes
Yugi: We shall use my largest scales!
[Everyone goes over to a huge set of wooden scales. Anzu is placed on one side, a duck (named Bob, if you care) is placed on the other.]
Yugi: Remove the supports!
[Two random villagers use huge mallets to hit away two wood columns supporting the tray things. And according to the Scales, compared to a duck, Anzu weighs………….
THE SAME!!]
Crowd: A WITCH, A WITCH!!! BUUUURRRRRN!!!!!! They head off on their merry way with a finger-flipping Anzu, leaving a sweatdropping Yugi behind. Yugi goes up to Yami and DM.]
Yugi: Who are you who looks like my older double, and who is so wise in the ways of science?
Yami: I am Yami, Pharaoh of Egypt and now England.
Yugi: kneels down My liege!
Yami: Geez, finally some respect…Good sir knight, will you come with me to the castle I just won here from a Shadow Game, and join me in my court?
Yugi: I would be honored, my liege!
Yami: Takes out sword and starts knighting Yugi] I dub thee Sir Yugi the Wise of the Pharaoh's Court!
DK/Narrator: Stuffing her face with Ranch Doritos, notices Yami tapping his foot impatiently. Heheh…coming, coming…Ahem, Sir Yugi the Wise was the first to join the Pharaoh's court, but other illustrious names were soon to follow:
Sir Jonouchi, the Brave!
Sir Ryou [Bakura], the Pure!
And Sir Honda, the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Jonouchi, who nearly fought the Dragon of Angor, who nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill!
And lastly, the aptly named Sir-not-appearing-in-this-film [Holds up a picture of Weevil, who, if you remember, was zapped out of existence so obviously could not appear in this film and even if he did still exist DK would rather die than make him a main character because he is so WRONG and his dubbed voice has officially freaked her out. Gasps for breath]
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Well, I bet you Tea/Anzu bashers out there enjoyed this chapter (though I did not write it like that on purpose, I'm neutral when it comes to her). Well, now that Yami has found his knights, things will begin to get very…interesting. Heheh, yeah…
Oh, and "Pharaoh wa baka desu" means "The Pharaoh is an idiot" in Japanese, though you probably could have guessed that. I felt like putting the Japanese I learn in school to good use ^-^