Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Monty Python.  Have a maari day!  Maari means "good" in J.R.R. Tolkien's Elvish language (Quenya, not Sindarin for the picky people out there).  Why?  Because I watched the special extended version of the Two Towers yesterday and elves are very spiffy and bishie-like ^-^

Doumo arigatou gozaimasu, minasan!!!  My reviewers rock my socks!!  But AGAIN with Seto?!  It's not that I don't like him, he's one of my top 3 or 4 fav charas in the show (and he's probably the most like me: moody, has a younger brother, and gets straight A's.  Yah, I'm a total geek ^^;).  I SWEAR TO YOU I'll put him in!!!  Have patience, my good people!!  Or you'll make me mad!  And then I'll sic Bakura on you!!  PH34R HIS 1337 POW3RZ!! 

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[The scene begins with an old man wearing a modern-day suit, standing in front of what looks like a castle wall.  A crudely drawn sign hangs around his neck, labeling him "A Very Important Historian."]

DK: Hey, people!  As a special surprise, we have hired the original Very Important Historian Dude from the original Monty Python movie to narrate! 

VIH Dude: clears throat Defeat at the castle seems to have utterly disheartened, er, Pharaoh Yami ... The ferocity of the French taunting took him completely by surprise, and Yami became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the…uh…Millennium Fuzzypen…er, (of doom) was to be brought to a successful conclusion.  Yami, having consulted his closest knights, decided that they should separate, and search for the, ah, Fuzzypen individually.  Now, this is what they did. No sooner—

[Suddenly a bolt of lightning strikes him.  He collapses on the ground.  A woman runs to him from off camera.]

VIH Dude's Wife: FRANK!!  Not again!!!  turns angrily to DK HE WAS JUST STARTING TO RECOVER FROM THE SLASHING LAST TIME!!!!

DK: major sweatdrop Er, I'm very, very sorry about that… hisses up to Bakura Why did you have to do that????!!!!

Bakura: Hmph.  The old guy was getting annoying.

DK: -_-;  Let us move on.  holds up cue card: "The Tale of Sir Honda"

[A/N: Okay, that was probably only humorous to those of you who've seen the movie.  Gomen!]

[Sir Honda is "galloping" merrily along in some woods, a troupe of minstrels with him, singing of his valor.  He looks very strong and proud, but the lyrics and signs they pass start to have their effect…]

[Sign: Camelot – 43 leagues  Eminent Death – 1 league]

Otogi (Duke)/Minstrel: rather gleefully 

Bravely bold Sir Honda, rode forth from Camelot,
He was not afraid to die, Oh Brave Sir Honda!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Honda!
[Sign: Proceed at own risk.  We are not accountable for missing limbs, disemboweling, loss of life, etc. - K.C.]

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken;
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Honda!
[Sign: Well, nice knowing you. - K.C.]

His head smashed in, and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged,
And his nostrils raped, and his bottom burned off--

Honda: about to puke  Er, That's ... That's enough music for a while, lads. It looks as though there's dirty work afoot.

[Sign: We'll send flowers to your funeral. - K.C.]

Otogi: ^-^ Brave, brave Sir Ho--

Honda: -_-; Shut up.

[They are now passing various charred skeletons, melted swords, etc.  Honda looks around warily as they continue on.  Suddenly, a giant roar shatters the silence.  Honda and co. find they have come upon…]

(All 3 heads) Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon: Halt!  Who art thou? [Honda nearly wets his pants, but Otogi and the other minstrels are unphased]

Otogi: He is brave Sir Honda, brave Sir Honda, who—!

Honda: Shut up.  Oh, nobody, really.  Just passing through, heheh…

BEUD: What do you want??

Otogi: ^-^ To fight and--!

Honda: Shut up!  Ah, nothing, really, just to pass through, good sir, uh, Dragon…

BEUD: I'm afraid not.

Honda: I am a Knight of the Square Table!

BEUD: You are a Knight of the Square Table?

Honda: Uh, yeah, I am…

[A/N: Now the three heads talk individually.]

2nd Head: Oh sporks.

1st Head: In that case, I'll have to kill you.

2nd Head: Shall I?

3rd Head: Oh, I don't think so.

2nd Head: [to 1st] What do you think?

1st Head: I say kill him.

2nd Head: Well, I'm still not sure…

3rd Head: exasperated Okay, how many think I should kill him?

1st Head: I say kill him.

3rd Head: Well, that's only one.

2nd Head: That's not a quorum!

1st Head: Hmph.  It is if I'm chairman.

2nd Head: But I'M chairman this week!

1st Head: Oh, quick, I want to Burst Stream him!

3rd Head: Oh, Burst Stream yourself.

2nd Head: Yes—do us all a favor!

1st Head: What?

3rd Head: muttering …yapping on all the time…

2nd Head: You're lucky; you're not next to him!

3rd Head: What do you mean?!

2nd Head: You snore.

3rd Head: Hmph, liar!  You've got bad breath!

2nd Head: Only 'cause our arms are too short to reach our mouths…

3rd Head: Oh! stop bickering and let's go and have tea and biscuits.

1st Head: All right! All right! We'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.            

2nd Head: Yes.                                                                                                                    

3rd Head: Oh! not biscuits ...                                                                                              

1st Head: All right! All right! Not biscuits - but let's kill him anyway—

[Silence as they realize they are alone]

1st Head: blinks He buggered off!

[Sir Honda rides off to the triumphant music of his minstrels, contemplating how the heck Kaiba stands "his precious" BEUD.  I mean, do they have to have a committee meeting every time they attack?  Or an anonymous vote?  And then do they need to take recounts?  And bring it to court? And--]

Otogi: Brave Sir Honda ran away—!

Honda: I didn't!

Otogi: Bravely ran away away—!

Honda: NO!!  I didn't!!

Otogi: When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Yes, Brave Sir Honda turned about
And gallantly he chickened out!
Bravely taking to his feet
Honda: DID NOT!!

He beat a very brave retreat!
Bravest of the brave, Sir Honda!
Petrified of being dead
Honda: YOU ARE SO LYING!!

Soiled his pants, turned away and fled!

Brave BRAVE BRAAVE, SIR HONDAAA!!!

Honda: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

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Uhg.  That took a looong time to type, 'specially the three head thing…  Well, I guess you could say Kaiba sorta kinda not really made an appearance!  Again, please be patient, I also have school and other stuff taking up my time, but I'll do my best to get these chapters out!