Hey! This is my first fanfic so be nice in your reviews. Even if you don't
like it, you must give me some credit for not making it a Mary Sue. Mary
Sue's scare me.
As a disclaimer, I do not own Nintendo, Link, or Zelda. Ivy, Zelda's maid is my own creation. I wish I owned Nintendo. I really, truly do.
Okay, enough rambling. Now for the story.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------
It was an overcast day in the middle of summer. The sky was a dull gray, and everyone in the kingdom was bored out of their wits.
As a pink-clad princess walked through a forest in Hyrule with her maid Ivy, she suddenly stopped. Ivy crashed into her mistress's back.
Across the river before them sat a young man, about the same age as the girls. The princess's eyes widened. "Ivy," she whispered, "he's a Kokiri!"
"Yes, Princess Zelda," replied the slender Ivy, who knew where this conversation was going.
Zelda sighed and shook her head, blonde hair sliding around on her back. Ivy never had really understood Zelda's attraction to guys with long, pointy ears and white tights. "I know a hottie when I see one, Ivy."
"What do you want me to do about it? Ask him out for you??" questioned Ivy.
"Swim across the river and pull on his ears to see if they're real or latex," responded Zelda.
Without further talk, Ivy was charging towards the stream, and as she dove in, Zelda let out a hideous snort-laugh, the kind that was only produced when she found something hysterically funny.
By this time, she had gained the Kokiri's full attention. "I was only kidding Ivy!" Zelda yelled. Tears rolled down her face.
Of course Ivy couldn't hear Zelda, as she was underwater. But when Ivy emerged from the opposing bank and ran up to the man, Zelda didn't even bother to speak. Ivy tugged on his left ear and a very loud scream was emitted.
"AAUUGHHH!!! What the heck was that for!?!?!" the young man yelled.
Zelda laughed. And laughed. And laughed. She doubled over laughing, only to unintentionally plant her lovely face right into mud.
Now the young man across the river was laughing, as was Ivy who had recovered from the shock of the scream. Shaking, Zelda emerged from the mud. With disgust, she wiped the filth from her face. Then, the real disaster occurred - Zelda discovered the condition of her lacy pink dress. "Nooo!" she yelped. "This was a 2,500 rupee Prada!!"
Much to Ivy and Non-Latex-Ears's surprise, Zelda removed her dirty dress, revealing a pink and white striped camisole and hot pink boxers that had "Bootylicious" printed all over them.
"Well. Um. Princess Zelda. I didn't realize you wore boxers," commented Ivy with a funny expression on her face. Zelda looked down and realized her mistake.
"I, er.it's not like that! I'm not bootylicious! It was the last pair at the store! I needed a new pair of undies and I hate to wear briefs which give you wedgies and thongs which is like having a permanent wedgie! Thongs are pointless! I'm not bootylicious! I - "
Zelda babbled on and on about how she was not bootylicious and wasn't trying to make anyone think she was and the hazards of wearing thongs for about five minutes. After her rambling, Ivy could only ask one thing. "Don't boxers get, um, kinda drafty??" The princess didn't answer.
She only could see her beautiful elf. He wore a green tunic, white tights, and brown boots. His blonde hair flopped in his sea green eyes.
But Zelda was not captivated for long.
On the ground next to him were a shiny sword and a shield. Ivy noticed the weapons a moment before Zelda did. Unfortunately, there was not enough time to stop the princess. Zelda cannonballed into the river and was across in less that five seconds.
"How did she do that?" the Kokiri asked himself. Zelda, dripping wet, sprang out of the water and sprinted to the sword and shield.
"Oh good lord," said Ivy.
"What is wrong with her?" the elf asked Ivy.
"She loves all things shiny. And she's a kleptoma - "
"YAAAAAAHHH!!! SHINY SWORD!!! SHINY SHIELD!! WHEEEE!!!" Zelda's amber eyes were as big as frying pans. She picked up the sword and waved it madly around in the air. "SHINY SHINY SHINY!!!!"
"Oh good lord," said the elf. "She is obsessed with shiny things. Does this happen very often?"
"Sad to say, yes. You should see her at the dinner table. We lose at least five pieces of silverware per day. She steals them. There's a massive collection of shiny things in her bed chamber," Ivy replied in a sorrowful tone of voice.
The elf sighed. "Well, everyone has their faults. Oh, and by the way, I'm Link."
* * *
I hope you like my story so far! I should have the next chapter up soon. Please review, thanks!
As a disclaimer, I do not own Nintendo, Link, or Zelda. Ivy, Zelda's maid is my own creation. I wish I owned Nintendo. I really, truly do.
Okay, enough rambling. Now for the story.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------
It was an overcast day in the middle of summer. The sky was a dull gray, and everyone in the kingdom was bored out of their wits.
As a pink-clad princess walked through a forest in Hyrule with her maid Ivy, she suddenly stopped. Ivy crashed into her mistress's back.
Across the river before them sat a young man, about the same age as the girls. The princess's eyes widened. "Ivy," she whispered, "he's a Kokiri!"
"Yes, Princess Zelda," replied the slender Ivy, who knew where this conversation was going.
Zelda sighed and shook her head, blonde hair sliding around on her back. Ivy never had really understood Zelda's attraction to guys with long, pointy ears and white tights. "I know a hottie when I see one, Ivy."
"What do you want me to do about it? Ask him out for you??" questioned Ivy.
"Swim across the river and pull on his ears to see if they're real or latex," responded Zelda.
Without further talk, Ivy was charging towards the stream, and as she dove in, Zelda let out a hideous snort-laugh, the kind that was only produced when she found something hysterically funny.
By this time, she had gained the Kokiri's full attention. "I was only kidding Ivy!" Zelda yelled. Tears rolled down her face.
Of course Ivy couldn't hear Zelda, as she was underwater. But when Ivy emerged from the opposing bank and ran up to the man, Zelda didn't even bother to speak. Ivy tugged on his left ear and a very loud scream was emitted.
"AAUUGHHH!!! What the heck was that for!?!?!" the young man yelled.
Zelda laughed. And laughed. And laughed. She doubled over laughing, only to unintentionally plant her lovely face right into mud.
Now the young man across the river was laughing, as was Ivy who had recovered from the shock of the scream. Shaking, Zelda emerged from the mud. With disgust, she wiped the filth from her face. Then, the real disaster occurred - Zelda discovered the condition of her lacy pink dress. "Nooo!" she yelped. "This was a 2,500 rupee Prada!!"
Much to Ivy and Non-Latex-Ears's surprise, Zelda removed her dirty dress, revealing a pink and white striped camisole and hot pink boxers that had "Bootylicious" printed all over them.
"Well. Um. Princess Zelda. I didn't realize you wore boxers," commented Ivy with a funny expression on her face. Zelda looked down and realized her mistake.
"I, er.it's not like that! I'm not bootylicious! It was the last pair at the store! I needed a new pair of undies and I hate to wear briefs which give you wedgies and thongs which is like having a permanent wedgie! Thongs are pointless! I'm not bootylicious! I - "
Zelda babbled on and on about how she was not bootylicious and wasn't trying to make anyone think she was and the hazards of wearing thongs for about five minutes. After her rambling, Ivy could only ask one thing. "Don't boxers get, um, kinda drafty??" The princess didn't answer.
She only could see her beautiful elf. He wore a green tunic, white tights, and brown boots. His blonde hair flopped in his sea green eyes.
But Zelda was not captivated for long.
On the ground next to him were a shiny sword and a shield. Ivy noticed the weapons a moment before Zelda did. Unfortunately, there was not enough time to stop the princess. Zelda cannonballed into the river and was across in less that five seconds.
"How did she do that?" the Kokiri asked himself. Zelda, dripping wet, sprang out of the water and sprinted to the sword and shield.
"Oh good lord," said Ivy.
"What is wrong with her?" the elf asked Ivy.
"She loves all things shiny. And she's a kleptoma - "
"YAAAAAAHHH!!! SHINY SWORD!!! SHINY SHIELD!! WHEEEE!!!" Zelda's amber eyes were as big as frying pans. She picked up the sword and waved it madly around in the air. "SHINY SHINY SHINY!!!!"
"Oh good lord," said the elf. "She is obsessed with shiny things. Does this happen very often?"
"Sad to say, yes. You should see her at the dinner table. We lose at least five pieces of silverware per day. She steals them. There's a massive collection of shiny things in her bed chamber," Ivy replied in a sorrowful tone of voice.
The elf sighed. "Well, everyone has their faults. Oh, and by the way, I'm Link."
* * *
I hope you like my story so far! I should have the next chapter up soon. Please review, thanks!