A/N: Hey here the latest chapter. I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think. And thanks to everyone who has sent feedback.
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of GH, ABC, or Disney.
Chapter 16
That night Jason walked into the Oasis with a new sense of wonder. He loved Courtney and he needed to tell her no matter what. She deserves to know that he didn't want to just be her friend he wanted to be more. By the time Jason was over at his usually spot at the bar the announcer started, "Gentlemen, please welcome the beautiful flower that is full of oh so much innocence, but has it's zesty wild side Daisy!"
There's her cue, as Daisy walked out on stage she breathed and followed the music. As she has done every time Jason has been there she looked up and over toward his spot at the bar. Courtney's eyes wee connected with Jason. That was it those were the eyes that could take away all her pain and regret. His were her drug of choice, she was addicting and he didn't want to seek help for this addiction.
***********
Jason sat at the bar with his beer and seen the eyes looking into his from the stage weren't Courtney hiding behind Daisy, but Courtney hiding behind her life. 'God, Courtney, if you only knew what those eyes do to me' Jason mind said hoping Courtney could understand. As the song ended and Daisy walked off the stage Jason turned and face the bar once again going to how he would go about telling Courtney everything and not scare her or make her try to make him change. Jason sat there for about 45 minutes until Daisy was announced once again only this time her introduction said something else. Jason then turned around and she looked right into his eyes again. The way her eyes would drift to him and just stare right into his most would think that she was stripping for Jason, if it wasn't for all the guys in the front throwing money. The men throwing the money and yelling "take it off," were getting a little too rowdy and started trying to grab Daisy. AS soon as Jason saw the hand try to reach up on stage he grabbed the guy and told him, "You want to touch someone, than go home to your wife and hop in bed and stick your hand down your pants." He than pushed the man to the floor and grabbed Courtney and took her off the stage. He put his coat over her and walked toward the door when Coleman walked by.
"Listen man what do you think your doing? Daisy has to work and she knows if she doesn't want certain repercussion than she'll go back up there. Do you understand what I'm saying Courtney?"
"You listen to me Coleman, here the money that should pay for her debt and if you need more you can call Sonny Corinthos. He may have a thing to 2 to say to you about blackmailing his sister," Jason yelled as he walked pass him after throwing money in his face with Courtney still in his arms.
AS they walked outside Courtney was crying, "I can't believe that I thought I had to pay for AJ mistake. I told him not to drive, I told him. And I figured for some unknown reason I figured I'd get in the car and that maybe AJ would decide not to drive and let me take us home. But no he didn't he drove anyway And hit a fucking building and of all the building he hits one that's own by a complete jerk who knows AJ Quartermaine alcoholic never to go into sobriety. So he sees that I loved my husband and would do anything to keep him from jail so instead of just letting me find a way to pay in for the damages he blackmails me. You know he did it right in front of my husband who was too drunk to even realize it. And I hide and lied and did whatever it took to keep AJ from learning the truth. That I his wife had become a stripper because of him."
Jason sat back and took it all in. As soon Jason heard that it was AJ that got her into this mess in the first place. If his stupid brother could just sit back and realize what he had and get his act together Courtney would not be sitting there right now crying her eyes out. All Jason wanted to do was make the pain go away and kill his brother. He finally spoke up as he walked toward her as she sat on the end of the sidewalk, "Courtney, I'll make him pay and think of it this way you never have to go back there and dance for men like that again. I'll make sure of that. I won't let anyone hurt you. Not even AJ."
Courtney sniffled, "Jason, you can't tell anyone that I stripped, and that I did it because of AJ. It's embarrassing because that I did it to begin with and it's even more because I did it to save AJ. And you know that not everyone's like you Jason they won't be able to look at me the same way. The truth I don't even think that you'll look at me the same way because now you know that I stripped for AJ. Can we just forget about. Look thank you for what you did in there I'll find someway to pay you back for the money you gave to Coleman, and I really don't know what I would have done if you weren't there to stop the guy who was going to reach up on the stage."
"Listen there's no need to thank me. I only did what needed to be done and you don't have to pay me back. If anyone needs to pay it's AJ, and I really don't care about paying for the damage. He need to pay for basically making you be put in that situation. You would think that he would learn not to drive drunk from past accidents. And Courtney," Jason said as her grabbed her chin and turned her head toward his face, "I won't think any less of you because you stripped to keep AJ out of jail if anything I admire that… well I admire the fact that you would do anything to keep those you love safe." Courtney than moved closer to Jason and they soon were in the same position that they were in on the cliff only this time they were sitting. Courtney went in for the kiss. The rain started to pour down, but Jason only saw the sun. It was everything that Jason had dreamt, it was passionate, deep, and than Jason backed away.
"Courtney we can't do this. You're still married. And I don't want you to regret anything and than later regret me for what happened. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't have you to count on or talk to. You mean more to me than you could ever know."
"I know what your saying listen I should get going. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry Jason, I hope this doesn't ruin everything. You are one of the few friends I have in Port Charles," Courtney said as she got up and ran away.
Jason wanted to run after her and tell her, "Don't go you can't go back to that bastard of a husband, he doesn't love you like I love you." That all Jason wanted to say her, hoping against all hope that she would turn around and say, "I love you too, Jason. What kind of a woman could still love AJ after all that he's put me through." Instead he sat there and let her go. He let her run away. Than he remember she had his jacket on and was still wearing Daisy's outfit. He walked back into the Oasis and toward the dressing room where he went in and saw a woman standing there.
"You must be Jason," she said, "I'm Reno. You did a really good thing for Courtney tonight. She's not like the rest of us she doesn't need to be here. She was only here because of that scum she has for a husband. I told her, she didn't need to let Coleman get to her. Me, and Wy looked after her as she were one of ours. If it wasn't for her mama and dad I don't think she would have been her to begin with. You she's always had to take care of everyone no matter what it cost her and that's the only reason she was here. So you mister you listen to me, don't hurt her. She's cares about you, and don't let her say otherwise. Listen if the next time she comes by to baby-sit for me and she tells me that you hurt her in anyway what you did to that guy out there won't be nothing. Here… this is what you came for isn't it. These are hers. By the way funny line out there. And thanks for getting those guys in line and making a fool of Coleman. Oh! And good luck."
Jason nodded and had Courtney clothes in his hand. He tried to take in what Reno had said to him. He barely knew her and already he could tell that Reno had a soft spot for Courtney almost like they were sisters. He didn't think about it to long because he wanted to get to Courtney. He just couldn't let her walk down the street in that costume.
Jason ran, and kept running, the rain didn't bother him. Than he saw a girl sitting on the sidewalk. He stopped when he realize that the girl had blonde hair just like Courtney's. "Courtney, thank god I found you. I went back into the Oasis and to get your clothes and ran into a woman who name was Reno, and she gave me thse along with some advice. Which we can talk bout later," Jason told her as he handed Courtney her clothes.
"Thanks, you didn't have to go back into the club to get these, so thanks I really appreciate it. Now look I got to go. I don't know why I just decided to sit down here. I'm gonna go," Courtney said as she got up and walked away. As she walked away Jason caught up with her and said, "I'll let you leave after I cover you so you can put on those clothes over the costume. Then I'll leave you alone to be by yourself."
"Ok. That's sounds ok because the truth is I don't want to be walking around in these clothes. Well costume is more like it. Not to mention thanks to the rain I'm all wet," Courtney told him wiping her eyes. Courtney slipped on her knee length skirt and put on the short sleeves shirt. As Jason faced the oppisite way and made sure she was cover. "Here, Jason here's your coat. you know the leather one you gave me at the club."
Courtney tried handing him the coat, "No, Courtney you can have it for now. Look at you you're shivering. I can do with out it. It no problem." Jason stared into Courtney's eyes when he spoke and she could tell that he really didn't mind if she had his coat. the next thing she knew she put the coat back on and kissed Jason again. Only this kiss was more passionate than the first. Jason felt like fireworks were going on and he didn't want them to stop. And than the fireworks were gone. "I… I don't know what came over. Look I'm sorry, Jason. I've got to go. Please just forget everything that has happened tonight. I shouldn't have kissed you," Courtney told him as she ran away. Jason wanted to run after her and tell her everything about his feelings and how no matter how hard he tried he'd never be able to forget her kiss. The way she moved right before they kissed and the feeling that went off when they kissed. As she ran out of sight Jason could finally speak, "I don't care what came over you Courtney, and I could never forget that we kissed and how when we did everything just seemed to fall into place. And maybe someday you'll see that I need you and you need me. Because I love you Courtney." Jason just stood in the rain a million thoughts going through his mind. And all his thoughts were of him and Courtney and what he wished could be. He told himself, "I've been all over the world and seen a million different places with a million different faces in each and for some reason no face even compares to yours. No eyes are as pretty as those crystal blues, or tickle-me-pink lips, and your beautifully long blonde locks. The truth is no one can even compares to you.
***********
Courtney walked home after she had ran of Jason. She was so relieved that he decided not to follow her or try to catch up because she wasn't sure what she would do next. "Why? Why does my life have to be so complicated? Can't I just be happy? That's all I wanted was for me and AJ to be happy and grow old together. Is that so bad? Obviously because looked at my life now. I just kissed my husband's brother not once, but twice. And to be honest I like it. I like kissing Jason and I shouldn't. the kisses should have never happen. I'm going to become my mother and there's no way around. That's why I can't be happy. If I'm to be Janine Amanda Matthews than happiness is out and bitterness is supposed to take over," Courtney told herself as she reached her apartment building. She walked inside and decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator. She knew if she had to wait in the elevator than she would just sulk some more and think of the kisses she and Jason had shared. The kissed she had wanted so badly but never would admit to. "I need to work out those stairs sure got to me. All I want to do now is get out of these wet clothes and take a nice hot shower with the steam evaporating onto my body to warm me up from that cold rain. Courtney tah made it to her door and placed the key in the key hole. As she entered the apartment she was greeted my Rosie. "Hey girl. Look mommy can't play right now I need to go take a shower." Rosie stopped jumping on her and just followed Courtney. She walked right over to the radio and than toward the bathroom. As she turned on the shower Linkin Park came on the radio she went and turned up the radio and than went back to the bathroom where she could hear it just fine and hoped into the shower.
"Memories consume Like opening the wound I'm picking me apart again You all assume I'm safe here in my room [Unless I try to start again]
I don't want to be the one The battles always choose 'Cause inside I realize That i'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream I don't know why I instigate And say what I don't mean I don't know how I got this way I know it's not alright So I'm breaking the habit Tonight
Clutching my cure I tightly lock the door I try to catch my breath again I hurt much more Than anytime before I had no options left again
I'll paint it on the walls 'Cause I'm the one at fault I'll never fight again And this is how it ends
I don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream But now I have some clarity To show you what I mean I don't know how I got this way I'll never be alright So I'm breaking the habit Breaking the Habit Tonight," Courtney sang, and than she heard Rosie bark. "What is it sweetie. Huh? What do you hear Rosie?" Courtney got up and put on her robe when the bathroom door opened. Courtney was about to panic when she saw AJ standing there all wet. "Oh my god, AJ you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing back? You weren't due till another three days."
"I left a message did you get it. It's on the answering machine. Plus I missed my beautiful wife. Is that not allowed?" AJ said as he went to kiss her, but she turned her head so he only kissed her cheek.
"I didn't check the messages, I walked home from work today. I had a lot on my mind and I wanted to clear my head. And I got really wet so I decide to take a shower. And you like you need one to. So you can go and I'll go and check the messages."
"Well, Courtney, I do need to take a shower and you look like you weren't done so why don't we take one together. What do you say?" AJ smirked.
"Listen I'm really tired and hot now that I just took that shower so you can just go and I'm go to get ready for bed. And I'll turn the radio off." Courtney then went to go and turn off the radio and when she got there the song on the radio stopped her from turning it off.
I love and I need you Nelly, I love you, I do Need you
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo You know I'm crazy over you
Uh-uh-uh-uh I met this chick and she just moved right up the block from me And she got the hots for me, the finest thing I need to see But oh, no, no, she got a man and a son, oh-oh, but that's okay 'Cause I wait for my cue and just listen, play my position Like a shortstop, pick up e'rything mami hittin' And in no time I better make this friend mine and that's for sure 'Cause I-I never been the type to break up a happy home But there's something 'bout baby girl, I just can't leave her 'lone So tell me, ma, what's it gonna be She said, "You don't know what you mean to me," come on
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo You know I'm crazy over you
Uh-uh-uh-uh I see a lot in your look and I never say a word I know how n****s start actin' trippin' , and hate up all the girls And there's no way Nelly go for it Ain't f***in' with no dame, as you could see But I-I like your steeze, your style, your whole demeanor The way you come through and holler, and swoop me in his two-seater Now that's gangsta and I got special ways to thank ya, don't you forget it But it ain't that easy for you to back up and leave him But you and me we got ties for different reasons I respect that and right before I turned to leave She said, "You don't know what you mean to me," come on
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo You know I'm crazy over you
Sing it for me, K
I love and I need you Nelly, I love you, I do And it's more than you'll ever know Boy, it's for sure You can always count on my love Forever more, yeah, yeah
East coast, I know you're shakin' right Down south, I know you're bouncin' right West coast, I know you're walkin' right ('Cause you don't know what you mean to me) Midwest, I see you swingin' right
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo You know I'm crazy over you
East coast, I know you're shakin' right Down south, I know you're bouncin' right West coast, I know you're walkin' right (You don't know what you mean to me) Midwest, I see you swingin' right
East coast, you're still shakin' right Down south, I know you're bouncin' right West coast, I know you're walkin' right (You don't know what you mean to me) Midwest, you're still swingin' right
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo You know I'm crazy over you
Yeah, yeah
East coast, I know you're shakin' right Down south, I know you're bouncin' right West coast, I know you're walkin' right (You don't know what you mean to me) Midwest, I see you swingin' right
East coast, you're still shakin' right Down south, I know you're bouncin' right West coast, I know you're walkin' right (You don't know what you mean to me) Midwest, you're still swingin' right
Courtney listen to the song and knew that her decision had to be made. She couldn't call Natalie now and ask for help, or go to Carly she had to do everything by herself and couldn't run away. She refused to run away. Courtney knew she had to look deep inside herself and decide once and for all Jason and her feelings or AJ and their marriage. She went to bed and put on her headphones like she was 15 again, trying to block out the world, but the truth was she was blocking out AJ instead of the world. She didn't want to speak to either Jason or AJ until she knew what had to be done. She fell asleep after AJ had enter the bed. AJ didn't even try to talk to her he was to mad that she would have sex. That what it had become. She and AJ didn't make love, they had sex. Courtney just sat and waited, hoping her mind would decide. The truth was Courtney was running all time as fast as she could from this ghost that she believes is her destiny.
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of GH, ABC, or Disney.
Chapter 16
That night Jason walked into the Oasis with a new sense of wonder. He loved Courtney and he needed to tell her no matter what. She deserves to know that he didn't want to just be her friend he wanted to be more. By the time Jason was over at his usually spot at the bar the announcer started, "Gentlemen, please welcome the beautiful flower that is full of oh so much innocence, but has it's zesty wild side Daisy!"
There's her cue, as Daisy walked out on stage she breathed and followed the music. As she has done every time Jason has been there she looked up and over toward his spot at the bar. Courtney's eyes wee connected with Jason. That was it those were the eyes that could take away all her pain and regret. His were her drug of choice, she was addicting and he didn't want to seek help for this addiction.
***********
Jason sat at the bar with his beer and seen the eyes looking into his from the stage weren't Courtney hiding behind Daisy, but Courtney hiding behind her life. 'God, Courtney, if you only knew what those eyes do to me' Jason mind said hoping Courtney could understand. As the song ended and Daisy walked off the stage Jason turned and face the bar once again going to how he would go about telling Courtney everything and not scare her or make her try to make him change. Jason sat there for about 45 minutes until Daisy was announced once again only this time her introduction said something else. Jason then turned around and she looked right into his eyes again. The way her eyes would drift to him and just stare right into his most would think that she was stripping for Jason, if it wasn't for all the guys in the front throwing money. The men throwing the money and yelling "take it off," were getting a little too rowdy and started trying to grab Daisy. AS soon as Jason saw the hand try to reach up on stage he grabbed the guy and told him, "You want to touch someone, than go home to your wife and hop in bed and stick your hand down your pants." He than pushed the man to the floor and grabbed Courtney and took her off the stage. He put his coat over her and walked toward the door when Coleman walked by.
"Listen man what do you think your doing? Daisy has to work and she knows if she doesn't want certain repercussion than she'll go back up there. Do you understand what I'm saying Courtney?"
"You listen to me Coleman, here the money that should pay for her debt and if you need more you can call Sonny Corinthos. He may have a thing to 2 to say to you about blackmailing his sister," Jason yelled as he walked pass him after throwing money in his face with Courtney still in his arms.
AS they walked outside Courtney was crying, "I can't believe that I thought I had to pay for AJ mistake. I told him not to drive, I told him. And I figured for some unknown reason I figured I'd get in the car and that maybe AJ would decide not to drive and let me take us home. But no he didn't he drove anyway And hit a fucking building and of all the building he hits one that's own by a complete jerk who knows AJ Quartermaine alcoholic never to go into sobriety. So he sees that I loved my husband and would do anything to keep him from jail so instead of just letting me find a way to pay in for the damages he blackmails me. You know he did it right in front of my husband who was too drunk to even realize it. And I hide and lied and did whatever it took to keep AJ from learning the truth. That I his wife had become a stripper because of him."
Jason sat back and took it all in. As soon Jason heard that it was AJ that got her into this mess in the first place. If his stupid brother could just sit back and realize what he had and get his act together Courtney would not be sitting there right now crying her eyes out. All Jason wanted to do was make the pain go away and kill his brother. He finally spoke up as he walked toward her as she sat on the end of the sidewalk, "Courtney, I'll make him pay and think of it this way you never have to go back there and dance for men like that again. I'll make sure of that. I won't let anyone hurt you. Not even AJ."
Courtney sniffled, "Jason, you can't tell anyone that I stripped, and that I did it because of AJ. It's embarrassing because that I did it to begin with and it's even more because I did it to save AJ. And you know that not everyone's like you Jason they won't be able to look at me the same way. The truth I don't even think that you'll look at me the same way because now you know that I stripped for AJ. Can we just forget about. Look thank you for what you did in there I'll find someway to pay you back for the money you gave to Coleman, and I really don't know what I would have done if you weren't there to stop the guy who was going to reach up on the stage."
"Listen there's no need to thank me. I only did what needed to be done and you don't have to pay me back. If anyone needs to pay it's AJ, and I really don't care about paying for the damage. He need to pay for basically making you be put in that situation. You would think that he would learn not to drive drunk from past accidents. And Courtney," Jason said as her grabbed her chin and turned her head toward his face, "I won't think any less of you because you stripped to keep AJ out of jail if anything I admire that… well I admire the fact that you would do anything to keep those you love safe." Courtney than moved closer to Jason and they soon were in the same position that they were in on the cliff only this time they were sitting. Courtney went in for the kiss. The rain started to pour down, but Jason only saw the sun. It was everything that Jason had dreamt, it was passionate, deep, and than Jason backed away.
"Courtney we can't do this. You're still married. And I don't want you to regret anything and than later regret me for what happened. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't have you to count on or talk to. You mean more to me than you could ever know."
"I know what your saying listen I should get going. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry Jason, I hope this doesn't ruin everything. You are one of the few friends I have in Port Charles," Courtney said as she got up and ran away.
Jason wanted to run after her and tell her, "Don't go you can't go back to that bastard of a husband, he doesn't love you like I love you." That all Jason wanted to say her, hoping against all hope that she would turn around and say, "I love you too, Jason. What kind of a woman could still love AJ after all that he's put me through." Instead he sat there and let her go. He let her run away. Than he remember she had his jacket on and was still wearing Daisy's outfit. He walked back into the Oasis and toward the dressing room where he went in and saw a woman standing there.
"You must be Jason," she said, "I'm Reno. You did a really good thing for Courtney tonight. She's not like the rest of us she doesn't need to be here. She was only here because of that scum she has for a husband. I told her, she didn't need to let Coleman get to her. Me, and Wy looked after her as she were one of ours. If it wasn't for her mama and dad I don't think she would have been her to begin with. You she's always had to take care of everyone no matter what it cost her and that's the only reason she was here. So you mister you listen to me, don't hurt her. She's cares about you, and don't let her say otherwise. Listen if the next time she comes by to baby-sit for me and she tells me that you hurt her in anyway what you did to that guy out there won't be nothing. Here… this is what you came for isn't it. These are hers. By the way funny line out there. And thanks for getting those guys in line and making a fool of Coleman. Oh! And good luck."
Jason nodded and had Courtney clothes in his hand. He tried to take in what Reno had said to him. He barely knew her and already he could tell that Reno had a soft spot for Courtney almost like they were sisters. He didn't think about it to long because he wanted to get to Courtney. He just couldn't let her walk down the street in that costume.
Jason ran, and kept running, the rain didn't bother him. Than he saw a girl sitting on the sidewalk. He stopped when he realize that the girl had blonde hair just like Courtney's. "Courtney, thank god I found you. I went back into the Oasis and to get your clothes and ran into a woman who name was Reno, and she gave me thse along with some advice. Which we can talk bout later," Jason told her as he handed Courtney her clothes.
"Thanks, you didn't have to go back into the club to get these, so thanks I really appreciate it. Now look I got to go. I don't know why I just decided to sit down here. I'm gonna go," Courtney said as she got up and walked away. As she walked away Jason caught up with her and said, "I'll let you leave after I cover you so you can put on those clothes over the costume. Then I'll leave you alone to be by yourself."
"Ok. That's sounds ok because the truth is I don't want to be walking around in these clothes. Well costume is more like it. Not to mention thanks to the rain I'm all wet," Courtney told him wiping her eyes. Courtney slipped on her knee length skirt and put on the short sleeves shirt. As Jason faced the oppisite way and made sure she was cover. "Here, Jason here's your coat. you know the leather one you gave me at the club."
Courtney tried handing him the coat, "No, Courtney you can have it for now. Look at you you're shivering. I can do with out it. It no problem." Jason stared into Courtney's eyes when he spoke and she could tell that he really didn't mind if she had his coat. the next thing she knew she put the coat back on and kissed Jason again. Only this kiss was more passionate than the first. Jason felt like fireworks were going on and he didn't want them to stop. And than the fireworks were gone. "I… I don't know what came over. Look I'm sorry, Jason. I've got to go. Please just forget everything that has happened tonight. I shouldn't have kissed you," Courtney told him as she ran away. Jason wanted to run after her and tell her everything about his feelings and how no matter how hard he tried he'd never be able to forget her kiss. The way she moved right before they kissed and the feeling that went off when they kissed. As she ran out of sight Jason could finally speak, "I don't care what came over you Courtney, and I could never forget that we kissed and how when we did everything just seemed to fall into place. And maybe someday you'll see that I need you and you need me. Because I love you Courtney." Jason just stood in the rain a million thoughts going through his mind. And all his thoughts were of him and Courtney and what he wished could be. He told himself, "I've been all over the world and seen a million different places with a million different faces in each and for some reason no face even compares to yours. No eyes are as pretty as those crystal blues, or tickle-me-pink lips, and your beautifully long blonde locks. The truth is no one can even compares to you.
***********
Courtney walked home after she had ran of Jason. She was so relieved that he decided not to follow her or try to catch up because she wasn't sure what she would do next. "Why? Why does my life have to be so complicated? Can't I just be happy? That's all I wanted was for me and AJ to be happy and grow old together. Is that so bad? Obviously because looked at my life now. I just kissed my husband's brother not once, but twice. And to be honest I like it. I like kissing Jason and I shouldn't. the kisses should have never happen. I'm going to become my mother and there's no way around. That's why I can't be happy. If I'm to be Janine Amanda Matthews than happiness is out and bitterness is supposed to take over," Courtney told herself as she reached her apartment building. She walked inside and decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator. She knew if she had to wait in the elevator than she would just sulk some more and think of the kisses she and Jason had shared. The kissed she had wanted so badly but never would admit to. "I need to work out those stairs sure got to me. All I want to do now is get out of these wet clothes and take a nice hot shower with the steam evaporating onto my body to warm me up from that cold rain. Courtney tah made it to her door and placed the key in the key hole. As she entered the apartment she was greeted my Rosie. "Hey girl. Look mommy can't play right now I need to go take a shower." Rosie stopped jumping on her and just followed Courtney. She walked right over to the radio and than toward the bathroom. As she turned on the shower Linkin Park came on the radio she went and turned up the radio and than went back to the bathroom where she could hear it just fine and hoped into the shower.
"Memories consume Like opening the wound I'm picking me apart again You all assume I'm safe here in my room [Unless I try to start again]
I don't want to be the one The battles always choose 'Cause inside I realize That i'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream I don't know why I instigate And say what I don't mean I don't know how I got this way I know it's not alright So I'm breaking the habit Tonight
Clutching my cure I tightly lock the door I try to catch my breath again I hurt much more Than anytime before I had no options left again
I'll paint it on the walls 'Cause I'm the one at fault I'll never fight again And this is how it ends
I don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream But now I have some clarity To show you what I mean I don't know how I got this way I'll never be alright So I'm breaking the habit Breaking the Habit Tonight," Courtney sang, and than she heard Rosie bark. "What is it sweetie. Huh? What do you hear Rosie?" Courtney got up and put on her robe when the bathroom door opened. Courtney was about to panic when she saw AJ standing there all wet. "Oh my god, AJ you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing back? You weren't due till another three days."
"I left a message did you get it. It's on the answering machine. Plus I missed my beautiful wife. Is that not allowed?" AJ said as he went to kiss her, but she turned her head so he only kissed her cheek.
"I didn't check the messages, I walked home from work today. I had a lot on my mind and I wanted to clear my head. And I got really wet so I decide to take a shower. And you like you need one to. So you can go and I'll go and check the messages."
"Well, Courtney, I do need to take a shower and you look like you weren't done so why don't we take one together. What do you say?" AJ smirked.
"Listen I'm really tired and hot now that I just took that shower so you can just go and I'm go to get ready for bed. And I'll turn the radio off." Courtney then went to go and turn off the radio and when she got there the song on the radio stopped her from turning it off.
I love and I need you Nelly, I love you, I do Need you
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo You know I'm crazy over you
Uh-uh-uh-uh I met this chick and she just moved right up the block from me And she got the hots for me, the finest thing I need to see But oh, no, no, she got a man and a son, oh-oh, but that's okay 'Cause I wait for my cue and just listen, play my position Like a shortstop, pick up e'rything mami hittin' And in no time I better make this friend mine and that's for sure 'Cause I-I never been the type to break up a happy home But there's something 'bout baby girl, I just can't leave her 'lone So tell me, ma, what's it gonna be She said, "You don't know what you mean to me," come on
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo You know I'm crazy over you
Uh-uh-uh-uh I see a lot in your look and I never say a word I know how n****s start actin' trippin' , and hate up all the girls And there's no way Nelly go for it Ain't f***in' with no dame, as you could see But I-I like your steeze, your style, your whole demeanor The way you come through and holler, and swoop me in his two-seater Now that's gangsta and I got special ways to thank ya, don't you forget it But it ain't that easy for you to back up and leave him But you and me we got ties for different reasons I respect that and right before I turned to leave She said, "You don't know what you mean to me," come on
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo You know I'm crazy over you
Sing it for me, K
I love and I need you Nelly, I love you, I do And it's more than you'll ever know Boy, it's for sure You can always count on my love Forever more, yeah, yeah
East coast, I know you're shakin' right Down south, I know you're bouncin' right West coast, I know you're walkin' right ('Cause you don't know what you mean to me) Midwest, I see you swingin' right
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo You know I'm crazy over you
East coast, I know you're shakin' right Down south, I know you're bouncin' right West coast, I know you're walkin' right (You don't know what you mean to me) Midwest, I see you swingin' right
East coast, you're still shakin' right Down south, I know you're bouncin' right West coast, I know you're walkin' right (You don't know what you mean to me) Midwest, you're still swingin' right
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do All I think about is you Even when I'm with my Boo You know I'm crazy over you
Yeah, yeah
East coast, I know you're shakin' right Down south, I know you're bouncin' right West coast, I know you're walkin' right (You don't know what you mean to me) Midwest, I see you swingin' right
East coast, you're still shakin' right Down south, I know you're bouncin' right West coast, I know you're walkin' right (You don't know what you mean to me) Midwest, you're still swingin' right
Courtney listen to the song and knew that her decision had to be made. She couldn't call Natalie now and ask for help, or go to Carly she had to do everything by herself and couldn't run away. She refused to run away. Courtney knew she had to look deep inside herself and decide once and for all Jason and her feelings or AJ and their marriage. She went to bed and put on her headphones like she was 15 again, trying to block out the world, but the truth was she was blocking out AJ instead of the world. She didn't want to speak to either Jason or AJ until she knew what had to be done. She fell asleep after AJ had enter the bed. AJ didn't even try to talk to her he was to mad that she would have sex. That what it had become. She and AJ didn't make love, they had sex. Courtney just sat and waited, hoping her mind would decide. The truth was Courtney was running all time as fast as she could from this ghost that she believes is her destiny.