~*Harry Potter and the Second War*~

So sorry about not updating this right away... But this OUGHT to be intense, interesting, and all that other stuff you look for in a fic. *Eyes pan over to reviews* Fi-fi-fifty s-seven reviews!?!?! Whoa! Thanks, people! And to every single person who said "Tonks isn't dead" in their review, I am just so happy to announce that I knew that already. Count on my lack of focus to ramble at the end of a chapter...

And the votes are in... The Amazing Snorkack will not use profanity other than the word "hell" and variations of the word "damn" (not damn itself), meaning DANG, DANGIT, DARN, and that whole thing. We're gonna keep it relatively JK Rowling-style, everybody. Sorry to the people who voted for swearing Thanks for your cooperation.

Funny Part of Book Five: "Who d'you know who's lost a buttock?" –– Tonks, Order of the Phoenix p 48

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Chapter 5- Friendly Return

By the next afternoon, Harry was in an absolutely fierce humor. He was allowed to explore the castle now, deserted as it was, but he saw the portraits staring at him as he passed. He suspected that Dumbledore was having them watch over him. He got so fed up that he stumbled into the Room of Requirement without realizing it.

He was expecting it to be lined with bookshelves full of DADA books, like it always was during meetings of the D.A., but it was curiously different. Apparently his mind had been on escaping the portraits, so there was not a frame in sight. An ornate fireplace stood opposite him, the fire lit and a pot of Floo powder on the mantle. A few books on Occlumency were stacked on a table, which was surrounded by three comfortable chairs. The room was lit by torches in brackets, giving everything in it an odd, wavering look.

"Er," he said, looking around. Why in the world would he need Floo powder? He wasn't stupid enough to sneak out under Dumbledore's nose.

He sat down in one of the chairs, and picked up an old-looking book entitled Practical Occlumency. He was flipping through it, hoping to find something that might make Snape more bearable, when the fireplace roared with green flame.

To Harry's shock, it was Ron that stumbled out of the fireplace. He had some ash on his face, but he looked otherwise normal. Hermione came out after. By then, Harry had dropped the book on the table and had stood up.

"How did you get here?" Harry asked, stunned.

"Well, er –" Ron started to say. Hermione jumped over and gave Harry a very stifling hug around his neck.

"Harry, are you okay? We heard that they made you come here instead of the Burrow, but nobody told us why!" She had finally let go of Harry, who was very grateful of that.

"There was an attack on a wizard community near the Burrow, or something."

"There was?" Ron looked confused.

"Dumbledore and Professor Lupin were being really vague," Harry added. "I bet I wasn't supposed to come at all. They were probably just raising our hopes. So how did both of you get into the Room of Requirement?"

"This is the Room of Requirement? Blimey, it's different."

"I liked it better with all of those bookshelves," sighed Hermione, peering at the books on the table. "I suppose you wanted to study and see us at the same time?"

"Well, to tell you the truth, I guess I had a lot on my mind. . . ."

"Of course you would!" Hermione cut him off before he could add to what he was saying. "Maybe the Room rerouted us from the Gryffindor common room. That's where we were supposed to go."

"We're going to have to be careful if we want to go anywhere in the castle. All those paintings are watching me. It's so creepy," Harry said.

"But your Invisibility Cloak is right here!" Ron revealed a shimmering silver cloak that was most certainly not there when Harry had entered the room. "At least, I think it's yours."

"There's more of them," Harry commented, noticing two more that had appeared as the need had arisen. He tossed one to Hermione and took the other one for himself. "Just wondering, but how did you find the chance to come here?"

"Mum and Dad are at a meeting of the Order of the Phoenix, and they left us at home. We don't think they'll be back till at least nine o'clock."

"But I have Occlumency lessons at seven," Harry muttered. "My watch is waterlogged and it's been broken since the Second Task. Anyone have the time?"

"Six fifteen. Why not buy another watch?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, buy a watch when you're at the top of the hit list of an evil maniac, and being escorted from place to place by a bunch of loonies. It sounds easy enough," retorted Harry.

"I didn't mean it that –"

"Sorry, I've just been so bored for the past four weeks of my life that it's hard to imagine I'm really speaking to both of you."

Hermione and Ron threw on the cloaks. Harry did too, but neither of them noticed him slip Practical Occlumency under the cloak as well.

They opened the door. All the portraits were staring at the doorway, unaware that three people had just sneaked out of it. They found an area of the hallway where all the pictures were gone from their frames and decided it was safe to whisper.

"Let's go to the library, Harry. You could probably find a book on Occlumency. Maybe you should study for your N.E.W.T. preparatory classes."

"No, I think we should explore that place where they hid the Philosopher's Stone back in first year," offered Ron. "Wonder if Fluffy is still there?"

"How about the Chamber of Secrets?" Harry volunteered. "There's always been something suspicious about it. I don't think the part I've been in is the real Chamber of Secrets."

"How could the part you were in not be the Chamber of Secrets?" Ron guffawed. "Even Riddle from the diary said it was the real Chamber, didn't he?"

"Yeah, but. . . ."

"Harry, there's something you aren't telling us," Hermione said pointedly.

"All right. Last night, I had one of those dreams, the kind that Occlumency is supposed to prevent. It was like the Department of Mysteries dreams, except. . . . I just can't explain. I'm probably not even supposed to understand it."

"It could be a trap, like last time. It wasn't your fault, of course, but you're easily lured to help other people." Hermione sounded very resolute.

There was a long stretch of silence. Since nobody could see each other in the Invisibility Cloaks, they all waited for someone else to start speaking.

"What time is it?" Harry asked again.

"Seven."

"Oh, no!" Harry moaned quietly. "Can you guys get back to the Room of Requirement without me?"

"Yeah, I think so. So we'll try to write to you. Bye!"

Harry was already dashing toward the stairs. He knew that Snape was not going to be happy. In fact, Snape was going to be very, very pissed. As he sprinted down the seven flights of steps, his Invisibility Cloak caught on his shoe and he went sprawling, half-visible, on the stone floor. The book he had been casually holding skidded across the floor, until someone Harry couldn't look up to see stopped it with their foot. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach about who it was.

"Late, Potter," Snape hissed.

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And now, I will continue where I left off at the top of the page. Yes, I will change the O.W.L.s and stuff (well apparently some people read the book a little too closely, no offense or anything). Go ahead and tell me whats wrong with the story. That's the beauty of it. I can get so much wrong its funny. Just be glad I caught my mistake and added O.W.L.s at all!

Oh yeah, now I remember what I was going to say! Sorry I'm being infrequent with my updates. I do have a social life, so I'll tend to not be home to finish a chapter (these things take a couple hours to write!). I'll try my best, though.

I was gone for just one night, and my reviews skyrocketed from 21 to 58! This is a world record for me! Well, I've never written before on Fanfiction, so technically it is... you know... heh heh... oh never mind.

*takes the black quill and a piece of parchment* I... will... write... halfway... decent... and... interesting... chapters... OW OW OW!