author: Lucinda
rating: pg/pg13
disclaimer: I hold no legal rights to anyone that you recognize.
distribution: Twisting, Paula, anyone else ask first.
note: this is set AU season 3 Buffy.
Summary: Sunnydale High just keeps going through teachers, don't they? Follows 'What is This?'
Willow had a lot on her mind as she made her way towards the chemistry lab. Buffy said the new cook was the Swedish Chef... that just seemed wrong on so many levels, to use Buffy's phrasing. Part of her was just amazed at the rapid acquisition of a replacement cook so quickly, especially considering the history of the faculty here. Principal Flutie had been eaten by 'wild dogs', the Biology teacher's head had been found in a closet, and the substitute had been Ms French, who'd 'vanished' after Buffy had hacked the evil mantis woman to bits. Some people still thought that Giles had killed poor Jenny Calendar, the swim coach had 'vanished' after being ripped apart by the mutated swim team, they'd lost four teachers to 'neck ruptures'... actually, the last of those had been the Chemistry teacher, Mr. Thompson. Had they replaced him, or would there be another dreadful substitute waiting for them today?
She took her seat, offering a tiny smile to the other students of the class. Hopeful, she pulled out her chemistry book and opened a notebook to write notes for class.
"Good afternoon, students!" The voice sounded impossibly cheerful, the sort of educated non-accent that newscasters tended to have. There was a few noises, and then a figure climbed to the top of the stool behind the counter in front of the room. "I am Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, and I am the new chemistry teacher here at Sunnydale High. Allow me to introduce my assistant Beaker..."
"Meep!" A thin figure with worried eyes and a shock of bright red hair emerged from the chemistry supply closet, a lab coat flapping around him as he gestured worriedly with one hand, a small vial of something held carefully in the other. "Meep meep meep, meep meep."
Every student in the room was now staring at the front of the room, expressions varying from shock to disbelief to amazement. Even if only from the bizarreness factor, it was obvious that today's class would be a lot more interesting than the Friday near-study-hall from the substitute. They watched as Dr. Honeydew accepted the small vial from his assistant.
"Well, Beaker has just informed me that there seems to be a slight shortage of some of the chemicals, so it seems we will only have a single demonstration before we begin the lab work. According to the notes left by Mr. Thompson, you should have read about unstable and volatile compounds, thus preparing you for today's demonstration on nitroglycerin." Dr. Honeydew adjusted his glasses, his eyes still unnoticeable as a result of his extreme squint. "Thank you, Beaker."
Willow gasped, a sudden feeling just exploding into her. This would be... potentially very bad. Nitroglycerin exploded. They had a teacher handling something explosive over the Hellmouth. The chances of something good resulting from this were rather small. She began trying to figure out how effective the table would be as a shield against explosions. A quick glance showed that she was not alone in her worries. She grabbed her safety glasses, jamming them onto her face even as she wondered how bad this would get.
"Is this guy nuts?" Whispered one of the students.
Carefully lowering the backpack full of stuff to the floor as she pushed her stool backwards far enough that she would be able to slip under the table easily, Rosa muttered "No more complaining about lame subs, I promise."
"Now observe carefully the effects on this nitroglycerin as I shake it."
Dr. Honeydew's words had an amazing effect on the class. Everyone moved, eyes focused on the glass vial in the stubby fingers, bodies crouched below the tables. A few people were muttering prayers.
"It should happen fairly soon now. Beaker, please hold this while I get my safety goggles..."
The small vial was passed to Beaker, who held it gingerly, eyes wide as he uttered a tiny "meep."
Afterwards, Willow wasn't quite certain what had caused it, but almost everybody ducked at the same moment. That moment was right before the loud 'BOOM' from the front of the room, releasing smoke and shaking the floor.
Slowly, cursing her own curiosity, Willow peeked back over the table. Bits of ceiling tile had fallen through the room, and the walls were soot darkened. Beaker stood there, his coat smoking, hair frazzled and sooty, a look of utter misery on his face. "Meep."
Oh yes, Chemistry class was going to be something this year. Assuming they managed to finish the year without detonating the entire school building.
end What is this 2: Who's in the Chemistry Lab?
rating: pg/pg13
disclaimer: I hold no legal rights to anyone that you recognize.
distribution: Twisting, Paula, anyone else ask first.
note: this is set AU season 3 Buffy.
Summary: Sunnydale High just keeps going through teachers, don't they? Follows 'What is This?'
Willow had a lot on her mind as she made her way towards the chemistry lab. Buffy said the new cook was the Swedish Chef... that just seemed wrong on so many levels, to use Buffy's phrasing. Part of her was just amazed at the rapid acquisition of a replacement cook so quickly, especially considering the history of the faculty here. Principal Flutie had been eaten by 'wild dogs', the Biology teacher's head had been found in a closet, and the substitute had been Ms French, who'd 'vanished' after Buffy had hacked the evil mantis woman to bits. Some people still thought that Giles had killed poor Jenny Calendar, the swim coach had 'vanished' after being ripped apart by the mutated swim team, they'd lost four teachers to 'neck ruptures'... actually, the last of those had been the Chemistry teacher, Mr. Thompson. Had they replaced him, or would there be another dreadful substitute waiting for them today?
She took her seat, offering a tiny smile to the other students of the class. Hopeful, she pulled out her chemistry book and opened a notebook to write notes for class.
"Good afternoon, students!" The voice sounded impossibly cheerful, the sort of educated non-accent that newscasters tended to have. There was a few noises, and then a figure climbed to the top of the stool behind the counter in front of the room. "I am Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, and I am the new chemistry teacher here at Sunnydale High. Allow me to introduce my assistant Beaker..."
"Meep!" A thin figure with worried eyes and a shock of bright red hair emerged from the chemistry supply closet, a lab coat flapping around him as he gestured worriedly with one hand, a small vial of something held carefully in the other. "Meep meep meep, meep meep."
Every student in the room was now staring at the front of the room, expressions varying from shock to disbelief to amazement. Even if only from the bizarreness factor, it was obvious that today's class would be a lot more interesting than the Friday near-study-hall from the substitute. They watched as Dr. Honeydew accepted the small vial from his assistant.
"Well, Beaker has just informed me that there seems to be a slight shortage of some of the chemicals, so it seems we will only have a single demonstration before we begin the lab work. According to the notes left by Mr. Thompson, you should have read about unstable and volatile compounds, thus preparing you for today's demonstration on nitroglycerin." Dr. Honeydew adjusted his glasses, his eyes still unnoticeable as a result of his extreme squint. "Thank you, Beaker."
Willow gasped, a sudden feeling just exploding into her. This would be... potentially very bad. Nitroglycerin exploded. They had a teacher handling something explosive over the Hellmouth. The chances of something good resulting from this were rather small. She began trying to figure out how effective the table would be as a shield against explosions. A quick glance showed that she was not alone in her worries. She grabbed her safety glasses, jamming them onto her face even as she wondered how bad this would get.
"Is this guy nuts?" Whispered one of the students.
Carefully lowering the backpack full of stuff to the floor as she pushed her stool backwards far enough that she would be able to slip under the table easily, Rosa muttered "No more complaining about lame subs, I promise."
"Now observe carefully the effects on this nitroglycerin as I shake it."
Dr. Honeydew's words had an amazing effect on the class. Everyone moved, eyes focused on the glass vial in the stubby fingers, bodies crouched below the tables. A few people were muttering prayers.
"It should happen fairly soon now. Beaker, please hold this while I get my safety goggles..."
The small vial was passed to Beaker, who held it gingerly, eyes wide as he uttered a tiny "meep."
Afterwards, Willow wasn't quite certain what had caused it, but almost everybody ducked at the same moment. That moment was right before the loud 'BOOM' from the front of the room, releasing smoke and shaking the floor.
Slowly, cursing her own curiosity, Willow peeked back over the table. Bits of ceiling tile had fallen through the room, and the walls were soot darkened. Beaker stood there, his coat smoking, hair frazzled and sooty, a look of utter misery on his face. "Meep."
Oh yes, Chemistry class was going to be something this year. Assuming they managed to finish the year without detonating the entire school building.
end What is this 2: Who's in the Chemistry Lab?