After much ado the company set off into the forest. They had gone on a little more than a mile when they came upon another stream.

This was a very good stream.

'Here is Nimrodel!' Said Legolas. Even though it was obvious, it was still a good thing to say. Luthien sighed romantically. Elanor sniggered.

'I will bathe my feet, for it is said that the water is healing to the wary.'

'And hoooooot to the hot.' Luthien said, nodding to herself. 'Should I ask him if he fancies a bit of skinny-dipping?'

Elanor wrinkled her nose.

Legolas bounced in. 'Follow me,' he cried, 'the water is not deep. Let us wade across- on the further bank we can rest and the sound of the falling water may bring us sleep and forgetfulness of grief.'

Luthien jumped in after him and splashed about happily. Then they played a splashy game and snogged for hours. Legolas and Luthien splashed about until moonlight streamed through the trees and ohh many a passionfruit…

Elanor stared at Luthien, who was standing ankle deep in the water with a very dreamy expression on her face, her eyes glazed. 'Luthien?'

Luthien jumped. '…er…where is hottielfofbows?'

Elanor pointed. 'Where he was just a few seconds ago.'

'But- but- passionfruit?'

Elanor patted her arm sympathetically. 'Poor, poor delusional elf. I'm afraid 'twas all a dream.'

Luthien pouted but quickly swished through the stream to where her love was getting out.

After getting nice and wet and cheerful again, they sat and munched on food for a few wee hours and then, to Luthien's most joyful joy, Legolas told them many a story. Luthien didn't hear much of the story telling, as she was too dazed to take in what he said, and only heard a strange murmur in her ears that was his lovely voice. She heard him saying what he was saying, but did not take in a single word.

Then Legolas sang. Luthien did not stir, but continued to stare at him with love, completely hypnotised. When his voice faltered she snapped out of it suddenly.

'I cannot sing any more,' he said, and then yakked on for a bit longer. Luthien did not care what he yakked on about, as long as it was him doing the yakking.

They turned off the path and went into the shadow of a deeper wood. Elanor shivered. Spiders. Erlack.

'I will climb up,' said Legolas, when they came to some very large trees, clustered together. 'I am at home among trees by root or bough. Though these trees are of a kind strange to me, save as a name in song. Mellyrn, they are called.'

'I am at home wherever you are at home, my love,' Luthien whispered. Elanor kicked her in the shin.

'Whatever it may be, they will be marvellous trees indeed if they can offer any rest at night, except to birds. I cannot sleep on a perch!'

'I can.' Elanor said proudly.

'Then dig a hole in the ground,' said Legolas.

'Ew. Dirty,' Elanor said.

'Yeah, Elanor, dig a hole in the ground. But you had better make it deep, what with the orcs patrolling and all. Yes, Worm Girl I shall call you. Simplest-minded Hobbit by day, worm bed-buddy by night. Yep. I'll go up with Legolas. You stay down here and sleep with the worms…and snails…ooh and slugs-'

'Oi! I refuse to sleep in a hole! I am sleeping in that tree.' She tried to wrap her arms around the trunk and climb up, but failed miserably and slid back to the ground.

Luthien snickered. The action looked very sad.

Legolas sprang lightly up from the ground and a caught a branch, but he had only been swinging (mucho-ly) for a moment when a voice suddenly said 'Daro.' It came from somewhere above them.

Luthien was indignant. She had very much enjoyed watching her elf swing above her, though it did make her feel rather dizzy.

Legolas jumped back to the earth in surprise and fear.

'Luthien, Legolas is scared. Comfort him.' Elanor grinned wickedly to herself.

Legolas told them to shut up, which disappointed a certain elf, who had been about to cuddle him in a rather suffocating bear hug.

Above them someone laughed and proceeded to speak elvish. But it was elvish they did not understand, though some of them wouldn't have understood it anyway, so therefore it doesn't really matter. Legolas knew, however, and looked up and answered in the same language.

Luthien wished she knew what he was saying. He sounded really hot.

Then Legolas and Frodo climbed up the tree at the elves bidding.

Luthien flicked back her hood and shook out her long hair; trying to make it really obvious she was an elf too. They did not seem to notice her efforts, but when a ladder was let down and Sam scampered up it, Luthien followed hastily.

When she reached the top, Legolas was sitting with the other elves, while one had come forward to inspect them with his lamp. Luthien looked longingly at Legolas, but stayed put.

The elf welcomed them in Elvish, and Frodo answered haltingly in return, for he was a clever hobbit, as we all well know.

'Welcome,' they said in the common tongue. They didn't talk much because elves aren't really talky talky. The elf was Haldir and his brothers were Rumil and Orophin. Luthien went and sat with them and made a mental note to herself- if Legolas for some reason ever disappeared, she would make her way back here and become friendly with these elfy boys.

They were very lovely.

And spunky.

At the end of their little meeting, Legolas and Luthien climbed back down and sent the hobbits up the tree, before going off to their own tree with Aragorn and Gimli and Boromir. Luthien scowled at Aragorn, Gimli and Boromir behind their backs. She tried to do the talky thing like in Life is Beautiful, with the wavy hands. 'You will go away,' she whispered. 'Go awaaaaay…'

Legolas raised his perfect eyebrows at her, but said nothing. She dropped her hands and hummed quietly to herself, though not before shooting several dirty looks at the other three- oh, if only they would suddenly come down with a temporary infectious disease so that she could spend the night ALONE with her Love.

If only, she thought sadly.

When they got to the top they all chose a place and unrolled their blankets etc. There was another elf up there on the talan and he told them to help themselves to drinks before engaging Luthien in a slow conversation - slow because most of the time they couldn't understand what the other was saying. But never the less it was good for Legolas soon joined them and it was a merry old talk. Except it wasn't really that was just Luthien, they were actually discussing serious things in low voices. Then the other temporary inhabitants of the tree began to join in and Luthien decided to get under her blanket. She began to drift off to the sound of her prince's voice yet was wide-awake with excitement at the same time. For a fleeting moment the idea crossed Luthien's mind that perhaps she could get an army of orcs to rush past under the tree and stay there with her hot one while he others ran down to fight. But no.

Elanor stared about at her surroundings contentedly. She liked trees. The other hobbits didn't seem very comfortable about sleeping such a high way off the ground.

Pippin whined for a little while about not wanting to fall off, and Elanor nodded agreeably.

Sam was the first to fall asleep, snoring his sweet little head off, but none of the others could sleep. Elanor could have fallen asleep, if she had chosen to, but preferred to sit silently staring at her love with blurry eyes. Finally she dozed off, thinking about apples and wedding cake.

In Luthien's tree, just as Luthien was sneakily trying to crawl closer to Legolas, they heard the sound of orcs stampeding below them. 'Yrch!' all the elves in the tree hissed simultaneously. Gimli sat bolt upright and attempted to axe his blanket, which had fallen over his head in a desperate attempt to defend himself under 'attack'. Poor old Gimli, Luthien thought sadly, he must be really worn out from the Moria thing. Gone Bonkers.

The elf in their tree slipped out and joined his brothers to trick the orcs. Luthien really wanted to go but Aragorn stopped her. 'There are too many for our small company to take on alone, Luthien. Stout-hearted as you are, I cannot permit a maiden to fight alongside the elves of Lothlorien.'

Luthien was about to retaliate with a 'who made you king of Middle Earth' retort but then her brain set in. 'Oh... Yeah…' she giggled.

It was very, very cold the next morning, and the company set out with Haldir and Rumil. Legolas was quite miserable to be leaving behind his darling Nimrodel- Luthien had never seen anyone quite so attached to a stream, and look quite so hot being sad about it. In the ground they could see prints of orc feet- a rather horrible sight, and they were all pissed off about it.

Haldir showed them how to cross the stream Celebrant- by running along a rope tied to the tree on one side and the other end tied to a tree on their side of the bank. Legolas went first because he (as he said) was skilled. Luthien, feeling a little huffy about him being so show-offy (and also just wanting to show him that she also was very skilled) ran across after him. That'll learn him, she thought cheerfully to herself. The elf next to Haldir, who had caught the rope, was extremely spunky close up, and Luthien, after giggling a bit, didn't waste time in flirting with him. Actually, the giggling probably can be included in the flirting, especially the little shove Luthien gave the Oh So Funny Giggle-maker in the chest. She noticed out of the corner of her eye the disapproving looks Legolas was throwing them. She also noticed the throw up movements Elanor was providing for her- quite theatrically, really.

Two more ropes were fastened so everyone else could cross- Pippin, as it turned out, was extremely very and awfully so talented. Sam was terrified, and when he made it to the other side without falling off the rope, breathed a sigh of relief. Luthien hugged him proudly. He blushed a dark shade of pink.

Elanor was the last to cross. She eyed the rope warily, and was reminded suddenly of camp in year 9. She didn't fall off then. She was not going to fall off now.

An idea sprung to mind.

She obviously did not want to fall off, and so, to the wonder (and embarrassment of Luthien) of everyone, wrapped her arms around the bottom rope and started making her way across, crawling in a sloth like fashion upside down.

'Very coordinated, hobbit girl,' Luthien said, rolling her eyes.

Elanor smiled proudly.

Now that they were all across the stream, they stopped, and it was time for poor old Gimli to be blindfolded. He was, naturally, disgusted at this notion.

Aragorn decided they should all be blindfolded so as to be fair to Gimmers, Aragorn was a very fair man, and really kind of hot too, but the point is that this made Legolas very snooty. Gimli said he wouldn't mind if only Legolas shared his blindness- this made the snootiness of Legolas even snootier. Super-Snooty, he was by this time. Aragorn said something about the stiff necks of elves (Lucy scowled and whispered to Elanor that her neck was definitely not stiff, nor would it ever be) and stood by his decision. While this disappointed the hobbits and everyone else, Elanor supposed it had saved Gimli being shot by Legolas.

They were all blindfolded (tres dark) and Haldir started to lead them through Lothlorien, the other elf bringing up the rear. Like cattle. Blind cattle. Elanor mooed experimentally.

They walked all day, and Luthien could feel blisters beginning to pop up on her heels- she knew, she just KNEW that she shouldn't have worn those shoes. They were sparkly and probably not suitable for all day hikes, no matter how slow the hiking was. (Slow.) But, Legolas would be sure to note her lovely feet soon enough, and then…she sighed dreamily, thinking of the passionfruit.

So Luthien spent the main part of the walk day-dreaming, lost in her own happy world- she would have conferred with Elanor, but it was hard to tell exactly who she was talking to and, really, it wouldn't have been dandy if she'd informed Legolas about the wedding. He didn't know about the full arrangements yet and she didn't want to frighten him off.

Elanor, however, talked to whoever was near, and occasionally to no one at all.

When it came to nightfall, they settled themselves upon the ground, still blindfolded- Legolas was still grumpy about this and complained loudly. Luthien was too miserable about her blisters to comfort him, and instead moaned for a little while to Elanor- when she received no comfort from her friend ('I SAID you shouldn't wear those shoes, you goose') she curled up in a ball and shut up her eyes, even though she didn't have to. Stupid Lothlorien, she thought to herself. Now I'm in a pickle because I want him to see how lovely my shoes are but I don't know if they're dirty now or not and even if they ARE then he can't even SEE them anyway because he's blindfolded and when he DOES see them my feet will be bleeding from these gosh darn blisters and I'll die and then we'll never be able to share in the joys of passionfruit…wait. Not even passionfruit coz that doesn't even exist here and even if it DID, I'd much rather be doing…

And so she went on for a long while until her brain was bored with its own ramblings and switched itself off in annoyance.

The sun rose the next morning as it always did, but none of them were able to see the rising, as they were still blindfolded and stuck in darkness. Legolas pointed this out sourly and Luthien tried to pat his arm, but couldn't find his arm to pat.

She sighed, thinking about the muscle she was missing the opportunity to stroke.

Elanor in turn attempted to comfort Luthien, but realised she was patting Legolas' knee. (She realised when Legolas said 'is someone patting my knee?')

Luthien scowled and attempted to kick Elanor. Frodo yelped.

Sam jumped up to defend his master, and two tell tale thumps signified Pippin and Sam crashing to the ground.

Haldir, who had gone off for…something, came back and stared about in amazement: many members of the company were now rolling about on the ground, struggling to get up, and one of the smaller hobbits was patting Aragorn's knee.

He blinked, sighed, helped the more unfortunate companions to their feet, and they continued on their way.

At noon the company heard the sound of voices all around them, and they realised a host of elves had silently marched and gathered around them.

To Legolas' extreme delight, they were at last allowed to remove their blindfolds. The first thing Luthien did was stare in rapture at Legolas. The second was to promptly sit down on the ground and inspect her wounded feet- they weren't in great condition, and she let out a loud sniffle. Elanor flopped down next to her and smiled comfortingly. 'Don't worry, dear goose. I'm sure they'll fix themselves up soon enough…' she paused for a moment, as if considering whether or not she should continue. She did. 'I told you so.'

Luthien scowled menacingly.

Around them the rest of the company sat down around the clearing, taking in the surroundings while the elf and hobbit crapped on about silly shoes and knee patting. Luthien was a little jealous she hadn't got to pat Legolas' knee, and Elanor pointed out she hadn't even known who it was, so therefore it didn't really count. 'Besides,' she said cheerfully. 'Aragorn's knee felt exactly the same. Couldn't tell the difference, so you're honestly not missing anything.'

Luthien grumbled and continued tending to her feet.

'OOOOH!!!!'

A loud shriek pierced the ears of everyone within…a large radius.

'It's my FLOWERS!' Elanor squealed. 'They're named after ME!'

'Or,' said Luthien, still a little grumpy about the knee thing 'you're named after THEM.'

'Same thing,' Elanor said indifferently, and she gazed happily at them for a long period of time.

Everyone stared at them. After a pause, Haldir went off with Frodo and Sam.

Aragorn thought about Skanky Elf. He was 'wrapped in some fair memory.' Or, Luthien thought 'thinking stupidly about Skankess of Dumbness who would never be as cool as Eowyn no matter how hard she tried.'

After a little rest, the company went on their way further into Lothlorien until it was night. They came to the city of Caras Galadhon, where Celeborn and Galadriel lived. (According to Haldir, who did a nice little speech.)

They weren't allowed to go in through that entrance so they had to walk along lots of paths and went through a gate and they could hear some pretty singing. The sky was alight with stars. Stars were alighting the sky. Elanor, staring at the alighting-ness, bumped into the back on Legolas' knees, and Luthien threw a tantrum.

A quiet tantrum so as not to disturb everyone else.

'What IS it with you and his knees, eh? If you love his knees SO MUCH, why don't you just ATTACH yourself to them!? Hm?! Or, maybe, you could go with your own love.'

Elanor blinked. 'It was an accident,' she said in a forlorn voice.

'Yes, well. Hurrumph.'

'However I apologise.'

'Good.' Luthien continued to look huffy for a moment, and then she made an odd quacky noise, and Elanor knew she was forgiven. 'But if you find me cuddling Pippin's knees, don't be jealous.'

Elanor looked thoughtful. 'Okay…poor old Pippin.'

They noticed a nice little fountain, and a tree. A big tree. A really big tree. In fact, the tree was so big, it was the biggest tree in all the land.

THE END.

When they went up the tree, there were three elf wardens and one of them blew his horn and it was answered three times. Haldir said he would go up first and then Frodo and then Legolas and then Luthien. The others could follow because they were slow and not accustomed to such stairs. 'Ha ha,' said Luthien, and continued in a singsong voice. 'You're not accustomed.'

Luthien had a great view, being behind Legolas and all.

They eventually came to a big talan and golly! There was a house on it. In the oval shaped house with green and silver walls and a golden roof, there were many seated elves. Ah yes, there was good old Celeborn and his wife, Galadriel, both looking very 'grave and beautiful'.

When everyone came inside and had sat down with the Lord and Lady they were given the unfortunate news about their beloved Mithrandir. Celeborn thought the tidings 'evil' and they were. But oh how wrong they were as well.

Talk. Talk. Celeborn got snooty with Gimli but Galadriel stuck up for him and he was eternally smitten. Gimli thinks Galadriel's a hottie.

Celeborn apologised. Luthien finally accomplished what she had been attempting to achieve all evening: play footsies with Legolas.

Then they were told to clean their teeth, do their dishes and hop into bed. Minus the cleaning of teeth and dishwashing part.

The fellowship plus two walked off to their beddie-bie place- which was couches on the ground near that nice old fountain and the Really Big Tree. But possibly wasn't.

The elves farewelled them, and the tired fellowship chatted about Galadriel being inside their heads- a perfectly normal thing to happen to anyone, naturally.

All of the normal companiony people things were offered either a) the One Ring that is Evil, b) the chance to not possibly die and get to go home, or c) Merry wouldn't say.

Boromir turned to Elanor and Luthien and said, in a little bit of a more peeved voice than usual (as he wasn't very fond of a certain elf maiden whose name starts with G) 'and what did the Lady of the Golden Wood speak to your minds, gentle maidens?'

They looked at each other.

'Erm…' said Luthien intelligently.

'Well…' Elanor continued.

'It's the darndest thing-' Luthien started, but Elanor cut her off.

'-She offered me all the pancakes in the world, plus lots of lamingtons, and those nice little buns, and instead of seven meals a day I'd have nine…'

A pause.

Luthien looked at her with an exasperated expression, and picked up her own little lie.

'And what of you, elf maiden?'

'Er- well. You see, what the Lady Galadriel said to me was something I had intended to keep to myself, but seeing as you are so persistent, Boromir, heir to the Steward of Gondor, I shall enlighten you.'

Boromir looked a bit bashful.

'The fair Lady of the Galadrim foretold that in Lothlorien I will be acquainted with my true love, Lego- he will come to me and profess his undying love for me. Oh and we shall make sweet passionfruit that I love by moonlight.' She nodded.

Legolas stared at her. That last sentence was oddly familiar.

As everyone got ready to go to bed, Elanor whispered to Luthien 'what did she really say to you?'

'Nothing,' Luthien answered nonchalantly. 'I couldn't hear her. Good thing that,' she added as an after thought.

'Me neither. Won't she be a little, you know, suspicious of us?'

'We can just tell her we've got natural mind blocks or something,' Luthien said, a little distracted, watching Legolas change.

'Erk,' Elanor said, wrinkling her little nose. 'I don't think you should be watching that.'

Unfortunately, just then, Sam inconveniently chose to notice the presence of the two non-males.

The two were hurriedly escorted over to a tree where they could not witness any more porn.

'Damn it damn it bother and blow.' Luthien cursed, trying to peek around the tree, 'he'd only stripped down to his pants.' She complained.

Elanor slapped her and quickly skipped off to where the now changed and fully clothed company were and where she would be safe from the Wrath of Luthien.

Just as they snuggled down under their sheets Luthien gave a strangled cry of anguish.

'What is it?' Elanor asked concernedly.

'I just remembered,' Luthien whispered, her FAIR features riddled with distress, 'in the book it says Legolas, and I quote, "was away much among the Galadrim, and after the first night he did not sleep with the other companions…"'

'Ah he likes his elves, eh?' Elanor said in a yobbo voice, elbowing Luthien in the ribs to earn a hard shove for her troubles.

'Yes I suppose he does but he especially likes ME, which is why I guess this is my last night with the fellowship as well.'

'You're leaving me?' Elanor's eyes widened. 'You're leaving me all alone in a big huge enormous wood where strange elf people could catch me and take me away forever and ever and ever?'

Luthien hurrumphed and said in a grumpy-ish voice 'you are not all alone, dim wit. You're with your love and all his friends and the hobbit who is going to Save All of Middle-Earth.'

'Shhh.'

'Oh yes. What I meant to say was 'the hobbit who is trying to save all of Middle Earth, even though he could possibly not succeed, which would be a terrible tragedy. Er, because he might.' Luthien thought this was sufficient enough and began to brush her shiny long dark tresses. Oh the wonders of Elven Shampoo. For Women. Your hair will look so luscious that he'll try to steal your shampoo because he'll feel insecure and worry that his hair doesn't look as shiny and smooth as yours. Elven Shampoo. That's no pooey sham. Luthien's commercial would have continued happily inside her somewhat deranged mind for some time, but her friend mistook her silence for the opportunity of continuing the conversation. Crazy talking hobbits.

'But I won't have you,' Elanor whined.

'I need my Love, Elanor. Surely you understand? …Anyway, the point is I am not prepared for this. If I'd had more time to plan, maybe I could have thought of something to accomplish this night. But…I guess I'll just have to improvise.'

'What? Go cuddle up with Legolas or something?'

'No, idiot. I'll have to come up with a reason to follow Legolas every waking moment. And,' she added thoughtfully, 'every sleeping moment too. And every other moment I can think of.'

'Not that I want you to go…but maybe you could say that he's got kind of a magnet thing inside his head, and there's a weird gravity force thing between it and you and so you can't help but follow him everywhere, seeing as there's a magnetic field dragging you along. AND if you KISS him, it can all be explained by the magnet! "Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that my head is drawn to your head, I couldn't help it."'

Luthien silenced her by putting a hand over her mouth. 'There would be nothing to explain because he would be simply drawn to me by my beauty…and brains. And feel compelled to kiss me.' She said all this very sternly, and Elanor felt compelled to nod. 'Yes. Um, that's what I meant. Your beauty.'

'Good girl. Now you can go to sleep if you want. I will stay up all night scheming, I think.'

'May I stay up scheming with you?' Elanor asked eagerly. 'I'm a really, really excellent schemer and it's our last night together in Lothlorien and we'll probably hardly SEE each other until we leave in those pretty boats, and then…we'll be separated for ages,' Elanor said in a whisper.

'Yes, yes, and I shall be running through the fields with my love!'

'I was commenting more on the sadness of us not being together for a really long period of time. Also you may be off running with your love, but I will be being carried away by horrible smelly uncouth ORCS.'

Luthien's mind was still consumed by thoughts of her love. 'Ah, well, you chose the hobbit for your love. You could have chosen, say, Gimli- oh…anyway, I shall be coming back for meals and whatnot while we're here. Come along Elanor, don't be grumpy. Help me trap my love.'

'Okaaay. I have only two questions: what if Legolas doesn't want you hanging around with him, and second, how are you going to run for that long without stopping?'

'Ahem. In answer to your FIRST question, Legolas adores every single thing about me…sort of…so he won't mind, and in answer to your SECOND question…I, uh, don't know. I'm sure I'll be able to do it...I am an elf.'

'Luthien, you've got blisters from the WALK through Lothlorien.'

'Hey, that was the shoes! And can we not talk about this? My legs are sore from just thinking about it and we don't have much time left to plan my massive, oh so important plan.'

Elanor finally agreed and stopped yakking on about stuff that wasn't really important at this point in the story.

They stayed up until very late in the night, actually until extremely early in the morning, planning and plotting and scheming very schemingly. They stayed up this way, doing such things until Luthien glanced down and saw that Elanor was fast asleep against her knee, breathing deeply and drooling a little on Luthien's dress she'd picked out especially for their first evening in Lothlorien. Luthien pulled a face (albeit a fair and elfish face), moved her friend away from drooling range of her clothing, had a quick peek at Legolas to take in his ultimate hotness (even though he did look just a wee bit spooky with his eyes open), and then dozed off next to Elanor, content that her elf would soon be in her clutches and that she would somehow manage to run all that way without having a heart attack. Perhaps. Maybe they didn't have heart attacks in Middle Earth anyway.

The two female members of the Fellowship woke up rather late the next day due to the petty exertions of the evening before, and when they did awake they were all alone in the clearing.

Luthien shoved Elanor (who was snoring softly) awake. 'Oi, Elanor, wake up!'

'No Daddy I don't want to go to school today, I hate the troll. I hate s+e and it's so unfair. Don't make me go.'

'Elanor…'

'Mmm?'

'I have a plan.'

Elanor sat up rubbing her eyes sleepily. 'Oh. Hello, Luthien. You have a plan?'

'Aye, that I do. You will train me to become the fittest most athletic elf in all of the Middle Earth, so that I can keep up with Legolas and those other guys.'

'What happened to following Legolas around the whole time we're in Lothlorien and when he's caught off guard, accidentally kissing him passionately on the mouth?'

'Oh, I'm going to do that too. But in between following him around you have to train me, okay?'

Elanor looked a little doubtful. 'Can I be called Trainer Bramblerose?'

'Whatever you want, Trainer Bramblerose.'

'Yay! Twenty push-ups, NOW!'

'Not yet, ignoranti!'

'Oh.'

It was a long time before the fellowship saw the Lady and Lord of the Wood again; Luthien and Elanor were rather grateful for this as they were (in the back of their busy minds) just a wee bit nervous about Galadriel being suspicious about their impenetrable minds, but it seemed she wasn't too fussed about impostors being involved with the fellowship. She was probably more caught up with planning how to annihilate Boromir.

Or then again, maybe not.

Definitely not.

No.

They also had no time to explain to Galadriel about their impostor-ness, as they were extremely busy either:

Following Legolas around

Hanging around with Pippin and those other short dudes

Training Luthien for the Big Run

Helping Luthien walk after a bit of training for the Big Run

Helping Luthien up after she realised she couldn't walk after trying to train for the Big Run

And etcetera.

The next few days in Lothlorien Luthien spent as Legolas' shadow. His shiny silky-haired female shadow. He would often wander off with the Galadhrim and Gimli but fortunately, Luthien was asked to come along too, as she was their kin after all. Heh, well, they thought she was anyway, and who was she to argue with them?

On the second night of their stay, Elanor had wandered off with the other hobbits looking for supper, so Luthien decided to explore the area a little. She skipped along the soft grass in the moonlight humming an elvish ditty…well, not really, she was actually humming the Gay Eskimo song, but who could know? Anyway, she skipped along enjoying the way her silver dress danced and twirled in the wind, when she came upon a drunken elf.

He was lying against a Mellyrn tree, slurring a Gandalf lament that the other elves assembled somewhere above them sang, when he suddenly dropped at Luthien's feet and grasped her ankle. "Leeeg."

"Hmm…" said Luthien thoughfully, "an intriguing observation."

"Ya know wha?" the elf continued, not caring if he was talking to a tree or elf, "I fig, tha th' on'y reason tha star fing luvs Mr. I'm-so-the-king-or-going-to-be-soon is because …he's goin to be the king." He nodded smugly at Luthien's "astonished" face. Obviously she was astonished at his wisdom and perception, even when he'd had a few (too many) apple ciders. Her face actually showed confusion, amusement and a little disgust, for she had not the faintest idea what this raving elf was raving about and his breath reeked terribly, but he was drunk so she didn't rudely burst out laughing or anything.

"Yes…I understand. Completely." She answered, smiling and nodding.

"I knew you would." He whispered, playfully nudging her shoulder like they were old mates, just having the good ol' chat.

"…Me too. Okay, Luthien needs her leg back so if you'll just be obliging…"

Suddenly the elf pulled her down beside him, thrusting her against the tree. "What are you doing," she demanded angrily, "You're crumpling my sparkly dress-"

"Shh!" the elf whispered urgently, all of a sudden he seemed alert and awake.

"Get off! You-" Luthien began to say, but the drunken elf put a strong hand over her mouth to silence her. He had pulled her against his chest and she was just beginning to think in annoyance that it was the grotty Elrond thing all over again, when she heard voices.

With curiosity, she realised that one of the voices belonged to Celeborn.

They were talking in their Galadhrim language but Luthien could make out that they were looking for a Reuvean who was a guard or watcher or something.

When the elves passed, the leg-happy elf released Luthien who instantly turned on him angrily, "What did you do that for?!"

Straightening, the elf bowed in apology and said, "The Lord and the chieftain where looking for the guard Reuvean. I am Reuvean and I did not fulfil my duty of guarding the Wood tonight as ordered." He said simply.

"That," Luthien said, still flustered, "is apparent."

"I apologise, lady, I was cowardly and most un-chivalrous." Reuvean bowed his head in shame.

Luthien felt sorry for the slack guard who was slack, "It is forgiven, Reuvean."

"I am in your debt," Reuvean said in polite custom, and Luthien grinned. She'd been waiting for this kind of opportunity and so she seized it.

"eeexcellent…" she muttered evilly, before saying aloud, "This I will mention to no one and I will even offer you a…an allaby as to your whereabouts on this night when you are questioned."

"Your graciousness cannot be conceived," Reuvan said humbly.

"Of course, I must ask of you a favour," Luthien continued slowly, and Reuvean's smile faded.

"Go on."

Elanor was thoroughly enjoying her time with Pippin and the other ones at supper. The hobbits were seated at a low intricately carved wooden table and by this time they were 'filling in the edges' and laughing and singing merrily as they had not done since Rivendell.

Elanor looked over at Frodo and frowned. He was sitting at the table with a forlorn look and had stopped singing the beer song, while Merry and Sam were dancing around on the grass beside him (Merry was saying something to Sam like "it's your turn to be the woman", Elanor didn't quite understand why) but Frodo seemed oblivious to their antics.

"What's the matter Fro? Do? Fro-do…" she trailed off into a bazaar fit of laughter before picking up her thread of conversation again, "You seem un-hiccuppy."

Frodo looked at her and smiled meekly, "I miss him. I'm afraid and I miss them so much."

Pippin looked into Frodo's face unsteadily and slurred, "'S'okay Fody, ye'll be righ' wiv a beer or two…" and he shoved a goblet into his hand and nodded, tapping the little ring bearer's shoulder before collapsing onto the ground and sleeping.

Elanor ignored this and said gently, "You miss Gandalf and Bilbo?"

Frodo nodded and said, "and her. I miss…I miss…miss…me…moom.." and he burst out laughing. The elven wine had begun to kick in.

"Really?" Elanor asked the spoon on her right.

"Nuh!" Frodo snorted bemusedly, "nup…I miss me Lil…Lily…Lila."

"Ooh!" said Merry who had come back to sit by them at the table, "uh, Frodo, hey me friend," he said waving needlessly as he was two inches from his face, "I know where she lives. Lila Brandybuck," he was whispering now, "is my cousin."

"Yeah, Merry we knew that," Elanor said, then tried to roll her eyes but failed and ended up going cross-eyed.

"When I get back home," Frodo continued, mainly to himself, "I'm gonna find her, eat her, and marry her on the moon," he frowned. Something didn't sound right there.

A spoon glinted in the moonlight at Frodo. "What are you looking at!" he yelled at it and muttered, "darn shifty spoons. I trust my fork more than a spoon. Blunt edges my foot!"

In another area of Lothlorien, though no less drunken and crazy than other parts, Luthien and her new friend Reuvean sat. On a mat. In a flet. Damn that didn't rhyme.

Anyway, Luthien had not seen He of the Hottness all day long and was becoming a little frustrated.

The elves around them danced and ordered drinks from the bar…elf, and all the while Luthien was keeping a sharp eye out for her Leggy. After several minutes of impatient waiting and many apple ciders, she told Reuvean to scout around for Master Greenleaf again. He nodded to her goblet and stumbled (skilfully) off towards the ladder and vanished down it.

A couple of minutes later he appeared and whispered loudly to her from the hole, "He's coming by the tree!"

"What?" Luthien panicked, she was not ready, oh Iluvatar her hair! "Which tree?"

"The one of Lothlorien," Reuvean said un-helpfully, but he grinned so darn cutely.

"Oh, I'll go down myself," Luthien said and wobbled (skilfully) down the ladder. She missed the last eight steps but landed gracefully on her bum. How Elanor would have laughed. "You evil lil' bugga!" Luthien cursed out at the night to Elanor, "I know you can hear me!" and she winked at the group of startled elves near her, "Yeah, and I'm better than Elanor at that too!"

Then she stared.

Then she groaned.

There, in the middle of the group, dressed in a silver tunic to rival her dress' magnificence, was He. Mr. Mc Schmeg. Legolas. His perfect eyebrows were raised in a state of…what was it? Confusion? Pity? …Alarm!

"Stay where you are!" he cried at her, and with lightening speed set an arrow to his bow.

Luthien in awe, said quietly, "You are so cool." Before realising that his bow was aimed right at her.

A savage snarl …snarled from somewhere in the deep shadows of the wood behind Luthien's right shoulder. Instantly the atmosphere was tense with danger. The trees seemed to be still with apprehension as Luthien slowly turned her head to look behind her into the shadow. She was still sitting on the ground, but the pain in her buttocks no longer troubled her as she faced the deep shadow and saw what it had hidden.

"Gulp," she said, "Erm…teh (she clicked her tongue nervously)…so…erm… how are you? Good? Good." She continued, though the hundred or so orcs, made no movement nor answer, "okay…well, I…I think I'll just be moving out of the way and letting the elves kill you now…"

Luthien went to move but realised that she was rather surrounded. Several orcs around her were already laid slain by the Best Archer in the World (take that Robin Pansy Hood!) but a few had now pointed crudely-made weapons at Luthien's throat in a sort of threat. If you think orcs happy to murder you is threatening.

"Stay where you are!" Legolas cried again urgently in such a clear beautiful voice that made her forget about the smelly orcs for a moment.

The fat smelly orc that held Luthien's arm smiled mockingly, and Luthien winced as it dug its claws in painfully and snarled, "We'll not harm the she-elf if you lot let us pass."

Legolas' hand hesitated and his eyes flicked to the orcs holding weapons to Luthien's throat. Then slowly he lowered his bow. The other elves did the same.

"Do not do this for me!" Luthien cried out dramatically to Legolas, silently willing him to keep going. He was so romantic. Such a champ. "It is folly to let such foul evil creatures pass un-harmed for one insignificant maid!" And who is beautiful, she thought at him, and un-selfish and modest and you want her so damn badly…

Already Luthien had begun to feel that, silently above her, elven archers gathered and were waiting for a signal to attack. It was all very exciting and Luthien thought with glee of how Legolas was seeing just another show of her bravery and excellence. He would see that she was the elf for him. The only elf for him. (You hear me? He's mine! So just back off fangirls!!!)

The orc was rasping instructions to the other orcs assembled in its ugly language. Its breath was putrid.

Luthien could not take that suffocating smell, nor keep her neck so still, for much longer, and tapping her foot she said tersely to the orc, "Ow. Get off you ugly smelly yrch! Your breath truly is pungently putrid and your grip is too tight, therefore, un-hand me."

The orc laughed and said, "It wants me to be gentle, does it? I apologise, your greatness, but we orcs are bein' as gentle as we know how…without cuttin yer throat."

Luthien gulped. This was it. Even if the elves did attack, there was nothing to stop the orcs from killing her instantly. She would never have a passionfruit-filled evening with He Who Is All Things Hot. Never…No! That could not happen. Lucy, who had travelled from Adelaide to Middle Earth via a book with the aim of snagging the Prince of Mirkwood and living as a beautiful immortal elf with him forever, would not let a silly muddle like murderous orcs destroy all her careful planning and dreams.

She'd show them what she was made of.

With a wild cry (Xena's actually, but they'd never know it) Luthien kicked the orc chieftain where it would hurt (she hoped- Luthien did not want to think about orcish-genitals actually, strange that) and before the others could react, she had a smelly one slain by it's own weapon and the other smelly one disarmed.

This was what the elves had been waiting for and now they fought swiftly and with deadly speed until all the orcs were slain or being pursued if they'd managed to escape.

Legolas came up to Luthien and bent his head to inspect her arm, "You are truly a brave maiden," he said, and admiration showed in his eyes. Oh kiss me now, she willed, but he simply bade her goodnight and ordered nearby elves to cleanse her wound and disappeared silently into the night. Luthien sighed romantically.