Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha...(its not nice to make me keep repeating this...)
Chapter9: The Reason For His Change
Kagome starred up at Sesshoumaru as she prayed. She was having trouble praying... because she wasn't sure what she should be praying for: for him to leave or for him to stay. Ooh, decisions, decisions.
Sesshoumaru starred down at her silent face. He didn't know how much longer he could stand there doing nothing.
"Problem,' she squeaked. Kagome had to clear her throat to continue, "What problem?"
Sesshoumaru saw the look in her eyes and gave her skeptical look. 'She couldn't possibly not know,' he said to himself in disbelief. He looked down at her thighs and what lay between them... and felt his blood boil more. Sesshoumaru slid one extended finger along the top of her thigh, making sure not to cut her with his nail, and swallowed.
"Kagome..."
Kagome felt the light touch along her leg and shivered. She knew he was waiting for her to make a choice and she could see his patience was not going to last much longer. 'What to do...'
Sesshoumaru gave a small shudder. He was trying so hard to hide the state he was in. More for him then for her, he'd never reacted to a female this way... hell, he couldn't even remember the last time he'd been attracted to a woman... youkai or ningen. He hoped she was going to make up her mind soon and give him a sign. 'Did she want me to stay or go?' he asked himself, but sadly he wasn't the one to answer that question. If she didn't hurry and make up her mind though, he would.
Kagome knew she wanted him, she understood that perfectly well, but she wasn't sure she was ready for this. She hadn't seen him in two years! This was not the time, but she didn't have the heart to send him away... he might just do it.
Sesshoumaru looked into her eyes and saw the indecision there. He forced his hand to let go of the cover and let it fall back into place. He understood she wasn't ready and tried not to be too disappointed... he knew he'd have her. Just not today. Sesshoumaru nodded at this and turned to leave the room.
Kagome watched him turn away and start to walk away... and felt a moment of panic. She shot up to a sitting position and called out his name before she'd made a conscience decision to do just that. She watched him come to a stop, but not turn to look at her. 'God, he won't even look at me...' she thought and bit her bottom lip.
"Sesshoumaru... I... Please..." she didn't know what she wanted to say; she just didn't want him to leave... not like that.
Sesshoumaru turned around to face her. He starred at her and couldn't get over her beauty. Her hair was all over her head falling across both her shoulders. He saw the worry in her eyes and wondered at it as he waited silently for her to say what she wanted to say. He was only going back to his room.
Kagome starred at him and felt a tear slip down her face. Her eyes widened at this.
Sesshoumaru tilted his head at her; her mood was confusing him. He didn't understand why she was crying.
"I... don't... I don't want you to leave," she breathed quietly. Kagome sighed as she added, "Not like this."
Kagome watched as he came back to her and held her breath; her eyes never leaving his.
Sesshoumaru leaned down when he reached her and planted his lips hard on hers. He felt her shutter as she released the breath she held into his mouth. He brought his hand up to rest at her throat and caressed her neck. Sesshoumaru pressed more firmly against her mouth causing her to lean her head back to give him better access.
Kagome sighed as she leaned back to kiss him more. She brought her hand up to rest on his cheek and was amazed at how smooth his skin was. Kagome froze when she felt the hand at her throat begin to move... downwards.
Sesshoumaru moved the hand he had at her neck and began to caress his way down. He came to a tantalizing stop when he reached the swell of her breast above her bodysuit. He marveled at the softness of her flesh as he rubbed his fingertips along the edge of the neck of her bodysuit.
Kagome felt the light touch of his fingers on her breast and trembled in pleasure. She had no idea it would feel so nice to be touched like that. Kagome squirmed to get closer to him. 'Maybe this was a good time after all' she said to herself.
Just then, Sesshoumaru began to move his hand again. He moved further downwards; trailing his fingers over the swell of her breast to the nipple. He felt the distended nipple and rubbed his palm along its surface; while never releasing her mouth from his. Sesshoumaru felt her tremble again and pulled back slightly to view her face. He wanted to see her face as she felt what she was feeling. Sesshoumaru was in pain. He could feel his body's readiness to join with hers, but he knew he wouldn't be doing that tonight. He held on tightly to his control as he observed her.
He starred at her face. Her eyes were closed and her lips were swollen from his kisses. He moved his hand lower to cup the fullness of her breast as he watched her reaction to his touch. He watched her lips part as she sucked in her breath. When he rubbed her nipple with the pad of his thumb, he watched her eyes fly open and felt her body jump with the shock of the contact. He starred into her liquid brown eyes and saw the pleasure she didn't even try to hide.
Kagome stuck out her tongue to lick her lips as she starred into his amber eyes. 'What is he doing to me?' she asked in amazement. She'd never felt this way before. Everywhere he touched her, she felt like she was on fire. It was scary in its newness, but she wasn't ready for him to stop.
"Sesshoumaru..." she whispered with a mixture of awe and fear.
Sesshoumaru heard the plea in her voice and leaned down to capture her lips with his once more. He shoved his tongue in her mouth to mate with hers before pulling back to lick her lips in the same place she'd licked just moments before. Sesshoumaru trailed his lip down to her throat and planted his mouth in the crease where her neck met her shoulder; then he suckled her neck.
Kagome sucked in her breath at the new sensation his mouth sent all across her body. She leaned her head to the side to give him better access. His hand was still cupping her breast while his thumb was still rubbing across her nipple.
Sesshoumaru licked his way back up her neck to her ear. He traced the curve of her ear with his tongue before he pressed his lips against the opening of her ear.
"You are mine Kagome and one day... very soon... we will finish this," he whispered into her ear.
Kagome shivered at the fell of his breath in her ear then sucked in her breath when she felt him squeeze her breast lightly before releasing her. Kagome opened her eyes and turned her head to stare into his amber gaze.
Sesshoumaru starred back into her brown eyes and knew he would have her. 'She is mine!' he said to himself as he looked at her. Something was bothering him though, and he had to figure that out first.
Kagome saw the same possessiveness in his eyes that she heard in his statement and felt a moment of uneasiness. 'What did he mean... 'I'm his?' she asked herself, but didn't have the guts to put the question to him.
"I'll belong to you when my heart wants to belong to you... and not a moment before," she said to him quietly. She could still feel the waves of pleasure rolling through her body that he had caused. She wondered if her heart was feeling like belonging to him already?
Kagome saw the flash of anger in his eyes before he suppressed it. She shuddered from that look, but she would not take her words back. They were true. Her body may want him, but she had to be sure her heart did too.
Sesshoumaru thought about strangling her for a moment. He did not care for her words. No one else would touch her... not as long as he had breath to breathe with. Even if he did not keep her, no one else would have her; he'd make sure of that. He would have it no other way. 'She might as well understand that now,' he thought. Not that it mattered if she understood or not; he would have his way. It would just be much easier if she agreed.
Sesshoumaru rubbed his hand against her cheek as he starred calmly at her face. He narrowed his eyes on hers as he made himself perfectly clear.
"You. Are. Mine." He shifted his eyes between both hers before turning and leaving the room.
Kagome held her breath as she watched him go. She placed her hand on her cheek where his had been as she starred at the closed door. He'd used his demon speed and was gone in a flash. She wondered how long it would be before she ended up in his bed... or he in hers. She knew it was inevitable. What she didn't know was what would happen afterwards... and whether she was going to loose her heart to her demon host.
Kagome sighed as she lay back down on her pillow and starred up at the ceiling. She stuck her tongue out to lick her lips and realized she could still taste him there. Kagome touched her fingertips to her lips and starred up at nothing. 'She had a feeling this visit was not going to be easy' she thought and turned to her side. She also had a feeling her life was not going to be the same when it was time for her to go home. She wondered if it would be for the better... or a change for the worse and sighed again. She guessed she might as well get some sleep; tomorrow was another day.
*************************************
Kagome woke up earlier then usual. She was starving! She thought about the last time she ate and realized it was yesterday afternoon when she was waiting on her host to make an appearance. 'No wonder she was so hungry' she thought and got out of bed... but first she wanted a bath, then she'd eat. Kagome had one problem though... there was no bath in her room. She remembered coming across two in her journey through the house, but she didn't think she'd be able to find either one of them again... not on purpose, anyway.
Kagome was wondering how to fix her little problem when she heard a scratching at her door.
"Come In!" she called from the bed and watched as the niko demon, Ayumi came in.
"Konnichiwa, my lady."
"Ooh, call me Kagome. 'My lady' is much too formal," Kagome smiled at the servant woman.
Kagome watched the servant smile and bow at her. She took a good look at the niko and realized she didn't look to be any older then Sesshoumaru himself. She took in the demon's long red hair and piercing blue eyes and decided the woman was very beautiful. Kagome found herself wondering again, how Ayumi came to be working for Sesshoumaru.
Ayumi watched the young miko studying her and blushed at the attention. She bowed to hide her embarrassment.
"Would you like anything, my- Kagome?" Ayumi smiled apologetically for her slip up.
Kagome smiled at her to show there was no harm done. "Actually, yes. Could you show me to a bath so I can bathe? Then I would love something to eat."
Kagome put her hand to her rumbling stomach at the last statement. She saw Ayumi smile at hearing her stomach.
"Of course, my la- Kagome. Follow me." Ayumi led Kagome out of the room, only pausing a moment for Kagome to grab her bag by the door.
"Sesshoumaru-sama said you would probably be wanting a bath and has designated the heat spring beside your room for you to use," said Ayumi as she shoved a door open.
Kagome stepped inside the room she indicated and froze in shock. She'd never seen a lovelier bathing room. There were huge decorative fans adorning the walls and along the floor was another stitching like the one in her room, but this one done in green, white and purple. It was much larger and stretched all the way across the floor in a straight line to the bathing pool. Kagome sighed in pleasure and turned to thank Ayumi.
"No thanks necessary. Sesshoumaru-sama has taken the liberty of choosing an outfit for you to wear."
Kagome looked to where the servant was pointing and froze again. There, lying on a bench, was a beautiful kimono in light blue and white with tiny pink flowers all over it, It was really beautiful, but Kagome had no intention of wearing it. She never had a liking for kimonos. Even though she found them beautiful to look at as well as to see on other people, she did not like wearing them herself. Kagome saw no reason to tell Ayumi this though and thanked her again for her help.
Ayumi bowed to her mistress and left her alone to bathe. Before leaving she told the young miko she would return when she was finished with her bath to show her to the dining area.
Kagome nodded to show she understood and waited for Ayumi to close the door behind her. When the niko demon was gone Kagome turned around and peeled the rest of her clothes off of her and stepped a foot into the water to test its temperature. When she judged the temperature to be just a little hot, but otherwise okay, she stepped fully into the water. Kagme breathed out a sigh of contentment as she sunk down to her shoulders in the water and sat on a ledge along the sides of the pool. Kagome leaned her head back in relaxation for a moment before she moved to the middle of the water to begin her bathing ritual.
Kagome sighed as she cascaded water over her shoulders. She squeezed out her orchid scented shower gel onto her loufa before she started to wash her body clean. As she ran her sponge over her breast memories of the night before flooded her mind. Kagome washed herself as her mind played over her thoughts of last night. When she absentmindedly scraped over her nipple she froze as the sensation shot through her body. Kagome starred down at herself in wonder. 'She wasn't cold, so why..." she wondered why her body was reacting in such away. 'Could just the thought of him bring my body to this state' she asked herself; bewildered. Why was she so attracted to him? Yes, she knew there was more to him then he presented to the world, but that could be true for most people. What was it that drew her to him? Kagome sighed to herself in resignation. She guessed she was not going to figure it out now.
When Kagome heard her stomach growl in hunger she giggled and hurried up with her bath. Kagome's eyes feel on the beautiful kimono lying on the bench as she climbed out of the water. Kagome wrapped a large towel around herself as she walked towards the bench that also held her bag with her own clothes inside
Kagome starred down at the kimono in thought as she pondered the idea of actually putting the beautiful garment on. With her decision made, Kagome shrugged her shoulders in curiosity and picked up the blue fabric. She put on the kimono in record time and turned to look at herself in the full-length mirror she found along the wall to the right of the bench. Kagome tilted her head to the side as she starred at her reflection. She was no longer surprised at seeing such modern things, as the mirror, in Sesshoumaru's home. She already knew he remembered her world... perfectly.
She thought of her grandmother as she starred at herself in the kimono. Her grandmother had been very fond of kimonos, the traditional style of dressing, and had taught her at a young age how to put one on. Kagome hadn't worn one since she was eight years old, when her grandmother had died. She figured her grandmother's death probably played a part in why she didn't like to wear kimonos... and the fact that she had trouble walking in them. Kagome frowned down at her incased legs and shuck her head. 'There was no way she was going to wear this for an entire day', she huffed. She could just imagine how many times her face would meet the ground... her grandmother use to get a good laugh at that.
Kagome decided there was no way she was going to fall on her face in front of Sesshoumaru and turned around to go to her bag. She pulled out her favorite turtleneck jersey dress and laid it on the bench. She took off the kimono quickly when her stomach reminded her of her hunger again, and put the jersey dress on. Kagome turned to check her reflection in the mirror once more. The dress was a deep red color with white flowers going around the hem of the dress. The dress sported a high neck and no sleeves; leaving her arms bare. Her legs were also bare because the dress only fell to mid-thigh. She was very glad she didn't grow hair on her legs much or very fast and therefore still didn't need to shave.
After brushing her hair and pulling it up into a high ponytail atop her head, Kagome stuffed the rest of her things back into her bed and sprinted to the door. In her rush, she almost ran smack into Ayumi, who was standing just outside the door with her hand out as if she was about to enter.
"Oh, mistress--"
"Kagome," Kagome chimed in with a smile. She could see she'd startled the servant girl and wanted to make amends.
"Ahh, yes... Kagome," began the servant; getting her composure back, "Are you ready to go eat breakfast now?"
At the sound of the word "breakfast", Kagome's stomach gave another growl; this one longer than the others. Kagome's eyes widened in shock as she starred into the niko demon's blue ones; which were sparkling with suppressed laughter and giggled herself.
"I think so!" Kagome smiled brightly then covered her mouth with her hand before another giggle escaped.
Ayumi nodded at her mistress as she struggled to keep her composure. She didn't know why the ningen was here. She'd always believed that Sesshoumaru-sama did not care for ningens, but she could see that he cared for this one, even if he did not realize it himself. This worried Ayumi. She'd been in love with the Lord for a few years now and she'd had some hope that perhaps he would come to notice her as more than just a loyal servant, but seeing the girl standing in front of her now, she did not think so anymore. She wanted to hate the young miko, but she couldn't. She already liked her.
Ayumi smiled at Kagome and motioned for her to follow her as she led the girl down the hall and down a pair of steps.
Kagome immediately recognized this part of the castle and smiled to herself. She just might learn her way around the huge place... before she got herself lost again, she hoped. Kagome followed Ayumi down a hall to the left of the hall that led to the garden. She knew the hall in the opposite direction of the garden led to the east part of the house and was not occupied. She made a mental note to ask Sesshoumaru about that later.
"Ayumi?" Kagome began; then asked in afterthought, "Is it alright if I call you Ayumi?"
"Of course," Ayumi smiled over her shoulder as she kept walking.
"Will Sesshoumaru be... where ever you are taking me?":
Ayumi's heart fluttered at the familiar way Kagome spoke Sesshoumaru's name. She wondered if the miko cared about her master as well... she couldn't help hoping so, for his sake.
"At the dining room?" asked Ayumi as she glanced at the young girl behind her. At Kagome's nod, she continued, "I would imagine so. I do not believe he has eaten yet. Though Sesshoumar-sama does not always eat supper, he does usually eat breakfast."
Kagome nodded at this and sighed. She'd hoped she'd have a little more time before having to face him again. He did not leave in the best of moods last night... or early this morning; she wasn't certain. Kagome guessed it couldn't be avoided; she couldn't go back to her room, she was too hungry to forgo eating and she couldn't go somewhere else to eat... she didn't have anywhere else to go. Besides she'd given her word that she wouldn't leave just yet and if she was to be completely honest with herself, she wasn't ready to leave him yet. So, she had no choice but to face him now.
Kagome decided to keep talking to take her mind off the coming confrontation.
"Ayumi?" at the servants inquiring look; Kagome continued, " You're a niko demon, right. How'd you come to be working here for Sesshoumaru?"
Ayumi knew the girl would find her presence here odd; especially after everything that happened between the nikoyoukais and the inuyoukais. She understood this, but she had given her loyalty to Sesshoumaru a long time ago... and more recently her heart. There was no way she could ever lift a finger against the Taiyoukai.
"When I was very young I'd been caught off guard in the forest by a very bad demon. He had beaten me and would have raped me as well, but Sesshoumaru-sama had come along and saved me. I've stayed by his side ever since."
Kagome sucked in her breath in horror. She could not believe the young girl had gone through such an ordeal. True, she was older than Kagome herself, but she didn't look to be more than the equivalent of a twenty-three year old human girl.
"Ayumi?" Kagome put her hand on the girls shoulder to stop her progress, "If you don't mind... how old were you then?"
The servant girl smiled to show Kagome she didn't mind her question, " I was what you would call nine years old."
Kagome's eyes widened in shocked horror; she could not even imagine what that must have been like... and at such a young age, nor did she want too. Then Kagome thought about what she said; how Sesshoumaru was the one to save her and her eyes widened even more out of surprise.
"If Sesshoumaru saved you... he couldn't have been more than nine himself..." she trailed off in horrified wonder.
"From what I was told and what I know now, Sesshoumaru-sama had just celebrated his tenth birthday a couple of days before." Ayumi sighed and peered down at her hands. She wondered if she should say what she was about to say to the girl before adding. "Sesshoumaru-sama was a different person then he is now."
"Different how?"
"He was... much more... warm then. He had a zest for life then. Now, he just... is. He doesn't live anymore. You understand?"
Kagome nodded in thought. She understood exactly what the servant girl meant. Question was: what caused Sesshoumaru's change?
"I don't suppose you know what caused such a drastic change, do you Ayumi?"
Kagome watched the shadow pass over the girl's eyes before she turned away from Kagome and began walking again. She heard the girl's whispered answer though.
"His mother's death."
Kagome's heart skipped a beat at that.
"It did not help, that his father was killed a little over a year later." Ayumi didn't know why she was telling the miko all this, she just had a feeling that maybe she was the answer they were all waiting for... the answer that would bring the Lord and his estranged brother back together. Not to mention make this old castle a home again. If the miko could do this... she would gladly give up her claim on the Taiyoukai.
Kagome could not imagine loosing her mother and felt a sad kind of respect for the Taiyoukai. She'd lost her father at an age where she was too young to remember him, but to loose both her parents... she didn't think she could have survived that. She realized he coped with the deaths the only way he knew how: by locking himself off emotionally. What had made him, in a sense, stronger would have destroyed a lesser man... her included.
"Though both deaths did a number on him, it is said it is his mothers that caused his change. There is a rumor that he was the cause of her death, but I do not believe this is so... but I don't know."
Kagome listened to this in silence. She didn't believe that Sesshoumaru killed his mother either. She couldn't. It just didn't fit with the man he tried to hide... the man who took in and cared for a human child. Kagome thought about what she just learned as she followed Ayumi down the hall.
Ayumi wondered whether Kagome believed the rumors. She had no idea though, because the miko had become very quiet. She hoped the young girl didn't. 'She can't help Sesshoumaru-sama if she does,' Ayumi said to herself in fear.
Kagome entered a pair of double doors and thanked the servant for showing her the way. She'd been starring at the floor, but looked up as the doors shut behind her. She saw Sesshoumaru sitting at the head of the table. He was starring down into his empty plate apparently lost in thought. Kagome stood there and waited for him to acknowledge her presence in the room. After what she'd just been told by Ayumi, she no longer dreaded eating with the Taiyoukai. Now she had to fight from running across the room and flinging her arms around his neck. The fact that she knew he would not appreciate or welcome the embrace stopped her.
Sesshoumaru glanced up when he smelled her scent in the room. He'd already sensed her approach and was wondering what was taking her so long. He could not hear through the heavy oak wood doors. For a moment he thought she was going to run back to her room so she would not have to face him, but did not sense her smell retreating. So, he'd sat waiting; which he didn't like. He wasn't a very patient person so he was not good at waiting.
When Sesshoumaru glanced up at the door. He did an inward double-take. 'She looked beautiful!' he exclaimed to himself. Granted he did not care for all the skin she was showing, but he had to admit the garment she wore showed off her curves far better then the kimono he'd chosen for her ever would have. The outfit molded to her curves without being tight or constricting, he assessed. Sesshoumaru had to swallow to keep from jumping her then motioned for her to take a seat.
Kagome moved to the chair to his right and took a seat.
"Good morning to you too, Sesshoumaru," she said to him pleasantly; a frown belying her true feelings.
He figured she found his silence to be rude. So, what? Sesshoumaru shrugged in answer.
"What would you like to eat?" he asked her quietly; face as still as always.
Kagome took in the icy look on his face; seeing him with a whole new pair of eyes. At that moment, Kagome made a vow: she would not leave until she helped him learn to live again... no matter how long it took.
Sesshoumaru saw the scrutinizing look she was giving him and wondered at it. Something was bothering her, he realized. 'She will tell me what is bothering her before she leaves the table,' he decided to himself.
"Ramen will do," said Kagome averting her eyes to her plate, " and some fruit, please."
Sesshoumaru nodded and in a few seconds a servant came out carrying a huge bowl of ramen, a similar bowl of fruit, some juice, and a pitcher of water on a tray. The servant silently set the items on the table then at a discreet nod from the Taiyoukai, just as silently quit the room.
Kagome packed her plate and immediately tore into the food. She couldn't believe how hungry she was and sighed with true happiness.
Sesshoumaru watched silently as the girl devoured the food. He'd never imagined she could eat so much. He smiled inwardly at her apparent hunger. He liked watching her. He was never sure what she would say or do next... that intrigued him.
Twenty minutes and two helpings of both fruit and ramen later, Kagome sat back and released a breath. She patted her stomach in contentment and felt the slight curve. She didn't care though, she was content... and stuffed! She closed her eyes and gave a small smile before turning to look at the Taiyoukai. She saw the gleam in his golden eyes and flushed in embarrassment.
"I guess I was really hungry," she smiled sheepishly.
"Indeed."
He wanted to laugh, but the thought was as foreign to him as the motion was.
Kagome rolled her eyes at him then noticed his empty plate. Still empty plate and inquired after it.
"I ate before you arrived here," he shrugged. True, he'd only had some fruit, but he saw no reason to tell her this. He was a youkai, food was a pleasure not a need.
"Oh," Kagome said and blushed more. She guessed he was telling her she'd taken too long. She looked down at her hands folded in her lap and fell quiet.
Sesshoumaru observed her quietly for a few minutes before deciding to get to why she was so bothered today. He sensed a sadness coming from her. He didn't see what she had to be sad about...angry, yes, but not sad.
"What?"
Kagome jumped at his soft-spoken word. She'd not expected it. She still couldn't get what Ayumi had told her out of her head. Now that she'd gotten food within her stomach, the servant's words had come back to her.
Kagome looked up at him and saw the look on his face. She figured he could since her uneasiness... and her sadness. 'Damn demon powers!' She did not want to bring it up so soon... she wanted to see if she could learn more first.
"Nothing," she tried to shrug it off. Not that she believed he was going to let that go... not for a moment.
"Tell me."
She heard the demand in his voice though he did not raise his voice at all. 'She really had to learn how to do that', she thought.
Kagome sighed heavily. She knew he wasn't going to let it go until she told him what was on her mind.
"Ayumi told me of your mothers death," she whispered; eyes on her hands again.
Sesshoumaru lifted his brow at her. He didn't see why his mother's death would cause such deep sadness.
"Yes. She died giving birth to me. Why does this cause you to be sad? Its a fact I, myself, do not remember her."
Kagome lifted her head in shocked disbelief. 'How could that be? Ayumi said...' she asked herself. 'Did she misunderstand the servant girl', she wondered.
"Why the disbelief Kagome? Did you not just say you were told of her death by Ayumi?"
"Yes, but..." she shuck her head at him as she trailed off.
"But what?"
"But she said... She said that rumors said you were the cause of your mother's death. I guess it could be construed that way if she died giving birth...but--"
"No if. That is how she died."
"But..." Kagome began. Something wasn't right. Ayumi had told her that Sesshoumaru's mother's death had caused his change in character, which happened after he'd saved the servant girl's life. 'So... maybe Ayumi wasn't speaking of his birth mother', she thought. Did Sesshoumaru have another mother?
"What?" he asked again at seeing the changing expressions going across her face.
"Well... the mother Ayumi spoke of seemed to have died after you were already born. In fact you were pass the age of ten... for a human child," Kagome sighed and looked at him. She was confused.
If Kagome hadn't looked up just then she would have missed the shadow cross his face. Kagome went still. 'Oh, this is bad... really bad'
Sesshoumaru should have known she was not speaking of his birth mother since Ayumi was the one who told her of the death. Ayumi was not in his household when his birth mother died, though he did not doubt that the niko servant knew of the event of his birth. It was common knowledge after all. No, she was speaking of the other mother. He would have to speak to Ayumi about her talking! It was a house rule that no one spoke of that incident... ever.
He guessed this meant Kagome was told he'd killed her as well. He wondered what she thought of that. Not that it mattered; it was true. He was responsible for her death. His eyes hardened unknowingly as he focused on the young miko.
"What of it?"
Kagome flinched from the hardness in his eyes and voice. She wondered why he was so angry all of a sudden. 'If he didn't want to talk about it, why didn't he just say so?'
"So, you had another mother?" Kagome took his silence for a 'yes' and continued "They say you are the reason for her death. Like you killed her."
"What do you think?" he asked out of curiosity. He would not admit, even to himself, how important her answer to this question was.
Kagome starred at him for a moment. She took in everything she knew of him and everything she believed of him. While she knew he was capable of killing, she could not believe he would kill his mother. He hadn't really used Inuyasha's mother's soul against Inuyasha. 'Oh, my God!! Could his second mother and Inuyasha's be one and the same?' Kagome swallowed hard at that thought, but she still didn't believe he could have killed her. Not if her death bothered him so much to cause such a change in him. Besides it didn't fit with the man who gave her such heart stopping kisses and cared for a little girl with no family left. It just didn't fit.
"I think..." Kagome looked up to look him straight in the eyes. She wanted him to be sure that what she was saying was true, "I think, no, I believe you didn't kill her... and before you try to make me believe otherwise, save it! I won't believe you."
Sesshoumaru watched her for a moment and felt a weight lift from his chest. He was not going to analyze what the feeling was or what it meant. Not now, while he was still sitting there with her. He could see she believed what she said. He silently got to his feet and looked down on her before speaking.
"Believe what you will," he shrugged. "It makes it no less true."
He watched her eyes widened in shock then harden in anger. He could see she did not believe a word he said. He couldn't do anything about that and shrugged again then quietly left her alone at the table.
Kagome felt a tear slide down her cheek before she wiped it away. She didn't know what new game he was playing at, but she was not going to believe he killed his mother. She could see that he believed it though. Kagome knew she was falling in love with him and she could not believe the man she was falling for could do such a thing. 'I won't believe it!' She was going to find out what really happened to his mother. She had a feeling the woman's death played a part in the feud between him and Inuyasha.
"I know you didn't do it Sesshoumaru," she whispered aloud to the empty dining room as she wiped at the tears that started to come from her eyes again.