Title: Catch of the Day
Author: Dala
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: eventual Jack/Will, Jack/many others, off-screen (errr, off-fic?) Elizabeth/Norrington) -- slash and het, I'm an equal opportunist when it comes to Captain Jack Sparrow
Disclaimer: The characters and situations of this fanfic belong to Disney & Co.
Titles come from "Matchmaker, Matchmaker" from "Fiddler on the Roof," lyrics and music by "Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick
~~~~~~~~
It was as they were having dinner on her first night aboard the Pearl that Elizabeth told Jack he needed to "find someone."
He and Will looked at each other in confusion. "Find someone to do what, Lizzie? I've got a full crew at the moment."
"No," she said impatiently, describing an arc in the air with one hand, "*someone*, you know – a *special* someone."
Jack continued to stare at her. "Special how?" he asked, nibbling on a hard roll. "Good with knives, cutlass, pistol, rigging, petticoats...?"
"Special to *you*," said Elizabeth. "A significant other."
Will got it then and shook his head, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Good luck with that, Elizabeth."
"Will one of you please explain what in hell you're talking about?" Jack demanded.
Elizabeth sighed. Men were impossibly dense when it came to matters of the heart. "What I am saying, Jack, is that you need to find a – a mate. Not a first mate, mind."
Jack's fork clattered onto his plate. "Whatever for?!"
"To share things with! To love and cherish for all the rest of your days –"
"Ignore her," Will advised. "It's only because she's getting married. She wants to drag you down with her."
Elizabeth kicked him under the table. "It is *not*," she hissed. "I'm trying to help."
Jack tried to reason with her. "Now see here, lass, I'm not on the lookout for –"
"And as if it would ever work," said Will, clearly feeling as though he and Jack were on a united front against Elizabeth and that they had already declared victory. Jack, however, shot him a vaguely offended look.
"What's wrong with Jack?" Elizabeth wanted to know.
"Yes, what's wrong with Jack?" the subject of their debate parroted indignantly.
Will attempted to backtrack, seeing the threads of the conversation unravel. "I didn't say there was anything *wrong* with him, I only meant – "
"Jack is a good catch," Elizabeth insisted. "He's charming and handsome –"Jack grinned, pleased, and brushed his fingers over the back of her palm; she smacked at his hand and flashed her engagement ring at him. Jack cast what was merely the latest of a series of longing glances at the large diamond. "– and he's his own businessman –"
"He's a *pirate*," Will corrected.
"He's still self-employed. And believe you me, I'm not the only girl who finds a certain degree of piracy mysterious and attractive."
Jack twirled one half of his mustache, enjoying this immensely. "The wench has a point, William," he said with a wink for each of them. "Several, in fact."
Elizabeth shot Will a "see there!" look, not even objecting to the 'w' word she detested, and he rolled his eyes to the ceiling. Leave it to Jack to side with Elizabeth on the rare ocassion when she decided to employ her feminine wiles. Will himself had discovered, some weeks after the affair with Barbossa and the curse, that he much preferred her with a sword or pistol in hand. He had been delighted to have her aboard for a leisurely cruise around various ports in the Caribbean – she claimed it was her last test for Norrington, letting her sail alone with Jack and Will, and Will could only imagine what sort of wheedling and bargaining that agreement had involved. Nevertheless, here she was, on what she had taken to calling her final maiden voyage, and Will suddenly had a very bad feeling about how the rest of the journey was going to go.
"I've made a decision," Jack announced theatrically with a sidelong glance at Will. "Elizabeth..." He indicated her with a sweeping arm. "If you can find me a suitable person, I will make with the wooing, and we shall see what happens."
"Shake on it," Elizabeth said.
He nodded gravely and obeyed. Will looked down at their joined hands and muttered, "This cannot end well."
~~~~~~~~
Still to come (not in the next chapter, but eventually): Elizabeth tries out a female pirate, a beautiful prostitute, an ugly prostitute, a well-born lady, a merchant with some rather creepy attributes, some random sailors...why don't any of them seem to take?! Meanwhile, Will alternately seethes and smirks in triumph, and he also practices waltzing with Jack. High times ahead.
Author: Dala
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: eventual Jack/Will, Jack/many others, off-screen (errr, off-fic?) Elizabeth/Norrington) -- slash and het, I'm an equal opportunist when it comes to Captain Jack Sparrow
Disclaimer: The characters and situations of this fanfic belong to Disney & Co.
Titles come from "Matchmaker, Matchmaker" from "Fiddler on the Roof," lyrics and music by "Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick
~~~~~~~~
It was as they were having dinner on her first night aboard the Pearl that Elizabeth told Jack he needed to "find someone."
He and Will looked at each other in confusion. "Find someone to do what, Lizzie? I've got a full crew at the moment."
"No," she said impatiently, describing an arc in the air with one hand, "*someone*, you know – a *special* someone."
Jack continued to stare at her. "Special how?" he asked, nibbling on a hard roll. "Good with knives, cutlass, pistol, rigging, petticoats...?"
"Special to *you*," said Elizabeth. "A significant other."
Will got it then and shook his head, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Good luck with that, Elizabeth."
"Will one of you please explain what in hell you're talking about?" Jack demanded.
Elizabeth sighed. Men were impossibly dense when it came to matters of the heart. "What I am saying, Jack, is that you need to find a – a mate. Not a first mate, mind."
Jack's fork clattered onto his plate. "Whatever for?!"
"To share things with! To love and cherish for all the rest of your days –"
"Ignore her," Will advised. "It's only because she's getting married. She wants to drag you down with her."
Elizabeth kicked him under the table. "It is *not*," she hissed. "I'm trying to help."
Jack tried to reason with her. "Now see here, lass, I'm not on the lookout for –"
"And as if it would ever work," said Will, clearly feeling as though he and Jack were on a united front against Elizabeth and that they had already declared victory. Jack, however, shot him a vaguely offended look.
"What's wrong with Jack?" Elizabeth wanted to know.
"Yes, what's wrong with Jack?" the subject of their debate parroted indignantly.
Will attempted to backtrack, seeing the threads of the conversation unravel. "I didn't say there was anything *wrong* with him, I only meant – "
"Jack is a good catch," Elizabeth insisted. "He's charming and handsome –"Jack grinned, pleased, and brushed his fingers over the back of her palm; she smacked at his hand and flashed her engagement ring at him. Jack cast what was merely the latest of a series of longing glances at the large diamond. "– and he's his own businessman –"
"He's a *pirate*," Will corrected.
"He's still self-employed. And believe you me, I'm not the only girl who finds a certain degree of piracy mysterious and attractive."
Jack twirled one half of his mustache, enjoying this immensely. "The wench has a point, William," he said with a wink for each of them. "Several, in fact."
Elizabeth shot Will a "see there!" look, not even objecting to the 'w' word she detested, and he rolled his eyes to the ceiling. Leave it to Jack to side with Elizabeth on the rare ocassion when she decided to employ her feminine wiles. Will himself had discovered, some weeks after the affair with Barbossa and the curse, that he much preferred her with a sword or pistol in hand. He had been delighted to have her aboard for a leisurely cruise around various ports in the Caribbean – she claimed it was her last test for Norrington, letting her sail alone with Jack and Will, and Will could only imagine what sort of wheedling and bargaining that agreement had involved. Nevertheless, here she was, on what she had taken to calling her final maiden voyage, and Will suddenly had a very bad feeling about how the rest of the journey was going to go.
"I've made a decision," Jack announced theatrically with a sidelong glance at Will. "Elizabeth..." He indicated her with a sweeping arm. "If you can find me a suitable person, I will make with the wooing, and we shall see what happens."
"Shake on it," Elizabeth said.
He nodded gravely and obeyed. Will looked down at their joined hands and muttered, "This cannot end well."
~~~~~~~~
Still to come (not in the next chapter, but eventually): Elizabeth tries out a female pirate, a beautiful prostitute, an ugly prostitute, a well-born lady, a merchant with some rather creepy attributes, some random sailors...why don't any of them seem to take?! Meanwhile, Will alternately seethes and smirks in triumph, and he also practices waltzing with Jack. High times ahead.