-Chapter 14: Going Under-
Authors Note: Contains graphic descriptions. Viewer discression advised.
Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still wont hear me
(Going Under)
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again
"So, Mr. Gordon, when did the dreams start?" Mr. Ianzito, the school guidance councilor asked me. Somehow Parker had gotten me here. I'll give that girl credit, she's good. "The night Lizzie died," I told him. "And they've been the same every night?" he asked me. I nodded. "Always the same. Lizzie and Miranda both in my room, we're talking and laughing and putting off some English project, just like old times. It's a bright, sunny, Californian December day and life is great. Then everything fades to black and things begin to play out like in the opening credits of Ginger Snaps. Constant death scenes. Only inside of the randomness like in the opening credits, there's Miranda, under the wheel of a truck. Blood pouring out of her mouth, bones exposed from where they've been crushed, and veins sticking out of her face, because the circulation has been cut off. She's also lacking a right eye. And then there's Lizzie, laying on the floor with a bullet hole going through her stomach. Blood's pouring out, and her insides are shattered. Then she opens her eyes and gives me the finger. They both tell me they hate me.
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
"Then I'm sitting in the middle of the road, and rain is pouring down. I can't breath because there's so much. It's like I'm drowning. Then a voice says '50 thousand tears I've cried' Then the first part replays, only I'm behind the wheel of the truck, and I'm holding the gun. I killed them."
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
"You didn't kill them, you just feel guilty for some reason. Do you have any idea why?" Mr. Ianzito asked. This was going no where. "Because I should have seen it coming!" I yelled.
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
That night I sat alone in my room. My parents were downstairs. To far away to do anything. And I, I was drowning in guilt.
So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I wont be broken again
I've got to breath I can't keep going under
I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a knife. "Lets get crazy," I said under my breath.
Authors Note: Contains graphic descriptions. Viewer discression advised.
Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still wont hear me
(Going Under)
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again
"So, Mr. Gordon, when did the dreams start?" Mr. Ianzito, the school guidance councilor asked me. Somehow Parker had gotten me here. I'll give that girl credit, she's good. "The night Lizzie died," I told him. "And they've been the same every night?" he asked me. I nodded. "Always the same. Lizzie and Miranda both in my room, we're talking and laughing and putting off some English project, just like old times. It's a bright, sunny, Californian December day and life is great. Then everything fades to black and things begin to play out like in the opening credits of Ginger Snaps. Constant death scenes. Only inside of the randomness like in the opening credits, there's Miranda, under the wheel of a truck. Blood pouring out of her mouth, bones exposed from where they've been crushed, and veins sticking out of her face, because the circulation has been cut off. She's also lacking a right eye. And then there's Lizzie, laying on the floor with a bullet hole going through her stomach. Blood's pouring out, and her insides are shattered. Then she opens her eyes and gives me the finger. They both tell me they hate me.
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
"Then I'm sitting in the middle of the road, and rain is pouring down. I can't breath because there's so much. It's like I'm drowning. Then a voice says '50 thousand tears I've cried' Then the first part replays, only I'm behind the wheel of the truck, and I'm holding the gun. I killed them."
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
"You didn't kill them, you just feel guilty for some reason. Do you have any idea why?" Mr. Ianzito asked. This was going no where. "Because I should have seen it coming!" I yelled.
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
That night I sat alone in my room. My parents were downstairs. To far away to do anything. And I, I was drowning in guilt.
So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I wont be broken again
I've got to breath I can't keep going under
I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a knife. "Lets get crazy," I said under my breath.