A/N: OK, OK, I'm sorry it took so long to post this and that it's so short, but I just want to get something out to prove that I'm still here and plan to finish this thing. I'm introducing a new villain, who's not so new, but way out of character, and I apologize for that. If you're still foolish enough to think that little ol' me owns any of these characters, rest assured I don't.

MR GALLO GOES TO WASHINGTON

Based on characters created by Steven Levitan

Nina Van Horn strolled off the elevator, a wide, satisfied smile on her face.

"Well," she said proudly, "I've finally done it."

"What's that, Nina?" Dennis asked, not looking up from his letter, "Slept with the seaboard?"

"No," she answered seriously, "But I'm working on that."

She reached into her bag and pulled out a videotape. "I finally made that TV spot."

"For what?"

"For Jack. It's an ad for the campaign."

Dennis picked up the tape, a standard black vhs cassette, and studied it.

"Well?" Nina asked, "Aren't you going to show it to Jack?"

"In a minute. Right now, he's playing with a new toy."

"Dennis!"

Nodding at Nina to excuse himself, Dennis entered the office summoned by the call of his boss.

"You wanted me, Jack?"

"Yes, Dennis, help me with this." Jack Gallo was holding before him a belt that was connected to a series of thin white wires and a large black box.

"What is it?"

"They call it the..." he picked up an open box on his desk and read it, "...ElectroBlaster AbTightener."

Walking up to Jack, Dennis took the belt and fastened it around Jack's waist as he explained.

"It's one of those things that uses tiny electric impulses to tighten your abs while you work, just sitting at your desk. I saw it one night in an infomercial. It's amazing."

"Yeah, it certainly is," Finch told him, a look of certain disbelief on his face as Jack sat behind his desk, arms up in the air to allow the belt to move freely.

"See? Now, all I have to do is adjust the intensity of the charge..." Taking the black box, he studied the first dial, thinking out loud, "...One through ten, let's see...I do need to tighten up before the debate tonight...I think we'll pick ten."

"Whoa, there, hold up, Mister Franklin," Dennis warned him, "Maybe you should start lower on the dial."

"Don't worry, Dennis," Jack assured him, "It says here in the instructions that it is one hundred percent safe. Now, we just adjust the rate of impulses...and..."

There was a low humming and the belt began to slowly twitch around his waist. Jack sat for a moment, then turned his head and smiled at Dennis, who's expression told him he still wasn't convinced.

"Now, see, Dennis? Isn't it great? Now I can work on my six pack and still work. Isn't it..."

Suddenly the low hum became an angry buzz. Enough time passed to allow a worried expression to cross Jack's face, then, before Dennis' eyes, Jack's head began to pound against the desk. Bam...bam...bam...

"Something wrong, Jack?"

"No"...bam..."not"...bam..."For God's"...bam..."Dennis"...bam..."stop this"...bam..."crazy thing!"

About that time, Nina walked in.

"Jack, I was just..."

She paused in mid sentence, stood and stared a moment at Jack beating his head against the top of his desk, then said, "What's he doing?"

"Working out," Dennis answered.

"Ah."

Bam..."DENNIS!"...bam...

It was now noon, and Stewie was no closer to the goal assigned to him by his boss than he'd been when he'd begun. Yes, there was dirt to be had on Jack Gallo, plenty. Countless marriages, affairs, etc., but Cal couldn't use any of it. Clinton had proven that infidelity wasn't necessarily a disqualifying factor, and besides, none of this was a secret. Everyone knew Jack Gallo had yet to have a successful marriage, and his wandering eye was usually the well-publicized cause, with the notable exception of his last one, to that Allie, the one whose apartment they'd foolishly tried to burglarize. As for business dealings, there were some that bordered on 'illegal', but none clearly so, and it was a given that any successful businessman usually used underhanded means to succeed, so there was no bomb there, either. They might try to do something with it, create a scandal maybe, but that was just...

The phone rang.

"Berkeley for Congress."

"I hear you're looking for something on Jack Gallo and his daughter."

Stewie straightened up in his chair. The voice was slow and monotone, and knew too much.

"Maybe. So?"

"So, maybe I have something on both of them."

"So maybe you do. What do you want?"

"Money."

"I'll have to see it first."

"OK." The monotone voice sounded like it emerged from a moron. He was definitely an amateur in the blackmail game. No pro would have readily agreed to show his hand without a price quote at least. The voice went on, "Meet me in the Blush parking garage tonight at six p.m.."

"How will I know you?"

"Oh, don't worry. I'll find you."

The other end hung up and Stewie did the same, a warm feeling beginning in his heart.

The man on the other end hung the phone up and looked around to see if anyone else saw him on it. If they did they didn't pay any attention to him.

He'd show them. He'd show that pompous jackass Gallo and his holier than thou daughter that he was there, and no longer a man to be trifled with. He'd had it with being ignored by them all, made fun of, picked on. In one fell swoop, Jack, Maya and Elliot would all be ruined and Nina...ah, beautiful Nina...she'd be so sorry she'd spurned him all this time. That would leave that smirking Dennis Finch, and he had plans for him that would be slow and painful. In the end they'd all remember...and fear...the man they knew only as that tall fool from the mailroom.

Kevin laughed to himself as he boarded the elevator. What was it the Joker had said? Oh, yeah.

Wait'll they get a load of me.