Chapter 7. The Squeak of Terror!!!!

10:15pm…. Inside the dumpster next to the BURNING REMAINS of the NEWSTATION. Downtown Lemur City.

            "Owwwww!!!!" My head. My whole body is killing me!!!!  What the fuck did I do to deserve THIS?!?!?

            "Are you finally over it?!"

            "Over WHAT, BAKA!?!"

            "Your retarded-ass high."  Duo replied.  "You were REEEEEEEEALLY FUCKED up."

            "Who? Me?" Heero shook his head, but it was STILL dark.  "What do you mean!!!" he grunted.  "I can't see shit!!!" I feel weird….  I feel hungry…. I feel………….MY bare ASS??!! "Baka!!!  What's going on?!!?"

            Duo released a sigh, "Oh, you'll see…." Duo stood up, lifting the dumpster lid. He quickly climbed out and awaited Heero's departure.  "Well?"

            Heero poked the top of his messy head out of the dumpster.  "Uhm…  Duo….  I'm naked."  He stammered.  "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"  He shouted.

            Duo gestured, taking a few steps back.  "Hey!  DON'T LOOK AT ME!  I was the one trying to keep your clothes ON!!!"

            Heero stood up out of the dumpster, covering himself with copy paper.  He yelled, "WHAT did you put in the herbs??!!"

            Duo laughed, "The herbs… are for 'healing' purposes—ONLY when SMOKED!!!" He quoted from his sources,  "'If you eat the Lemur City herbs MIXED—it'll fuck a person up way worse than the uhh... regular brand---- At least, that's what I was told."

            Heero recalled stuffing the strange plant life down his throat--- before everything afterward went blank. He yelled again, "W-well, why didn't you stop me from eating them!!!?"

            Duo admitted, "Because your angst-ridden ass snatched the 'herbs' from me and ate them! You COW!"

            "Hn…."  Heero groaned.  He turned to climb out of the dumpster. "Let's just get out of here before this situation gets more awkward."

 Suddenly a draft blew by, and the would-be paper clothing flew away, revealing Heero's ass.

 Heero cringed.  This is SO embarrassing.

Fortunately, Duo had his head turned, but he had an idea of what happened, when the sheet of paper landed in front of him. "Sucks, to be you, don't it?"

            Heero snapped, "Just… shut-up, baka and give me that paper!"

CRASH!!!

            Duo and Heero looked towards the City Hall Gates.  Two guys went flying into through the gates ---along with a Harpoon Gun.

            "What the dude?!?!"  Duo and Heero uttered.

            They hurried towards the gates, when suddenly, they heard…

They heard….

            Squeaking….

(squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak….)

            Constant squeaking sounding from the wall the two guys flew from.

            "What on earth is that?"  Heero mouthed….. still holding his covering up.

            Duo held his hand towards his ear, "WAIT!  I recognize that sound…..  like someone wearing vinyl…."

            Heero rolled his eyes, "Oh, now, look who's the Freak Nasty… YOU'D KNOW!"

            Duo tugged at his paper covering, "Shut-up, Naked Boy! Before I rip it!"  He hurried towards the destroyed wall.

            Suddenly the source revealed himself.

            A tall, vinyl-clad maniac stepped out of the devastated hole in the wall, harpoon in hand.  Duo froze as the Unibanged Stranger turned to look at him.

            "DUDE!!! That's ONE BITCHIN' OUTFIT---- UH……" Duo gasped when he saw that the Vinyl Freak got ready to swing the harpoon towards his head.  "AAAAYh!!!"

            Suddenly Heero stepped in front of Duo and caught the harpoon with his hands.  The Tall Creep released the harpoon and snatched the paper that covered Heero.  (SWIPE!)

            "That's fucking DIRTY!!!" Heero growled as he covered himself. "Hn!!!"

            The Mean Tall Guy shoved Heero aside with his foot sending his bare ass rolling across the street. The Brown-Haired Sadist, then, picked up the harpoon and got ready to impale Duo with it.  (Squeeeeeeak!!!)

Duo took out his handgun and fired at him chest several times. The Vinyl Villain twirled the large harpoon in front of him ---shielding himself from the hail of bullets.  Some of the bullets bounced back and grazed Duo.  The Braided Merc fell to the ground and hollered in pain, "Crap MAN!!!" 

The Silent Killer wielded the harpoon over his head ready to smash Duo---

            BOM!!! A giant harpoon gun smashed into the creep's back and knocked him into the ground. (SQUEAK-THUD!)

            Duo looked towards the City Hall Gates and saw that the two guys were probably the ones who had just saved his life…..

            Speaking of ass, Heero had just recovered some newspaper and duct tape to cover himself.  "Hey!  This crap IS good for something!"

            Duo glared back at Heero and yelled, "You asshole!!!  I was about to get killed and YOU were shopping for body wrapping?!?!"

            Heero shrugged, "I figured you had things covered."  He admitted, "BESIDES, I don't favor the idea of wrestling and tussling with other guys BUCK-ASS naked."

            Duo stood up and reloaded his weapon, "Oh really?!  (I couldn't tell from back at the station….)" he muttered under his breath.

            "WHAT did you say!?!" Heero shouted.

            Duo walked off, "Oh, nothing…nothing at all (with your freakish-ass birthmark….)"

            "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU----"

            "AHEM!!!" Quatre and Wufei approached Duo halfway and introduced themselves.  Duo did the same.

            He pointed towards the half naked Fellow Mercenary and stated, "The exhibitionist over there is actually MY superior: Heero Yuy."

            "Uh… Charmed!" Quatre nudged Wufei and whispered, "Is it just me, or do they look A LOT like our 1st and 2nd Snipers?"

(Author's note: Read GWEpt 1)

            Wufei sighed, "Well, they say I look like the Chief of Police… "

            (Author's note: Read GWEpt2)

            Duo interrupted the small talk by pointing towards Trowa's fallen form.  "So, who's Mr. Squeaks…? Friend of yours?"

            Wufei snorted, crossing his arms, "Well, according to me: NO!" 

            Quatre lowered his head and sighed, "He used to be a decent person.  He's our friend."

            "Your friend? Decent people don't go running around, looking like they visited a bondage chamber!" Heero commented.

            Wufei returned, coldly, "WELL, DECCENT people ALSO don't go running around looking like they just left a HEDONISM resort, EITHER!"

            Quatre was quite humored by Wu-Wu's remark. He was also surprised that the Solitary Nag defended Trowa, even in his current condition.

            Meanwhile Duo was laughing his ass off…

"That…. was…. low." Heero growled. He strolled off, paper and duct tape secured.

Seeing that Heero's attempt at friendliness was a complete FAILURE, Duo decided to break the ice:

 "So, uh… what's your deal? You must be pretty tough--- y'know flying through walls, dealing with Bondage Boy over there."

            Wufei snapped, "Fool!  We are NO ordinary civilian weaklings!!!"

            Quatre toughened up and added, "That's right! I'm a member of the Lemur City Police Special Force: The Preventers!" He motioned over to his superior and continued, "Wufei is also a member of the Preventers!"

Wufei confirmed, "It is I who should be the one asking the questions here: Now, WHO do YOU represent?"

            Heero grunted.  Gawd, he's an asshole.

Duo jolted. Wow!  What an asshole!

            "Fair enough. We were hired by Parasol to eliminate the zombies and collect data."  Heero stated bluntly.

            Duo blurted for NO reason, "Chicks like my hair! It drives them wild!!!"

            Quatre and Wufei blinked. Where did THAT come from??!

            Even Heero stared at Duo for the random outburst of foolishness….

            SOMEONE had to change the subject and ignore Duo.

"Don't give me that BULLSHIT!" Wufei shouted.  "Parasol is who made these zombies, that big freak running around, and possibly brainwashed Trowa over…."  He and the others looked to where Trowa was SUPPOSED to be lying at. 

            But he was gone!!!

"Oh shit…."

Duo exclaimed, "HOW the HELL did we NOT hear him!!!!?"

            "GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!!!" Sounded the ARCHFIEND from afar!!!

            "You've seen him, too?!?!"  Duo asked Wufei.

            "I saw him WAY before we came across Trowa."

            "Hn." Heero announced, "It makes no difference to me whether you trust us or not.  We're mercenaries.  As long as the money's good I could give a fuck about who we're doing the job for." He took a glance down and admitted, "However, I could go for some form of clothing, so I'm gonna focus on that for the time being."  He snatched a shotgun from Duo's backpack and headed towards the hole in the wall.

            "Hey!  Nudist Yuy! Where are you going!  The trolley is this way!!!"  Duo called out revealing more plot to the story (the DORK!!!).  "Uh... oops!"

            Heero turned around and said, "We passed by a clothing store on the way here. I can't go running around like this…. I'm checking the place out."

            Quatre gasped, "Oh my gosh!!! Rashid and the remaining Maguanats?!? I left my bodyguards there!!!" He came to a solution and stated, "I know!!! I'll go with Mr. Yuy!"

            "Hn?"

            Wufei nodded, "Fine, I'm heading to the trolley.  If my theory is correct, we'll have to do some complicated, senseless, and utterly STUPID things to get the trolley to operate. We'll meet around 12."  He pushed past Duo and ordered, "Let's go, Maxwell."

            Duo was still puzzled, "Uhm… okay!"