A/N: I can hear it now. 'Dear lord, he's back!' Yep, he is and he's ready to kick it up a notch again. Once more into the breach, dear friends, as we follow Jack Gallo and company on their race for D.C. Ready, set...whoops, hold on, just forgot. Please make sure your seatbelts are fastened, all seatbacks and tray tables are in their upright positions and the fact that I do not own any of these characters is in your minds. Now then, time to rock and roll, dudes...
MR GALLO GOES TO WASHINGTON
Based on characters created by Steven Levitan
James Greaves took his position at the center podium and looked over the two men before him. So, he thought to himself, this is what American politics has descended to, huh? Dear God, help us all.
To Greaves' left, Congressman Cal Berkeley looked across his eyes at Jack Gallo, who stood at his podium and gave a vapid smile to Greaves and the audience at home. Man, they weren't kidding. This guy's head's as empty as a buffet display at a supermodel convention.
"We'll begin this evening with opening statements from each candidate, beginning with the incumbent, Congressman Berkeley."
Berkeley turned on the thousand watt smile and aimed it directly at the nearest camera.
"Thank you, Mister Greaves. Good evening, my friends.
"Tonight, I again come to humbly ask you to once again support me in my effort to return to Washington and to continue to represent you in our nation's capital as I have for the past years.
"My friends, the job is not done. There is so much more work to do, especially in times such as these..."
Across the stage, Jack gazed over at Berkeley. Jesus, look at this guy. He's Conan freakin' O'Brien! Tall, lanky, that ridiculous red hair, it was like running against Howdy Doody.
Suddenly, he felt something in his right pocket. Reaching in, he withdrew a packet of rubber banded index cards.
Maya had slipped them into his pocket just before going out onto the stage. Looking over at her, she smiled and waved at him.
Most of the cards were bits of information culled from magazines about issues she felt would help him during the debate. As he flipped through, he came to the last card. It had only one thing written on it.
"Perhaps most of all," it said, "Remember this. 'To thyne own self be true'. Good luck, dad."
"...Thank you my friends."
"And thank you, Congressman," Greaves told him, turning to Jack, "And now his challenger, Mr. Jack Gallo..."
He looked up and over once more at Maya, who stood smiling at him from off stage beside Dennis. He returned the smile and mouthed 'thank you, pumpkin', then turned to face the camera.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I am not a perfect man. As a businessman, I believe that the best way to convince the consumer to get behind a product, be it a magazine or a politician, they have got to know what's in it. The ingredients, if you will. So, before we begin, I want to let you know the ingredients that make up Jack Gallo."
"Oh, god," Elliot moaned, "He's lost it."
Dennis shook his head. "No, no, man. Just watch him work."
"What you have before you is Jack Gallo. I have been married five times, each ending in various degrees of nastiness that I, for the most part, deserved. My final marriage was to a woman who was young enough to be my daughter, and was, in fact, a classmate of my oldest daughter.
"The relationship with my oldest daughter, Maya, has only recently matured to the level where it earns the name. While I continue to make grave mistakes, including recently, I only hope that Maya forgives me my trespasses and knows that I love her and that I'm learning from these mistakes with my youngest daughter, Hannah.
"As I said before, I am in no way perfect. I have made mistakes. In fact, you might say that with the exception of my two children, my life is a case of reeling from one mistake to the next. I drink an occasional cocktail, enjoy a good cigar, a warm poker hand, beautiful women, doughnuts and playing New Orleans jazz on my banjo. Put all these together and you get Jack Gallo, candidate for congress.
"Now that you know who you are voting for, you now need to know what your voting for..."
Sniff, sniff "That was beautiful. I need a Kleenex."
"Here you go, Dennis." Maya handed over a box of tissues.
"Thank you."
Across town, from his apartment, Kevin raised his fluted glass of champaign towards the tv screen.
"Clever, Mister Gallo. Very clever. But we all know you're true self, don't we, Jack? Don't we? HAHAHAHAHA!"
There was a banging on the door. "Kevin, is that you?"
"No, mom. It's the television."
"Keep it down. I'm watching CSI out here."
"Yes, mother."
As he finished off his champaign, his cell phone rang.
"Hello."
"Mister K? It's Rodriguez. The story is set to run for tomorrow."
"Excellent. Your debt is paid, Mister Rodriguez. I hope your daughter is well."
"It was my wife."
"Never correct the mastermind!"
"Sorry."
He disconnected the phone and returned his attention to the television.
Very soon, Jack. Very soon my plan will be in motion and the world will know what kind of person you are. Very soon...
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Kevin!"
"Sorry, mother."
As far as the debate, most observers felt that it was over from the moment Jack's opening statement ended. The speech, which became known as the 'Who I Am' speech in the press, had appeared to put Berkeley unexpectedly on the defensive, it seemed. Armed with only derogatory statements aimed at Gallo's character and background, Berkeley was, according to a New York Times story the next day, "open season for Mr. Gallo's Muhammad Ali-like jabs of information, facts and data that had Congressman Berkeley constantly on his heels and seeking an out that never came."
The Times also had a bit of advice for Berkeley:
"It appears it is time for a new battleplan, based on issues and facts instead of personal attacks on his opponent. His previous campaign strategy, one of 'what are you going to do, vote for Jack Gallo?' has proven a disaster now that it seems more and more likely that the answer in November will be a resounding 'yes'."
Dinner was later that planned in the apartment of Dennis Finch. After sensing victory, Jack had staged an impromptu party at the club across the street from Blush, attended by all those who had 'worked so hard in securing the win' and those who wished to have their paychecks signed this coming week. Dennis, knowing who really signed the checks, came anyway, but had snuck away after an hour or so. Stopping to pick up the Chinese, he made it back to his place and was just unloading it when Maya arrived.
Moments later, the occupants of the apartment sat at the table and, between bites, laughed at the plight of the poor congressman.
"Did you see the look he gave when he quoted that Manchester Guardian article on the Middle East?" she asked, swallowing her chicken lo mein as she spoke.
"Yeah," Dennis answered between bites of sweet and sour chicken, "I thought he was going to wet his pants there for a second."
He picked another piece of chicken out of his paper bucket, then added, "Come to think of it, I think he did."
Maya nodded, laughing, "He did have that 'I need changing' look on him for the rest of the time, didn't he?"
For some reason, that comment struck him as hilarious and he laughed, doing a spit take that sent Sea Breeze all down his shirt.
"Aw, hell," he moaned, jumping up and heading for the kitchen for a paper towel. Maya, closer to the kitchen, got there first and, when he got to the towels, she had one in her hand. She didn't know what made her do it, but she began to wipe his shirt for him.
As he stood there letting her do it, thoughts began to pour through Dennis' head. He wanted to reach out, take her into his arms and kiss her, gently and for a long time. Hell, he wanted to kiss her gently and forever. He longed to disappear into her embrace and never be seen or heard from again. He wanted to tenderly kiss her good night, then tenderly kiss her good morning for the next, oh, hundred years or so. Why didn't he do it, then? Aye, to quote her beloved Shakespeare, there lies the rub. He wanted so much to keep her from thinking that this was just some cruel conspiracy of seduction that he kept his real feelings a closely guarded secret, finding comfort in the fact that she was there and happy.
"Thanks," he said.
"Your welcome," she answered.
"I'd...uh...better get changed."
"Oh, OK, sure. I'll clean up."
"No, I'll do it. Don't worry about it."
As he walked to the bedroom to get his bedclothes, he sensed some kind of tension in the air. It wasn't a bad tension, but, in fact, a good tension. Unbeknownst to him was the cause of the tension, which was that the one feeling more powerful than Dennis Finch's desire to declare his love and devotion to Maya Gallo...
...was Maya Gallo's desire to have him say it to her. As she watched him close the door, she dropped into a chair and laughed at the wild thoughts that galloped through her mind. Suddenly, the laughing stopped. Maya Gallo, she thought to herself, what was all this you always said about how relationships between men and women should be equal? Why not practice what you preach? Didn't almost every man you ever had a relationship with, with the notable exception of the little blond man in the other room, the one you truly wanted one with, seduce you? Well, then, why not you?
She suddenly looked up at the closed bedroom door. The answer was so obvious she'd missed it.
Why not?
She smiled cunningly. Dennis Finch, she thought to herself, prepare to meet thy destiny.
OK, OK, maybe it's a little bit out of character for Maya, but hey, isn't it about time? Maybe it's just me but it seems that there could be quite a bit of passion inside Maya and may God have mercy on the poor soul who brings it out. The juices are flowing again, boys and girls, so watch out! Now, after a long hiatus, the quiz for our next session. What exactly does Maya plan for poor Dennis and what's going to happen when a woman seduces a man who wants to be seduced? What repercussions will emerge from Jack's crushing of Cal in the debate? What story is Rodriguez going to run tomorrow and what does Kevin have to do with it? Is it just me or did this author about a decade or so ago mention something about Nina doing a television ad? And why is Kevin getting more page time than Elliot? For the answer to these questions, stay tuned dear readers. I promise it won't be so long this time.