Chapter 12:
When Sugar Daddies
ATTACK pt11:05AM. In front of the Lemur City Convention Center. Lemur City Beach.
Quatre awoke with his head, literally, in the sand. "Mmrph?!?! PHEW-EY!!!" He spat. He staggered to his feet and looked at his surroundings. Lemur City Convention Center??!
Quatre looked amongst the enflamed debris and gasped, "Oh no---the guys!!!" He started looking around all hysterical until tripped over Duo's fallen form upon the beach sand. "Ooph!!! Yuck!!! AGAIN with the consuming of the beach sand---FUCK!!!"
Duo pulled his head out of the sand. Quatre tripping over his head gave him the jolt needed to wake up. He sat up and immediately shook the sand from his insanely long braided hair. "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!!! I hate the beach!!!!" He looked around and realized---- "DUDE?!?! Like, Lemur City is in a LANDLOCKED state. Why-THE-FUCK are we on a beach!?!?"
The teens stood up and looked around. Sure it looked like they were on a moonlit beach, but something was missing….. LIKE the seagulls, the waves rushing back and forth, the jellyfish that lay waiting for people to step on them…. As Quatre continued to puke sand and…. cookies, Duo walked off and spotted a sign.
It read:
Welcome to Lemur City's Artificial Beach!
"Ah! Landlocked misfits wanna beach too!!! Quatre check this!!!" Duo chuckled. Then he scanned the sign next to the left. "Rules?!?"
They read:
No shoes are allowed on the beach.
No running on the beach.
No diving in the 3, 4, 6, OR 50th feet area of the water.
Do not put towels on the beach.
No horseplay at the beach.
No pets are allowed.
Do not leave children unattended.
Children under the age of 18 are NOT allowed.
Do not stay in the water for longer than 10 minutes.
Swimming, Playing, Underwater sports, and wading is NOT allowed at the beach…..
"Uhh…. This isn't a beach….. It's like a sick joke….." Duo uttered.
The rules went on ranting other forms of stupidness. Duo was too dumbfounded to read. Instead, he ran off to follow Quatre, who was looking for a restroom inside the convention center… he swallowed a LOT of artificial sand.
At the VERY same time inside the Convention Center 3rd floor.
"AAAAYCHOOOO!" Heero woke himself and Wufei up from an unconscious slumber. The Earth shattering sneeze was courtesy of the pepper that had sprinkled over him during the ROUGH ride on the trolley.
"You DICK---You could've AT LEAST removed the damn spices, Chang!!" He yelled. "AAAAH-ahh-Chooooo!!!"
Wufei instantly wiped his face, "Thanks—I needed that---ASSHOLE!!!"
Heero looked around and noticed they were in some sort of study…. judging from the various shelves of now burning books and papers around them.
They saw the decimated trolley, ablaze, smashed through a wall. Heero staggered to his feet and approached the trolley.
"What if Quatre and Duo are still in there!" Wufei gasped. He raced past Heero and tried to smash open one of the cracked windows. "Quatre!!!! Duo!!! Are you two in there!!?!? Hey!!! Hey----Ow!!!"
Heero snatched Wufie back by his tiny ponytail. "Hey, stupid, this thing is gonna explode. There's nothing we could do for them even if they were in there---"
Wufei snatched away, "HOW do YOU know they are not in there!?!?"
Because… THEY'RE in there!" Heero mumbled looking at the flaming zombies emerge from the crashed trolley car. "Hn!"
Wufei and Heero were now face to face with flaming zombies. I mean these S.O.Bs were on FIRE!!! They were creeping towards the two boys with much haste…. At first it seemed hopeless: Everyone's stuff was scattered all over the place---- the boys were weaponless!!!
Wufei wanted to make the mad dash for the discarded grenade launcher--- but the high quality armchair was SO much closer. Heero looked to his side and spotted—HEY a coffee table!!!
Heero and Wu-Wu gave each other side glances before laying the fancy-furniture SMACKDOWN upon a row of oncoming zombies!
Wu-Bee-Pie's weapon of choice took out several ghouls'. They went flying across the room, and smashing into a bookshelf. Heero's coffee table attack sent zombies flying through a wall!!!
After wasting the first gang of zombies----Heero and Wufei NOW had access to their weapons----FUCK'EM!!! Once the two alpha males got to kicking undead ass with simple furnishings, weapons were no longer needed. They went ape-shit.
Wufei grabbed a zombie by the back of the head and ran it into a bookshelf. He suddenly remembered something. "Hey, Yuy, what about your shirt?"
"What about it?" Heero answered as he threw a zombie through the study room wall. "Not you, too!!!" He gruffed, shoving the back of his fist into a ghoul's face…
"No!" Wu-Wu Hack-ku-sho cringed. He snatched a wall mirror off the wall, smashing it over another zombie's head. "I mean that ARCHFIEND-jerk. He's after your shirt."
"Oh, yeah." Heero nodded---just before kicking a flaming zombie in its chest, knocking it through a display rack. 'Fuck him—I, alone, can tear him a new asshole. He's not laying a decayed finger on my badass shirt."
Wufei cringed again, after jump-kicking a random zombie into corner. "So......You like that shirt?" He asked picking up a heavy, steel paperweight and smashing it through the same zombie's head.
Heero flipped over the shoulders of the last remaining zombie and slammed it through the floor. He flipped to his feet then dusted himself…. AND his shirt off. He gave Wufei the most curious glare and responded, "What? You don't LIKE my shirt?"
"Not particularly. It's too…. shimmer-ry and onna-like." Wufei admitted. "Besides I thought you didn't like the shirt. Wufei strolled over to his discarded weapon upon the floor.
Heero did the same, but in another direction. "You have major beef for this shirt, Mr. Chang. Admit it."
"..."
"Thought so----"
CRASH!!!
Upon hearing that, Wufei and Heero slowly turned to stare at each other and sulked.
"Son-of-a-BITCH!!!" Heero gruffed rather loudly as he stormed out of the room.
1:25am. Inside the Lemur City Convention Center. Recreation Room. (Outside the restroom facility)
"What the hell?" Duo gasped.
After multiple flushes, Quatre FINALLY exited the restroom---he ate ALOT of sand. "Oh my gosh! Could it be: The ARCHFIEND?!?!"
"DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!!!!!!!!!" Duo shouted.
Quatre was alarmed, "What?!"
"What the fuck crawled up your ass and DIED?!?!" He wheezed holding his nose. "I mean DAAAAAAAAMN! I'm like outside the freaking restroom and I think you killed my sense of smell—"
"Oh.... just.... shut-up!" Quatre mumbled, embarrassed, as he closed the bathroom door and locked it. "Look we have to investigate."
Duo choked, "Naw, yo. We need to 'set-up-us-the-bomb' in order to put that restroom out of its misery and take you to a doctor...."
Quatre eye twitched, "...." He took out his magnums (fighting the urge to shoot Duo) and headed towards the rec room exit. "I'm OK. Look, let's just forget about this and investigate the situation ahead of us. Wufei, Heero, and his shirt could be in danger..."
A perfect diversion tactic! Like a rabid ferret, Duo's attention was instantly swapped over to something else.
"OH my gawd! The shirt!" Duo took out a spice rack and growled, "Maaan, if ANYTHING happens to that shirt--- I'll fuck everything up!!!"
Quatre gave Duo an odd glare from behind as they entered the conference room. "Uhh... with a spice rack?"
Duo chuckled, "Heeey! It knocked Heero the fuck out didn't it?"
The two boys stalked out of the conference room. It was in shambles! Chairs and tables lay smashed all over the floor, along with the bodies of several dead mercenaries and destroyed zombies. It appeared to be a last stand, and EVERYONE lost.
"Oh! This is horrible!" Quatre gasped looking around in despair.
"Yeah, this place stinks as much as you back at the-----"
"RAAAAAAAARGH!!!!" Howled a zombie emerging from the pile of bodies behind Duo.
"Holy shit!!!" Duo shouted as he spun around and smashed the spice rack against the sneaky ghoul. Of course it shattered---but the zombie still stood there and lunged after Duo. "FUCK!!!"
Duo caught the creature by the arms, holding its mouth at bay. They both went crashing into Quatre who was about to start capping. The magnums went blasting into the ceiling. All three went hurtling to the floor. The zombie was on top of both boys!!!
(Author's note: That sounds SO wrong.... in so many ways....)
"AAAAAyh!!!! Get him off!!! Get him off!!! Get him off!!! Get him off!!!" Duo screamed in a frantic mantra while struggling to keep the zombie from biting his face.
"ARGH!!! Get off!!!! Get off!!!! Get off!!!! Get off!!!! Get off!!!! Get off!!!!" Quatre shouted, trying to get his guns in aim at the zombie's head—instead of Duo's. And suddenly he looked up and spotted a more........ disturbing problem. "The ARCHFIEND!!!"
The ARCHFIEND stood over them and he looked pissed! He was about to just help the situation and just step on all 3 of them. Suddenly, Duo managed the throw the zombie off him with his legs, launching him into the air and into the ARCHFIEND's face. Both boys rolled out of ARCHFIEND's path and took to running.
The Giant Freak caught the zombie and spiked that fucker into the ground. He released a loud roar and took to running after.... Duo.
"Why ME!!!" Duo huffed as he picked up speed through piles of zombies and corpses.... corpses that were suddenly coming BACK TO LIFE!!!! "Oh!!!! Great!! FUCKING GREAT!!!"
While Duo is barely ducking and weaving through zombie mercenaries, the ARCHFIEND is just plowing through the creeps like friggin' a knife does butter. The Ghoulish Tyrant was gaining on Duo, and Quatre just couldn't seem to distract the monster with enough magnum rounds in the back!!!!
"Gawd DAMMINT!!!!" Quatre cursed as he reloaded his magnum and continued shooting. He wasn't fast enough to catch up with ARCHFIEND and Duo, who suddenly went flying through the exiting doors. The Braided Baka was running for his life, and the ARCHFIEND was pretty damn determined to take it right from him. Before Quatre could get near the doors, a whole score of zombies had blocked his path towards the multiple doors. Another score of zombies were also lurching towards him from behind.... "This can't end like this..." he sighed as the zombies closed in on him.
He was going to die.
But I didn't accomplish.... ANYTHING... I could save the city, the survivors..... Trowa... This isn't fair.... THIS ISN'T FUCKING FAIR.....
Suddenly a zombie managed to grab hold of Quatre, he simply shoved him off, knocking him into a few other zombies... More zombies approached his personal space....
FUCKING UNFAIR! I COULDN'T SAVE ANY-GAWD-DAMN-BODY!
Suddenly a few zombies grabbed his arms and got ready to bite----
I'M A FUCKING LOSER!!!! I HATE LOSING---
With a simple twist of his arms, the zombies lost their grip on Quatre, leaving them open for a SERIOUS ASS-KICKING.
"I CANNOT LOSE!! I'M A FUCKING WINNER---BITCH!!!!" Quatre boomed in an inhuman voice. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!! Behold my awesome power!!!!!"
(Author's note: What the Hell is THIS??!!)
Quatre went into full Zero System and his personal space was now..... on fire! Everything close to him suddenly burst into flames! He leaped into the air (like a freak) and landed with a heel into a zombie's head. As that zombie went into the floor, Quatre flipped into the air and spun kicked 6 zombies THROUGH 6 other zombies and into a wall!!!
Then Quatre, ran up to a random zombie and punched it dead in its gut---the zombie went flying to the floor. When it landed, the ghoul started contorting and shaking violently before exploding into a million disgusting pieces.
"Yeah! I'm going 'Fist of the North Star' on ya'll MONKEY-ASSES!!!" Quatre boomed, repeating the same gruesome act upon another from the side. "Elbow—PUNK!!!" He shouted.
The zombie went flying into a wall and exploded.
(Author's note: I DON'T care how crappy it looks that anime KIX AZZ!!!)
A bunch of zombies jumped upon him—they were set on fire from Quatre's flaring aura, but that didn't stop the Blonde Freak from smashing their bodies into each other and through the floor.
Another group of zombies tried their hand at grabbing Quatre—and lost them. He snatched the arms off of one zombie and started beating the undead-living shit out of them.
"TALK TO THE FUCKING HAND, FOOLS!!! kyahaha!!!" Quatre scoffed rather loudly, all while going BALLISTIC.
He turned around and spotted a few zombies trying to stagger off.
"Oh WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!?!" The Tiny Psycho screamed. Quatre went running towards them and clotheslined through ALL of their heads.... except the last one. Which Quatre grabbed by the back of the head and ran through the conference room doors!!!
It wasn't over yet. Quatre then pounced upon the zombie's back and slid down the hallway floor on its face!!!! That is until.... they went crashing through the hallway walls and out into the lobby area.... were he was nothing more than a smear...
"Heh, heh!!! Don't mess with a Winner, motherfucker!!!" Quatre growled, breathing deeply.
Suddenly, a familiar voice sounded from across the lobby area, snapping Quatre back to normal....... (WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS...)
"Now THAT was worthy of kewl points." Heero complimented. He and Wufei had just entered the lobby area trying to find what the racket was..... "Well, I see there was no need to worry about you."
Wufei snuffed, "Hmph, WELL, he was trained by the best."
Heero walked off, "I can't WAIT to meet THAT guy."
"Whatever bitch." Wufei followed closely behind.
After stomping the zombie goo off his sneakers, he hurried towards Heero. "Wow!! How did you know to look here?"
Wufei breathed in annoyance, "It was quite easy when two magnum rounds came blasting out from under us."
Quatre laughed nervously, "My bad...."
Heero was shocked, "YOU did it? I'd figured Duo..."
Then Quatre gasped, "Oh my gawd!!! Have you seen Duo?"
Heero arched his brow glancing around, "Hn.... I was going to ask you the same thing."
Suddenly they heard the frantic footsteps of the Braided Merc. Dashing out through the same hallway Quatre came sliding from. He finally collapsed at guy's feet, huffing and puffing.
"Thank gawd!!! I thought.... I'd never find.... the rest of you.... guys!!!!"
Quatre helped Duo to his feet, "Oh my! I'm so happy you're STILL alive!"
Heero pulled out his Sniper Rifle and shoved Quatre aside, "Hold up!" Heero grabbed Duo by his ear and pulled him close to face him.
"OOOW-OWOWOW!!!! Hey!!!" Duo exclaimed, trying to pull away.
Heero's grip remained along with his suspicion, "What the HELL are leading to us?"
Quatre announced, "The ARCHFIEND found us and chased Duo---"
"Shit!!!" Wufei shouted. "Did you lose him?!"
Duo quickly snatched away from Heero and ran from the group, towards the hallway. "Lay OFF!!! Paranoid bastards!!!! I OBVIOUSLY ditched him!"
Wufei intervened, "Well, that's all good—Let's get the hell out of here."
Heero nodded. Quatre gave an odd stare.
"Uhm... how do we do that?" The Blonde asked.
Duo responded, "Well, while I was running around here, I came across a stairwell that leads to the communications tower..."
Quatre was puzzled. Wufei arched his brow and gestured for Duo to go on. Heero strolled over to Duo and snatched a manual from Duo's backpack.
"Hey! Moocher!!!"
".... Your momma." Heero returned. He unfolded the Supervisor's manual and announced rather calmly, "According to the papers, Parasol mercenaries and survivors are to arrive at the Lemur City Convention Center roof to the Communications Tower..."
Quatre and Wufei beamed, "Heey!! We're survivors!!!"
Duo smirked, "Heey!! Isn't THIS the Lemur City Convention Center? Good Golly-YES!!!"
Heero exposed a humored smirk. He read further. He gulped, took a DEEP breath and announced, "We are to make a signal at the Tower at 2:00am...." Heero took a glance at his watch and sighed, "I hope you guys can run, 'cause we got five minutes."
Quatre looked at Wufei. Oh, dear!
Wufei looked at Heero. Oh, damn!
Heero looked at Duo. Oh, shit!
Duo took off like a cheetah. Oh, FUCK!!!
Heero, Wufei, and Quatre did the same.
Then suddenly something went:
"SPARKLES!!!"