Covered in the Blood of Oz
By: CrimsonDaybreak Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the rights to screw with the plot for my own amusement and the amusement of all sadistic anti-Gundam "fans".
**********
This is an alternate end to GW ep9, "The Whereabouts of Happiness" written in the first person POV. What exactly was running through Relena's head when she went to Moscow? And what would have happened if Relena's gun had *not* missed its target? Warning: *DEATHFIC*
**********
But first... it's CHIBI TIME!!
OH HAPPY DAY!: A humorous prelude to the pending deathfic, aka the *comedy relief*... :)
*Chibi Lena is dancing in the background as Cat talks, chanting loudly*
Relena: Death to Lady Une! Death to Lady Une! DEATH TO LADY UNE!!!
*Chibi Lena starts burning an effigy of Une as Cat slowly backs away with her hands out in front of her and numerous sweat drops forming on her head*
Relena: Shi'ne! Shi'ne! SHI'NE!! [Translation: Die! Die! DIE!!]
*She beats the effigy with a large stick*
Cat: Relena... please stop that...
*Suddenly Wing Zero falls from the sky and steps on Chibi Lena*
*SPLAT*
Cat: Wait a minute... That's NOT how the story goes, Heero! You're supposed to step on her at the END--er, I mean... What an AWFUL thing to do!!!
*Chibi Lena crawls out from under Zero's foot*
Relena: Oh my god! Heero! You tried to kill me! You really DO love me!!
Heero: *jawdrop* H-how did she--? *he starts backing away slowly*
*Cat jumps up onto the Zero away from Lena*
Cat: OHMYGOD she survived?!?!
Relena: You can't kill me, silly! I'm the main character!!!
*Heero pulls out his revolver and shoots her in the head*
*After a minute Chibi Lena gets up and dusts herself off*
Relena: See, what did I tell you?
Heero: EFF-ing HELL she's RIGHT!!! Everyone run for it!! She's gonna kill us all!!! We're all gonna die!!! OHMYGOD!!! We're GONNA DIE!!!!!!!
*Heero and Cat jump into the Zero and take off*
Relena: I'm not gonna kill *everyone*, silly. I'm only going to kill Lady Une.
*Chibi Lena skips off happily with a revolver in hand, stepping on the burnt effigy of Une as goes*
*Une, who has been eavesdropping the whole time, sneaks off in the other direction, snickering*
Une: Stupid girl.
[Okay, the Chibis got their say... Now on to the REAL story.]
**********
Covered in the Blood of Oz
**********
The clock ticks madly in my ears;
Church bells and song of mourning
Sound across the night,
As they lay him down to rest.
**********
"Miss Relena," Pagan whispers to me from behind, "would you like to go home now?" I don't reply. I stand there silently, in front of his freshly buried grave, a single rose in my hands. My father. Dead. Gone. Forever. I grasp the rose tighter, crushing the fragile petals, the thorns digging deep into my skin. "Miss Relena?" Again I don't answer; I am lost within my own thoughts. My father. Dead. Gone. Forever. He fought hard to attain peace, and what did he receive in return? Death! That woman killed him. My eyes narrow angrily, her name dancing like a bitter spice on the tip of my tongue. Lady Une.
Pagan places a hand on my shoulder, but says no more. He can't possibly understand what I was thinking... planning. Yes, I will have my revenge. At any cost. I close my eyes for a moment, and release the rose, now destroyed, from my grasp. The blood runs from my wounded hand, the deep red liquid of life falling onto his death, but I feel nothing. Nothing at all. "Father's dead," I whisper hoarsely, but I feel nothing.
"Come, Miss Relena. Let us go home." Pagan guides me to the car, and I step inside, still numb, feeling nothing. On the seat beside me, there lay a revolver. It was not my father's; he was a pacifist, and it was not mine, for I was a pacifist. Pagan owns nothing this elegant; the ivory handle glinting in the final moments of the setting sun, the gold trimming is the finest in all of the Sanc. Was it his?
"Heero," I whisper, softly so Pagan cannot hear. There is something about the way I said his name. Was I feeling something now? I pick up the gun, running my blood-stained hands over the gold edges, and sigh quietly.
**********
"I tap my gun beneath my fingertips."
Shinbou. [Keeping patience.]
**********
One last time I look out the window, watching the cemetery as we pass. "Father," I whisper, and for a moment, a think I see him standing there, atop his grave, smiling at me. Smiling peacefully at me. No. He is smiling, but there is something in his eyes... lust for revenge... hatred. Perhaps these are my own feelings showing through this vision, but how? If I feel nothing... "I understand, father. You will not have died without reason." I can't understand it. My own feelings are numb. I'm lost. Alone. Father is dead. Gone. Forever. But I cannot cry. No tears come.
**********
But I have no tears,
And I shed no tears,
Because all I can think of
When I close my eyes, is that
She killed him.
**********
"Would you like an escort, Miss Relena?" Pagan asks as I carry my handbag to the front gates. The car is waiting, but this time Pagan is not the driver. I will not drag him into this. He cannot know, because his kind nature, his loyalty to Sanc, would drive him to interfere.
"It's alright Pagan."
He looks at me silently, a small hurt in his eyes. Does he know? Can he see it in my eyes? "I understand, Miss Relena. May I inquire to where you are heading for the next few days?" Good. He doesn't know.
"I have unfinished business to attend to, Pagan."
"I see. Please keep in touch with Sanc, Miss Relena... to prevent worry."
"I will, Pagan," I answer, but I know it is a lie. I didn't think then, that I would not return. I will never to set foot back here again. He opens the door to the car, and I step in, smiling once more to him as the car pulls away to the shuttle port. "Good-bye, Pagan."
The shuttle taxies down the runway, and I sit silently, acknowledging no other presences in my world. No one else can get involved. This is my journey. "Father," I whisper, "what am I going to do?" I look out the window at the solid Earth below me. I feel almost at peace, but suddenly, an image shatters my calm world. The bitterness returns as in the glass, I see her vision. Why is my mind doing this? Why do I keep seeing her?
**********
The woman with the amber eyes,
The devil soldier,
The murderer,
The crimson rose that draws blood.
**********
Without warning, my emotions return. The numbness disappears, and I can feel again. Angry, bitter tears stream down my cheeks, but no one seems to notice. "Father," I whisper mournfully for the first time. I feel something cold in my hand, in my closed fist. Bullets. How did they get there? I move them around in my palm, the cold sensation fading as the warmth from my body spreads into the metal. Then I remember the ivory gun. I had brought that with me too. I am going to Moscow. That woman is in Moscow. Suddenly, it all makes sense. Concealing the bullets in my hand again, I whisper, "I understand now, father. I understand." Even through my bitter tears, I realize that I am smiling...
**********
"I hold the bullets close and almost smile."
Ketsurui. [These bitter tears.]
**********
"What are you smiling at, Miss Relena?" I turn around to face the flight attendant. "Oh my, you're crying, too. Are you alright?" I wipe the tears from my face and smile again. The young attendant reminds me of Pagan. I almost feel like telling him everything. Confessing. But I cannot bring anyone into this. No one can interfere. "Ma'am?"
"Oh, I am just happy, I guess. I am going to visit an old...friend... But I am sad at the same time, because my father is not with me anymore."
"I see. My condolences, Miss Relena." I smile again, trying to hide that mysterious feeling that has been rising in my throat. I've never felt like this. It is even stronger than hatred, but it is not aimed at the flight attendant. That's why I am hiding it. This feeling is for her.
**********
Her image mains me,
Like the darkness she is.
But no matter what forgiveness means,
I cannot forgive, because
She killed him.
**********
"Is there anything I can get for you, Ma'am?" the attendant asks.
"No thank you, sir. I am quite alright," I answer, remembering to smile before turning away to face the window once again. And again I see her image in the glass, and the hatred grows stronger. I clutch to the bullets, a realization in my head. I know what I will do. I know what will happen. There is a strange desire in my heart. It's something I've never felt before. Something dark. Something sinful.
"We are now arriving in Moscow," I hear the pilot announce, but I fail to hear the rest. I am here. I have arrived at my final destination. The dark desire grows stronger with every minute as I wait for the shuttle to touch down. Only a little longer, I think to myself; my eyes are fixed on the watch around my wrist. Only a little longer, and then it will all end. Darkness. Sin.
**********
Suddenly I realize
That behind my chaste beliefs,
I, too, desire blood;
I want to see her blood.
**********
In the hotel room, I take my time, knowing that it will not take long to accomplish what I am here to do. Night is slowly approaching. The door to my room is locked, but the curtains are fully drawn. I can see the sunset, and I know that it is almost time. "Miss Relena?" comes a voice outside.
"Who is it?" I ask.
"Mr. Pagan sent me to check on you, Ma'am."
Quickly, I load the pistol I am holding, and tuck it out of view. No one can know. I open the door slowly to see an old man standing in the hallway. "Pagan sent you?" I ask, and he nods. Trying to keep friendly, I smile. "Oh, you shouldn't trouble yourself like this. It's really not necessary." He nods again, bowing slightly.
"We are just concerned, Miss Relena. You've never taken a trip alone before."
"It's quite alright. I think I can take care of myself."
"I understand your want for independence, Ma'am, but I will be back again tomorrow, just to check up on you... Pagan's orders."
"That's quite alright," I answer, trying not to smile my twisted smile, for I know that tomorrow I will not be here anymore. He will find this room empty. The only thing on my mind is the pistol I had concealed. He leaves quietly, and I lock the door behind him, releasing that twisted smile and laughing...just a little. Some people are so blind.
**********
"I load the pistol, and now I smile."
Aku-musaboru. [Such wicked lust.]
**********
One more time I look at myself in the mirror. "Stunning," I tell myself. "No one will ever know." I admire the ivory dress my father gave me on my last birthday. The time to wear it had finally come. Tonight I plan to attend a ball. Tonight there is something I am going to finish. Lady Une is going to be at this ball to speak with my grandfather. And I will go with him. Grandfather Weridge will understand. He will be the first to know, but he will not be able to interfere. It will be too late. There is a knock at the door.
"Miss Relena?"
"Yes?"
"The driver you requested is here."
"I will be right down; thank you." Watch out, Lady Une. Tonight you'll meet me. Your time is drawing to a close. Just wait. I grab the loaded pistol and leave the room, as empty as it had been when I entered it.
**********
To make her pay for what she did-
To atone for the sins of Oz.
After this numbness, I only feel hatred,
Because I know
She killed him.
**********
On the elevator ride down, I remember the day my father died. It has not been long, but it seems like eternities since it happened. I waited too long for this. For some reason, my mind becomes clouded, and I cannot think clearly. I cannot remember where I am going, what I am going to do, or even who I am. Every sound slurs with the rest, and the entire world seems to blur in front of my eyes. What am I doing? It's like I'm engulfed by darkness. It's controlling me. I feel my hand clutch tighter to the handgun.
"Father, I am a pacifist," I whisper, alone, and again I see his image smiling in the elevator's glass. "I am a Peacecraft; you said it yourself." Suddenly, I realize this isn't true. His smile is the same as mine.
"No, father, you are right. I am not a pacifist. I am someone, not a Peacecraft or a Dorlain." The elevator doors open, and I step out, only one thing on my mind. It is something dark. Something sinful. Something that a Peacecraft would not do. But for now, I am not a Peacecraft. And I am not a Dorlain. I am Relena, and Lady Une killed my father.
**********
Lost in darkness,
And overcome by obsession,
I choose to abandon this pacifism,
And take my revenge.
**********
The driver smiles at me as I step into the car. "Good evening, Miss Relena. You look lovely. Are you going to the ball tonight?"
"Yes, sir," I answer quietly. "Thank you." Tucking the pistol into the shawl wrapped about my shoulders, I hope the driver does not see. I cannot afford to mess up now. No one can know. No one can interfere. Maybe it's only me, but the ride seems longer than it should be.
**********
"I conceal the weapon beneath my shawl."
Zigoku-saiwai. [My blissful hell.]
**********
The night outside the window is cold. Cold and dark, like the emotions that are lying in my heart at this moment. Why did father have to die? He was always kind. He only wanted to achieve peace... Just like my real father. But they killed him, too. It shouldn't have happened.
"Miss Relena, are you feeling alright?" the driver asks me while keeping his eyes on the road. On a glance back, he must have noticed the dark, almost sad, expression on my face. At least he did not interpret it.
"I am fine, sir. When do you think we will arrive?"
He nods and answers, "Another five or ten minutes, Ma'am. Don't worry, your Grandfather will be waiting."
I sit back and close my eyes. Only a little longer. Just a little longer.
**********
Good people should not have to suffer.
Good people should not have to die.
But she made them suffer, and she made them die,
And I'll kill her, only because
She killed him.
**********
I step out of the car gracefully, thanking the driver as I leave to enter the gates. "Ma'am?" the driver asks.
"Yes?"
"When should I be back to pick you up?"
I shake my head quickly. "Oh, that's not necessary." He looks at me suspiciously, and I quickly add, "My Grandfather will take care of that. Don't worry, sir." He nods and slowly pulls away. I continue to walk.
A guard stops me before I enter. "Excuse me, Miss?"
"Yes?" I ask as I turn around.
"May I ask your name?"
"Relena... Dorlain," I reply and the guard shakes his head.
"I am sorry. You need to be on the guest list to enter. Do you have any relations who have been invited?" I can care less for his words. I am not here to attend a party. I am here to do the bidding of Death.
**********
Deep within my heart,
Beneath my innocence,
I desire blood.
I desire revenge.
**********
"Ma'am?"
"Relena!" comes a voice from behind me. "How wonderful of you to make it out tonight, Relena." I turn around again to face the older man.
"Grandfather!"
The guard suddenly steps away. "Please forgive me, Miss. I did not know your relation to Marquis Weridge."
"It's quite alright."
Grandfather takes hold of my arm and leads me to the palace entrance. Silently, I am laughing, for my intentions have evaded the last obstacle to my destination. It's almost over, Lady Une.
**********
"I climb the marble steps and laugh blissfully."
Setsuzyoku. [Revenge.]
**********
Grandfather sits at his table as Lady Une approaches. You're finally here, Lady. Their conversation carries on, and for some reason, I feel as if Grandfather knows what I am planning. I know what you're thinking, Grandfather, but please don't be sad. This is the only way father can rest in peace.
"May I ask one favour of you, Lady Une?" I hear grandfather say softly.
"Yes?" she replies, a cold contradiction to grandfather's friendliness in her voice. She hated us, but that didn't matter. Not to me.
**********
For tonight,
Yes tonight,
When the sun sets beyond the colonies,
I will be covered in the blood of Oz.
**********
"May I have the rose you are wearing for my granddaughter? Such flower does not belong on a military uniform."
This is it, I find myself thinking. He's given me my chance.
"That's alright, grandfather," I answer back, before Une can reply. "Roses don't look good on me either. I'd look better covered in the blood of Oz!" I end up shouting as I draw my gun.
The single bullet drives itself into her heart, the rose on her lapel shattering from the impact. My aim is on the mark. Her body falls to the floor, the blood splashing onto the ivory dress I am wearing. She gasped once, and I wonder what she is thinking about. Her eyes open and look up at me, for only a moment, but in them, I see something I didn't notice before. Remorse. Gratitude. She understands. Suddenly, there is something inside me that shouts, telling me I am wrong, but another voice tells me that what I did was right. A single tear slips down my cheek; my own eyes are dazed, confused. But it doesn't matter now. She's dead.
"Relena!" Grandfather shouts, but I know it is too late. Don't cry, grandfather. It's okay. Everything is okay now. The soldiers watched as I killed their commander, and now they gun me down. Three bullets hit me, and I fall to the floor as my own blood mingles with hers. The pain wracks my body, but nothing hurts. It is done. Now I am a Dorlain. Now I am a Peacecraft. Now I can be a pacifist. My eyes close, darkness encompassing my world, and I hear another gunshot. Grandfather falls beside me, dead as well. It's over.
"Father, it's finally over."
**********
Whee! That was fun... well... it's just one of those days.. SCHOOL'S OUT!!!! SNOW--I mean ICE--DAY!!! Plus I get to miss a science test and write fanfiction instead! Please RxR. This was one of the hardest fics I've written... I couldn't manage to keep it all in present, first person tense. .
By: CrimsonDaybreak Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the rights to screw with the plot for my own amusement and the amusement of all sadistic anti-Gundam "fans".
**********
This is an alternate end to GW ep9, "The Whereabouts of Happiness" written in the first person POV. What exactly was running through Relena's head when she went to Moscow? And what would have happened if Relena's gun had *not* missed its target? Warning: *DEATHFIC*
**********
But first... it's CHIBI TIME!!
OH HAPPY DAY!: A humorous prelude to the pending deathfic, aka the *comedy relief*... :)
*Chibi Lena is dancing in the background as Cat talks, chanting loudly*
Relena: Death to Lady Une! Death to Lady Une! DEATH TO LADY UNE!!!
*Chibi Lena starts burning an effigy of Une as Cat slowly backs away with her hands out in front of her and numerous sweat drops forming on her head*
Relena: Shi'ne! Shi'ne! SHI'NE!! [Translation: Die! Die! DIE!!]
*She beats the effigy with a large stick*
Cat: Relena... please stop that...
*Suddenly Wing Zero falls from the sky and steps on Chibi Lena*
*SPLAT*
Cat: Wait a minute... That's NOT how the story goes, Heero! You're supposed to step on her at the END--er, I mean... What an AWFUL thing to do!!!
*Chibi Lena crawls out from under Zero's foot*
Relena: Oh my god! Heero! You tried to kill me! You really DO love me!!
Heero: *jawdrop* H-how did she--? *he starts backing away slowly*
*Cat jumps up onto the Zero away from Lena*
Cat: OHMYGOD she survived?!?!
Relena: You can't kill me, silly! I'm the main character!!!
*Heero pulls out his revolver and shoots her in the head*
*After a minute Chibi Lena gets up and dusts herself off*
Relena: See, what did I tell you?
Heero: EFF-ing HELL she's RIGHT!!! Everyone run for it!! She's gonna kill us all!!! We're all gonna die!!! OHMYGOD!!! We're GONNA DIE!!!!!!!
*Heero and Cat jump into the Zero and take off*
Relena: I'm not gonna kill *everyone*, silly. I'm only going to kill Lady Une.
*Chibi Lena skips off happily with a revolver in hand, stepping on the burnt effigy of Une as goes*
*Une, who has been eavesdropping the whole time, sneaks off in the other direction, snickering*
Une: Stupid girl.
[Okay, the Chibis got their say... Now on to the REAL story.]
**********
Covered in the Blood of Oz
**********
The clock ticks madly in my ears;
Church bells and song of mourning
Sound across the night,
As they lay him down to rest.
**********
"Miss Relena," Pagan whispers to me from behind, "would you like to go home now?" I don't reply. I stand there silently, in front of his freshly buried grave, a single rose in my hands. My father. Dead. Gone. Forever. I grasp the rose tighter, crushing the fragile petals, the thorns digging deep into my skin. "Miss Relena?" Again I don't answer; I am lost within my own thoughts. My father. Dead. Gone. Forever. He fought hard to attain peace, and what did he receive in return? Death! That woman killed him. My eyes narrow angrily, her name dancing like a bitter spice on the tip of my tongue. Lady Une.
Pagan places a hand on my shoulder, but says no more. He can't possibly understand what I was thinking... planning. Yes, I will have my revenge. At any cost. I close my eyes for a moment, and release the rose, now destroyed, from my grasp. The blood runs from my wounded hand, the deep red liquid of life falling onto his death, but I feel nothing. Nothing at all. "Father's dead," I whisper hoarsely, but I feel nothing.
"Come, Miss Relena. Let us go home." Pagan guides me to the car, and I step inside, still numb, feeling nothing. On the seat beside me, there lay a revolver. It was not my father's; he was a pacifist, and it was not mine, for I was a pacifist. Pagan owns nothing this elegant; the ivory handle glinting in the final moments of the setting sun, the gold trimming is the finest in all of the Sanc. Was it his?
"Heero," I whisper, softly so Pagan cannot hear. There is something about the way I said his name. Was I feeling something now? I pick up the gun, running my blood-stained hands over the gold edges, and sigh quietly.
**********
"I tap my gun beneath my fingertips."
Shinbou. [Keeping patience.]
**********
One last time I look out the window, watching the cemetery as we pass. "Father," I whisper, and for a moment, a think I see him standing there, atop his grave, smiling at me. Smiling peacefully at me. No. He is smiling, but there is something in his eyes... lust for revenge... hatred. Perhaps these are my own feelings showing through this vision, but how? If I feel nothing... "I understand, father. You will not have died without reason." I can't understand it. My own feelings are numb. I'm lost. Alone. Father is dead. Gone. Forever. But I cannot cry. No tears come.
**********
But I have no tears,
And I shed no tears,
Because all I can think of
When I close my eyes, is that
She killed him.
**********
"Would you like an escort, Miss Relena?" Pagan asks as I carry my handbag to the front gates. The car is waiting, but this time Pagan is not the driver. I will not drag him into this. He cannot know, because his kind nature, his loyalty to Sanc, would drive him to interfere.
"It's alright Pagan."
He looks at me silently, a small hurt in his eyes. Does he know? Can he see it in my eyes? "I understand, Miss Relena. May I inquire to where you are heading for the next few days?" Good. He doesn't know.
"I have unfinished business to attend to, Pagan."
"I see. Please keep in touch with Sanc, Miss Relena... to prevent worry."
"I will, Pagan," I answer, but I know it is a lie. I didn't think then, that I would not return. I will never to set foot back here again. He opens the door to the car, and I step in, smiling once more to him as the car pulls away to the shuttle port. "Good-bye, Pagan."
The shuttle taxies down the runway, and I sit silently, acknowledging no other presences in my world. No one else can get involved. This is my journey. "Father," I whisper, "what am I going to do?" I look out the window at the solid Earth below me. I feel almost at peace, but suddenly, an image shatters my calm world. The bitterness returns as in the glass, I see her vision. Why is my mind doing this? Why do I keep seeing her?
**********
The woman with the amber eyes,
The devil soldier,
The murderer,
The crimson rose that draws blood.
**********
Without warning, my emotions return. The numbness disappears, and I can feel again. Angry, bitter tears stream down my cheeks, but no one seems to notice. "Father," I whisper mournfully for the first time. I feel something cold in my hand, in my closed fist. Bullets. How did they get there? I move them around in my palm, the cold sensation fading as the warmth from my body spreads into the metal. Then I remember the ivory gun. I had brought that with me too. I am going to Moscow. That woman is in Moscow. Suddenly, it all makes sense. Concealing the bullets in my hand again, I whisper, "I understand now, father. I understand." Even through my bitter tears, I realize that I am smiling...
**********
"I hold the bullets close and almost smile."
Ketsurui. [These bitter tears.]
**********
"What are you smiling at, Miss Relena?" I turn around to face the flight attendant. "Oh my, you're crying, too. Are you alright?" I wipe the tears from my face and smile again. The young attendant reminds me of Pagan. I almost feel like telling him everything. Confessing. But I cannot bring anyone into this. No one can interfere. "Ma'am?"
"Oh, I am just happy, I guess. I am going to visit an old...friend... But I am sad at the same time, because my father is not with me anymore."
"I see. My condolences, Miss Relena." I smile again, trying to hide that mysterious feeling that has been rising in my throat. I've never felt like this. It is even stronger than hatred, but it is not aimed at the flight attendant. That's why I am hiding it. This feeling is for her.
**********
Her image mains me,
Like the darkness she is.
But no matter what forgiveness means,
I cannot forgive, because
She killed him.
**********
"Is there anything I can get for you, Ma'am?" the attendant asks.
"No thank you, sir. I am quite alright," I answer, remembering to smile before turning away to face the window once again. And again I see her image in the glass, and the hatred grows stronger. I clutch to the bullets, a realization in my head. I know what I will do. I know what will happen. There is a strange desire in my heart. It's something I've never felt before. Something dark. Something sinful.
"We are now arriving in Moscow," I hear the pilot announce, but I fail to hear the rest. I am here. I have arrived at my final destination. The dark desire grows stronger with every minute as I wait for the shuttle to touch down. Only a little longer, I think to myself; my eyes are fixed on the watch around my wrist. Only a little longer, and then it will all end. Darkness. Sin.
**********
Suddenly I realize
That behind my chaste beliefs,
I, too, desire blood;
I want to see her blood.
**********
In the hotel room, I take my time, knowing that it will not take long to accomplish what I am here to do. Night is slowly approaching. The door to my room is locked, but the curtains are fully drawn. I can see the sunset, and I know that it is almost time. "Miss Relena?" comes a voice outside.
"Who is it?" I ask.
"Mr. Pagan sent me to check on you, Ma'am."
Quickly, I load the pistol I am holding, and tuck it out of view. No one can know. I open the door slowly to see an old man standing in the hallway. "Pagan sent you?" I ask, and he nods. Trying to keep friendly, I smile. "Oh, you shouldn't trouble yourself like this. It's really not necessary." He nods again, bowing slightly.
"We are just concerned, Miss Relena. You've never taken a trip alone before."
"It's quite alright. I think I can take care of myself."
"I understand your want for independence, Ma'am, but I will be back again tomorrow, just to check up on you... Pagan's orders."
"That's quite alright," I answer, trying not to smile my twisted smile, for I know that tomorrow I will not be here anymore. He will find this room empty. The only thing on my mind is the pistol I had concealed. He leaves quietly, and I lock the door behind him, releasing that twisted smile and laughing...just a little. Some people are so blind.
**********
"I load the pistol, and now I smile."
Aku-musaboru. [Such wicked lust.]
**********
One more time I look at myself in the mirror. "Stunning," I tell myself. "No one will ever know." I admire the ivory dress my father gave me on my last birthday. The time to wear it had finally come. Tonight I plan to attend a ball. Tonight there is something I am going to finish. Lady Une is going to be at this ball to speak with my grandfather. And I will go with him. Grandfather Weridge will understand. He will be the first to know, but he will not be able to interfere. It will be too late. There is a knock at the door.
"Miss Relena?"
"Yes?"
"The driver you requested is here."
"I will be right down; thank you." Watch out, Lady Une. Tonight you'll meet me. Your time is drawing to a close. Just wait. I grab the loaded pistol and leave the room, as empty as it had been when I entered it.
**********
To make her pay for what she did-
To atone for the sins of Oz.
After this numbness, I only feel hatred,
Because I know
She killed him.
**********
On the elevator ride down, I remember the day my father died. It has not been long, but it seems like eternities since it happened. I waited too long for this. For some reason, my mind becomes clouded, and I cannot think clearly. I cannot remember where I am going, what I am going to do, or even who I am. Every sound slurs with the rest, and the entire world seems to blur in front of my eyes. What am I doing? It's like I'm engulfed by darkness. It's controlling me. I feel my hand clutch tighter to the handgun.
"Father, I am a pacifist," I whisper, alone, and again I see his image smiling in the elevator's glass. "I am a Peacecraft; you said it yourself." Suddenly, I realize this isn't true. His smile is the same as mine.
"No, father, you are right. I am not a pacifist. I am someone, not a Peacecraft or a Dorlain." The elevator doors open, and I step out, only one thing on my mind. It is something dark. Something sinful. Something that a Peacecraft would not do. But for now, I am not a Peacecraft. And I am not a Dorlain. I am Relena, and Lady Une killed my father.
**********
Lost in darkness,
And overcome by obsession,
I choose to abandon this pacifism,
And take my revenge.
**********
The driver smiles at me as I step into the car. "Good evening, Miss Relena. You look lovely. Are you going to the ball tonight?"
"Yes, sir," I answer quietly. "Thank you." Tucking the pistol into the shawl wrapped about my shoulders, I hope the driver does not see. I cannot afford to mess up now. No one can know. No one can interfere. Maybe it's only me, but the ride seems longer than it should be.
**********
"I conceal the weapon beneath my shawl."
Zigoku-saiwai. [My blissful hell.]
**********
The night outside the window is cold. Cold and dark, like the emotions that are lying in my heart at this moment. Why did father have to die? He was always kind. He only wanted to achieve peace... Just like my real father. But they killed him, too. It shouldn't have happened.
"Miss Relena, are you feeling alright?" the driver asks me while keeping his eyes on the road. On a glance back, he must have noticed the dark, almost sad, expression on my face. At least he did not interpret it.
"I am fine, sir. When do you think we will arrive?"
He nods and answers, "Another five or ten minutes, Ma'am. Don't worry, your Grandfather will be waiting."
I sit back and close my eyes. Only a little longer. Just a little longer.
**********
Good people should not have to suffer.
Good people should not have to die.
But she made them suffer, and she made them die,
And I'll kill her, only because
She killed him.
**********
I step out of the car gracefully, thanking the driver as I leave to enter the gates. "Ma'am?" the driver asks.
"Yes?"
"When should I be back to pick you up?"
I shake my head quickly. "Oh, that's not necessary." He looks at me suspiciously, and I quickly add, "My Grandfather will take care of that. Don't worry, sir." He nods and slowly pulls away. I continue to walk.
A guard stops me before I enter. "Excuse me, Miss?"
"Yes?" I ask as I turn around.
"May I ask your name?"
"Relena... Dorlain," I reply and the guard shakes his head.
"I am sorry. You need to be on the guest list to enter. Do you have any relations who have been invited?" I can care less for his words. I am not here to attend a party. I am here to do the bidding of Death.
**********
Deep within my heart,
Beneath my innocence,
I desire blood.
I desire revenge.
**********
"Ma'am?"
"Relena!" comes a voice from behind me. "How wonderful of you to make it out tonight, Relena." I turn around again to face the older man.
"Grandfather!"
The guard suddenly steps away. "Please forgive me, Miss. I did not know your relation to Marquis Weridge."
"It's quite alright."
Grandfather takes hold of my arm and leads me to the palace entrance. Silently, I am laughing, for my intentions have evaded the last obstacle to my destination. It's almost over, Lady Une.
**********
"I climb the marble steps and laugh blissfully."
Setsuzyoku. [Revenge.]
**********
Grandfather sits at his table as Lady Une approaches. You're finally here, Lady. Their conversation carries on, and for some reason, I feel as if Grandfather knows what I am planning. I know what you're thinking, Grandfather, but please don't be sad. This is the only way father can rest in peace.
"May I ask one favour of you, Lady Une?" I hear grandfather say softly.
"Yes?" she replies, a cold contradiction to grandfather's friendliness in her voice. She hated us, but that didn't matter. Not to me.
**********
For tonight,
Yes tonight,
When the sun sets beyond the colonies,
I will be covered in the blood of Oz.
**********
"May I have the rose you are wearing for my granddaughter? Such flower does not belong on a military uniform."
This is it, I find myself thinking. He's given me my chance.
"That's alright, grandfather," I answer back, before Une can reply. "Roses don't look good on me either. I'd look better covered in the blood of Oz!" I end up shouting as I draw my gun.
The single bullet drives itself into her heart, the rose on her lapel shattering from the impact. My aim is on the mark. Her body falls to the floor, the blood splashing onto the ivory dress I am wearing. She gasped once, and I wonder what she is thinking about. Her eyes open and look up at me, for only a moment, but in them, I see something I didn't notice before. Remorse. Gratitude. She understands. Suddenly, there is something inside me that shouts, telling me I am wrong, but another voice tells me that what I did was right. A single tear slips down my cheek; my own eyes are dazed, confused. But it doesn't matter now. She's dead.
"Relena!" Grandfather shouts, but I know it is too late. Don't cry, grandfather. It's okay. Everything is okay now. The soldiers watched as I killed their commander, and now they gun me down. Three bullets hit me, and I fall to the floor as my own blood mingles with hers. The pain wracks my body, but nothing hurts. It is done. Now I am a Dorlain. Now I am a Peacecraft. Now I can be a pacifist. My eyes close, darkness encompassing my world, and I hear another gunshot. Grandfather falls beside me, dead as well. It's over.
"Father, it's finally over."
**********
Whee! That was fun... well... it's just one of those days.. SCHOOL'S OUT!!!! SNOW--I mean ICE--DAY!!! Plus I get to miss a science test and write fanfiction instead! Please RxR. This was one of the hardest fics I've written... I couldn't manage to keep it all in present, first person tense. .