Chapter 16
The Hunter, The Hunted... and the ...HUNGRY?
4:10am. Lemur City Cemetery.
".....*GRUMBLE* Dirty Bastards!!! I'll show them!!!! Heero's not bad—he's just homicidal... and cranky. Quatre and Hong Kong Wu-ey just have major Grade A, corn-fed BEEF!!!"
Duo continued through the DARK, OMNIOUS, and of course FOGGY cemetery alone. He was truly at a lost for words....If not for the ranting and raving. He was SO PISSED. He made a bunch of kewl friends—then they all turned into ASSHOLES!!!
".... *MUTTER*... They SUCK!!!!" he shouted to the top of his lungs!!!! When he finished his loud rant, he looked around the cemetery for danger. "Heh, I'm in the middle of the graveyard--- Resident of the Dead--- and I haven't seen a single zombie."
Suddenly there was a rumble.
*RUMBLE*
Duo staggered to the ground it started to shake. "Maaan!!! I need to shut the fuck up----WHOOOOA!!!" Without warning the earth lifted up from under him and he went flying.
He crashed into the muddy lawn. SPLAT!!
"WHAT the DUDE!!!" Duo clamored as he staggered to his feet. "UHhhhh---AAAAAAYH!!!"
"MEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeP!!!" A LARGE mutated Mole.... type creature..... but it sorta looks like a ---------
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyh!!!! A Mole monster!!!!!!" Duo screamed.
The mole.... or potato type creature had patches of dark and dirty hair. On its dusty bare skin it had little, strange growths or 'spuds' all over its body. The mole-thing opened its mouth to reveal two, huge, jagged front teeth and some hideous halitosis.
"Hoo-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!" it boomed.
"!!!"
Duo took off running. The mole burrowed into the ground, tunneling after him. Just as the Black Clad Mercenary was heading through the park gate, the mole had cornered him off and slashed at him with his heavily clawed paws!!!! Duo avoided the assault by jumping backwards and falling over a tombstone---- "AAAAyh-----OOoph!!!"
OK... he actually goofed the second part.
The mutant mole crawled towards Duo in an attempt to bite his legs. Duo suddenly kicked the tombstone in its mouth—knocking out its teeth. He tried to crawl away but the creature grabbed his ankles and pulled him backward.
"Oh—Nooooooooo!" he screamed clutching onto anything; grass, dirt, Heero's boot---- Heero's boot!!!??
"Do you EVER stay out of trouble?"
Heero
shot the creature through the mouth. The creature dropped dead, releasing its
grip on Duo. The Messy Haired Terror hoisted Duo up and walked over to the
mole...
"Whoo-Boy! Thanx for saving me! I'm so glad to see you, Heero!" Duo exclaimed.
Heero totally ignored Duo for the mole... or potato creature on the ground...
"... and you WON'T BELIEVE what Quatre and Wufei had to say about.... Uhm.... Heero? Heero?! What are you doing over there? It's dead! Get away from the damn mole-thing....
Heero slowly kneeled down beside the monster and sniffed it.
Duo exclaimed, "What the FUCK are you-----"
Heero bit the creature--- taking a huge chuck out of its side. CHOMP!!!
"OH SHIT!!!" Duo staggered backwards and screamed, "EWWWWWE!!! FUCK!!!! MAAAAAAAN!!! WHAT THE HELL IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU, DUDE!!!!"
Heero swallowed and wiped his bloodied mouth. He took out his machete and started chopping pieces of the beast and eating more. He looked over to Duo who was mortified.
"Wholly SHIIIIT!!! You're a zombie eater!!!!"
"What?" Heero mumbled through chewing. "It's just a mole-tato."
"No!!" Duo gagged, "It's just a raggedy monster mole!!! WHY are you eating the DAMN MOLE!!!?"
"It's no different from a potato, Duo. Calm down..."
Duo went into hysterics as Heero dug in. "No!!!!! It' is NOT!!! Moles have eyes!!!! They live underground!!!
Heero spat out a piece of mole-tato bone and returned, "So do potatoes. They are also dirty and brown. You want a piece?"
"Hell no!! You ghoul!!!" Duo started to stagger away. "GaWd DAMN! That's fucking gross!"
"Come on, stop being a snob. You were trying to eat that toxic shit in a can!!" Heero reminded Duo. "Satanic Pete's Billowing Nuclear Brimstone Chili---Oh wait. Now with goat meat and lard! Oh, Excuse me for forgetting, that important part. You sick monkey---I mean goat meat---how barbaric."
Duo turned around to give Heero the oddest glare. He couldn't believe this modern day caveman just snubbed eating a farm animal. "I'll have you know GOAT MEAT is DAMN good!!!"
Heero gulped down what seemed to be the heart of the mole-tato carcass and argued, "Goats are fucking gross!!! Who eats that shit! They eat ANYTHING!!! You wanna put that in your system!!!"
Duo yelled, "Oh whatever!!! NORMAL GOATS are raised to eat grass and grains----but your MUTANT VALUE MEAL over there tried TO EAT ME!!!"
Filled, Heero stood up from the dead creature and wiped his face from the remains and carried on with the argument. "Get over yourself! It was ONLY protecting its territory."
"Did you hear what the FUCK I just said, Heero?!?! It's a MUTANT FREAK MOLE MONSTER!!!! AND YOU ARE EATING IT!!!"
Heero belched. He then said, "Correction: It's a mole-tato."
"Heero you're like inventing shit over here!" Duo exclaimed.
"Part mole. Part potato. It's like a meat and potato stew on feet." Heero added. "It's fucking awesome. Are you sure you don't want any? There are a few vital organs. The blood is still warm?"
Duo turned away from Heero and rushed off. "GGGRRRRRRP URRRRRGH Urp!!!!" He went to puking his brains out in a bush nearby.
Heero shrugged, "Fine, be that way---UuuUUrp!!!!!!---- Whoo damn! Excuse me..."
4:20am. Lemur City Cemetery
Quatre and Wufei made the scene. The fog was especially thick. Like Silent Hill 2 (the mist-is-a-moving-fucking-wall-X-Box-version) thick. They made haste through the cemetery in order to approach the park gates.
"Oomph!!!" Wufei grunted as he tripped a large lump in the middle of gravesite. He rolled over and shot whatever it was he tripped over--- blasting a few bullets into it. "DIE!!!"
Quatre also aimed at the large lump on the ground. "What is it!?"
Wufei stood up and examined the mass. "It's a body of some sort of creature...or its remains..."
"Eewe! Something ate it!" Quatre exclaimed. "Wufei.... I don't wanna know what did this...."
Wufei reloaded his weapon and agreed, "Me neither. Let's get the hell out of here."
"Yeah...."
Quatre and Wufei hurried through the park gates.
Meanwhile in the Lemur City Park. Manager's Office.
Duo searched through a storage bin, which was placed conveniently next to a typewriter. Heero was in the middle of the cabin den going through various papers he found on the table. Duo did find it kind of odd that Heero a tad bit more concerned with playing secretary rather than mercenary...
Could Quatre be telling the truth? Duo thought. Nah!!! He'd killed me a long while ago. Besides he could've let the mole eat me—ergo, not waste any ammo killing me. Hmph, he could just eaten me like that damn mole---carnivorous creep---
"Duo."
Duo dropped everything. "Wha?!?"
Heero continued scanning through the papers as he spoke. "Did anything happen while you were with Mr. Winner and Mr. Chang?"
Oh shit!!! What to say?!?! Fuck!!! Why can't I answer!!!! "Uhm... I just got separated. We were ambushed by some zombies and......"
Heero's eyes left the papers. "Duo."
"....W-what?!" Duo wanted to run and hide caused he really sucked at telling lies.
"You are a terrible liar, Duo." (Author's note: See?) Heero continued to interrogate. "Did Quatre tell you anything?"
"Uhm... Well..."
"There's no need to lie. I followed you a short while before you were attacked by my dinner, Duo." Heero revealed. He finished scanning through his papers and started reloading his Enhanced Desert Eagle. "In fact I've been following you since you separated from the Preventers." He slowly got up from the table...
"Eyagh!!!!" Duo yelped. He got up from the floor and slowly started to creep as far away from Heero as possible. "Why did you ask?!?!?! Why are you following me!!! You're gonna kill me—You crazy son-of-a-bitch!!!"
Duo looked over to his left and spotted a lead pipe. Hey! That might do the trick! He made a mad dash....
Heero calmly walked towards him....
Duo grabbed the lead pipe. "Stay away, mothafucker—OR---"
Heero was a few feet away, beside one of the table chairs (Author's note: Okay, this isn't a good thing...). He smirked, "Duo, what are you doing?"
"I'm about to hit a homerun with your fucking head, if you come any closer!!!" Duo warned. "Now stay---- OW!!!"
Within a matter of nanoseconds Duo caught that GAWD DAMN table chair in his chest (Author's note: Y'See?!) and went flying through a window!
CRASH!!!!
4:27 AM. Lemur City Park. Walkway.
The Preventers were well on their way to the Spooky Factory, when they heard glass breaking from a distance.
"What was that noise?!" Quatre uttered.
"We're armed like a brigade---Let's check it out!" Wufei ordered.
Wufei and Quatre hurried back towards the park.
"We must've missed something. Duo may still be alive!" Wufei huffed. Running with a Gatling Gun can be quite burdensome.
They finally approached the Manager's Office and discovered something or someone had broken out of one of the windows. Quatre hurried to the door and kicked it down. Wufei followed. They saw a bunch of papers upon the table and a few weapons left behind. The Enhanced Shotgun, Duo carried was among them. Pieces of a table chair were in front of the smashed window. Quatre ran towards the window and looked outside.
"They were here!" Quatre exclaimed.
Wufei looked through the papers upon the table. He read a few lines and frowned. "I was kinda hoping you were wrong. These papers state they want us (Preventers) alive and all but ONE of the mercs dead. Can you guess which one?"
Quatre nodded, "Heero Yuy: He's in training. He's going to be an agent for Parasol." But he doesn't want to go through with it anymore....
"Oh shit Quatre, look out!!!!" Wufei called out.
"SPARKLES!!!!"
Quatre barely dodged the ARCHFIEND's massive tentacle spiking through the damaged window. He crawled under the table as Wufei opened fire upon the ARCHFIEND. Shower of bullets seemed to just piss the monster off. It smashed through the remains of the window and stomped through the office after Quatre. It suddenly lifted the table up and tossed it towards Wufei.
"Fuuuuck!!!" Wu-lan Rouge yelled as he tossed the weapon aside and went hauling ass out the door. He looked back inside and noticed he had tossed the still fully loaded weapon in a nearby fireplace. "Oh shiiiiit!"
Quatre looked back and noticed what his superior had done and also took off like the wind.....
KA-BOOOOOOM!!!!! The blast sent the ARCHFIEND flying into Quatre, who went flying into Wufei. All three went flying towards the walkway...
"OOOOOWWW!" Wufei went sliding across the walkway and rolled out onto the bridge. "Oh gawd the pain..."
"AAAAAAAyh!!!" Quatre flipped over Wufei and went rolling past the bridge and slid into a wall.
The ARCHFIEND didn't go that far but he landed close enough to Wufei to freak him out. "GRRRRRRRRR......!!!"
"Oh damn!!!" Wufei exclaimed. He scampered to his feet and ran down the bridge.
The ARCHFIEND was quick-smart!!! It leapt into the air and landed right in front of Wufei.
"Oooph!!!" Wufie's sudden stop made him fall on his bum. "What the fuck!?!?"
Quatre sat up from the ground and saw that Preventer Dragon was in serious trouble. "Oh shit!! Chang jump over the bridge!!!" He took out his grenade launcher---
SQUEAK!!! Trowa landed right in front of Quatre and kicked the weapon right out of his hand.
"Ack!!!" Quatre screamed. "What are you doing here!?!?! You're alive---MMRPH!!!"
Trowa grabbed Quatre by the face and tossed him off the bridge and into a waterfall.
"yAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
"Quatre!!!" Wufei shouted to his soon to be drowned friend. He looked straight ahead and saw the ARCHFIEND and Trowa were coming closer. He took out a katana and got ready to fight to the death..... (Mainly his own). "Alright BASTARDS!!! I'M NOT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!!!"
Suddenly the ARCHFIEND swung his tentacle arm at Wufei. The Nagging Dragon took a swing----
"AAAAAAARGH!!!!" The ARCHFIEND hollered in pain. His mutated arm went flying, pieces of it were still wiggling landed on the bridge.
Suddenly Trowa took to the air and landed in front of Wufei. The Remaining Preventer took another swing, but Trowa dodge it and punched Wufei dead in the gut. He staggered backwards dropping the katana. Trowa rushed Wufie and went to punch him in the face, but Wufei blocked and elbowed Trowa in the neck!!! Trowa immediately moved away to catch his breath. Wufei didn't give Trowa a chance to catch jack shit---he ran up to him and spun kicked Trowa to the side!!!! Trowa slammed into the railing, and Wufei continued the assault by grabbing his legs and flipping him over the bridge!!!
".....................!!!!!!"
"Bye-Bye, BITCH!" Wufei grunted.
"Roooooooooaaar!!!!" The ARCHFIEND was pissed. He already up on his feet when punched Wufei in his back---- with his good hand.
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!"
Just as Wufei left the scene---- unwillingly---- Duo came running out. He scampered out onto the bridge and froze upon seeing the ARCHFIEND. He was running for his life from Heero only to run into the One-Eyed Tyrant.... (uhm... that didn't sound right......)
"Oh....FUCK!!!!" Duo exclaimed. He started to go back. "Oh FUCKING SHIT!!!"
Heero emerged from the walkway. He, too walked out onto the bridge. "I'm not going to kill you, Duo--- HOLY SHIT!!!! The ARCHFIEND is ALIVE?!?!" He also noticed the ARCHFIEND. "Get out of the way Duo."
"You're just gonna kill me ANYWAY!!!! I'm not listening to you!!!"
Heero had his target, now if only Duo would just---- "MOVE!!!! BAKA!!!"
"TWO!!!!" The ARCHFIEND instantly recognized Duo and went for the kill. He grabbed Duo by the braid and lifted him up. He held Duo over the side of the bridge, a few hundred feet over raging waterfall. "SPARKLES!!!!!" The Gigantic Freak STILL wants that club shirt on Heero!!!!!
Heero---now armed with a Rocket Launcher—grunted in ire. "He's the only reason you're not dead right now. You drop him and I'm going ape shit with a LOT of napalm rockets--- YOU ARE NOT GETTING MY GAWD DAMN SHIRT!!!"
"I am!!!! It's MY fucking shirt!!!!" Duo shouted, kicking at the ARCHFIEND!!!! Even though he was no condition to go talking shit—he also REALLY wanted that shirt. "Let me go!!!!"
Suddenly the ARCHFIEND's severed arm grew back!!! It formed into multiple tentacles that started to twist together and form one large, sharp, spear. He slowly moved it towards Duo's head.
"HN?!?!" Heero steadied his aim. He soon realized this creature meant business at the cost of his only friend. "ALRGHT!!!! ALRIGHT!!! SHIT!!!" He dropped the weapon and started removing the club shirt....
Duo began stretching for the end of his braid. He began to untie the band that kept the brown mess together. Shit!!! I'm gonna die!!! But, I can't let this big freak squeeze his big ass into the kewlest shirt ever!!!! Suddenly the band was off, and the hair instantly starting unraveling.... "Hey!!! Bitch!!! You lose!!!" With that being said; Duo instantly smashed his boot into the ARCHFIEND's head and fell out of the mutant's grip! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!"
"Hn?!?" Heero was at his last button when he saw that Duo was gone... in a plummeting large mass of brown hair. He REALLY should consider cutting that... He quickly grabbed the Rocket Launcher and blasted the ARCHFIEND in the face!!!!
The ARCHFIEND went flying all the way down the bridge and crashed into the building on the other side. He went from huge towering hunk of mutated sinew to a pile of smoldering..... goo in a matter of seconds...
Heero stalked towards the charred remains of the ARCHFIEND. He took out his Enhanced Desert Eagle emptied a whole clip on the remains. "And THAT was for Duo, FUCK-HEAD." he uttered. Satisfied, he walked towards the Spooky Factory and continued on with his mission.