Title: Bring me to life
Disclaimer: I do not own BTVS Or Angel, all belong to and reserved Joss Weddon
Rating R to NC-17
Beta: Maribel, and BrownEye Helped me along the line!!! And SpikeAngel1 helped me a million times
Also Note Songs that are in this story are from Evanescence, Kasey Chamber's, and Vitimam C. And The Graudtion, Speach half from NBK! And Some Part's from BTVS!! You'll see.,
Author Note: NC-17 part's can be found at my site! http://www.geocities.com/strangegirl53/
Also Note Chapter 16- 20 are mostly smut!!
Chapter 21
*********After School!
Buffy, Xander, Oz and Willow were all hanging out in the school library with all the video making stuff. They were going to help Buffy edit her school video for the pre-graduation party.
"So I need help picking the sucky parts and taking them out. Then I can add the takes that Willow took from the drama club." They all nodded and Buffy pressed play. Shots of Angel and the Varsity football team celebrating their big win. And zoom ins and out's of the cheerleading squad.
"Spike, stop checking out the cheerleaders!" Buffy's voice said in the background.
"Just messing around, Luv. Plus…" The camera turned to Buffy who was laughing. "They don't come close to you."
She blushed, then shots from the Bronze parties came on. Buffy dancing with Willow which Spike had videotaped. They both waved to him then it cut to Anya and Xander making out. Anya seeing this, waved to the camera and Xander smirked and grabbed Anya. Who was still waving at the camera? Then shots of Spike coming out of the shower.
"Angel, what the hell are you doing, perv?" Spike said only wrapped in a towel, hair all wet. "Shut the bloody thing off!"
Then came some shots of a dark room. "Doesn't she look pretty when she's asleep? Like a little princess." Spike's voice whispered. "Doesn't she look cuter when she's sleeping? Not yelling at me."
The next part, Buffy didn't remember filming. It was dark and the not so dark lights were bright. It was Spike's kitchen and Anya and Spike were on the kitchen table. Anya was naked, lying beneath Spike. Moans and groans were coming from both of them. Screaming and panting were also heard.
"Ahh Spike!" Anya's voice screamed. "Harder! Harder!"
"Like this? You like it like this?" he shouted. Soon after the tape went black, it lasted at least five minutes. Everyone stayed quiet, no one talked.
Xander closed his eyes. Willow looked at him; she could tell he was trying his hardest not to cry. Buffy had gotten up and took out the tape and just threw it on the floor. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do. She felt rage and hate and betrayal. She couldn't believe what she just saw. It was like a nightmare and she couldn't wake up. It was just there like a slap across the face.
"Buffy I... I have no idea what to say," Willow frowned. She didn't understand what had happen between Spike and Buffy, but the look on her face when she saw the video was so pained. Xander was pacing around now.
"Guys help," everyone looked at Xander. He had his arm inside the wall. "I'm stuck."
"Xander your arm... it's in the wall!" Willow shouted.
"I can see that."
"Does it hurt?" Oz asked.
"Not as much as Spike's going to, when you help me get my arm free." He stated. Willow and Oz both looked at each other and Willow turned around to see Buffy. But she was already gone.
"Oh Buffy," Willow frowned.
*******
"Anya, what happened between us last night... no one can know, alright? I mean we were pretty drunk and it was a huge mistake," Spike explained.
"I know. Xander called me last night and left a song telling me how much he loves me and that Cordelia didn't mean anything to him. That she was his past and I'm his future" she frowned at the thought.
"So, when you're around Willow, Xander, Buffy, even Oz - act normal like nothing happened and no one has to ever know." Spike sighed. He saw Buffy walk towards them. "Start the plan now," he whispered, she nodded.
"Hey Buffy, have you seen Xander?" Anya asked, giving a fake smile. Without even thinking Buffy's right hand came and slapped Anya right across the face. "You hit me! Why did you hit me?" she pouted touching her burning
cheek. "That hurts."
"Hurts? That hurts? You think a slap on the face hurts?" she cried. "You have no idea what pain is."
"What the bloody hell is the matter with you?" Spike snapped. "Can't I just talk to someone without you going all crazy?" She slapped him across his face as hard as she could. "Bloody hell! What was that for?" He asked holding his cheek, like Anya.
"Don't play dumb! Like you don't know what you did." Buffy shouted.
"Are you insane or something," Spike asked quickly.
Buffy laughed, "Was she good Spike? Was she everything you hoped for? Or in other words, was she better than me? I mean I didn't finish to see the whole show but I got the main idea." Then it hit him, somehow she knew about him and Anya.
"Buffy I-" he began, but didn't get to finish as he felt a sharp pain in his stomach. Spike crouched over and slid down the lockers in pain.
"Get up! Is this all you got? Get up, do something!" Xander screamed kicking Spike in the stomach again. Then Anya pushed Xander away from Spike, letting Spike sit himself up against the lockers.
"Xander, no! Stop it!" Anya shouted. "Xander I…" She tried to speak but she was not really sure what to say anymore. Xander's eyes were pretty red and his fist had blood on it. Xander looked at her.
"Don't even try to deny it, 'cause I saw it all. The whole beautiful show." Xander said in disgust. Spike finally had gotten himself off the ground and was now standing up.
"How...?" She asked.
"It's all on tape. Well the part of you naked on the table just screaming each other's names, I mean. It was kind of hard to miss. And I'm taking this happened last night because of the date and all," Xander replied.
"It was just, it...it was just a thing. I...I felt bad, and he was just...there," Anya tried to explain.
"Oh, oh, okay! You had to do it because he was there. Like Mt. Everest, like I used to be, that's all," Xander laughed bitterly.
"You weren't there. You cheated on me Xander! With my cousin, I don't owe you anything."
"So, you go out and bang the first guy you can find?" He sadly asked.
"Where do you get off judging me?" She said defending herself.
"When this is your solution to our problems. I hurt you and you hurt me back? Very mature." he snarled.
"No, the mature solution is for you to spend your whole life telling stupid, pointless jokes! So that no one will notice that you are just a scared, insecure little boy!" she shouted.
"I'm not joking. Now you wanted me to feel something? Congratulations, it worked. I look at you...and I feel sick, 'cause you had sex with him when I thought you actually loved me." Xander said in disgust, walking away. Anya leaned herself against the lockers. Buffy then walked up to Anya.
"Hurts doesn't it?" Buffy said, then she looked at Spike and walked out the hallway.
********************
Buffy left the school, not really sure where to go. She didn't want to stay home but she didn't want to have a lot of people around. She took a walk through the park, she'd thought maybe she should hit the Bronze and find her a guy to have meaningless sex with. It sounded like a good idea, but Buffy knew she couldn't go through with it, so the walk will have to do.
After spending about 20 minutes on the swing thinking of what to do next, Buffy wanted to cry and scream. Maybe both.
"Shouldn't be out this late, don't know what kind of things go bump in the night." Angel's voice came from behind. His hands resting on the ropes of the swing.
"Angel," she whispered. She looked up and saw him staring down at her. He frowned, she looked so sad, so hurt.
"Buffy, what's the matter?" Angel's very concerned voice asked. Then more tears started forming in her eyes. She stood up and started walking away, he walked after her.
"I'm guessing you don't know?" Buffy asked finally.
"Know what?" Angel asked concerned.
"Spike slept with Xander's girlfriend the other night." She whispered.
"How do you know?" Angel asked, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"The videotape, I'm guessing it was left on somehow. Xander, Willow, Oz and me got to watch the show at school. And I feel betrayed... but Angel...I still love him. Am I stupid?" she cried. He brought her into a hug.
"No, you aren't stupid."
"I want to hate him, Angel! I'm trying to... but I can't," Buffy whimpered into his shoulder. "I just can't."
************ Later That Night
After Angel walked Buffy home, he wanted to have a few words with his brother. He walked upstairs and heard music blasting from behind the closed door. He sighed, opening it and saw Spike lying down with a few empty beer bottles beside the bed. His eyes were closed but he was not asleep.
"So...did it help?" Angel asked kicking the bottles with the tip of his shoes.
"It didn't hurt," Spike said.
"I just came from the park and I heard a few things. So I decided to come here and find out the truth. So, from what I understand, everyone's pretty mad at you, huh?" Angel replied.
"Kind of knew that already. But thanks for reminding me." Spike snapped.
"So, was it worth it? What you did with Anya?" Angel asked.
"How did you know?" Spike asked quickly, opening his eyes.
"Do you love her?" Angel asked, ignoring his questions.
"Oh, no. No! It was just a...it was a bad day, for both of us. And we had a few drinks and things just-"
"Not Anya, you idiot! Buffy. I mean do you really love Buffy? And if you say you do, then how could you do that to her? I'm not sure what went on between you two, but what you did tonight..." Angel's voice trailed off. "If you wanted to hurt Buffy, congratulations! It worked. Because she looked like hell on earth."
"So, you saw Buffy tonight did you? I guess you and her are back on the boat, now that you have her back everything's all right with the world," Spike laughed bitterly.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Angel shouted.
"Come on Angel! Last night I watched you and Buffy making out."
"Yeah, we kissed. It didn't mean anything! And of course I wanted to move things upstairs but she didn't want to. Because for some crazy reason she didn't want to hurt you. She loves you, I mean… she's been in love with you
since she came back. I knew that...but I don't think you knew that."
Spike laughed, "She doesn't love me."
"You are so stupid! Because like it or not, she's in love with you! Even after the whole Anya thing. She told me how bad she wants to hate you! But she can't... because she loves you too damn much."
"I don't believe you," he replied, closing his eyes once more.
"I don't care if you do or don't. It's true!" Angel sighed and left Spike to think.
Spike suddenly felt sick. Not only did he ruin his chance with Buffy but also he even made an enemy of one of his childhood friends. She watched him sleep with one of her friends. No wonder she had so much pain in her eyes.
*********** Over The Weekend
Buffy was sitting on her sofa eating a whole carton of vanilla ice cream and channel surfing when she heard her front door being pounded on. She frowned, threw the remote on the couch and placed the carton on the table. She walked over to the door and heard Spike's voice.
"Buffy please, open the door, please," he begged. "I have to talk to you please, just open the door please," he repeated over and over again. Finally she gave in, opened the door and saw Spike standing there, he looked like a mess.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, she laughed.
"You're sorry? I'm sorry I let myself fall for you. I opened myself to you, I told you things, I trusted you with everything and I never believed you would hurt me and guess what? You did, more than anyone could ever do, Spike," she whispered.
"Buffy, I saw you and Angel kissing that night and then after that fight we had, I lost it. And then I found Anya who was feeling bad too, but I didn't expect to sleep with her, it was a mistake, it didn't mean anything, believe me."
"You didn't trust me Spike, that's your problem."
"I know."
"But that doesn't matter and what happen with Angel… it doesn't compare with whatever you did with Anya." Spike fell to his knees in front of her, holding her hand to his face. She was crying again after she'd promise herself she wouldn't, she looked down and Spike was crying too.
"Please Buffy, I'm sorry, please, forgive me."
"Spike."
"Buffy, don't do this, don't shut me out of your life," he begged.
"I can forgive you for not trusting me," she said looking into his blue eyes, tears falling down her face down her cheeks, "but I can't forgive what you did with Anya. You want to know something? When I close my eyes, do you know what I see? I see Anya and you on that kitchen table and I makes me sick I just can't forgive that, I won't forgive that. Please leave," she whispered.
"Buffy?"
"Please Spike, please, just go," she cried harder. He walked out the door but he didn't leave.
"I love you Buffy, do you hear me? I LOVE YOU BUFFY SUMMERS!" he cried.
"I love you too," she whispered.
Disclaimer: I do not own BTVS Or Angel, all belong to and reserved Joss Weddon
Rating R to NC-17
Beta: Maribel, and BrownEye Helped me along the line!!! And SpikeAngel1 helped me a million times
Also Note Songs that are in this story are from Evanescence, Kasey Chamber's, and Vitimam C. And The Graudtion, Speach half from NBK! And Some Part's from BTVS!! You'll see.,
Author Note: NC-17 part's can be found at my site! http://www.geocities.com/strangegirl53/
Also Note Chapter 16- 20 are mostly smut!!
Chapter 21
*********After School!
Buffy, Xander, Oz and Willow were all hanging out in the school library with all the video making stuff. They were going to help Buffy edit her school video for the pre-graduation party.
"So I need help picking the sucky parts and taking them out. Then I can add the takes that Willow took from the drama club." They all nodded and Buffy pressed play. Shots of Angel and the Varsity football team celebrating their big win. And zoom ins and out's of the cheerleading squad.
"Spike, stop checking out the cheerleaders!" Buffy's voice said in the background.
"Just messing around, Luv. Plus…" The camera turned to Buffy who was laughing. "They don't come close to you."
She blushed, then shots from the Bronze parties came on. Buffy dancing with Willow which Spike had videotaped. They both waved to him then it cut to Anya and Xander making out. Anya seeing this, waved to the camera and Xander smirked and grabbed Anya. Who was still waving at the camera? Then shots of Spike coming out of the shower.
"Angel, what the hell are you doing, perv?" Spike said only wrapped in a towel, hair all wet. "Shut the bloody thing off!"
Then came some shots of a dark room. "Doesn't she look pretty when she's asleep? Like a little princess." Spike's voice whispered. "Doesn't she look cuter when she's sleeping? Not yelling at me."
The next part, Buffy didn't remember filming. It was dark and the not so dark lights were bright. It was Spike's kitchen and Anya and Spike were on the kitchen table. Anya was naked, lying beneath Spike. Moans and groans were coming from both of them. Screaming and panting were also heard.
"Ahh Spike!" Anya's voice screamed. "Harder! Harder!"
"Like this? You like it like this?" he shouted. Soon after the tape went black, it lasted at least five minutes. Everyone stayed quiet, no one talked.
Xander closed his eyes. Willow looked at him; she could tell he was trying his hardest not to cry. Buffy had gotten up and took out the tape and just threw it on the floor. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do. She felt rage and hate and betrayal. She couldn't believe what she just saw. It was like a nightmare and she couldn't wake up. It was just there like a slap across the face.
"Buffy I... I have no idea what to say," Willow frowned. She didn't understand what had happen between Spike and Buffy, but the look on her face when she saw the video was so pained. Xander was pacing around now.
"Guys help," everyone looked at Xander. He had his arm inside the wall. "I'm stuck."
"Xander your arm... it's in the wall!" Willow shouted.
"I can see that."
"Does it hurt?" Oz asked.
"Not as much as Spike's going to, when you help me get my arm free." He stated. Willow and Oz both looked at each other and Willow turned around to see Buffy. But she was already gone.
"Oh Buffy," Willow frowned.
*******
"Anya, what happened between us last night... no one can know, alright? I mean we were pretty drunk and it was a huge mistake," Spike explained.
"I know. Xander called me last night and left a song telling me how much he loves me and that Cordelia didn't mean anything to him. That she was his past and I'm his future" she frowned at the thought.
"So, when you're around Willow, Xander, Buffy, even Oz - act normal like nothing happened and no one has to ever know." Spike sighed. He saw Buffy walk towards them. "Start the plan now," he whispered, she nodded.
"Hey Buffy, have you seen Xander?" Anya asked, giving a fake smile. Without even thinking Buffy's right hand came and slapped Anya right across the face. "You hit me! Why did you hit me?" she pouted touching her burning
cheek. "That hurts."
"Hurts? That hurts? You think a slap on the face hurts?" she cried. "You have no idea what pain is."
"What the bloody hell is the matter with you?" Spike snapped. "Can't I just talk to someone without you going all crazy?" She slapped him across his face as hard as she could. "Bloody hell! What was that for?" He asked holding his cheek, like Anya.
"Don't play dumb! Like you don't know what you did." Buffy shouted.
"Are you insane or something," Spike asked quickly.
Buffy laughed, "Was she good Spike? Was she everything you hoped for? Or in other words, was she better than me? I mean I didn't finish to see the whole show but I got the main idea." Then it hit him, somehow she knew about him and Anya.
"Buffy I-" he began, but didn't get to finish as he felt a sharp pain in his stomach. Spike crouched over and slid down the lockers in pain.
"Get up! Is this all you got? Get up, do something!" Xander screamed kicking Spike in the stomach again. Then Anya pushed Xander away from Spike, letting Spike sit himself up against the lockers.
"Xander, no! Stop it!" Anya shouted. "Xander I…" She tried to speak but she was not really sure what to say anymore. Xander's eyes were pretty red and his fist had blood on it. Xander looked at her.
"Don't even try to deny it, 'cause I saw it all. The whole beautiful show." Xander said in disgust. Spike finally had gotten himself off the ground and was now standing up.
"How...?" She asked.
"It's all on tape. Well the part of you naked on the table just screaming each other's names, I mean. It was kind of hard to miss. And I'm taking this happened last night because of the date and all," Xander replied.
"It was just, it...it was just a thing. I...I felt bad, and he was just...there," Anya tried to explain.
"Oh, oh, okay! You had to do it because he was there. Like Mt. Everest, like I used to be, that's all," Xander laughed bitterly.
"You weren't there. You cheated on me Xander! With my cousin, I don't owe you anything."
"So, you go out and bang the first guy you can find?" He sadly asked.
"Where do you get off judging me?" She said defending herself.
"When this is your solution to our problems. I hurt you and you hurt me back? Very mature." he snarled.
"No, the mature solution is for you to spend your whole life telling stupid, pointless jokes! So that no one will notice that you are just a scared, insecure little boy!" she shouted.
"I'm not joking. Now you wanted me to feel something? Congratulations, it worked. I look at you...and I feel sick, 'cause you had sex with him when I thought you actually loved me." Xander said in disgust, walking away. Anya leaned herself against the lockers. Buffy then walked up to Anya.
"Hurts doesn't it?" Buffy said, then she looked at Spike and walked out the hallway.
********************
Buffy left the school, not really sure where to go. She didn't want to stay home but she didn't want to have a lot of people around. She took a walk through the park, she'd thought maybe she should hit the Bronze and find her a guy to have meaningless sex with. It sounded like a good idea, but Buffy knew she couldn't go through with it, so the walk will have to do.
After spending about 20 minutes on the swing thinking of what to do next, Buffy wanted to cry and scream. Maybe both.
"Shouldn't be out this late, don't know what kind of things go bump in the night." Angel's voice came from behind. His hands resting on the ropes of the swing.
"Angel," she whispered. She looked up and saw him staring down at her. He frowned, she looked so sad, so hurt.
"Buffy, what's the matter?" Angel's very concerned voice asked. Then more tears started forming in her eyes. She stood up and started walking away, he walked after her.
"I'm guessing you don't know?" Buffy asked finally.
"Know what?" Angel asked concerned.
"Spike slept with Xander's girlfriend the other night." She whispered.
"How do you know?" Angel asked, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"The videotape, I'm guessing it was left on somehow. Xander, Willow, Oz and me got to watch the show at school. And I feel betrayed... but Angel...I still love him. Am I stupid?" she cried. He brought her into a hug.
"No, you aren't stupid."
"I want to hate him, Angel! I'm trying to... but I can't," Buffy whimpered into his shoulder. "I just can't."
************ Later That Night
After Angel walked Buffy home, he wanted to have a few words with his brother. He walked upstairs and heard music blasting from behind the closed door. He sighed, opening it and saw Spike lying down with a few empty beer bottles beside the bed. His eyes were closed but he was not asleep.
"So...did it help?" Angel asked kicking the bottles with the tip of his shoes.
"It didn't hurt," Spike said.
"I just came from the park and I heard a few things. So I decided to come here and find out the truth. So, from what I understand, everyone's pretty mad at you, huh?" Angel replied.
"Kind of knew that already. But thanks for reminding me." Spike snapped.
"So, was it worth it? What you did with Anya?" Angel asked.
"How did you know?" Spike asked quickly, opening his eyes.
"Do you love her?" Angel asked, ignoring his questions.
"Oh, no. No! It was just a...it was a bad day, for both of us. And we had a few drinks and things just-"
"Not Anya, you idiot! Buffy. I mean do you really love Buffy? And if you say you do, then how could you do that to her? I'm not sure what went on between you two, but what you did tonight..." Angel's voice trailed off. "If you wanted to hurt Buffy, congratulations! It worked. Because she looked like hell on earth."
"So, you saw Buffy tonight did you? I guess you and her are back on the boat, now that you have her back everything's all right with the world," Spike laughed bitterly.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Angel shouted.
"Come on Angel! Last night I watched you and Buffy making out."
"Yeah, we kissed. It didn't mean anything! And of course I wanted to move things upstairs but she didn't want to. Because for some crazy reason she didn't want to hurt you. She loves you, I mean… she's been in love with you
since she came back. I knew that...but I don't think you knew that."
Spike laughed, "She doesn't love me."
"You are so stupid! Because like it or not, she's in love with you! Even after the whole Anya thing. She told me how bad she wants to hate you! But she can't... because she loves you too damn much."
"I don't believe you," he replied, closing his eyes once more.
"I don't care if you do or don't. It's true!" Angel sighed and left Spike to think.
Spike suddenly felt sick. Not only did he ruin his chance with Buffy but also he even made an enemy of one of his childhood friends. She watched him sleep with one of her friends. No wonder she had so much pain in her eyes.
*********** Over The Weekend
Buffy was sitting on her sofa eating a whole carton of vanilla ice cream and channel surfing when she heard her front door being pounded on. She frowned, threw the remote on the couch and placed the carton on the table. She walked over to the door and heard Spike's voice.
"Buffy please, open the door, please," he begged. "I have to talk to you please, just open the door please," he repeated over and over again. Finally she gave in, opened the door and saw Spike standing there, he looked like a mess.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, she laughed.
"You're sorry? I'm sorry I let myself fall for you. I opened myself to you, I told you things, I trusted you with everything and I never believed you would hurt me and guess what? You did, more than anyone could ever do, Spike," she whispered.
"Buffy, I saw you and Angel kissing that night and then after that fight we had, I lost it. And then I found Anya who was feeling bad too, but I didn't expect to sleep with her, it was a mistake, it didn't mean anything, believe me."
"You didn't trust me Spike, that's your problem."
"I know."
"But that doesn't matter and what happen with Angel… it doesn't compare with whatever you did with Anya." Spike fell to his knees in front of her, holding her hand to his face. She was crying again after she'd promise herself she wouldn't, she looked down and Spike was crying too.
"Please Buffy, I'm sorry, please, forgive me."
"Spike."
"Buffy, don't do this, don't shut me out of your life," he begged.
"I can forgive you for not trusting me," she said looking into his blue eyes, tears falling down her face down her cheeks, "but I can't forgive what you did with Anya. You want to know something? When I close my eyes, do you know what I see? I see Anya and you on that kitchen table and I makes me sick I just can't forgive that, I won't forgive that. Please leave," she whispered.
"Buffy?"
"Please Spike, please, just go," she cried harder. He walked out the door but he didn't leave.
"I love you Buffy, do you hear me? I LOVE YOU BUFFY SUMMERS!" he cried.
"I love you too," she whispered.