Chapter 18
Enter the 6th Wheel...?
6:10AM. SPOOKY FACTORY. DOCKSIDE...... (B-but this is in a landlocked state)----WHAT-THE-DUDE!?!!?
Wufei awoke and noticed.... he was STILL wearing his makeshift...... diaper. He looked around and noticed he was in an office. He got up from the office chair and walked around. Wufei approached the door and overheard a voice.....
"What do we have here? Two of my former subordinates ready and willing to help Parasol with their need for specimens....."
Wufei recognized that creepy voice from anywhere. Captain Zechs!!!! He's ALIVE??!?!
Quatre's voice broke Wufei's thought. "You asshole!!! We are NOT willing to do ANYTHING for you or Parasol. We are MORE than ready to kick your ass!!!!"
Zechs laughed, "Really? It looks like Trowa is ready to get away from you. Besides, you two and that bitchy Wufei would be perfect samples for the next Parasol project."
Bitchy?!?! ME?!?! Wufei quickly glanced around the office for a weapon or something. They obviously expected him to stay out longer than this.... I've got to do SOMETHING!!!!
Meanwhile, Heero and Duo hauled the two Preventers towards a cargo boat. Zechs headed towards the office to deal with Wufei... As the Platinum Haired Traitor entered the office he was suddenly ambushed by Wufei with an office chair in the face----
"What was that?" Heero called out. He looked towards the office and saw that the lights went out.
As soon as they finished dumping and locking the Preventers inside the cargo area of the ship, Heero and Duo left the ship to check on Zechs.
When they approached the office door, Zechs walked out. Although he looked a tad roughed up..... and a bit shorter.....
"UHM..... Mr. Zechs?" Heero stared. "Are you okay?
Duo also noticed how odd Zechs looked. "Where's Wu-Wu?!"
gRRRRR....."He tried to attack me. I had to kill him...... I snapped his little neck. Don't worry..... you 're still getting paid, boys. Now.... let's go." Zechs ordered the boys to operate the ship.
Heero and Duo looked at each other and shrugged.
6:30am PARASOL CARGO SHIP. Main deck.
Time was of the essence. Wufei HAD to find a way off the ship and to safety before all hell breaks loose. He left the main deck to have a look around...
"Zechs?"
"What!!! I mean yes?"
Heero spoke, "We've approached the other side of the artificial beach and have now docked to a refueling area."
Zechs nodded. "Excellent."
Heero stood there. "Sir?"
"I said excellent. You did excellent—You get bonuses!"
"Do you want us to re-fuel the chopper aboard the ship and put the specimens in it or what?"
"Yes!"
"Hn...." Heero arched his brow and spoke. "I'll get to it, Zechs."
"Right." Wait a minute!?!? A chopper?!?! I can operate those!!! "Let's go."
"Don't you have to make some calls to some Swiss Bank accounts?" Heero reminded.
"Oh.... yes." He's on to me---better seem authentic. "Don't forget, you also have to deal with Duo."
Heero froze. "But you said, I didn't have to kill him, sir."
"Uhm.... welll..... I STILL need 3 specimens for this..... uhm.... experiment. So get to it....... A-AFTER you work on that chopper. GOT IT!??"
Heero reluctantly replied, "Yes.... sir. Got it." He left the main deck.
Meanwhile—Just outside the Main Deck.
Duo was aghast. "I am like SO fucking aghast!!!" He said. He took off running before Heero could make it around the corner.
Heero approached the corner. "Hn?"
6:35am. Inside the Cargo area.
"Tr-Trowa!!! Stop running!!! We have to get out of here!!!" Quatre huffed chasing after Trowa within the tiny cargo bay. "Will you STOP the FUCKING RUNNING—No!!! Sorry! Sorry! I mean please---- GOT YOU!!!"
SQUEAK!!!! He tackled Trowa slamming him to the floor. The Unibanged Preventer was too frantic to outmatch Quatre's weight pinning him---- maybe it's the cookies....
"Oh gawd!!!! GAWD!!!!! NO!! NO!!! DON'T HURT ME—PLEASE!!!!! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYE!!!! waaaaaa-aaaaaah...."
"What the HELL did I do to you?!" Quatre sighed in annoyance. This was his entire fault... somehow. "Come on, Trowa—we need to work together!"
Trowa continued bawling like a toddler. "Get off!!!! Get off of me!!!! You—You monster!!!!!"
Quatre protested, "What the hell is your problem!!!? Come on, Let's work together!! We have to do this... HEAVEN'S sake---- this doesn't sound right... Hey, stop wriggling---- NO, SERIOUSLY—STOP!!!"
"AHEM—Uhm I don't mean to interrupt the loving—but WE ALL need to get the hell off this crazy boat!" Duo announced.
Quatre stood up and argued, "Get your mind out of the gutter!!! He's my superior!!!" He pointed to the teen scampering away,towards a dark corner. "Trowa?"
"Not from where I'm standing, dude." Duo shook his head and tossed Quatre a gun. "But—HEY!!! Ass on the field—play ball..... (or should I make that plural?)."
"Piss off..." Quatre rolled his eyes and aimed his gun at Duo. "Wait a minute! WHY are YOU tossing ME a gun?"
Trowa eyed the magnum in Quatre's hand. "H-Hey!! I want a gun, too."
Both guys ignored the Vinyl-Clad Preventer and continued their conversation.
Duo confessed, "Okay—I was a TOTAL ASS!!! I REALLY thought Heero was my frin!!!"
"And?!?" Quatre gestured.
"Heero's going to kill me like Zechs ordered." Duo confessed. "I-I thought we were gonna take all the money and dip---"
"We: as in YOU and HEERO?!?" Quatre retorted. "You mean you and Heero were gonna leave us to fucking DIE?!?!"
"Well?!!!" Trowa added. "Jack-ASS!"
Quatre and Duo stared at Trowa.
"Are.... you..... okay... now..... Mr. Barton?" Quatre gawked.
Trowa scratched his head and mumbled. "I think so...." Then he took a look at his attire---" WHAT THE FUCK am I wearing??"
The HELL should we know.....
"....?" Duo and Quatre blinked several times before continuing their dialogue.
"ANYway---- You had it all wrong, Mr. Winner. Heero said he was gonna hijack the ship and chopper from Zechs."
"R-really....?" Wow, maybe my little talk with him in the elevator must've convinced his heart. "Was it because of the situation at the hospital?!?!"
"No,dude." Duo admitted.
"Oh...." Jerk....
"After the hospital incident he wanted to smash your face in and leave you to rot and die---- ESPECIALLY Wufei. It was I who begged and pleaded for you lives----- not to mention a shaken can of this!!!" Duo held out a glowing can of Satanic Pete's Billowing Brimstone Chili DELUXE (With even MORE goat meat and lard).
"Whoa!!! Get it away!" Quatre staggered back. "Were those sulfuric fumes?!?"
Trowa also stepped away and hid back in the dark corner.
Duo spoke, "Hey!!! Hey!!! It won't explode if I stuff it in my backpack!!!" He stuffed the overheating can back into his backpack.
"Oh.... 'kay.....?!?!" Quatre asked, "So.... are we escaping or what?"
"Oh! YEAH!!!! Come on!!!" Duo headed towards the cargo ladder. "Follow me."
6:39am. Outside the Cargo Storage. Ship's Deck.
Trowa was the last to emerge from the Cargo Storage, when the newly (re)formed team overheard someone on deck. They all took cover behind some boxes, to see who it was. Judging from the vast darkness and pale moonlight---- they could make out a shadow....??!?
The shadow stalked toward the control deck of the ship. It made a wet sound. SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!! slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh!!!! SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!! SPLAT!!!!! *spit continuously hits the computer screen as the author makes this very sound* (Author's note: I've played Shadow Hearts---the creepiest AND GOOFIEST scene—EVAR!!!)
"What the HELL is THAT?!?!" Quatre mouthed rather loudly.
The shadow's attention instantly went to the trio's hiding area.
"......!!!!" Trowa grunted. (Translation: Shut-up, FUCK-TARD!!!)
"Oh great just led the thing to us!!!" Duo grunted. "I thought I was to goofy one." Without warning he emerged from behind the boxes and took aim. "Let's get it on then--- DIE!!!"
The shadow shouted, "WAIT!!! It's me, Zechs!!!! Your boss!!! The guy who's going to pay you money for bringing me the Preventers--- WHAT are you laughing at?!
Duo could barley speak through the tremendous bouts of laughter. "What the hell.. happened to you----BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
The tall... and now BALD and half naked Zechs Marquise stood defiant--- glaring viciously at Duo. "STOP laughing at me you retard, and back me up---Wufei took my hair and clothes--- SHUT THE FUCK UP, Mr. Maxwell. We gotta find him—He could ruin everything!!!"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Suddenly a tug at his leg cut his hysterics. "Whaaa?!?!"
Quatre and Trowa were still in hiding. "Wait!!! Wufie is ALIVE?!!?! WE HAVE TO---"
Zechs got suspicious, "Hey! Who's down there!?! (Are you being held hostage?)"
"uH?!?"
"Stop playing dumber!!! Duo, is that Preventer Chang down there?!?!" He started walking towards Duo.
Duo aimed his gun at Zech's bald head. "Nah yo! Outta my face!"
"If you want that money you BETTER let me see what's going on." He pulled out a gun and aimed it towards Duo.
"Ewe!!" Duo gagged. "Where did you pull that from?"
"Uhm... editing mistake?!" Zechs stammered.
"How about you're a REALLY nasty man?" Heero intervened pointing at gun at the back of Zech's head. "Duo, what are you doing here?" He asked calmly, glaring at Zechs.
"DON'T worry about that, Mr. Yuy." Quatre remarked as he too loomed out of nowhere with a gun pointed at Heero's backside. " Wanted to leave ME to die, AYE? Don't make ANY rash movements!"
"You got it ALL wrong, Mr. Winner." Trowa spoked, as he too, appeared out of nowhere pointing a gun to Heero's head. "You aim for the head—Either way he's not going to be much of a problem."
(????)
"NOT so fast--- You Vinyl Clad Freak Show! You think I'd carry ONE friggin gun!?" Heero smirked—aiming a second gun to Trowa's face. "I REALLY don't like you, Squeaky."
Trowa growled.
"AHA!!!" Duo laughed, he aimed a second gun. "I ALWAYS carry two--- GET it?!?! Get it!?!? HAHAHAHA!!!"
Heero rolled his eyes and muttered, "Duo..."
Duo stopped cackling, "What, dude?"
"You're aiming the gun at your head, Duo." Heero reminded him.
"Oh SNAP!!!! I always get confused when I pull out two guns—Don't know where to aim and what to shoot... Ha-ha!" He then aimed his second gun at Heero.
"...baka...." Heero sighed in annoyance.
"At least I won't get it wrong!" Duo emphasized aiming two guns at Heero's head—he could barley see for all the guns.
"Thanks, I mean it." Heero uttered in aggravation. ....You horse's ass...
"Take this!" Zechs pulled a second gun out of.... somewhere (cuz he's ONLY wearing bikini underwear)---- and aimed it at Duo. "I guess I have to do this ALL by myself—The DEAL is off!!!"
"EWE!!! What's that SMELL?!?!" Duo freaked out!!!
"sHUT- UP!!" Zechs yelled. "I'll blow your fucking head off!!!"
"Zechs is a NASTY man!" Heero spoke out--- "He's a DIRTY man!"
He suddenly aimed his second gun at Heero (How many guns is that now?). "WHY you!!!!"
"Ugh... doesn't that hurt?!" Trowa asked. He suddenly aimed his gun at Zechs figuring Heero was dead either way.... not to mention he wanted his opponent to see what the hell he was aiming at.
"Grrr..."
"WELL, he DID hide 2 of them?" Quatre uttered.
"Curse you, albino freak!!!" Zechs switched his gun to The Blonde Terror.
"Daaaaaamn!!!" Duo gasped. "I can't imagine ONE--- but TWO?!?!"
"He probably screamed......... like jailbird BITCH!" Heero grinned behind a wall of gun barrels. I can't see shit.....
"IT DIDN'T HURT!!! YOU rat bastards!!!!" Zechs shouted.
"Wow... freakish...." Trowa muttered.
"Daaaaaaamn!!!!" Duo repeated.
"......Hn.... I was ALL wrong, he took it like a pro.... " Heero responded, with a hint of humor.
"I think I'm going to be sick...." Quatre choked.
"I think I'm going to have to shoot ALL of you fuck-tards to hell if you don't SHUT-THE-HELL-UP!!!!"
"What's with the Screwy Mexican Stand-Off?!" Wufei----er Zechs called out. "Did you two fix my chopper or what?!?"
"Wu-Wufei?!?!" Quatre gasped.
"What's on your head?!" Trowa asked.
Zechs went pale and was mortified, "M-m-my h-h-h-hair......"
"Hn..... I KNEW something was DIFFERENT!!! THAT'S why you ordered Duo dead!!!" Heero shouted. He aimed BOTH guns at Wufei!!! "You Goonie!!!"
"W-wha?!?! You don't wanna kill me?!" Duo asked, dropping his aim, relieved. "WHOOO!!! Great!!! Let's escape with the Preventers and ditch the clown, and take the money--- Hey!!! What's a Goonie?!"
'OH gawd!!! NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN--- Forget about him!!! Let's escape!!!!" Quatre argued. "Heero's a deranged lunatic!!!"
Duo was torn, "Yeah I know but.....Wh-what's a Goonie?"
Heero retorted at Quatre—ignoring Duo, "And Leather Butt ISN'T?!"
"EX-CUSE me!!! It's vinyl!" Trowa corrected him. "JACK-A-NAPE!!!" He suddenly gasped and looked around. What's happening to me.... that was SO 'Queer as Folk' just now.... It's this ship---- The ship is making me GAY!!!!
(Author's note: No offense--- Christian or not--- That show ROCKS!!!)
Zechs felt left out, he still had his guns aimed at two of the random boys. "Uhm... I don't mean to be rude, but I have guns and I'M THE VILLAIN!!!!!" He suddenly yanked the defenseless and stupefied Duo by the braid and held him hostage. "Don't move--- I'll shoot him!!!
The Braided Himbo was too excited over being frins with Heero..... AGAIN to give a care. "Dude!!! Are we cool?!? We straightl?!?! We down like 'dat!!! We dawgs?!?!"
Heero hissed, "Duo, SHUT-UP!!! I NEVER turned on you -----I saved YOUR life--- you saved MINE---" He aimed his guns at Zechs and ordered, "Let him go—BALDY—why don't you pull that stunt on ME!!!"
"Hell YEAH!!!" Duo shouted as he was being dragged off. "Kick his ASS!!! Ghetto-Style!!!"
"Hn?"
Quatre grumbled, "I saved YOUR BLOODY life, TOO!!!" He argued at Heero. Quatre aimed his gun at Zechs! He warned, "Come on Captain Zechs----"
Trowa snapped—TOTALLY ignoring Zechs,Duo, and Heero's situation "Oh, so now you're vying for Heero's attention? And what about me?! I thought I was the main purpose of your mission, Quatre?" I thought you LOVED me----- WHAT?!
Zechs growled, "Uhm....Oh yeah!!!! I'm taking Mr. Jansport with me!!!"
Heero cringed at the sudden flashback. Damnit, Duo--- Tell the FUCKING world.....
Wufei he-bitched at the Lanky Preventer, "Oh shut the fuck up Trowa!!! IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, TRICK!" Quatre's MINE!!! MINE!!! MINE!!! MINE----Uhm.... My fr-friend--- That's it..... What's GOING ON in MY HEAD?!?!
Zechs blinked several times, "Uh.. guys.... I have a hostage..."
Duo added, "Yeah!!! YOU---- kicking OUR asses throughout the ENTIRE fanfic!!!!"
"...And a GUN?" The Former Platinum-Haired Preventer kept fighting for attention—and was LOSING badly.
What are YOU talking ABOUT?!?! Quatre frowned looking around suspiciously. Fanfic—What the bloody hell??!?
Trowa put his gun away and argued in a calm low voice, "Oh give me a break!!! I was brainwashed!!!! I wasn't at my FULL potential--- You motherfuckers need to work out some more like me....
"There you go again--- ALL about YOU—Frigid Ice King-Bitch!" Wufei hissed. You think you're ALL THAT with your cute little catwoman costume—I'd look 100 times BETTER-----Doh!!!
"..." FRIGID......I'm not... frigid....Trowa pouted. I have FEELINGS damnit!!!!
"GRRR......" Zechs had his fill—he was getting attention—SOMEHOW!!! That's it I'm shooting you!"
Duo cringed, "Uh.... guys...... help please!!!!"
Heero concured, "THIS WHOLE FRIGGIN NIGHT was ALL ABOUT YOU!!! I don't know WHO was MORE of a PAIN in the ASS: YOU or the GAWD-DAMN ARCHFIEND----"
"GWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYH!!!!!" Zechs and Duo shouted."The ARCHFIEND---- THE ARCHFIEND!!!!" they voted.
"Oh..........FUCK........me..." Heero groaned.