Chapter 10
~ Three Days Later ~
Catherine stared at her through the window. She hadn't moved from the A/V lab for over four hours and didn't have more than one cup of coffee beside her. It was strange enough to see her sitting alone for so long, let alone a single cup of coffee that seemed bare touched and cold.
Walking up behind the blonde, Nick and Warrick looked on from behind. They had noticed the change too. She rarely spoke except concerning a case. She didn't go to breakfast with them any more. The last time they can think about seeing her outside the lab was serving a warrant and off duty, she never left her apartment. A few times one or the other had dropped by but she didn't entertain for long.
"She hasn't moved." Nick whispered to Warrick.
Catherine sighed and dropped her eyes to the linoleum. "She won't talk."
Warrick turned and walked away. It was upsetting them and too many people had noticed this change. It was like something died inside her and she was more than willing to let it drown.
No tech would approach her, fearful she'd erupt and bite their heads off, but she was polite the whole time. It was scary.
Doing nothing for too long was getting to them and both turned and followed Warrick's flight path as they went to the supervisor.
Grissom was holding his pen, but hadn't signed a single form in hours. He couldn't concentrate. Sara was taking over too much of his thought processes. Every time he tried to talk, he'd be interrupted and when he went to her apartment the day after his first time, he was left outside with no signs of her being home.
The large shadows over his desk made him look up and take in the sad faces of his friends and colleagues. "What's she doing?" He asked, knowing exactly what their visit was about.
Catherine turned to the others and tried to get them to leave, but they refused.
"We are not going Catherine." Nick stubbornly brushed her off and stood firm. "We know what's wrong and we can't let it go on."
Warrick nodded his agreement and sat down in a chair. "We don't place blame Griss, but you have got to know what's going on with her."
Grissom stared at them dumbstruck. "I.Wha." He shook his head and dropped his pen to the desk. "If you are suggesting I talk to her, I did."
"What did you say?" Catherine asked, concerned he had said something to cause Sara to retreat so far and so fast.
Shrugging innocently, he shook his head. "I honestly didn't say much. She kept telling me to leave, that she didn't want to see me. I tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen."
She could see he was not telling them something or not realising he wasn't telling them. "Tell us, word for word."
Grissom stared at her for a moment before turned his head and focusing on his tarantula as he thought back.
"I pleaded. for her to listen. She wouldn't listen. . I asked her what had happened. We were getting on so well in Colorado, like old times." He paused as he tried to think harder. "I tried to tell her that we were more than friends, but I don't think she understood, she said to give her time, then she tried again to get me to leave." He sighed and looked at the others.
"Anything else?" Warrick pressed.
"She was lying to get me to leave, but I didn't. I didn't want to go until we talked things out. I really wanted to sort things, fix it. I really did." He stressed to the others.
"It's ok Gil. It sounds like you resisted a lot longer than anyone else would have." Catherine offered gently, knowing he must have let his heart pave his way that day.
Looking down at his hand, he squinted in thought. "She sounded like she was degrading herself."
"What do you mean?" Warrick asked, sitting forward.
"She said she'd didn't know what I wanted, that she didn't know why I wanted to talk to her. It was like she was trying to block me out somehow. I tried Cath, I really did. She doesn't want anything to do with me anymore." He added sadly, turning his chair, putting his back to everyone.
"I asked her to talk to me. I asked why she was doing this to herself, then I saw her eyes, she finally looked at me and. . .Don't cry over this. What ever it is, it's not worth it." His head snapped up. "I told her is wasn't worth it." He said to himself.
Everyone looked at each other before settling back on Grissom.
"What wasn't?" Nick asked.
Grissom turned and looked horrified. "What ever she was thinking, I told her it wasn't worth it, wasn't worth tears." He dropped his head into his hand. "Ohdeargod!" He groaned.
Catherine seemed to understand his distress and moved around his desk to kneel down beside him. "Go talk to her."
"She won't listen. She's forgotten me." He said sadly, almost tearfully.
Looking up at the boys, she smiled at them and silently asked them to leave for a few minutes. After the boys had left, she turned to Grissom and squeezed his arm. "Have you told her about Jessie?"
He shook his head. "Why?"
"That's when this started. She's lost. She shut down because she's lost faith. She can't have someone because she thinks someone else has them." Catherine shook her head at his attempt to speak. "She won't fight, she won't get jealous, she won't get angry, only with herself. She thinks those who try are more than she is. She tried once, but failed and it was enough to push her away."
Listening once again as Catherine explained the situation, he couldn't help the guilt ripping him apart. "I don't want to lose her Cath. She's all I've got left." He whispered brokenly.
"Then she needs to know that."
"Has she talked to you some more?" He asked, enlightened she knew more than the last they discussed this.
She nodded and looked away briefly. "It's not for me to say, but you will find out if you figure this out. She's hurt, lost and feeling very rejected. If you want this as bad as you say, you need to find some way to bring her round, but build that bridge slowly Gil, she's not going to come back easily." Catherine advised and watched his eyes close and his face contort into a grimace of realisation of what has happened.
~ 2 Hours Later ~
Sara finally found what she was looking for and reached for her coffee cup. Taking a long swig, she cringed as the cold liquid filled her stomach. She stared at the cup and shook her head. Checking the time, she realised she'd been sitting in the A/V lab for almost 6 hours straight. No wonder her eyes were computer strained and her coffee was ice cold.
Collecting up her printouts and case file, she turned the computer off and ditched her cold coffee in the nearest bin. It was time to clock out and she needed to get home.
As she pulled open her locker, she looked down at the case file and print outs on the bench. She needed to give them to her boss before leaving. She buried the feelings and slipped on her coat. It was like any other day and she only had to put it on his desk. Shift ended thirty minutes ago and everyone should have left by now, including the supervisor.
Making her way down the corridor, she knocked and entered Grissom's office. Trying to keep her face calm at seeing him pulling his jacket on, she approached his desk as she explained what she had found. After finishing and getting a 'I'll sign it' she turned and left.
On her way through the front doors of the crime lab building, she felt she was being followed. Sighing at who she knew it to be, she continued to her car and ignored the person calling her name. She was off the clock and didn't have to listen to anyone.
"Please stop." The voice begged as they got closer.
Trying her best to push the presence away, she unlocked her door and was about to climb in when her door was pulled out of her grasp.
"Will you please listen to me, Sara? I just want to talk."
She turned and looked at him. "Ok, Grissom." She said calmly. "Talk, but be quick."
He nodded. "I'm sorry. I should have told you a long time ago. I'm not seeing Jessie. No matter what you think, it's not true. We're just friends." He watched her face and was worried when she didn't even react.
"Fine, is that all?" Just friends? It was all that registered as it bounced from one side of her brain to the other. Well, she thought sadly, at least he found a new friend to play with.
"Can we go someplace? Talk, have breakfast with me, maybe?"
Why was he asking her? It wasn't what he wanted, she knew that. He had seen her all night at work and only talked work with her, now he want's to talk, about what?
"Talk? About work?" She asked with confusion. Why can't he wait until tonight?
He shook his head. "No, not about work. About you and me. We need to talk things through."
Sara looked down with a sigh. "I don't want t-"
"I know." He interrupted. "You don't want to talk to me. Can I talk to you instead?" He pleaded.
Watching him closely, she couldn't see why he would want to talk to her. She was confused again. What was he trying to do, rub her stupidity in her face and laugh? She wasn't going to let that happen. She already felt bad about spending three years of her life pinning after him. Didn't he know what he meant to her? Meant! He doesn't mean anything anymore. He's her boss, nothing else.
"You know, I'd love to, but I need to go home." She turned away and climbed into her car.
When she reached for her door, she noticed him still holding it. "I'll come with you." He said quickly and walked around to the passenger side to climb in.
Sara sat in her seat and stared at him as he buckled up. Now what? He wanted to confuse her in her own home and make her feel even guiltier? She felt guilty enough without having him gloat over how an idiot she had been to wait so long for him.
~ Three Days Later ~
Catherine stared at her through the window. She hadn't moved from the A/V lab for over four hours and didn't have more than one cup of coffee beside her. It was strange enough to see her sitting alone for so long, let alone a single cup of coffee that seemed bare touched and cold.
Walking up behind the blonde, Nick and Warrick looked on from behind. They had noticed the change too. She rarely spoke except concerning a case. She didn't go to breakfast with them any more. The last time they can think about seeing her outside the lab was serving a warrant and off duty, she never left her apartment. A few times one or the other had dropped by but she didn't entertain for long.
"She hasn't moved." Nick whispered to Warrick.
Catherine sighed and dropped her eyes to the linoleum. "She won't talk."
Warrick turned and walked away. It was upsetting them and too many people had noticed this change. It was like something died inside her and she was more than willing to let it drown.
No tech would approach her, fearful she'd erupt and bite their heads off, but she was polite the whole time. It was scary.
Doing nothing for too long was getting to them and both turned and followed Warrick's flight path as they went to the supervisor.
Grissom was holding his pen, but hadn't signed a single form in hours. He couldn't concentrate. Sara was taking over too much of his thought processes. Every time he tried to talk, he'd be interrupted and when he went to her apartment the day after his first time, he was left outside with no signs of her being home.
The large shadows over his desk made him look up and take in the sad faces of his friends and colleagues. "What's she doing?" He asked, knowing exactly what their visit was about.
Catherine turned to the others and tried to get them to leave, but they refused.
"We are not going Catherine." Nick stubbornly brushed her off and stood firm. "We know what's wrong and we can't let it go on."
Warrick nodded his agreement and sat down in a chair. "We don't place blame Griss, but you have got to know what's going on with her."
Grissom stared at them dumbstruck. "I.Wha." He shook his head and dropped his pen to the desk. "If you are suggesting I talk to her, I did."
"What did you say?" Catherine asked, concerned he had said something to cause Sara to retreat so far and so fast.
Shrugging innocently, he shook his head. "I honestly didn't say much. She kept telling me to leave, that she didn't want to see me. I tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen."
She could see he was not telling them something or not realising he wasn't telling them. "Tell us, word for word."
Grissom stared at her for a moment before turned his head and focusing on his tarantula as he thought back.
"I pleaded. for her to listen. She wouldn't listen. . I asked her what had happened. We were getting on so well in Colorado, like old times." He paused as he tried to think harder. "I tried to tell her that we were more than friends, but I don't think she understood, she said to give her time, then she tried again to get me to leave." He sighed and looked at the others.
"Anything else?" Warrick pressed.
"She was lying to get me to leave, but I didn't. I didn't want to go until we talked things out. I really wanted to sort things, fix it. I really did." He stressed to the others.
"It's ok Gil. It sounds like you resisted a lot longer than anyone else would have." Catherine offered gently, knowing he must have let his heart pave his way that day.
Looking down at his hand, he squinted in thought. "She sounded like she was degrading herself."
"What do you mean?" Warrick asked, sitting forward.
"She said she'd didn't know what I wanted, that she didn't know why I wanted to talk to her. It was like she was trying to block me out somehow. I tried Cath, I really did. She doesn't want anything to do with me anymore." He added sadly, turning his chair, putting his back to everyone.
"I asked her to talk to me. I asked why she was doing this to herself, then I saw her eyes, she finally looked at me and. . .Don't cry over this. What ever it is, it's not worth it." His head snapped up. "I told her is wasn't worth it." He said to himself.
Everyone looked at each other before settling back on Grissom.
"What wasn't?" Nick asked.
Grissom turned and looked horrified. "What ever she was thinking, I told her it wasn't worth it, wasn't worth tears." He dropped his head into his hand. "Ohdeargod!" He groaned.
Catherine seemed to understand his distress and moved around his desk to kneel down beside him. "Go talk to her."
"She won't listen. She's forgotten me." He said sadly, almost tearfully.
Looking up at the boys, she smiled at them and silently asked them to leave for a few minutes. After the boys had left, she turned to Grissom and squeezed his arm. "Have you told her about Jessie?"
He shook his head. "Why?"
"That's when this started. She's lost. She shut down because she's lost faith. She can't have someone because she thinks someone else has them." Catherine shook her head at his attempt to speak. "She won't fight, she won't get jealous, she won't get angry, only with herself. She thinks those who try are more than she is. She tried once, but failed and it was enough to push her away."
Listening once again as Catherine explained the situation, he couldn't help the guilt ripping him apart. "I don't want to lose her Cath. She's all I've got left." He whispered brokenly.
"Then she needs to know that."
"Has she talked to you some more?" He asked, enlightened she knew more than the last they discussed this.
She nodded and looked away briefly. "It's not for me to say, but you will find out if you figure this out. She's hurt, lost and feeling very rejected. If you want this as bad as you say, you need to find some way to bring her round, but build that bridge slowly Gil, she's not going to come back easily." Catherine advised and watched his eyes close and his face contort into a grimace of realisation of what has happened.
~ 2 Hours Later ~
Sara finally found what she was looking for and reached for her coffee cup. Taking a long swig, she cringed as the cold liquid filled her stomach. She stared at the cup and shook her head. Checking the time, she realised she'd been sitting in the A/V lab for almost 6 hours straight. No wonder her eyes were computer strained and her coffee was ice cold.
Collecting up her printouts and case file, she turned the computer off and ditched her cold coffee in the nearest bin. It was time to clock out and she needed to get home.
As she pulled open her locker, she looked down at the case file and print outs on the bench. She needed to give them to her boss before leaving. She buried the feelings and slipped on her coat. It was like any other day and she only had to put it on his desk. Shift ended thirty minutes ago and everyone should have left by now, including the supervisor.
Making her way down the corridor, she knocked and entered Grissom's office. Trying to keep her face calm at seeing him pulling his jacket on, she approached his desk as she explained what she had found. After finishing and getting a 'I'll sign it' she turned and left.
On her way through the front doors of the crime lab building, she felt she was being followed. Sighing at who she knew it to be, she continued to her car and ignored the person calling her name. She was off the clock and didn't have to listen to anyone.
"Please stop." The voice begged as they got closer.
Trying her best to push the presence away, she unlocked her door and was about to climb in when her door was pulled out of her grasp.
"Will you please listen to me, Sara? I just want to talk."
She turned and looked at him. "Ok, Grissom." She said calmly. "Talk, but be quick."
He nodded. "I'm sorry. I should have told you a long time ago. I'm not seeing Jessie. No matter what you think, it's not true. We're just friends." He watched her face and was worried when she didn't even react.
"Fine, is that all?" Just friends? It was all that registered as it bounced from one side of her brain to the other. Well, she thought sadly, at least he found a new friend to play with.
"Can we go someplace? Talk, have breakfast with me, maybe?"
Why was he asking her? It wasn't what he wanted, she knew that. He had seen her all night at work and only talked work with her, now he want's to talk, about what?
"Talk? About work?" She asked with confusion. Why can't he wait until tonight?
He shook his head. "No, not about work. About you and me. We need to talk things through."
Sara looked down with a sigh. "I don't want t-"
"I know." He interrupted. "You don't want to talk to me. Can I talk to you instead?" He pleaded.
Watching him closely, she couldn't see why he would want to talk to her. She was confused again. What was he trying to do, rub her stupidity in her face and laugh? She wasn't going to let that happen. She already felt bad about spending three years of her life pinning after him. Didn't he know what he meant to her? Meant! He doesn't mean anything anymore. He's her boss, nothing else.
"You know, I'd love to, but I need to go home." She turned away and climbed into her car.
When she reached for her door, she noticed him still holding it. "I'll come with you." He said quickly and walked around to the passenger side to climb in.
Sara sat in her seat and stared at him as he buckled up. Now what? He wanted to confuse her in her own home and make her feel even guiltier? She felt guilty enough without having him gloat over how an idiot she had been to wait so long for him.