Okay, so now that I have all that done and out of the way. Here comes the
moment that hundreds of fans have been waiting for, THE NEW CHAPTER OF YU
YU HAKUSHO: ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES!!! YAY!!! *Dances around the room*
Kurama: You've got a lot of reviews and lots of people love your fic, why can't I excel in that?
Sapphire: You excel in everything else, Kurama. It's my turn to shine!! *Continues dancing*
Kurama: *Sweatdrops* Well, I suppose you do have a point right there. Anyway, I still want to know where in the world Hiei went, I have become concerned. He's been gone for a long time.
Sapphire: *Stops dancing* Oh yes, well, I put him in a good place. He is at least happy there. *Laughs evilly*
Kurama: Where in the world did you put him?!
Sapphire: You'll soon find out! *Continues to laugh, lightning cracks in the background*
Kurama: *Sweatdrop* You're messed. Anyway, why don't we continue the story?
Sapphire: You're right Kurama, I think I should get started on that. It looks like a lot of my readers are about to kill me for putting it off for so long. Anyway, enjoy!!!
*********************************************************
Yusuke:
Hey guys!! Kuwabara has just gotten back from the hospital and I think he has finally calmed down. At least, he better. Anyway, have any of you guys heard any news about Hiei lately? He's been gone for a while and I am concerned that our little mass-murderer has done something stupid. Anyway, call me back if you find out anything. And do you realize that our answering machine things are more like we are leaving stuff on an answering machine? Like, a message or something? Oh well, kinda freaky. Leave a message or something!!! *Beep*
Kuwabara:
OUCH!!! Hey guys, I'm back from the hospital and they said that I should regain feeling in my legs in about a week!! I haven't heard anything from the stupid dwarf and I suppose that he has just gotten sick of all the fan girls and that stalker calling him that he decided to move away or go back to the Makai or something. I say, GOOD RIDDENS!! He's doing my life a whole ton of good now that he's gone, so if this is Hiei, JUST STAY AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK!!! YOU'LL BE DOING THE WORLD A LOT OF GOOD!!! *Beep*
Kurama:
Kuwabara, do you think that maybe if you left you would be doing the world a lot of good? Sorry, that wasn't me talking. I have decided to role-play Hiei while he's gone and so that was Hiei talking, not me, I swear to God. No, I am not suffering from multiple personality disorder, why do you ask? *Beep*
Kuwabara:
Oooooookkkkkkkaaaaaayyyyyy, Kurama is acting weird and my beloved Yukina is concerned about Hiei, I dunno why. So I guess it is up to me to find Hiei and relieve my poor Yukina of her worries. DON'T WORRY MY LOVE!!! YOUR BRAVE LOVER KAZUMA WILL HELP YOU FIND THE PERSON THAT YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT, EVEN IF HE HATES THE PERSON AND KURAMA HAS GONE INSANE, I WILL NOT FAIL YOU MY LOVE!!! *Beep*
Yusuke:
Kurama, I think you need bed rest. You are obviously mentally unstable and you just need sometime to calm down, perhaps you should take a few days off from school or something? *Beep*
Kurama:
It's not just that, Yusuke. There is a person who is holding me hostage in her stories that won't stop torturing me. For about 6 months now it's been uncontrollable. I am just an innocent 16 year old guy, who just wanted to have life calm down a little bit. But no, she just has to keep on torturing me and making my life a living hell. I just can't take it anymore, just can't take it, you've got to do something Yusuke, MAKE HER STOP!!! *Beep*
Yusuke:
Okay Kurama, I take back what I stated earlier. You are totally INSANE!!! I'm coming over right now to help you, 'cause you are very unstable. You just don't do anything dumb, okay? *Beep*
Kurama:
No Yusuke, STAY BACK!!! YOU CANNOT HELP ME!!! I AM BEYOND HELP!! SAVE YOURSELF, JUST SAVE YOURSELF!! GO ON WITHOUT ME!!! WHY IS IT THAT THE BLACK GUY ALWAYS HAS TO DIE FIRST??? AHHH, MY ARM!! THAT BASTARD T-REX HAS BITTEN IT OFF!!! JUST GO ON WITHOUT ME!! I'LL FIGHT THEM OFF AS LONG AS I CAN!!! I- --*Beep*
Kuwabara:
Jesus Urameshi, I sure hope you got to Kurama in time. That seems pretty serious. I am currently on a mission looking for Hiei, for my beloved Yukina. Anyway, I haven't found anything in his house just yet, other then a copy of that goddamned tape of Koenma and me. I burned it already though. Anyway, leave a message Urameshi and tell me that Kurama is all right. *Beep*
Yusuke:
*Sigh* Kurama is fine now. I had to knock him out and lay him into bed though; I think he's back to normal. Right before I knocked him out he was running around without a shirt on saying that his name was Kunta Kinte and that he was trying to find his way back home to Africa because he is a Mandingo warrior and that his "masser" can't keep him here forever. Anyway, leave a message if you find out anything on Hiei, I have a feeling that Kurama won't be of much help now. *Beep*
Kuwabara:
OOOOO!!! I have found an update!! Turn to channel 12, Urameshi and you'll see something on the news that seems a little ironic. *Sounds of moving recorder and suddenly the voice of a newscaster* "For four days now the ice cream factory in Sleeping Eye is under the control of a young 12 year old, though authorities are not certain the age of the 4'3 person that took over the ice cream factory four days ago. All they know is by workers, who escaped saying the suspect was short, dressed in black and had a spiky hair- do. More as the story continues." See Urameshi? I think that it is Hiei that took over that ice cream factory and that should be the place we next look. Leave a message dammit if you want to help me!! *Beep*
Yusuke:
All right, I'll help you out. We need to get Hiei back as soon as possible. I'm not sure on how Kurama is doing, but I think it is easy enough to do it without him. Now, TO THE BATCAVE!!! *Theme song to "Batman"* *Beep*
Hiei:
OH NO YOU DON'T!!! I AIN'T COMIN' OUT OF HERE UNTIL THAT BITCH THAT IS WRITING THIS STORY TELLS ME WHO THE HELL IS STALKING ME!!! I WILL ONLY CARVE OUT HER STOMACHE BECAUSE SHE PUT ME IN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE; I WAS GOING TO KILL HER BEFORE. YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY SWEET SNOW!! ITS MINE, ALL MINE!!! *Beep*
Yusuke:
Jesus Christ, has everyone gone insane right now? Who the hell is writing this? I DEMAND YOU SHOW YOURSELF NOW!!!! GIVE ME BACK THE SANITY OF ALL MY FRIENDS YOU BITCH!!! I'M WARNING YOU!!!! *Beep*
Hiei:
I AIN'T COMIN' OUT OF HERE!! NO WAY, NO HOW!! YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY SOMETHING THAT IS PREACIOUS TO ME!!! I WANT MY SWEET SNOW, WHAT IT WRONG WITH THAT? NOTHING!! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP CALLING ME!!! NO MATTER WHERE I GO THE FUCKIN' STALKER FOLLOWS!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! *Beep*
Kuwabara:
HOLD ON HIEI!! I SHALL SAVE YOU!! NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO, JUST BECAUSE MY BELOVED YUKINA WANTS ME TO SAVE YOU!! I SHALL COME AND RID YOU OF THE DEVIL THAT HAS TAKEN CONTROL OF YOUR SOUL!!! I SHALL PURIFIY YOUR UNCLEAN SPIRIT!!! DO NOT FEAR, KUWABARA IS HERE!!! *Beep*
Yusuke:
Jesus H. Christ, we're all so fuckin' screwed. Just, stop the madness, okay? Please, for me?? I just want it to return to normal. I can see why Kurama went insane. Just make is stop okay? Please!! I'm begging you!! Anyone out there, just help!!! *Beep*
Hiei:
BAKA!!! THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE GOING TO SAVE ME!!! I'LL BE SURE OF IT!! I'LL.......WHAT THE HELL? *Sound of breaking glass and Kuwabara calling out his battle cry* GIVE ME LIBERTY, OR SOMETHING BETTER!!! *Beep*
Kuwabara:
Heheheheheh. All in all I think this was a very successful day. I was the only one who didn't go insane and I actually was able to hog-tie Hiei and take him home with me. I put him in a large tank that he can't break out of and I get to hear him whine and cry all day to let him have his sweet snow back. It's almost pathetic. I give him a bowl of ice cream every once and a while when he doesn't try to chew the top off the tank. HE'S SO CUTE!!! Anyway, talk to you all later and leave a message!!! *Beep*
Hiei:
You've got to help me. I DON'T WANT TO BE KUWABARA'S PET!!!! I don't even know how I got a phone with an answering machine in here anyway, but I'm not the one controlling the story, that bitch is. I VOW TO GET REVENGE!!! I SWEAR IT!!! *Beep*
************************************************************
Well, there ya go!! Another chapter in the continuing saga of Yu Yu Hakusho: Answering Machine Messages. Hope you liked it and be sure to review!!! Kurama is in bed right now because he is still acting a little funny but I've got Hiei back here with me!!
Hiei: I swear to God, I am going to kill you in your sleep.
Sapphire: Don't worry Hiei, you can't. I control the story and I can put you anywhere I want.
Hiei: You're unfair!!!
Sapphire: Nope, just being a control freak. Anyway, also my good friend Little Kitsune wanted me to mention her to you, so say hi you jerk!!!
Hiei: I will not say hi to her, she could be the stalker.
Sapphire: She isn't Hiei, although many claim to be the stalker, they are all just throwing you off though, you'll never find out the real stalker until many chapters from now!!
Hiei: NO!!! YOU WILL TELL ME NOW, WOMAN!!!!
Sapphire: Eekkk!!! *Runs away from Hiei and his sword*
Hiei: COME BACK HERE!!! I'M SOOOO GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, but I am currently holding Kurama and Hiei hostage. I am offering 10 billion dollars for their safe return. I also don't own "Roots" and all its respective characters. I am merely watching the movie in American Literature. All ideas and sayings in this fic are totally my idea and I will hunt you down while you are sleeping and hang you if you steal it from me without my asking. Thank you for flying DarkSapphireFire Airlines. Be sure to only unfasten your seatbelts once the plane has come to a full and complete stop and the engines have been turned off. Please be sure to remove all personal items from the overhead compartments. We hope to serve you again with all your travel needs!! ^_^
~DarkSapphireFire
Kurama: You've got a lot of reviews and lots of people love your fic, why can't I excel in that?
Sapphire: You excel in everything else, Kurama. It's my turn to shine!! *Continues dancing*
Kurama: *Sweatdrops* Well, I suppose you do have a point right there. Anyway, I still want to know where in the world Hiei went, I have become concerned. He's been gone for a long time.
Sapphire: *Stops dancing* Oh yes, well, I put him in a good place. He is at least happy there. *Laughs evilly*
Kurama: Where in the world did you put him?!
Sapphire: You'll soon find out! *Continues to laugh, lightning cracks in the background*
Kurama: *Sweatdrop* You're messed. Anyway, why don't we continue the story?
Sapphire: You're right Kurama, I think I should get started on that. It looks like a lot of my readers are about to kill me for putting it off for so long. Anyway, enjoy!!!
*********************************************************
Yusuke:
Hey guys!! Kuwabara has just gotten back from the hospital and I think he has finally calmed down. At least, he better. Anyway, have any of you guys heard any news about Hiei lately? He's been gone for a while and I am concerned that our little mass-murderer has done something stupid. Anyway, call me back if you find out anything. And do you realize that our answering machine things are more like we are leaving stuff on an answering machine? Like, a message or something? Oh well, kinda freaky. Leave a message or something!!! *Beep*
Kuwabara:
OUCH!!! Hey guys, I'm back from the hospital and they said that I should regain feeling in my legs in about a week!! I haven't heard anything from the stupid dwarf and I suppose that he has just gotten sick of all the fan girls and that stalker calling him that he decided to move away or go back to the Makai or something. I say, GOOD RIDDENS!! He's doing my life a whole ton of good now that he's gone, so if this is Hiei, JUST STAY AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK!!! YOU'LL BE DOING THE WORLD A LOT OF GOOD!!! *Beep*
Kurama:
Kuwabara, do you think that maybe if you left you would be doing the world a lot of good? Sorry, that wasn't me talking. I have decided to role-play Hiei while he's gone and so that was Hiei talking, not me, I swear to God. No, I am not suffering from multiple personality disorder, why do you ask? *Beep*
Kuwabara:
Oooooookkkkkkkaaaaaayyyyyy, Kurama is acting weird and my beloved Yukina is concerned about Hiei, I dunno why. So I guess it is up to me to find Hiei and relieve my poor Yukina of her worries. DON'T WORRY MY LOVE!!! YOUR BRAVE LOVER KAZUMA WILL HELP YOU FIND THE PERSON THAT YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT, EVEN IF HE HATES THE PERSON AND KURAMA HAS GONE INSANE, I WILL NOT FAIL YOU MY LOVE!!! *Beep*
Yusuke:
Kurama, I think you need bed rest. You are obviously mentally unstable and you just need sometime to calm down, perhaps you should take a few days off from school or something? *Beep*
Kurama:
It's not just that, Yusuke. There is a person who is holding me hostage in her stories that won't stop torturing me. For about 6 months now it's been uncontrollable. I am just an innocent 16 year old guy, who just wanted to have life calm down a little bit. But no, she just has to keep on torturing me and making my life a living hell. I just can't take it anymore, just can't take it, you've got to do something Yusuke, MAKE HER STOP!!! *Beep*
Yusuke:
Okay Kurama, I take back what I stated earlier. You are totally INSANE!!! I'm coming over right now to help you, 'cause you are very unstable. You just don't do anything dumb, okay? *Beep*
Kurama:
No Yusuke, STAY BACK!!! YOU CANNOT HELP ME!!! I AM BEYOND HELP!! SAVE YOURSELF, JUST SAVE YOURSELF!! GO ON WITHOUT ME!!! WHY IS IT THAT THE BLACK GUY ALWAYS HAS TO DIE FIRST??? AHHH, MY ARM!! THAT BASTARD T-REX HAS BITTEN IT OFF!!! JUST GO ON WITHOUT ME!! I'LL FIGHT THEM OFF AS LONG AS I CAN!!! I- --*Beep*
Kuwabara:
Jesus Urameshi, I sure hope you got to Kurama in time. That seems pretty serious. I am currently on a mission looking for Hiei, for my beloved Yukina. Anyway, I haven't found anything in his house just yet, other then a copy of that goddamned tape of Koenma and me. I burned it already though. Anyway, leave a message Urameshi and tell me that Kurama is all right. *Beep*
Yusuke:
*Sigh* Kurama is fine now. I had to knock him out and lay him into bed though; I think he's back to normal. Right before I knocked him out he was running around without a shirt on saying that his name was Kunta Kinte and that he was trying to find his way back home to Africa because he is a Mandingo warrior and that his "masser" can't keep him here forever. Anyway, leave a message if you find out anything on Hiei, I have a feeling that Kurama won't be of much help now. *Beep*
Kuwabara:
OOOOO!!! I have found an update!! Turn to channel 12, Urameshi and you'll see something on the news that seems a little ironic. *Sounds of moving recorder and suddenly the voice of a newscaster* "For four days now the ice cream factory in Sleeping Eye is under the control of a young 12 year old, though authorities are not certain the age of the 4'3 person that took over the ice cream factory four days ago. All they know is by workers, who escaped saying the suspect was short, dressed in black and had a spiky hair- do. More as the story continues." See Urameshi? I think that it is Hiei that took over that ice cream factory and that should be the place we next look. Leave a message dammit if you want to help me!! *Beep*
Yusuke:
All right, I'll help you out. We need to get Hiei back as soon as possible. I'm not sure on how Kurama is doing, but I think it is easy enough to do it without him. Now, TO THE BATCAVE!!! *Theme song to "Batman"* *Beep*
Hiei:
OH NO YOU DON'T!!! I AIN'T COMIN' OUT OF HERE UNTIL THAT BITCH THAT IS WRITING THIS STORY TELLS ME WHO THE HELL IS STALKING ME!!! I WILL ONLY CARVE OUT HER STOMACHE BECAUSE SHE PUT ME IN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE; I WAS GOING TO KILL HER BEFORE. YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY SWEET SNOW!! ITS MINE, ALL MINE!!! *Beep*
Yusuke:
Jesus Christ, has everyone gone insane right now? Who the hell is writing this? I DEMAND YOU SHOW YOURSELF NOW!!!! GIVE ME BACK THE SANITY OF ALL MY FRIENDS YOU BITCH!!! I'M WARNING YOU!!!! *Beep*
Hiei:
I AIN'T COMIN' OUT OF HERE!! NO WAY, NO HOW!! YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY SOMETHING THAT IS PREACIOUS TO ME!!! I WANT MY SWEET SNOW, WHAT IT WRONG WITH THAT? NOTHING!! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP CALLING ME!!! NO MATTER WHERE I GO THE FUCKIN' STALKER FOLLOWS!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! *Beep*
Kuwabara:
HOLD ON HIEI!! I SHALL SAVE YOU!! NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO, JUST BECAUSE MY BELOVED YUKINA WANTS ME TO SAVE YOU!! I SHALL COME AND RID YOU OF THE DEVIL THAT HAS TAKEN CONTROL OF YOUR SOUL!!! I SHALL PURIFIY YOUR UNCLEAN SPIRIT!!! DO NOT FEAR, KUWABARA IS HERE!!! *Beep*
Yusuke:
Jesus H. Christ, we're all so fuckin' screwed. Just, stop the madness, okay? Please, for me?? I just want it to return to normal. I can see why Kurama went insane. Just make is stop okay? Please!! I'm begging you!! Anyone out there, just help!!! *Beep*
Hiei:
BAKA!!! THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE GOING TO SAVE ME!!! I'LL BE SURE OF IT!! I'LL.......WHAT THE HELL? *Sound of breaking glass and Kuwabara calling out his battle cry* GIVE ME LIBERTY, OR SOMETHING BETTER!!! *Beep*
Kuwabara:
Heheheheheh. All in all I think this was a very successful day. I was the only one who didn't go insane and I actually was able to hog-tie Hiei and take him home with me. I put him in a large tank that he can't break out of and I get to hear him whine and cry all day to let him have his sweet snow back. It's almost pathetic. I give him a bowl of ice cream every once and a while when he doesn't try to chew the top off the tank. HE'S SO CUTE!!! Anyway, talk to you all later and leave a message!!! *Beep*
Hiei:
You've got to help me. I DON'T WANT TO BE KUWABARA'S PET!!!! I don't even know how I got a phone with an answering machine in here anyway, but I'm not the one controlling the story, that bitch is. I VOW TO GET REVENGE!!! I SWEAR IT!!! *Beep*
************************************************************
Well, there ya go!! Another chapter in the continuing saga of Yu Yu Hakusho: Answering Machine Messages. Hope you liked it and be sure to review!!! Kurama is in bed right now because he is still acting a little funny but I've got Hiei back here with me!!
Hiei: I swear to God, I am going to kill you in your sleep.
Sapphire: Don't worry Hiei, you can't. I control the story and I can put you anywhere I want.
Hiei: You're unfair!!!
Sapphire: Nope, just being a control freak. Anyway, also my good friend Little Kitsune wanted me to mention her to you, so say hi you jerk!!!
Hiei: I will not say hi to her, she could be the stalker.
Sapphire: She isn't Hiei, although many claim to be the stalker, they are all just throwing you off though, you'll never find out the real stalker until many chapters from now!!
Hiei: NO!!! YOU WILL TELL ME NOW, WOMAN!!!!
Sapphire: Eekkk!!! *Runs away from Hiei and his sword*
Hiei: COME BACK HERE!!! I'M SOOOO GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, but I am currently holding Kurama and Hiei hostage. I am offering 10 billion dollars for their safe return. I also don't own "Roots" and all its respective characters. I am merely watching the movie in American Literature. All ideas and sayings in this fic are totally my idea and I will hunt you down while you are sleeping and hang you if you steal it from me without my asking. Thank you for flying DarkSapphireFire Airlines. Be sure to only unfasten your seatbelts once the plane has come to a full and complete stop and the engines have been turned off. Please be sure to remove all personal items from the overhead compartments. We hope to serve you again with all your travel needs!! ^_^
~DarkSapphireFire