AN: Okay this is going to turn completely to AU (thanks to Guin for that idea! :-D) And thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, I really appreciate all your kind words and much hassling to update because that's what I need!

Oh and I'm just going to assume that if one passes the astro-navigational exam you'd be a Lieutenant. Okay? Okay. And if that's wrong...I am terribly sorry.

Anyhow, Happy holiday's everyone, whatever holiday you may celebrate!

The day of the examination loomed upon them and Arnold couldn't help but to associate that fact with his own impending humiliation. He could just imagine the look on his Father's face and he couldn't stand it. I can't disappoint him again; I'll pass this test.

He had been so preoccupied about the whole exam that he'd been nearly useless on his shift. He walked back to his quarters in a daze. He looked down at his watch; the exam was in exactly four hours thirty nine minutes and fourteen seconds. He'd never make it, he was going to faint, slip into a coma, jettison himself out into space.

After nearly thirty minutes of staring at the ceiling on his bunk he decided to go to the mess to get some food. Yes. Food. Good, he thought absently.

He hadn't seen Natasha since the night before. Arnold just hoped he hadn't made a mess of everything. He didn't mean to like her, he'd tried not to, he'd even made a list of cons which only consisted of the fact that Natasha had an liking for romantic films.

Arnold was so out of it he didn't have a chance to ponder the disgusting slop on his plate. He only ate what he assumed was grilled cat and curdled goats milk.

He and Natasha were going to meet an hour before the exam for another quick revision.

He set up his notes on the table, separating each section into neat little piles. He looked at the mass of papers and felt the urge to be violently sick.

"Hey Arn?" Charles asked, "you all right?"

Arnold twitched in a way that Charles assumed was a yes.

"Well...uh...good luck then." He stared at Arnold, then simply left, shaking his head.

Arnold looked down at his watch.

An hour twenty minutes and forty-eight seconds.

He was doomed.

"Arnold."

Arnold was vaguely aware that someone was speaking to him.

"Arnold," Natasha repeated, "you have to look at me," she scooted her chair around the table and seized his shoulders. "You need to breathe," Arnold simply blinked in reply. Natasha shook him rather violently, trying to snap him out of his stupor. "It's only a test Arnold, your very existence doesn't ride on whether you pass or fail."

"Yes it does." Arnold finally replied.

"What?" Natasha replied.

"You don't understand, if I fail this test..."

Natasha sighed, "look, the only reason why you are so sure you're going to fail this test is because you've convinced yourself you are."

Arnold blinked again.

Natasha touched his arm before getting to her feet she checked her watch. "We should get to the examination room," She reached down and took Arnold's hand, he stared at her and Natasha gave him a little tug. "Come on."

He would be fine, he just needed to fail the test and get it over with.

Arnold let Natasha pull him to his feet and he noticed she didn't let go of his hand.

"Remember what I told you."

He let out a long breath and the black dots that had been dancing in front of his eyes finally receded.

Well...that wasn't nearly as traumatic as Arnold thought it was going to be.

Don't bother getting your hopes up, the nasty little voice quipped inside his head.

Arnold took a deep breath.

He leaned against the wall in the hallway down from the examination room. He told Natasha to get his results; he couldn't bear to look at them himself.

"Arnold!" Natasha screamed waving a piece of paper excitedly.

Oh bloody hell. Now everyone was looking at him, then back to her. Did she have to advertise the fact that she passed and he failed? Arnold thought Natasha was above that.

"Arnold!" She shrieked, running over to him.

"So you've passed then?" He snapped.

Natasha blinked, the look of joy dropped off her face. "Yeah," she replied. "What's the matter?"

"Right. Well congratulations then." He turned, ignoring the question.

That was it, this was bloody it. He was leaving Red Dwarf and moving to Guam where no one knew him.

"Arnold," Natasha grabbed his arm, ignoring the looks of the people around them. She'd meant to sound pissed, insulted, and indignant but rather she just sounded as if she were about to cry. She crumpled the test results in her hand. "You stupid git."

Arnold froze in his tracks. Natasha tightened her grip on his arm and dragged him down the hall to a corridor that was deserted. In fact, Arnold recognized the vending machine--this was where they first met.

Well, Arnold thought darkly, at least she has the decency to insult me in private.

"Yes I passed Arnold," Natasha waved his results in his face, "but you did too."

Time seemed to slow to a screeching halt.

"P-pardon?" Arnold coughed, his heart lodged in his esophagus.

She snapped the paper open in front of his face.

...congratulations...passed your astro- navigational exam...Lieutenant Arnold Judas Rimmer...

The words swam before his eyes. He took the paper with shaking fingers; sure it would spontaneously combust in his hand.

"Natasha..." he said softly, he looked up at her and couldn't believe what a total and utter smeg of a smegging smeghead he'd been. "I...I'm sorry."

Natasha simply stared at him.

Arnold wracked his brain for anything, anything he could say to make it better. But before he had a chance to say anything at all--Natasha grabbed him by the lapels of his uniform and pulled him towards her, crushing her lips against his.

Arnold was thrown off balance, and wrapped his arm around her waist to steady himself. It took a few moments for him to realize what was happening.

Arnold pinched his left arm and revealed in the pain that shot down his forearm. He wasn't dreaming. Natasha was kissing him--or she had been.

Natasha was now standing back staring at him. Her cheeks were flushed and she laughed softly. "What did I tell you about breathing?" She whispered.

"To hell with breathing," Arnold declared, he slung his other arm around her waist and kissed her fully on the mouth.

The seconds seemed passed into minutes and then hours, perhaps even decades--Arnold didn't know, or care.

All he did know was that for the first time in Arnold Judas Rimmer's life, things were perfect.

And that was just the way he liked it.

It's done! *dances* I hope you liked it!

~ bloodredcherry