Wakeful
by Goz
Disclaimer: I own some merchandise. But I don't own any of the characters or anything...
Warning: This is a Pokemon fanfic about a girl who catches Mew. Written by a person with incomplete knowledge of the cartoon. Caveat emptor.
Timeline Note: Ash and Gary are seventeen, and have been defeating each other for the title of League Champion for several years. Misty and Brock have taken up their Gym Leader duties again.
Despite the League's attempts at regulation and arguments that their use is unethical, Master Balls have become far too common...
-
Prologue
-
If you really wanted Fess's services, you'd be on time; she didn't wait around for more than twenty minutes. The appointment had been for eight PM - it was now exactly eight twenty-one.
The email had stated the time in two different sentences, and the guy had said that he was saving a back-up copy. The directions to the cave had been very exact and the grammar had been impeccable. No mention had been made of what the guy wanted Fess to break into or how she would be paid. There had been no name attached. This was not the way the police worked when trying to entrap someone. So Fess had come.
"Gotta stop takin' the ones 'at sound weird." Fess talked to herself whenever she thought someone might be listening. "Yeah - sometimes they pay more. But use'ly they're just air." She dropped her backpack and started to spread out her sleeping bag.
"Less just go ta sleep anyway. Kwa kin get rid of 'im, if 'e shows up and tries ta bug me." Fess knew she sounded intoxicated. A blue-white light flashed, and Fess ordered the Quagsire shortly, "Guard. Wake me up 'bout a half-hour past dawn."
Fess did things that didn't make sense. But sometimes...
-
The way to tell whether a Quagsire was wild or tame was fairly simple. Wild ones were nocturnal, so any Quagsire who yawned at night was tame. This was trivia right now - Mew already knew that this was where the girl was - but he thought of it anyway. Quagsires yawned *loudly*.
And passed out quietly. The only sound to pierce the silence of the night was a dull thump, and a very quiet, woeful "Mew!" Mew always felt a little sick when he used Giga Drain. So many attacks just didn't feel right to his natural form.
Maybe, a long time ago, they had known more about it than he did now. But his theory was that the ancient Mews had died out because they just couldn't handle being able to use every attack in existence - he accidentally slipped completely into Transform a lot when using attacks like Crabhammer, and it was possible to get stuck while switching forms. Dittos generally died from it. It didn't explain the small number of Togepi and Clefairy, who learned Metronome but not Transform, but there could be other reasons for that.
The girl was not waking up - he had used Water Gun on her three times, and she didn't seem to notice, curled up on her side and breathing very quietly. Was she sedated? Frustrated, he whipped her face with his tail, still sore from the grass attack. He didn't have *time* to find someone else to get him into the problematic building - Talbot could catch up to him any time -
She jerked upward, not completely awake, and batted his tail away blindly. "*Pry!* How many times I gotta tell ya -"
*I knocked out your Quagsire.* Mew had quickly retreated to the shadowy back of the cave. The girl looked around swiftly, trying figure out where the voice was coming from. Then her eyes settled on the shadowy figure in the corner and went squinty, in a very odd display of surprise.
"Didja, then? Whadda you want?"
*I understand you're very good at breaking into places.*
The girl smiled grimly, eyes normal again. "Ya could say that."
*I need to get into Team Rocket headquarters. I have an Eevee, the three evolution stones, and directions to getting the other two evolutions if you can do it.* He felt slightly ill saying that, but at least the Eevee was a volunteer.
"Can and have. But I dunno what I'd do wit' that payment."
*Well, what do you want?* She tapped the side of her head, looking upward mock-thoughtfully.
"Kinda hard ta believe, but I've never run inta a legend'ry Pokemon before. How 'bout you answer a few questions fer me?" Of course she recognized him. Everyone knew what he looked like. He hesitated for a moment.
*I can do that. *After* you get me into the Rocket Headquarters.*
"Oh, ya wanna get in yerself?" She looked speculative. "I'll take the stones, too, then. But not th' Eevee."
*Fine.* That was one more ethical issue he didn't have to worry about.
"But I need one question answered now," she said sharply, holding up one hand. "How ya gonna get in without bein' seen? I generally go by m'self, ya know. An' when I don't, just wit' a Ghastly or something makin' sure I'm doin' what I'm supposed ta."
*I won't be seen,* he said, trying to sound mystical and impressive. He wondered if he ought to be offended by the thought that a Ghastly was better qualified than a Mew for something.
"You'd better not. I don't like bein' caught sneakin' inta Team Rocket HQ. When d'ya want me ta do it?"
*Tomorrow.*
"I assume ya kin teleport?"
*Yes.*
"Fine. Jus' come back fer me at 'bout six thirty. 'll be ready." That was clearly a dismissal. He smoldered inwardly as the cave dematerialized around him. *Don't I get any respect from *anyone*? I hate being the cute one.*
Another cave, halfway around the world. There were a few hundred cave systems with points it would take two days walking to get to. There were only about forty fragile enough that a Diglett or Onix couldn't be used to get to fractionalize the time - and these were important when someone always knew where you were...
-
"H'mph!" Fess was digging through her backpack with one hand, smiling grimly straight ahead at the wall. "...takin' the weird 'ns..." She carefully pulled a Poke Ball out of her backpack. There was an "M" on the catch.
"'ll be ready."
-
Part 1: Unhappy Machines
-
For some reason, it was possible to use items - evolution stones, potions, TM's - on Pokemon still inside their balls. You poured liquids and opened TM's into the catch - it looked weird as all-get-out, but the ball would act as though the catch weren't there, and you were just pouring into a hole. You just touched the stones to any part of the ball. Renee had evolved her Sunkern that way; she said Pokemon adjusted to evolution more easily if they evolved still in the Poke Ball. And of course, your Pokemon wouldn't have a chance to interrogate you if you put them away before you revived them...
And Master Balls glowed when you did anything of the kind. Strange world. Somewhere, a giant rock snake was inside a little machine about the size of her fist. And a pink sheep was easily defeating a huge dragon. And one teenager from Pallet Town was beating up another for the most coveted position in the world, and no one was even bothering to watch this time.
And somewhere near Vermilion City, a Gym Leader's little sister was hiding behind a stalagtite with a Master Ball, and a mythical pink thing was appearing in exactly the perfect spot. He blinked and froze, outraged.
*I'll be very unhappy if you use that.* Fess paused for a tenth of a second, shrugged, and threw the Poke Ball. There was a little flash of light, and the ball hit the ground softly.
"How depressin'." Fess walked over to the Poke Ball, picked it up, and pressed the button. Before he could Teleport away, she said quickly, "Sorry. Jus' wanted ta be able ta say I did that."
**Excuse* me?!*
"Wanted ta be able ta say I did that." Mew looked confounded, apparently too confused to leave. "Hey, come on, I had a Master Ball an' there wuz a legend'ry Pokemon. If I ever write an autobiography, it'd sell out right 'way." He was backing away, looking bewildered and angry. *And *how* do you intend to convince anyone that you *caught* me?!*
"I don't. But if I kin say I did an' it's true an' no one believes it, I'll be right an' they'll be wrong." Fess said it as though it made perfect sense.
Mew put one hand to his forehead, aggravated. *That makes *no* sense -*
"'course it doesn't. Now, ya wanted me ta break inta Team Rocket's basement?"
He shook his head in vexation, giving up. *I guess so... uh, are you ready now?*
"Always. Ya know what yer lookin' fer, right?" Fess asked as she dragged her backpack towards her with her foot.
*Yes. I just haven't been able to get in -* Fess stumbled backwards as the cave around her was suddenly replaced by an empty road. *- but I know exactly where to go once I'm inside,* Mew continued without a break. *The talking Meowth sold a map to a Sneasel -*
"The guy musta taken his time at gettin' disgruntled," Fess interrupted, walking off ahead. The light was still dim and bluish here, and the distracted little cat-thing was quite visible.
*What? No, he just wanted a ball of yarn the Sneasel had.*
"Impressive criminals."
*Well... sometimes. Oh -* The pink spot at the edge of Fess's vision suddenly vanished, and she looked back quickly. There was a little Ghastly with curiously oversized eyes in Mew's place. "Ya know Transform?"
*Yes - uh, I mean - sort of.*
"I'd go wit' a Misdreavus."
*They can't use Hypnosis.* Fess covered her eyes. *Not for you. In case someone sees me.*
"It's hard ta notice Ghastlies unless they got their eyes all deformed." Ghastlies only had the big, goofy eyes when they *wanted* to be seen.
*Ghastlies see funny. I don't like to use their eyes,* he said touchily.
"Then use a Misdreavus or somethin'."
*They can't use Hypnosis.* Fess gave up.
Celadon was an intensely boring city - even the *coffee* places didn't open until seven. As it was six right now, the only thing open was an important-looking gray building with lots of reflecting glass and an expensive sign saying "Unicorp, Inc".
"If that's not an indication've evil, I dunno what is." Fess slipped into the narrow alley to the right - the woman behind the desk inside was struggling to keep an indignant Raticate still enough to be brushed, paying no attention to what went on outside. The power for the lobby security cameras came from a little Voltorb-powered generator tacked onto the side of the building. The wires were hard to cut - they were coated with very thick rubber -
*Huh?*
"Never mind." Fess snapped her Pokedex open, hit "Run", and typed "C:\pry.exe". A Porygon 2 materialized at her shoulder, startling the odd-looking Ghastly. "Leee!" Pry gave him a single penetrating look, then turned back to Fess, awaiting orders. Mew looked as piqued as was possible for a Ghastly with Mew-eyes.
- but that was perfectly useless when the power was controlled by a computer system that could be accessed from a panel atop the generator. A Porygon (or, technically, Pry) could go in, make the system crash, and get out in less than two seconds. A Porygon 2 (or, technically, Pry) took .0002 seconds. Fess could have done it herself - typing "/x" on the diagnostics selection screen would make anything using this OS crash - but why did she have Pry anyway? -
*What is she doing now?* asked Mew hesitantly, following Fess across the street. Pry had summarily finished mishandling the security system, shrunk very small, and vanished into a crack in the shoddy generator housing. Loud banging came from within.
"Makin' noise ta get brilliant in there outside -" The blond woman had grabbed a telephone and was yelling into it frustratedly. The Raticate was chewing on the hairbrush with single-minded intensity, wanting it completely destroyed by the time she was off the phone. "Nobody ever catches on that th' computer's been hacked, not messed wit' by Sentrets or somethin'."
*Won't they notice that you're standing over here?* The Rocket had kicked the Raticate out the door, hurling the hairbrush to the floor. Raticate skidded to a stop at the edge of the sidewalk and clung to the cement, refusing to move. The woman grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and carried her into the alley, hissing threats. *And what about the Porygon?*
"Don't worry 'bout her." Raticate was biting - brushing Raticates was generally a bad idea. They had large teeth.
*But they have Master Balls -* There was a slight edge to his voice.
"She'll be fine."
*But -*
"Come on. Ya wanted in. She don't have any Master Balls." Fess walked across the empty street, impervious to the strained Pokemon's protests.
*Yes she *does*.*
"Pry kin take care've herself."
*I *know* that woman has access to Master Balls -*
Fess opened the door, closed it carefully behind her, and wandered over to the door to the stairwell before answering. The anguished Gastly whipped around in front of her, looking apoplectic. "Clearly ya don't recognize a professional when ya see one. Th' definition of professional's someone who goes back ta bein' an executable in a Pokedex as soon's they hear Team Rocket comin'," Fess said. She heard a little strangled sound in the back of her mind, and he reluctantly moved out of her way.
*...they spend five trillion yen on psychic-proof shielding, then they use key locks,* Mew grumbled after a moment, looking backwards impatiently as she painstakingly manipulated the lock. "And leave the key jus' lyin' on the desk lotsa times, too," added Fess, dropping the bit of wire into her pocket as she swung to door open.
*YOU HAVE A KEY?! Why didn't you USE IT?!?!*
"Where's the fun in that?" The door closed quietly behind her. *I am *paying* you for this,* he said very controlledly after a moment. *I'd *think* it would have been faster and safer to use a key.*
"Yeah, woulda been. But I don't have one. Didn't pick it up. Ya know where yer goin' from here?"
*...The fifth floor down.* The stairwell had been removed and replaced with a cement hallway. "'scuse me - ya said the place was psychic-proof?"
*There's just a shield around the outside. I can do whatever I want *within* the shield.*
"Feh. 'scuses."
*Oh, yes, I *surely* made this *up*,* he snapped, abruptly transforming back into an enraged Mew. *Psychological breakdowns are something of a *hobby* of mine -*
"Don' go any further. It's disturbin'." He paused, baffled, then shook his head.
*Whatever. Please stand back.* Fess didn't move. He exhaled angrily and teleported himself backward several yards. Some sort of psychic thing involving a blinding flash of red light occurred - when Fess's vision cleared, a perfectly symmetrical hole had been melted into the floor, and the smell of burnt rock and metal filled the hallway. "Never found that sorta stuff interestin'. Why'd ya bother wit' that?"
*The entire security system for the the B-6 level is mounted below us. They aren't very smart,* he added as he disappeared into the floor. *Oh, there are TM's in the room three doors away from the hole, to your current left. You had might as well steal some - I'm going to destroy everything in there in a few minutes.*
"Good fer you. Better be quick - that level's where they make th' Master Balls, y'know. Giovanni's watchin'," she added before Mew could respond.
She opened the designated door unworriedly - there were rarely security cameras this far down. Sadly, this was not the case in this room. Fess waved cheerfully at the camera and studied the shelf of TM's. There were a number of locked drawers embedded in the opposite wall, about the size to hold one Poke Ball each. "Must sneak out lotsa Safari Balls."
*HOW do people like you escape natural selection?* The floor was mysteriously warm under the soles of Fess's shoes, though she heard only minor hellish explosions through the door.
"I blame m' older brother. Always made me wear a sweater."
*...Whatever.*
Fess carefully selected one TM out of the several hundred available. "They don' have security systems in mosta th' lower floors. They've got the Teleport TM here. Magnemites, Butterfrees, Jigglypuffs, Voltorbs, Staryus -"
*Yes, they're not very smart - uh, they're also coming towards you - you should go across the hall now.*
"I expect you ta brainwash 'em 'bout me, thanks. Ya didn't mention the camera in there." The hole in the floor had apparently been sealed up a bit too late - there was a nasty stain on the ceiling above it, and the hallway was much hotter than the closed room. *Fine. Whatever. Be quiet.*
For reasons unclear, the room directly across the one containing several trillion yen worth of Poke Balls and TM's held a bunch of cardboard boxes of old Safari Balls.
"Good heavens! I think these're M'ster Balls!"
*...*
Fess sat down carefully behind a pile of boxes - the floor remained unnaturally warm, but the mass destruction sounded to have moved into the room she had just been in. The panicking criminals had finally reached the endangered part of their hideout - "WHAT IS DOING THAT?!?! Did that weirdo bring in a CHARIZARD?!" Mew made an indignant little noise.
"Whaaaat was that?"
"THINGS BLOWING UP, GENIUS!"
"Listen, Roger, you get your stupid Gyarados out and -"
"IN HERE?! Are you crazy?!"
"Who has a water Pokemon, then -"
"I've got Goldeeeeen!"
"It might not even *be* a Fire-type -"
"Okay, who's got the STRONGEST -"
"Me."
"Me!"
"MEEEEE!!!"
"Okay, bad question - look -"
"My Ariados could -"
"Oh, give it up already!"
"WE'RE GONNA LOOK FOR THAT GIRL. We can GET THE POKEMON if we get hold of its TRAINER. *Got it?*"
Mew growled. *I've only got two rooms to go - could you stall them for a couple minutes?*
"You had to've heard THAT! It's some guy taaaaalking! About staaaalling and stuuuuuff!"
"No problem," said Fess.
"Yaaagh! Where is he?"
"ANNIE, you STAY HERE. ROY, ROGER, we're going to START SEARCHING ROOMS. GOT IT?!"
"Okay, okay, okay!" Someone was having a good deal of difficulty with the doorknob.
"Owwwww! That door's HOT!"
"Actually, that's not too surprisin'," Fess decided. Mew was being quiet, deciding not to comment.
"I told YOU to stay HERE. In case she comes out while we're searching. OKAY?"
"WAH!"
"Hey, Oakley, do you have the key to -"
"You're turning the *knob* the wrong way."
"...oh. Wait -"
"Arrrrgh!" A woman with green hair shoved the door open and stormed in, flipping on the light switch. "*See?!* There are NO Wobbuffets HIDING in the SCARY dark -" she screamed at the nervous guy behind her. Another woman peeked in curiously.
"Roy? That's herrrrr." Fess decided not to get up. The ranting woman blinked and looked back into the room.
"Oh... okay. You're coming with US, bimbo!"
"No, thanks."
"CALL YOUR POKEMON OFF ALREADY!" yelled someone outside. "It's DESTROYED the Master Ball thingie! QUICK, make her STOP the thing!"
"Nice name." The green-haired woman blushed furiously.
"You call your crazy Pokemon BACK -"
"It's not a Pokemon. 's the Saffron Gym Leader."
"Sabrina?" Roy froze, a look of terror on her face. "Why's she doing THIS?" demanded Roger, looking bewildered and frightened.
Annie waved a hand in front of Roy's eyes. "You okaaaaay?"
"Some'un on Team Rocket stole a Pokemon of hers - a Vulpix wit' Faint Attack. She's pretty ticked."
"OAKLEEEEEY! Find the Vulpix that knows Faint Attaaaack!" wailed Annie, fleeing into the hallway. Roger looked around in confusion. "Search the compuuuter! It's *gotta* be there!"
"Uh - going, going -" Fess crossed her arms, smiling placidly.
"....uh - who are you?" asked Roger hesitantly, tapping Roy's arm.
"A Ditto."
"You are *not* -"
"*Here!*" A guy with bright orange hair appeared in the door, knocking over Roger and the still-paralyzed Roy. He threw a Poke Ball at her aggressively. "It's the only Vulpix with Faint Attack we've *got*! Take it and both of you *get out of here*!" Fess didn't move. "...please?"
"Yuh done?" Fess asked, dropping the Vulpix in her pocket. A yellow, clawed hand tapped her shoulder.
**What* was that, again?* The Kadabra asked, bewildered, as Fess unlocked the stairwell door again.
"Muh little brother's been lookin' fer a Vulpix who knows Faint Attack." The Raticate was sitting at the desk by herself, contentedly gnawing at a mouse cord. She looked up, waved, and looked back down, uninterested.
*...whatever.* Teleporting was a bit disorienting, but Fess intended to get used to it.
"Where's this?" Forests were everywhere, and looked the same everywhere.
*Viridian City's that way - do you need to get to someplace else?*
"Nope - but hold it - yuh said you'd answer a couple questions fer me?"
*Uh... I guess. What did you want to know?*
by Goz
Disclaimer: I own some merchandise. But I don't own any of the characters or anything...
Warning: This is a Pokemon fanfic about a girl who catches Mew. Written by a person with incomplete knowledge of the cartoon. Caveat emptor.
Timeline Note: Ash and Gary are seventeen, and have been defeating each other for the title of League Champion for several years. Misty and Brock have taken up their Gym Leader duties again.
Despite the League's attempts at regulation and arguments that their use is unethical, Master Balls have become far too common...
-
Prologue
-
If you really wanted Fess's services, you'd be on time; she didn't wait around for more than twenty minutes. The appointment had been for eight PM - it was now exactly eight twenty-one.
The email had stated the time in two different sentences, and the guy had said that he was saving a back-up copy. The directions to the cave had been very exact and the grammar had been impeccable. No mention had been made of what the guy wanted Fess to break into or how she would be paid. There had been no name attached. This was not the way the police worked when trying to entrap someone. So Fess had come.
"Gotta stop takin' the ones 'at sound weird." Fess talked to herself whenever she thought someone might be listening. "Yeah - sometimes they pay more. But use'ly they're just air." She dropped her backpack and started to spread out her sleeping bag.
"Less just go ta sleep anyway. Kwa kin get rid of 'im, if 'e shows up and tries ta bug me." Fess knew she sounded intoxicated. A blue-white light flashed, and Fess ordered the Quagsire shortly, "Guard. Wake me up 'bout a half-hour past dawn."
Fess did things that didn't make sense. But sometimes...
-
The way to tell whether a Quagsire was wild or tame was fairly simple. Wild ones were nocturnal, so any Quagsire who yawned at night was tame. This was trivia right now - Mew already knew that this was where the girl was - but he thought of it anyway. Quagsires yawned *loudly*.
And passed out quietly. The only sound to pierce the silence of the night was a dull thump, and a very quiet, woeful "Mew!" Mew always felt a little sick when he used Giga Drain. So many attacks just didn't feel right to his natural form.
Maybe, a long time ago, they had known more about it than he did now. But his theory was that the ancient Mews had died out because they just couldn't handle being able to use every attack in existence - he accidentally slipped completely into Transform a lot when using attacks like Crabhammer, and it was possible to get stuck while switching forms. Dittos generally died from it. It didn't explain the small number of Togepi and Clefairy, who learned Metronome but not Transform, but there could be other reasons for that.
The girl was not waking up - he had used Water Gun on her three times, and she didn't seem to notice, curled up on her side and breathing very quietly. Was she sedated? Frustrated, he whipped her face with his tail, still sore from the grass attack. He didn't have *time* to find someone else to get him into the problematic building - Talbot could catch up to him any time -
She jerked upward, not completely awake, and batted his tail away blindly. "*Pry!* How many times I gotta tell ya -"
*I knocked out your Quagsire.* Mew had quickly retreated to the shadowy back of the cave. The girl looked around swiftly, trying figure out where the voice was coming from. Then her eyes settled on the shadowy figure in the corner and went squinty, in a very odd display of surprise.
"Didja, then? Whadda you want?"
*I understand you're very good at breaking into places.*
The girl smiled grimly, eyes normal again. "Ya could say that."
*I need to get into Team Rocket headquarters. I have an Eevee, the three evolution stones, and directions to getting the other two evolutions if you can do it.* He felt slightly ill saying that, but at least the Eevee was a volunteer.
"Can and have. But I dunno what I'd do wit' that payment."
*Well, what do you want?* She tapped the side of her head, looking upward mock-thoughtfully.
"Kinda hard ta believe, but I've never run inta a legend'ry Pokemon before. How 'bout you answer a few questions fer me?" Of course she recognized him. Everyone knew what he looked like. He hesitated for a moment.
*I can do that. *After* you get me into the Rocket Headquarters.*
"Oh, ya wanna get in yerself?" She looked speculative. "I'll take the stones, too, then. But not th' Eevee."
*Fine.* That was one more ethical issue he didn't have to worry about.
"But I need one question answered now," she said sharply, holding up one hand. "How ya gonna get in without bein' seen? I generally go by m'self, ya know. An' when I don't, just wit' a Ghastly or something makin' sure I'm doin' what I'm supposed ta."
*I won't be seen,* he said, trying to sound mystical and impressive. He wondered if he ought to be offended by the thought that a Ghastly was better qualified than a Mew for something.
"You'd better not. I don't like bein' caught sneakin' inta Team Rocket HQ. When d'ya want me ta do it?"
*Tomorrow.*
"I assume ya kin teleport?"
*Yes.*
"Fine. Jus' come back fer me at 'bout six thirty. 'll be ready." That was clearly a dismissal. He smoldered inwardly as the cave dematerialized around him. *Don't I get any respect from *anyone*? I hate being the cute one.*
Another cave, halfway around the world. There were a few hundred cave systems with points it would take two days walking to get to. There were only about forty fragile enough that a Diglett or Onix couldn't be used to get to fractionalize the time - and these were important when someone always knew where you were...
-
"H'mph!" Fess was digging through her backpack with one hand, smiling grimly straight ahead at the wall. "...takin' the weird 'ns..." She carefully pulled a Poke Ball out of her backpack. There was an "M" on the catch.
"'ll be ready."
-
Part 1: Unhappy Machines
-
For some reason, it was possible to use items - evolution stones, potions, TM's - on Pokemon still inside their balls. You poured liquids and opened TM's into the catch - it looked weird as all-get-out, but the ball would act as though the catch weren't there, and you were just pouring into a hole. You just touched the stones to any part of the ball. Renee had evolved her Sunkern that way; she said Pokemon adjusted to evolution more easily if they evolved still in the Poke Ball. And of course, your Pokemon wouldn't have a chance to interrogate you if you put them away before you revived them...
And Master Balls glowed when you did anything of the kind. Strange world. Somewhere, a giant rock snake was inside a little machine about the size of her fist. And a pink sheep was easily defeating a huge dragon. And one teenager from Pallet Town was beating up another for the most coveted position in the world, and no one was even bothering to watch this time.
And somewhere near Vermilion City, a Gym Leader's little sister was hiding behind a stalagtite with a Master Ball, and a mythical pink thing was appearing in exactly the perfect spot. He blinked and froze, outraged.
*I'll be very unhappy if you use that.* Fess paused for a tenth of a second, shrugged, and threw the Poke Ball. There was a little flash of light, and the ball hit the ground softly.
"How depressin'." Fess walked over to the Poke Ball, picked it up, and pressed the button. Before he could Teleport away, she said quickly, "Sorry. Jus' wanted ta be able ta say I did that."
**Excuse* me?!*
"Wanted ta be able ta say I did that." Mew looked confounded, apparently too confused to leave. "Hey, come on, I had a Master Ball an' there wuz a legend'ry Pokemon. If I ever write an autobiography, it'd sell out right 'way." He was backing away, looking bewildered and angry. *And *how* do you intend to convince anyone that you *caught* me?!*
"I don't. But if I kin say I did an' it's true an' no one believes it, I'll be right an' they'll be wrong." Fess said it as though it made perfect sense.
Mew put one hand to his forehead, aggravated. *That makes *no* sense -*
"'course it doesn't. Now, ya wanted me ta break inta Team Rocket's basement?"
He shook his head in vexation, giving up. *I guess so... uh, are you ready now?*
"Always. Ya know what yer lookin' fer, right?" Fess asked as she dragged her backpack towards her with her foot.
*Yes. I just haven't been able to get in -* Fess stumbled backwards as the cave around her was suddenly replaced by an empty road. *- but I know exactly where to go once I'm inside,* Mew continued without a break. *The talking Meowth sold a map to a Sneasel -*
"The guy musta taken his time at gettin' disgruntled," Fess interrupted, walking off ahead. The light was still dim and bluish here, and the distracted little cat-thing was quite visible.
*What? No, he just wanted a ball of yarn the Sneasel had.*
"Impressive criminals."
*Well... sometimes. Oh -* The pink spot at the edge of Fess's vision suddenly vanished, and she looked back quickly. There was a little Ghastly with curiously oversized eyes in Mew's place. "Ya know Transform?"
*Yes - uh, I mean - sort of.*
"I'd go wit' a Misdreavus."
*They can't use Hypnosis.* Fess covered her eyes. *Not for you. In case someone sees me.*
"It's hard ta notice Ghastlies unless they got their eyes all deformed." Ghastlies only had the big, goofy eyes when they *wanted* to be seen.
*Ghastlies see funny. I don't like to use their eyes,* he said touchily.
"Then use a Misdreavus or somethin'."
*They can't use Hypnosis.* Fess gave up.
Celadon was an intensely boring city - even the *coffee* places didn't open until seven. As it was six right now, the only thing open was an important-looking gray building with lots of reflecting glass and an expensive sign saying "Unicorp, Inc".
"If that's not an indication've evil, I dunno what is." Fess slipped into the narrow alley to the right - the woman behind the desk inside was struggling to keep an indignant Raticate still enough to be brushed, paying no attention to what went on outside. The power for the lobby security cameras came from a little Voltorb-powered generator tacked onto the side of the building. The wires were hard to cut - they were coated with very thick rubber -
*Huh?*
"Never mind." Fess snapped her Pokedex open, hit "Run", and typed "C:\pry.exe". A Porygon 2 materialized at her shoulder, startling the odd-looking Ghastly. "Leee!" Pry gave him a single penetrating look, then turned back to Fess, awaiting orders. Mew looked as piqued as was possible for a Ghastly with Mew-eyes.
- but that was perfectly useless when the power was controlled by a computer system that could be accessed from a panel atop the generator. A Porygon (or, technically, Pry) could go in, make the system crash, and get out in less than two seconds. A Porygon 2 (or, technically, Pry) took .0002 seconds. Fess could have done it herself - typing "/x" on the diagnostics selection screen would make anything using this OS crash - but why did she have Pry anyway? -
*What is she doing now?* asked Mew hesitantly, following Fess across the street. Pry had summarily finished mishandling the security system, shrunk very small, and vanished into a crack in the shoddy generator housing. Loud banging came from within.
"Makin' noise ta get brilliant in there outside -" The blond woman had grabbed a telephone and was yelling into it frustratedly. The Raticate was chewing on the hairbrush with single-minded intensity, wanting it completely destroyed by the time she was off the phone. "Nobody ever catches on that th' computer's been hacked, not messed wit' by Sentrets or somethin'."
*Won't they notice that you're standing over here?* The Rocket had kicked the Raticate out the door, hurling the hairbrush to the floor. Raticate skidded to a stop at the edge of the sidewalk and clung to the cement, refusing to move. The woman grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and carried her into the alley, hissing threats. *And what about the Porygon?*
"Don't worry 'bout her." Raticate was biting - brushing Raticates was generally a bad idea. They had large teeth.
*But they have Master Balls -* There was a slight edge to his voice.
"She'll be fine."
*But -*
"Come on. Ya wanted in. She don't have any Master Balls." Fess walked across the empty street, impervious to the strained Pokemon's protests.
*Yes she *does*.*
"Pry kin take care've herself."
*I *know* that woman has access to Master Balls -*
Fess opened the door, closed it carefully behind her, and wandered over to the door to the stairwell before answering. The anguished Gastly whipped around in front of her, looking apoplectic. "Clearly ya don't recognize a professional when ya see one. Th' definition of professional's someone who goes back ta bein' an executable in a Pokedex as soon's they hear Team Rocket comin'," Fess said. She heard a little strangled sound in the back of her mind, and he reluctantly moved out of her way.
*...they spend five trillion yen on psychic-proof shielding, then they use key locks,* Mew grumbled after a moment, looking backwards impatiently as she painstakingly manipulated the lock. "And leave the key jus' lyin' on the desk lotsa times, too," added Fess, dropping the bit of wire into her pocket as she swung to door open.
*YOU HAVE A KEY?! Why didn't you USE IT?!?!*
"Where's the fun in that?" The door closed quietly behind her. *I am *paying* you for this,* he said very controlledly after a moment. *I'd *think* it would have been faster and safer to use a key.*
"Yeah, woulda been. But I don't have one. Didn't pick it up. Ya know where yer goin' from here?"
*...The fifth floor down.* The stairwell had been removed and replaced with a cement hallway. "'scuse me - ya said the place was psychic-proof?"
*There's just a shield around the outside. I can do whatever I want *within* the shield.*
"Feh. 'scuses."
*Oh, yes, I *surely* made this *up*,* he snapped, abruptly transforming back into an enraged Mew. *Psychological breakdowns are something of a *hobby* of mine -*
"Don' go any further. It's disturbin'." He paused, baffled, then shook his head.
*Whatever. Please stand back.* Fess didn't move. He exhaled angrily and teleported himself backward several yards. Some sort of psychic thing involving a blinding flash of red light occurred - when Fess's vision cleared, a perfectly symmetrical hole had been melted into the floor, and the smell of burnt rock and metal filled the hallway. "Never found that sorta stuff interestin'. Why'd ya bother wit' that?"
*The entire security system for the the B-6 level is mounted below us. They aren't very smart,* he added as he disappeared into the floor. *Oh, there are TM's in the room three doors away from the hole, to your current left. You had might as well steal some - I'm going to destroy everything in there in a few minutes.*
"Good fer you. Better be quick - that level's where they make th' Master Balls, y'know. Giovanni's watchin'," she added before Mew could respond.
She opened the designated door unworriedly - there were rarely security cameras this far down. Sadly, this was not the case in this room. Fess waved cheerfully at the camera and studied the shelf of TM's. There were a number of locked drawers embedded in the opposite wall, about the size to hold one Poke Ball each. "Must sneak out lotsa Safari Balls."
*HOW do people like you escape natural selection?* The floor was mysteriously warm under the soles of Fess's shoes, though she heard only minor hellish explosions through the door.
"I blame m' older brother. Always made me wear a sweater."
*...Whatever.*
Fess carefully selected one TM out of the several hundred available. "They don' have security systems in mosta th' lower floors. They've got the Teleport TM here. Magnemites, Butterfrees, Jigglypuffs, Voltorbs, Staryus -"
*Yes, they're not very smart - uh, they're also coming towards you - you should go across the hall now.*
"I expect you ta brainwash 'em 'bout me, thanks. Ya didn't mention the camera in there." The hole in the floor had apparently been sealed up a bit too late - there was a nasty stain on the ceiling above it, and the hallway was much hotter than the closed room. *Fine. Whatever. Be quiet.*
For reasons unclear, the room directly across the one containing several trillion yen worth of Poke Balls and TM's held a bunch of cardboard boxes of old Safari Balls.
"Good heavens! I think these're M'ster Balls!"
*...*
Fess sat down carefully behind a pile of boxes - the floor remained unnaturally warm, but the mass destruction sounded to have moved into the room she had just been in. The panicking criminals had finally reached the endangered part of their hideout - "WHAT IS DOING THAT?!?! Did that weirdo bring in a CHARIZARD?!" Mew made an indignant little noise.
"Whaaaat was that?"
"THINGS BLOWING UP, GENIUS!"
"Listen, Roger, you get your stupid Gyarados out and -"
"IN HERE?! Are you crazy?!"
"Who has a water Pokemon, then -"
"I've got Goldeeeeen!"
"It might not even *be* a Fire-type -"
"Okay, who's got the STRONGEST -"
"Me."
"Me!"
"MEEEEE!!!"
"Okay, bad question - look -"
"My Ariados could -"
"Oh, give it up already!"
"WE'RE GONNA LOOK FOR THAT GIRL. We can GET THE POKEMON if we get hold of its TRAINER. *Got it?*"
Mew growled. *I've only got two rooms to go - could you stall them for a couple minutes?*
"You had to've heard THAT! It's some guy taaaaalking! About staaaalling and stuuuuuff!"
"No problem," said Fess.
"Yaaagh! Where is he?"
"ANNIE, you STAY HERE. ROY, ROGER, we're going to START SEARCHING ROOMS. GOT IT?!"
"Okay, okay, okay!" Someone was having a good deal of difficulty with the doorknob.
"Owwwww! That door's HOT!"
"Actually, that's not too surprisin'," Fess decided. Mew was being quiet, deciding not to comment.
"I told YOU to stay HERE. In case she comes out while we're searching. OKAY?"
"WAH!"
"Hey, Oakley, do you have the key to -"
"You're turning the *knob* the wrong way."
"...oh. Wait -"
"Arrrrgh!" A woman with green hair shoved the door open and stormed in, flipping on the light switch. "*See?!* There are NO Wobbuffets HIDING in the SCARY dark -" she screamed at the nervous guy behind her. Another woman peeked in curiously.
"Roy? That's herrrrr." Fess decided not to get up. The ranting woman blinked and looked back into the room.
"Oh... okay. You're coming with US, bimbo!"
"No, thanks."
"CALL YOUR POKEMON OFF ALREADY!" yelled someone outside. "It's DESTROYED the Master Ball thingie! QUICK, make her STOP the thing!"
"Nice name." The green-haired woman blushed furiously.
"You call your crazy Pokemon BACK -"
"It's not a Pokemon. 's the Saffron Gym Leader."
"Sabrina?" Roy froze, a look of terror on her face. "Why's she doing THIS?" demanded Roger, looking bewildered and frightened.
Annie waved a hand in front of Roy's eyes. "You okaaaaay?"
"Some'un on Team Rocket stole a Pokemon of hers - a Vulpix wit' Faint Attack. She's pretty ticked."
"OAKLEEEEEY! Find the Vulpix that knows Faint Attaaaack!" wailed Annie, fleeing into the hallway. Roger looked around in confusion. "Search the compuuuter! It's *gotta* be there!"
"Uh - going, going -" Fess crossed her arms, smiling placidly.
"....uh - who are you?" asked Roger hesitantly, tapping Roy's arm.
"A Ditto."
"You are *not* -"
"*Here!*" A guy with bright orange hair appeared in the door, knocking over Roger and the still-paralyzed Roy. He threw a Poke Ball at her aggressively. "It's the only Vulpix with Faint Attack we've *got*! Take it and both of you *get out of here*!" Fess didn't move. "...please?"
"Yuh done?" Fess asked, dropping the Vulpix in her pocket. A yellow, clawed hand tapped her shoulder.
**What* was that, again?* The Kadabra asked, bewildered, as Fess unlocked the stairwell door again.
"Muh little brother's been lookin' fer a Vulpix who knows Faint Attack." The Raticate was sitting at the desk by herself, contentedly gnawing at a mouse cord. She looked up, waved, and looked back down, uninterested.
*...whatever.* Teleporting was a bit disorienting, but Fess intended to get used to it.
"Where's this?" Forests were everywhere, and looked the same everywhere.
*Viridian City's that way - do you need to get to someplace else?*
"Nope - but hold it - yuh said you'd answer a couple questions fer me?"
*Uh... I guess. What did you want to know?*