White Wolf Spirit is back, but depressed. Cheer me up by reviewing my fic.
It's quite depressing, like me, but please give it a go.
Is it worth it?
I sit here thinking of all the things that you said to me. You told me that I had problems, issues, you said I was depressed. God you don't know how close you are to the truth.
When every day of your life is used living a nightmare that you can't escape, you start to realise that it isn't a joke anymore, when really it never was. Every day becomes that of pain and wishes of death. Sweet death that will embrace you in its darkness, rock you into a world where you are set free forever. As the day turns to night, these thoughts plague your mind, not allowing you to sleep, haunting not only every living moment, but also every moment you spend in the moonlight.
I really have no friends, you proved that to me when you told me that I am not social, that I was better left alone where the only person I can trust, is myself. But that's not true, so many times have I betrayed myself, so many times have I endangered those around me. I have seen family and innocent people die all because of me.
That's when the barriers started to lock me in my own mind, that's when I found at least a bit of safety for me, for my friends that I never really had. When I first saw you, I thought you were different, but even the most wary and cautious people like me, seem to get things like this so wrong. As I began to let the barriers that encased me down, I formed a mutual trust, even though I act as though I despise you, on the inside, I am warming to you. Now as I gaze at what I have become, the defences go back up to protect you and the rest. I refuse to allow you to break what I have left, and allow them to take you away. To many times have I seen it done.
Now as you lecture me through what I have done wrong, I think of ways to protect you, and I come up with, me leaving you all for good. You will become great at what you practice and ensure yourself a shinning future.without me.
I feel light-headed and get up, turning to the door. I think you all realise that something is wrong, so instead of trying to stop me, you all follow, like sheep. I walk out of the hotel that we are staying in and walk deep into the night that had become mine. Your friends, that are also supposed to be mine, are quicker and one of them grabs my arm desperately.
I turn to face him. Still lost in thought as he gazes into my eyes. I show all the emotion that I have locked up for years, sorrow, fear, compassion, angst. So many emotion that I am not used to. The words you used to describe me were 'void of feelings.' Is that true, am I heart less? Do I understand as much as I think I do? I grip the blade in my pocket silently. Faithfully, it cuts at my palm. Soon I will use to do what I have only dreamed of, to be set free once and for all.
I look forward to seeing my dark companions, and can't wait to rid myself of this poor excuse for a world.
Slowly, I turn and walk away as you and your friends stand dumbfounded at my retreating back. I head for the hotel once more.
Man I'm depressed. Well? What do you think? Took me ten mins to write, but I've been feeling depressed for days. Tell ya what, if you review, I'll give ya a cookie and a plushie! ^___^. R&R y'all please.
The depressed darkness
Is it worth it?
I sit here thinking of all the things that you said to me. You told me that I had problems, issues, you said I was depressed. God you don't know how close you are to the truth.
When every day of your life is used living a nightmare that you can't escape, you start to realise that it isn't a joke anymore, when really it never was. Every day becomes that of pain and wishes of death. Sweet death that will embrace you in its darkness, rock you into a world where you are set free forever. As the day turns to night, these thoughts plague your mind, not allowing you to sleep, haunting not only every living moment, but also every moment you spend in the moonlight.
I really have no friends, you proved that to me when you told me that I am not social, that I was better left alone where the only person I can trust, is myself. But that's not true, so many times have I betrayed myself, so many times have I endangered those around me. I have seen family and innocent people die all because of me.
That's when the barriers started to lock me in my own mind, that's when I found at least a bit of safety for me, for my friends that I never really had. When I first saw you, I thought you were different, but even the most wary and cautious people like me, seem to get things like this so wrong. As I began to let the barriers that encased me down, I formed a mutual trust, even though I act as though I despise you, on the inside, I am warming to you. Now as I gaze at what I have become, the defences go back up to protect you and the rest. I refuse to allow you to break what I have left, and allow them to take you away. To many times have I seen it done.
Now as you lecture me through what I have done wrong, I think of ways to protect you, and I come up with, me leaving you all for good. You will become great at what you practice and ensure yourself a shinning future.without me.
I feel light-headed and get up, turning to the door. I think you all realise that something is wrong, so instead of trying to stop me, you all follow, like sheep. I walk out of the hotel that we are staying in and walk deep into the night that had become mine. Your friends, that are also supposed to be mine, are quicker and one of them grabs my arm desperately.
I turn to face him. Still lost in thought as he gazes into my eyes. I show all the emotion that I have locked up for years, sorrow, fear, compassion, angst. So many emotion that I am not used to. The words you used to describe me were 'void of feelings.' Is that true, am I heart less? Do I understand as much as I think I do? I grip the blade in my pocket silently. Faithfully, it cuts at my palm. Soon I will use to do what I have only dreamed of, to be set free once and for all.
I look forward to seeing my dark companions, and can't wait to rid myself of this poor excuse for a world.
Slowly, I turn and walk away as you and your friends stand dumbfounded at my retreating back. I head for the hotel once more.
Man I'm depressed. Well? What do you think? Took me ten mins to write, but I've been feeling depressed for days. Tell ya what, if you review, I'll give ya a cookie and a plushie! ^___^. R&R y'all please.
The depressed darkness