The following story takes place in a Universe separate from the one written by EVA's original director. As the new director, I dictate a story set in a universe in which…
The 11th Angel was the last one. The Angels stopped coming after that. Misato and the three children are now out of a job, and too lazy to go to school. They live on the pension money given to them by NERV, but now that NERV is starting to disband, they need a new source of income….hence the birth of…
The Eva Music Makers!
A.D. 2016
Tokyo-3
"Whoever welcomes this child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all-he is the greatest." – Luke 9:48
CHAPTER 1: Beginning
---
Whenever we ask ourselves what we want most, we often end up with what we need the least. So it was with Asuka on the occasion Misato asked her, "What do you want to do with your life?"
Asuka paused. She'd never considered this question before.
She stared around at the tables in the basement woodshop, covered with sawdust and cracking from age. Misato had been doing "a little project" underneath the house, and she hadn't let anyone else in on it-not yet, at least.
Asuka looked back at Misato, who was patiently waiting for the answer. In her day-to-day living, the only thing Asuka had ever given thought to was the question of surmounting the obstacles directly ahead of her, and projecting a self-image of strength for others to observe.
She averted her eyes from Misato's eager, shining face.
"Well, defeat my enemies," she said calmly.
"What else would I want?"
Misato looked her over.
"But the war with the Angels is over. After your unparalleled joint attack with Shinji on the 11th Angel, SEELE decided to abandon the instrumentality project out of fear that Shinji and you would discover their location and destroy them, and somehow the Angels stopped coming. Now NERV can't keep supporting You, Shinji, or Rei, and frankly, I don't have the cash to do it, either."
Asuka snorted. "Tell me something I don't already know."
She tossed her glossy red hair confidently. "I'm sure Hikari's family would take me in if I had nowhere else to go."
Misato's eyes narrowed. "Would you come to them begging?"
Asuka realized that she'd never thought of that. "No, absolutely not."
"Well then, I've been thinking. Me, you, and Rei always used to sing the intros to the Evangelion episodes, and we were spectacular, according to the viewers, at least. You've finished college, Shinji's exempt from high school due to his hero status, and Rei's never going to have a real day job anyway, so why not…" Misato's voice trailed off.
"Why not what?" Asuka leaned in impatiently.
"I've been thinking…it's not too unreasonable to ask you guys to help me with a project that I've been considering for a very long time…"
"…..Well?"
Misato smiled and lifted her arm gradually, slowly revealing a rough wooden object she'd been holding under the table. It had a roughly hewn wooden head, and…a neck…and…strings…and…frets….
"Form a professional garage band?"
Asuka's mouth gaped open.
"A what??!?!?"
"You heard me. A garage band."
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
-----
Shinji lay wide awake in the upper story bedroom, listening to some songs on his SDAT that Rei had downloaded for him. Ah, the wonderful Rei. Now that the missions were over, Rei sometimes stopped by to talk about the memories, and generally to annoy Asuka, who still called her "Wonder-girl." Rei would never really retaliate, except for the occasional exhibition annoying habit. Rei was just like that. She never really harbored ill sentiments; she was far too peaceful.
But Asuka had been particularly harsh on Rei lately. Shinji didn't really know why. He had never understood Asuka to begin with, and she was even more mysterious now that they had nothing tangible to live for. With the Eva missions having ended more than a year ago, Shinji had grown into "a more mature boy," as Misato put it. But Asuka? Same as always. Her outbursts went from bad to worse. Gray day? "Why are you sad, Shinji? You're ruining my day!"
Problems with the penguin?
"Shinji, why didn't you feed Pen pen? You didn't feed him, so he just ate the cookies Hikari made me!" And there was something else. He could hear her crying at night. Misato thought that it might be the effect of the Eva missions, but nothing truly traumatic had happened while fighting any of the eleven Angels. Shinji didn't want to meddle in her affairs, but when she felt sad, he played the cello for her, and it was quite often that he found her at his door, her face a striking mix of red cheeks and puffy eyes. He knew how to comfort her then. But sometimes it was hard to tell whether she was truly mad.
There was one particular incident in which Rei spilled coffee on Shinji's pants, and then quickly tried to rub it off with a towel, causing Shinji to flinch and Asuka to yell, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, WONDERGIRL??"
Shinji had tried to defend Rei, but Asuka had just punched him.
Then she yelled at Rei for being clumsy.
Then she yelled at Misato…for something. He didn't remember.
Afterwards, when asked why she flamed up so suddenly, she replied, with her nose upturned, "It was a shameful waste of perfectly good coffee." Shinji had almost felt hurt that she didn't even give thought to the degrading injury he'd received, but he was surprised to find that his only lasting impression from this incident was the notion that she looked quite cute with an upturned nose.
He jumped out of his bed as a scream from the basement jolted him back to reality.
"Misato-she-Misato-" Asuka came in running, hauling a roughly carved wooden instrument she had cracked in half.
She bent over, slapping the ground hard and yelling in frustration. Tears streamed from her eyes, soiling Shinji's well-kept rug. Shinji wanted to tell her about the rug problem, but he was so shocked that he merely watched.
Grabbing him by the shirt, Asuka planted her wet face on his stomach. She mumbled a few words he couldn't decipher.
Shinji merely stood there.
Finally, he said, "Asuka, are you okay?"
"Misato-she-Trying to make us her slaves!!"
She was crying, but her sobs contained more anger than sorrow.
"I see."
"No you don't, you don't have any idea! You're just a BAKA, a stupid, stupid BAKA!"
"Oh..." Shinij said. "She told you about the garage band idea-"
"WHAT????!?!? She told you FIRST?!?"
Moments later, Misato burst into the room, carrying tissues in both hands.
Seeing Asuka, she gave a look of mock-surprise, then gave Shinji an accusatory glare.
"What did you do to her, SHINJI?"
"She-I-"
"I want you to tell me what you did RIGHT NOW!"
"She ran in-cried-"
"You're not making sense, Shinji!" Misato yelled.
Asuka turned around, her face red, eyes wild, and pointed a condemning finger at Misato.
"She's trying to make us her slaves!"
"Shinji, what did you tell her? Are you trying to turn my precious against me?" Misato demanded.
"I didn't say anything. She said something about the ba-"
"SHINJI!" Misato quickly broke in. "If you can't account for her behavior in FIVE SECONDS, I'm grounding you for the rest of your life. No talking to Rei EVER AGAIN!"
Shinji tried to explain himself again.
"She said you made-"
Asuka wailed afresh, sobbing as she said, "Misato's trying to-"
"FIVE SECONDS!" Misato yelled, a strangely desperate look in her face.
"She said that you-" Shinji started.
Misato did a double-take. "Me? This is YOUR fault! What did you do?!?"
"I didn't-"
"What? What? You're not being coherent!"
Shinji sighed. "Misato, I'd explain it if you actually let me say someth-"
"Just tell me what you DID!"
"But Misa-"
"FIVE SECONDS!!"
Shinji panicked. How could he survive without Rei? Secondly, what was going on? He glanced at Asuka. She looked like she was trying to say something to him, but it was heard to hear her through the sobs.
She managed, "It's not you, it's Mi-"
"FOUR!"
"Stupid Misato!-" Asuka shrieked.
"THREE!"
"Shinji, Don't let her make-"
"TWO!"
"Misato, you watch your back!"
"ONE!"
"Ok, ok!!" Shinji wildly searched his mind for an idea-any idea. Something hit him. He remembered reading a helpful email about situations that agitated women. Now, which one should he pick?
"Asuka-Asuka's having a baby-"
SLAP!
Shinji fell to the ground, shocked. So she was having a baby!
Asuka wailed even harder. "YOU IDIOT! You're all against me! I can't stand being around any of you!"
Misato opened her mouth and roared. "That's enough! Shinji, you're an idiot! Stop harassing Asuka at once!"
"But-"
"I won't hear it! If I hear another cry from Asuka, you are-"
Asuka opened her mouth.
"I HATE YOU, MISATO!!!!!!!!!!!"
Shinji ran.
Two hours later…
Asuka walked in, a bit red and tired from her crying. She looked at Shinji, trying to gauge his feelings. Shinji looked back, and some of the sympathy he felt showed in his face. But he was still confused about what she had distressed her.
Asuka approached him.
"Shinji, I'm sorry if I made an idiot of myself earlier. I was so shocked by the news Misato gave me that I took all my anger out on you."
She looked sheepishly at the floor. "I'm sorry if I ruined the carpet. Or your shirt."
"It's…um…ok," he said softly.
"And don't blame yourself for everything that happened. Misato was trying to pin all the blame on you. Personally, I think she's a bit of a hypocrite. You're not the one harassing me."
Shinji was strangely moved by her words, so he looked away at the window to avoid her warm gaze. He tried to say something, but he couldn't think. Asuka always had that effect on him, somehow.
Outside, the sun was still quite high in the sky. Squirrels frolicked in the still-dew-coated grass, as clouds observed from on high.
Asuka made circles on the floor with her feet. "Uh, Shinji, how come she told you about the band idea first? Are you supposed to be the leader?"
Shinji blushed. This was going to be hard.
He found himself making circles on the floor as well.
"Actually, the band was my idea, so-"
"YOUR IDEA?!"
"You know how we need lot's of money, and-and-"
"BAKAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Shinji floated out the window in slow motion. Outside, an old man on his morning walk turned to see a teenage boy shoot straight through the window, parallel to the pavement. A girl could be heard sobbing loudly, accompanied by the loud yells of a 30-year old woman. The old man looked at the sun, then at the boy, who had landed in a thorny bush. He chuckled, shaking his head. Young people.
The 11th Angel was the last one. The Angels stopped coming after that. Misato and the three children are now out of a job, and too lazy to go to school. They live on the pension money given to them by NERV, but now that NERV is starting to disband, they need a new source of income….hence the birth of…
The Eva Music Makers!
A.D. 2016
Tokyo-3
"Whoever welcomes this child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all-he is the greatest." – Luke 9:48
CHAPTER 1: Beginning
---
Whenever we ask ourselves what we want most, we often end up with what we need the least. So it was with Asuka on the occasion Misato asked her, "What do you want to do with your life?"
Asuka paused. She'd never considered this question before.
She stared around at the tables in the basement woodshop, covered with sawdust and cracking from age. Misato had been doing "a little project" underneath the house, and she hadn't let anyone else in on it-not yet, at least.
Asuka looked back at Misato, who was patiently waiting for the answer. In her day-to-day living, the only thing Asuka had ever given thought to was the question of surmounting the obstacles directly ahead of her, and projecting a self-image of strength for others to observe.
She averted her eyes from Misato's eager, shining face.
"Well, defeat my enemies," she said calmly.
"What else would I want?"
Misato looked her over.
"But the war with the Angels is over. After your unparalleled joint attack with Shinji on the 11th Angel, SEELE decided to abandon the instrumentality project out of fear that Shinji and you would discover their location and destroy them, and somehow the Angels stopped coming. Now NERV can't keep supporting You, Shinji, or Rei, and frankly, I don't have the cash to do it, either."
Asuka snorted. "Tell me something I don't already know."
She tossed her glossy red hair confidently. "I'm sure Hikari's family would take me in if I had nowhere else to go."
Misato's eyes narrowed. "Would you come to them begging?"
Asuka realized that she'd never thought of that. "No, absolutely not."
"Well then, I've been thinking. Me, you, and Rei always used to sing the intros to the Evangelion episodes, and we were spectacular, according to the viewers, at least. You've finished college, Shinji's exempt from high school due to his hero status, and Rei's never going to have a real day job anyway, so why not…" Misato's voice trailed off.
"Why not what?" Asuka leaned in impatiently.
"I've been thinking…it's not too unreasonable to ask you guys to help me with a project that I've been considering for a very long time…"
"…..Well?"
Misato smiled and lifted her arm gradually, slowly revealing a rough wooden object she'd been holding under the table. It had a roughly hewn wooden head, and…a neck…and…strings…and…frets….
"Form a professional garage band?"
Asuka's mouth gaped open.
"A what??!?!?"
"You heard me. A garage band."
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
-----
Shinji lay wide awake in the upper story bedroom, listening to some songs on his SDAT that Rei had downloaded for him. Ah, the wonderful Rei. Now that the missions were over, Rei sometimes stopped by to talk about the memories, and generally to annoy Asuka, who still called her "Wonder-girl." Rei would never really retaliate, except for the occasional exhibition annoying habit. Rei was just like that. She never really harbored ill sentiments; she was far too peaceful.
But Asuka had been particularly harsh on Rei lately. Shinji didn't really know why. He had never understood Asuka to begin with, and she was even more mysterious now that they had nothing tangible to live for. With the Eva missions having ended more than a year ago, Shinji had grown into "a more mature boy," as Misato put it. But Asuka? Same as always. Her outbursts went from bad to worse. Gray day? "Why are you sad, Shinji? You're ruining my day!"
Problems with the penguin?
"Shinji, why didn't you feed Pen pen? You didn't feed him, so he just ate the cookies Hikari made me!" And there was something else. He could hear her crying at night. Misato thought that it might be the effect of the Eva missions, but nothing truly traumatic had happened while fighting any of the eleven Angels. Shinji didn't want to meddle in her affairs, but when she felt sad, he played the cello for her, and it was quite often that he found her at his door, her face a striking mix of red cheeks and puffy eyes. He knew how to comfort her then. But sometimes it was hard to tell whether she was truly mad.
There was one particular incident in which Rei spilled coffee on Shinji's pants, and then quickly tried to rub it off with a towel, causing Shinji to flinch and Asuka to yell, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, WONDERGIRL??"
Shinji had tried to defend Rei, but Asuka had just punched him.
Then she yelled at Rei for being clumsy.
Then she yelled at Misato…for something. He didn't remember.
Afterwards, when asked why she flamed up so suddenly, she replied, with her nose upturned, "It was a shameful waste of perfectly good coffee." Shinji had almost felt hurt that she didn't even give thought to the degrading injury he'd received, but he was surprised to find that his only lasting impression from this incident was the notion that she looked quite cute with an upturned nose.
He jumped out of his bed as a scream from the basement jolted him back to reality.
"Misato-she-Misato-" Asuka came in running, hauling a roughly carved wooden instrument she had cracked in half.
She bent over, slapping the ground hard and yelling in frustration. Tears streamed from her eyes, soiling Shinji's well-kept rug. Shinji wanted to tell her about the rug problem, but he was so shocked that he merely watched.
Grabbing him by the shirt, Asuka planted her wet face on his stomach. She mumbled a few words he couldn't decipher.
Shinji merely stood there.
Finally, he said, "Asuka, are you okay?"
"Misato-she-Trying to make us her slaves!!"
She was crying, but her sobs contained more anger than sorrow.
"I see."
"No you don't, you don't have any idea! You're just a BAKA, a stupid, stupid BAKA!"
"Oh..." Shinij said. "She told you about the garage band idea-"
"WHAT????!?!? She told you FIRST?!?"
Moments later, Misato burst into the room, carrying tissues in both hands.
Seeing Asuka, she gave a look of mock-surprise, then gave Shinji an accusatory glare.
"What did you do to her, SHINJI?"
"She-I-"
"I want you to tell me what you did RIGHT NOW!"
"She ran in-cried-"
"You're not making sense, Shinji!" Misato yelled.
Asuka turned around, her face red, eyes wild, and pointed a condemning finger at Misato.
"She's trying to make us her slaves!"
"Shinji, what did you tell her? Are you trying to turn my precious against me?" Misato demanded.
"I didn't say anything. She said something about the ba-"
"SHINJI!" Misato quickly broke in. "If you can't account for her behavior in FIVE SECONDS, I'm grounding you for the rest of your life. No talking to Rei EVER AGAIN!"
Shinji tried to explain himself again.
"She said you made-"
Asuka wailed afresh, sobbing as she said, "Misato's trying to-"
"FIVE SECONDS!" Misato yelled, a strangely desperate look in her face.
"She said that you-" Shinji started.
Misato did a double-take. "Me? This is YOUR fault! What did you do?!?"
"I didn't-"
"What? What? You're not being coherent!"
Shinji sighed. "Misato, I'd explain it if you actually let me say someth-"
"Just tell me what you DID!"
"But Misa-"
"FIVE SECONDS!!"
Shinji panicked. How could he survive without Rei? Secondly, what was going on? He glanced at Asuka. She looked like she was trying to say something to him, but it was heard to hear her through the sobs.
She managed, "It's not you, it's Mi-"
"FOUR!"
"Stupid Misato!-" Asuka shrieked.
"THREE!"
"Shinji, Don't let her make-"
"TWO!"
"Misato, you watch your back!"
"ONE!"
"Ok, ok!!" Shinji wildly searched his mind for an idea-any idea. Something hit him. He remembered reading a helpful email about situations that agitated women. Now, which one should he pick?
"Asuka-Asuka's having a baby-"
SLAP!
Shinji fell to the ground, shocked. So she was having a baby!
Asuka wailed even harder. "YOU IDIOT! You're all against me! I can't stand being around any of you!"
Misato opened her mouth and roared. "That's enough! Shinji, you're an idiot! Stop harassing Asuka at once!"
"But-"
"I won't hear it! If I hear another cry from Asuka, you are-"
Asuka opened her mouth.
"I HATE YOU, MISATO!!!!!!!!!!!"
Shinji ran.
Two hours later…
Asuka walked in, a bit red and tired from her crying. She looked at Shinji, trying to gauge his feelings. Shinji looked back, and some of the sympathy he felt showed in his face. But he was still confused about what she had distressed her.
Asuka approached him.
"Shinji, I'm sorry if I made an idiot of myself earlier. I was so shocked by the news Misato gave me that I took all my anger out on you."
She looked sheepishly at the floor. "I'm sorry if I ruined the carpet. Or your shirt."
"It's…um…ok," he said softly.
"And don't blame yourself for everything that happened. Misato was trying to pin all the blame on you. Personally, I think she's a bit of a hypocrite. You're not the one harassing me."
Shinji was strangely moved by her words, so he looked away at the window to avoid her warm gaze. He tried to say something, but he couldn't think. Asuka always had that effect on him, somehow.
Outside, the sun was still quite high in the sky. Squirrels frolicked in the still-dew-coated grass, as clouds observed from on high.
Asuka made circles on the floor with her feet. "Uh, Shinji, how come she told you about the band idea first? Are you supposed to be the leader?"
Shinji blushed. This was going to be hard.
He found himself making circles on the floor as well.
"Actually, the band was my idea, so-"
"YOUR IDEA?!"
"You know how we need lot's of money, and-and-"
"BAKAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Shinji floated out the window in slow motion. Outside, an old man on his morning walk turned to see a teenage boy shoot straight through the window, parallel to the pavement. A girl could be heard sobbing loudly, accompanied by the loud yells of a 30-year old woman. The old man looked at the sun, then at the boy, who had landed in a thorny bush. He chuckled, shaking his head. Young people.