Shut up!
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Oookay, now I have to do something about the entire "romance" thing in the genre. It's a *parody* of Yugi and Tea's "romance". No, there is no shonen ai. o.o; ...At all. Now, onto the disclaimer. *Looks in the corner, Ryou's sitting there tied to a chair with tape over his mouth*
Ryou: MMHMMMPH MMMFH MMM!
Ash: Oh, shut up and do the disclaimer.
Ryou: Mmmph?
Ash: *Rips the tape off his mouth*
Ryou: Why are you abusing ME?!
Ash: Because you gave in easily before.
Ryou: *Lip quivers*
Ash: o.o -.- Okay, fine. I'll do it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.
--------------------------------------------------------
Yami slammed the door shut, panting, while Tea banged on it with her fists outside. "Sooooo, how are things with you and Tea?" Yugi asked cheerfully. "The girl," Yami panted, "is on... DRUGS!"
He collapsed on the floor. Yugi leaned over him. "We have to do something about this Yami." Yami shook his head. "Nope. I'm not talking to her. It doesn't work. And next time, she's going to try to rape me. I know it!"
Yugi rolled his eyes. "Okay," he said patiently, "confrontation doesn't work. Now do you know what we do?" "Umm..." "Shove a knife through her head? No. Sending the mafia after her would be a good idea, but, we aren't in a mafia."
Yami sighed and sat up. "Get to the point, Yugi."
Yugi went into the kitchen and got the telephone. "Simple. We call someone to get rid of her for us," Yugi explained, handing the phone to Yami. "But who do we know that would do that?" Yami asked. Yugi grinned.
***
Yugi sat at a desk in a dark office, his face half-covered by shadows. Marik Ishtar sat opposite him, entirely covered by shadow. Ever since the Millenium Rod had been gotten rid of, no one had heard from Marik. They all assumed he had gone to live with his sister, but they didn't know, Marik could never be the perfect, cute little boy he once was.
Yugi took a deep breath. "We have a problem." Marik crossed his arms. "And what do I care about that?" he drawled. "We can pay you." "I'm listening, then."
Yugi looked at his lap. "It's a woman named Tea Gardener," he said without looking up. Marik chuckled softly. "I remember her. Pain in the ass, she was. Had I not been focusing on more important matters at the time, I think I would have gone and shoved a knife in her head."
"Yes, well, that's exactly our feelings." Yugi looked up. "She's stalking my Yami and getting to be a real pain..." "I see," Marik nodded. "So you want me to kill her?" "No, "kill" was never part of the deal. When someone asks you, I just told you to "get rid of her"."
***
"KILL HER?!" Yami lifted Yugi up by the neck. "Kill," Yugi choked, "was never part of the deal. I just told him to uhhh... get rid of her." "Oh, I don't believe this." Yami dropped Yugi, and he landed on the floor hard. Yami ran his hands over his face. "Yugi, what have I taught you about Marik?" Yugi got up and brushed himself off. "Nothing, Dad." Yami gave the "if looks could kill you'd be dead". "Stop it!" Yugi yelled. "God damnit, Yugi, she wasen't doing THAT much damage!" "You'll rethink that once you go to school tomorrow." Yugi crossed his arms.
"Arrrggghhhh," Yami moaned. "I don't care. We've got to stop Marik!"
***
Marik fiddled with the lock on Tea's window, and then opened it. 'I must be losing my touch,' he thought. 'Surely I can find a more creative way to kill someone. Ah well, I'm too busy to waste my creative talents on this broad.'
Marik climbed in her window. There his future victim lie, in bed. He walked silently over to her, taking the knife out of his pocket. He stood over her, raised the knife, ready to strike. But then, the moonlight shining though the other window caught his knife, and he stopped. He lowered the knife and put it back in his pocket. He looked down at Tea, then up at the full moon. He saw his reflection in the window.
"Dear Ra... what has become of me?" It was just like the night he killed his father.
Marik knelt down by Tea's bed. He put his head over her sleeping body and cried silently.
(Down the street)
"Hurry UP, YUGI!" Yami yelled over his shoulder. "I'm going as fast as I can!" Yugi yelled. "Your legs are longer then mine, you know!" Yami ignored him. "I'll stop Marik myself, then. You're the one who got us into this mess in the first place." Yami silently crossed his fingers as he ran up to Tea's house. He began to fiddle with the lock on her door...
---
Tea woke up with the weight of someone on her. She looked down and rubbed the sleep out of her eye. "Marik?" she asked in a whisper, sure she was having another dream. He had tears in his eyes, running down his cheeks. Then Tea caught sight of the knife in his pocket and ghasped. Marik gently put his fingers to her lips. "Shhhh... It's okay, my dear."
He leaned forward and gently put his lips to hers, then stood back and fled out of the open window. Tea stared after him and pinched herself. "Ow!"
Weird. It wasen't a dream. Tea shook her head, pulled the covers up, and went back to sleep.
Just after Tea started dreaming again, Yami stormed up into her room. He saw Tea's chest going up and down and breathed an inward sigh of relief. He saw the open door and walked over to it. The lock was broken. 'He's already been here?' Yami thought. 'No harm done?'
Yami turned around and looked at Tea's room. The moonlight flooded through the other window. It was a full moon, shining on Tea's face, making her appear prettier. She had a small smile on her face as she slept.
Was Yugi playing a joke on him? Whatever this was, Marik hadn't hurt Tea.
He turned around and quietly closed the open window. Silently, he walked out of Tea's room, and looked back at her one last time. He closed the door.
***
--------------------------------------------------------
Oookay, now I have to do something about the entire "romance" thing in the genre. It's a *parody* of Yugi and Tea's "romance". No, there is no shonen ai. o.o; ...At all. Now, onto the disclaimer. *Looks in the corner, Ryou's sitting there tied to a chair with tape over his mouth*
Ryou: MMHMMMPH MMMFH MMM!
Ash: Oh, shut up and do the disclaimer.
Ryou: Mmmph?
Ash: *Rips the tape off his mouth*
Ryou: Why are you abusing ME?!
Ash: Because you gave in easily before.
Ryou: *Lip quivers*
Ash: o.o -.- Okay, fine. I'll do it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.
--------------------------------------------------------
Yami slammed the door shut, panting, while Tea banged on it with her fists outside. "Sooooo, how are things with you and Tea?" Yugi asked cheerfully. "The girl," Yami panted, "is on... DRUGS!"
He collapsed on the floor. Yugi leaned over him. "We have to do something about this Yami." Yami shook his head. "Nope. I'm not talking to her. It doesn't work. And next time, she's going to try to rape me. I know it!"
Yugi rolled his eyes. "Okay," he said patiently, "confrontation doesn't work. Now do you know what we do?" "Umm..." "Shove a knife through her head? No. Sending the mafia after her would be a good idea, but, we aren't in a mafia."
Yami sighed and sat up. "Get to the point, Yugi."
Yugi went into the kitchen and got the telephone. "Simple. We call someone to get rid of her for us," Yugi explained, handing the phone to Yami. "But who do we know that would do that?" Yami asked. Yugi grinned.
***
Yugi sat at a desk in a dark office, his face half-covered by shadows. Marik Ishtar sat opposite him, entirely covered by shadow. Ever since the Millenium Rod had been gotten rid of, no one had heard from Marik. They all assumed he had gone to live with his sister, but they didn't know, Marik could never be the perfect, cute little boy he once was.
Yugi took a deep breath. "We have a problem." Marik crossed his arms. "And what do I care about that?" he drawled. "We can pay you." "I'm listening, then."
Yugi looked at his lap. "It's a woman named Tea Gardener," he said without looking up. Marik chuckled softly. "I remember her. Pain in the ass, she was. Had I not been focusing on more important matters at the time, I think I would have gone and shoved a knife in her head."
"Yes, well, that's exactly our feelings." Yugi looked up. "She's stalking my Yami and getting to be a real pain..." "I see," Marik nodded. "So you want me to kill her?" "No, "kill" was never part of the deal. When someone asks you, I just told you to "get rid of her"."
***
"KILL HER?!" Yami lifted Yugi up by the neck. "Kill," Yugi choked, "was never part of the deal. I just told him to uhhh... get rid of her." "Oh, I don't believe this." Yami dropped Yugi, and he landed on the floor hard. Yami ran his hands over his face. "Yugi, what have I taught you about Marik?" Yugi got up and brushed himself off. "Nothing, Dad." Yami gave the "if looks could kill you'd be dead". "Stop it!" Yugi yelled. "God damnit, Yugi, she wasen't doing THAT much damage!" "You'll rethink that once you go to school tomorrow." Yugi crossed his arms.
"Arrrggghhhh," Yami moaned. "I don't care. We've got to stop Marik!"
***
Marik fiddled with the lock on Tea's window, and then opened it. 'I must be losing my touch,' he thought. 'Surely I can find a more creative way to kill someone. Ah well, I'm too busy to waste my creative talents on this broad.'
Marik climbed in her window. There his future victim lie, in bed. He walked silently over to her, taking the knife out of his pocket. He stood over her, raised the knife, ready to strike. But then, the moonlight shining though the other window caught his knife, and he stopped. He lowered the knife and put it back in his pocket. He looked down at Tea, then up at the full moon. He saw his reflection in the window.
"Dear Ra... what has become of me?" It was just like the night he killed his father.
Marik knelt down by Tea's bed. He put his head over her sleeping body and cried silently.
(Down the street)
"Hurry UP, YUGI!" Yami yelled over his shoulder. "I'm going as fast as I can!" Yugi yelled. "Your legs are longer then mine, you know!" Yami ignored him. "I'll stop Marik myself, then. You're the one who got us into this mess in the first place." Yami silently crossed his fingers as he ran up to Tea's house. He began to fiddle with the lock on her door...
---
Tea woke up with the weight of someone on her. She looked down and rubbed the sleep out of her eye. "Marik?" she asked in a whisper, sure she was having another dream. He had tears in his eyes, running down his cheeks. Then Tea caught sight of the knife in his pocket and ghasped. Marik gently put his fingers to her lips. "Shhhh... It's okay, my dear."
He leaned forward and gently put his lips to hers, then stood back and fled out of the open window. Tea stared after him and pinched herself. "Ow!"
Weird. It wasen't a dream. Tea shook her head, pulled the covers up, and went back to sleep.
Just after Tea started dreaming again, Yami stormed up into her room. He saw Tea's chest going up and down and breathed an inward sigh of relief. He saw the open door and walked over to it. The lock was broken. 'He's already been here?' Yami thought. 'No harm done?'
Yami turned around and looked at Tea's room. The moonlight flooded through the other window. It was a full moon, shining on Tea's face, making her appear prettier. She had a small smile on her face as she slept.
Was Yugi playing a joke on him? Whatever this was, Marik hadn't hurt Tea.
He turned around and quietly closed the open window. Silently, he walked out of Tea's room, and looked back at her one last time. He closed the door.
***