Elessar and Evenstar Tie the Knot

By The Last Evenstar

Chapter Three: The Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties, Part Two

Arwen was beginning to panic. "What are you doing?" she cried. Three of her guests were unwrapping all her wedding presents and tossing them about tipsily.

Antinua, the prying redhead, looked up at the bride, cross-eyed and giggling. "You got wonderful taupe stoneware sent all the way from Moria! And look at this glass decanter – made by the finest halfling glassblowers!"

Arwen sighed. Where are these people coming from? Are they even elves? She surveyed the trio critically. "You're drunk!"

Her pronouncement sent Antinua's blond cousin into a fit of hysterics. "You just noticed?"

All of a sudden, the third elf dropped a glass bowl she had been unwrapping. It shattered loudly. "Oops!"

"All right, girls, that's it!" Arwen attempted to drag them away from the pile of gifts. "I think you need to go lie down!"

In response, she was forced to duck, narrowly being missed by a flying glass swan – a tacky piece if she ever saw one. Deciding to forsake her gifts for the gift of life, she made her way uneasily across the room.

In a corner, her few mortal guests were whispering nervously. They were the Shieldmaidens of Gondor, positioned at Minas Tirith with Eowyn, Theoden's neice. Arwen had been introduced to them earlier that day, and they looked like they hadn't been drinking, so, smiling, she made her way to their table.

"Do you mind if it sit here?"

The squadron of blue-eyed, blond girls all looked nervously at Eowyn. She seemed to hesitate for a moment, then broke into a suspicious smile. "Certainly. Pull up a chair."

Something in Eowyn's tone set off a warning signal in Arwen's head, but she chose to ignore it and sat down. "How are all of you faring?"

Eowyn smiled again, a smile that, for all its effort, looked forced. "Why do you ask?"

Arwen shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just not having very much fun, if you know what I mean. I've never seen elves act so . . . lowbrow before."

One shieldmaiden tittered nervously. "Maybe you should have hired strippers!"

Arwen blushed at the girl's audacity. "Oh, no! Elves are much too modest for that sort of behavior. Besides, it would feel very wrong. I mean, I'm getting married tomorrow!"

"So," Eowyn inquired, "you don't think Aragorn will hire any . . . entertainment?"

Arwen shook her head, glad of one stable presence in her life. "Never! We both agreed that it was a vile form of fun, even at one's bachelor party."

This time Eowyn broke into a true smile, if still a bit sly. "Why don't you go see him, then? He is right next door!"

"Oh, no, I couldn't do that! It's his party!"

"But what if he's as lonely for you as you are for him?" one girl interjected. "You would both like to see each other! After all, he's been gone for a long while, and you barely spent an afternoon together!"

Arwen considered. "Maybe in a little while. I just don't know if that would be proper."

Aragorn groaned. He, Legolas, and the other elves in attendance has been marooned in the corner for what felt like forever. Eomer had, indeed, produced a pack of strippers, an action which shocked and disgusted them.

"What I don't understand," said Legolas, shaking his head, "is why Eomer would do such a thing. He always seemed like a man of high moral rectitude to me!"

Aragorn shrugged. "I have no idea. I did think I knew him better than this!"

Elladen shuddered sadly. "Such horrible women! How low they have sunk!"

His brother agreed. "What a barbaric idea! I hope Father does not blame you, Estel."

Aragorn bit his lip. "Indeed, it may be a bad idea to let them stay any longer."

Legolas screwed up his face. "All these fine, warfaring men, acting like complete buffoons! This must be why elves do not brew ale."

Gandalf came over and sat down beside them. "Indeed. It pains me to see this lowest degradation of the race into which I have put my trust. And the hobbits!"

Across the room, the could hear Pippin lamenting. "Why must all these dancers be women and none of them halflings like us?"

Frodo nodded. "It was inconsiderate of Eomer, indeed."

"Mr. Frodo!" cried Sam, appalled. "Why would you want a female hobbit? You have me!"

Frodo began to cry. "I know I do, Sam!"

Back in the corner, Gandalf sighed. "I think I may have started something with the whole, 'Don't you lose him, Samwise Gamgee!'"

Aragorn groaned and took a long, long drink. He signaled blindly for another.

Arwen's despair increased as she found herself surrounded by eager elf-maidens. Grown tired of destroying her wedding gifts, they had taken to quizzing her about every trivial thing they could think of.

"What do the flowers look like?"

"Where will you live as Gondor's queen?"

"Not here, I hope! So dirty!"

"Quillanthe, what are you talking about? It's a lovely old romantic castle . . . thing."

"Will there be poached salmon at the reception?"

"He won't wear his sword to the alter, will he?"

"Who's your maiden of honor?"

"Who's his best man?

"Who's presiding?"

Antinua cleared her throat dizzily, silencing the rest. "There's one thing I want to know!"

Arwen groaned, her head in her hands. "One question, OK? That's it!"

The maiden shrugged. "That's fine. Earlier, when we discussed your wedding dress . . ." She trailed of, giggling slyly at the other girls. "And you said you weren't telling us something . . ."

Arwen gasped. "No! Oh, no! I'm not telling you that!"

The girls shrieked. "One question, you promised!"

"I did not promise. I take my promises very seriously."

Antinua looked at her sternly. "You did say you would. Just tell us, and we'll leave you alone!"

Arwen sighed, knowing she would regret this. "Yes, all right?" The elves all shrieked. "Just once. When . . ." Her eyes grew misty, remembering. "Before he left with the Fellowship. I was so afraid . . . we were so afraid . . . the we would never see one another again. And then he left, and I haven't seen him again until now."

A Rohirric shieldmaiden smirked. "That take not calling to a whole other level!"

Outside, the door, a sudden noise was heard. A strangled cry, and then a thud. Arwen gasped, and raced to the door. She opened it to find her father, slumped in a dead faint against the doorframe. "Oh, no!"

Several maidens gasped. "Oh, my! I guess he heard!"

Arwen paled. "Oh, no! Quick, someone call a healer!"

Several minutes later, her father resting comfortably but still out cold, Arwen made her way to the party next door. Worried sick about her father, she had to see Aragorn. What if I gave him a heart attack? she chided herself. He is very old, and half mortal!

She burst open the door, hoping Aragorn wouldn't mind the interruption. He's bound to be having as terrible a time as me. "Estel! Come quick –"

She never finished her sentence, for upon gazing into the room she beheld a terrible sight. Everyone paused and turned to see the Elf, her mouth slightly open, look in shock at the scene around her and then turn and shut the door, her eyes brimming with tears.