A/N: My attempt at a spoof of the first Harry Potter film- plz R&R and if you enjoyed it there may be a sequel...
Harry Potter and the philosophers little rock
Scene 1: Privet drive (Fade up on privet drive. Enter Hagrid, from the left, riging a scooter. There is a baby strapped to him. He is making noises like Po of the Telitubbies. He reaches the middle of the screen and stops.)
Hagrid: (Pointing to each house in turn) Eanie meanie miny mo, catch a wizard by its toe. If it curses, let it go, eanie meanie miny (he points to the camera.) mo. (The camera turns to the back of Hagrid and he throws the baby down the path. The camera focuses on a new scar on the babys head. It is shaped like a bolt of lightning. The camera fades out.)
Scene 2: The dursleys house. (Fade up on the Dursleys house. Harry walks to the door and picks up the letters.)
Hary: (Leafing through the letters) Biil, bill, bill, Postcard, strange letter for me from some sort of magic school or something, bill, bill (He walks into the kitchen and puts the letters on the table. He walks back into the hallway and walks to his cupboard. The doorbell rings and the front door falls off its hinges. A large hand reaches in and grabs Harry by the collar. He yanks him out. Fade out.)
Scene 3: In London. (Fade up on London. Hagrid is walking through the town. Harry is striding to stay at the same pace.)
Harry: What's going on? Who are you?
Hagrid: I'm Hagrid. And you'll be hearing my name a lot. Hagrid.
Harry: But why? Why did you kidnap me?
Hagrid: You're a wizard Harry.
Harry: I'm a what?
Hagrid: You're a wizard Harry.
Harry: I'm a what?
Hagrid: You're a Wizard. And if you ask me that once more I'll have to thwallopyou. We only have half an hour of film Harry- We're not made of money!
Harry: I'm a (He spots Hagrids gaze.) Sorry. (Turning to his letter. Hurridely, checking his letter.) Can we get all of this in London?
Hagrid: If you know where to look. (He leads him to a shop and walks inside.)
scene 4: The Durleys house. (Fade up on the Dursleys house. The ploice are round enquiring about the kidnapp.)
Mrs Dursley: He just disappeared! Just like magic! (Mr dursley scowls at her)
Mr. Dursley: There's no such thing as Magic!
Scene 5: Diagon Alley (Fade up on Diagon alley. Harry and Hagrid are walking through.)
Harry: But how will I pay for this? I haven't any money!
Hagrid: Well there's your money! (He points.)
Harry: What? in the middle of the street? (The camera falls to a large bag of coins on the floor.)
Hagrid: Well, see a penny, pick it up. (He picks up the coins.) Thats gonna save five! Now, I need to pop into Gringotts. This way! (He leads Harry into Gringotts.)
Scene 6: Gringotts. (Fade up on Gringotts. Hagrid walks to the counter and produces a letter.)
Hagrid: It's about you know what in vault you know wich.
Goblin: No- please do tell.
Hagrid: (to Harry.) Important plot element this Harry. Please dont pay any attention. (To the goblin.) The philosphers litlle rock in vault 713. (The goblin walks off and re-appears with a parcel which he hands to Hagrid. Exit Hagrid and Harry.)
Scene 7: The train station.
Hagrid: (Handing Harry a ticket.) No, there's your ticket, stick to it, its important. (Harry looks at the ticket.)
Harry: But Hagrid? This can't be right- it says platform 9 and 3/4. There isn't such a thing is there? (he looks around.) Hagrid? Hmm, just like magic!
Mr. Dursley: There's no such thing as Magic!
A/N please R&R and I will update!
Harry Potter and the philosophers little rock
Scene 1: Privet drive (Fade up on privet drive. Enter Hagrid, from the left, riging a scooter. There is a baby strapped to him. He is making noises like Po of the Telitubbies. He reaches the middle of the screen and stops.)
Hagrid: (Pointing to each house in turn) Eanie meanie miny mo, catch a wizard by its toe. If it curses, let it go, eanie meanie miny (he points to the camera.) mo. (The camera turns to the back of Hagrid and he throws the baby down the path. The camera focuses on a new scar on the babys head. It is shaped like a bolt of lightning. The camera fades out.)
Scene 2: The dursleys house. (Fade up on the Dursleys house. Harry walks to the door and picks up the letters.)
Hary: (Leafing through the letters) Biil, bill, bill, Postcard, strange letter for me from some sort of magic school or something, bill, bill (He walks into the kitchen and puts the letters on the table. He walks back into the hallway and walks to his cupboard. The doorbell rings and the front door falls off its hinges. A large hand reaches in and grabs Harry by the collar. He yanks him out. Fade out.)
Scene 3: In London. (Fade up on London. Hagrid is walking through the town. Harry is striding to stay at the same pace.)
Harry: What's going on? Who are you?
Hagrid: I'm Hagrid. And you'll be hearing my name a lot. Hagrid.
Harry: But why? Why did you kidnap me?
Hagrid: You're a wizard Harry.
Harry: I'm a what?
Hagrid: You're a wizard Harry.
Harry: I'm a what?
Hagrid: You're a Wizard. And if you ask me that once more I'll have to thwallopyou. We only have half an hour of film Harry- We're not made of money!
Harry: I'm a (He spots Hagrids gaze.) Sorry. (Turning to his letter. Hurridely, checking his letter.) Can we get all of this in London?
Hagrid: If you know where to look. (He leads him to a shop and walks inside.)
scene 4: The Durleys house. (Fade up on the Dursleys house. The ploice are round enquiring about the kidnapp.)
Mrs Dursley: He just disappeared! Just like magic! (Mr dursley scowls at her)
Mr. Dursley: There's no such thing as Magic!
Scene 5: Diagon Alley (Fade up on Diagon alley. Harry and Hagrid are walking through.)
Harry: But how will I pay for this? I haven't any money!
Hagrid: Well there's your money! (He points.)
Harry: What? in the middle of the street? (The camera falls to a large bag of coins on the floor.)
Hagrid: Well, see a penny, pick it up. (He picks up the coins.) Thats gonna save five! Now, I need to pop into Gringotts. This way! (He leads Harry into Gringotts.)
Scene 6: Gringotts. (Fade up on Gringotts. Hagrid walks to the counter and produces a letter.)
Hagrid: It's about you know what in vault you know wich.
Goblin: No- please do tell.
Hagrid: (to Harry.) Important plot element this Harry. Please dont pay any attention. (To the goblin.) The philosphers litlle rock in vault 713. (The goblin walks off and re-appears with a parcel which he hands to Hagrid. Exit Hagrid and Harry.)
Scene 7: The train station.
Hagrid: (Handing Harry a ticket.) No, there's your ticket, stick to it, its important. (Harry looks at the ticket.)
Harry: But Hagrid? This can't be right- it says platform 9 and 3/4. There isn't such a thing is there? (he looks around.) Hagrid? Hmm, just like magic!
Mr. Dursley: There's no such thing as Magic!
A/N please R&R and I will update!