Chapter 9: A Day in the Park
"Dangit! Not again!"
"Asuka, just try playing it more slowly."
"I can't. This whole arpeggio is messed up. How am I supposed to learn this within a hundred years? I can't even stretch my finger far enough for that last chord."
"Well, I can't either. Don't worry about it. Rei said guitarists with short fingers can cheat by doing a different version of the same chord."
"You mean different finger positioning?"
"Exactly."
Asuka bit her lip. Guitar sure wasn't as easy as she expected it to be. With practically no prior experience in musical instruments, she was finding this task much more difficult than Shinji.
But she couldn't lose. Not to him. Not to a Baka. And there was something deeper. She didn't know if he would respect her if she didn't always turn out on top. All that she represented, all that he had come to know about her, rested on her apparent superiority, her eagerness to prove herself the best. If he found out that she couldn't live up to who she was, or worse, that she was no longer wholeheartedly committed to the dream she had treasured since childhood-he would never respect her as a person. For her to be as outwardly single-minded as she was, and as inwardly capricious as circumstances had made her was a curse she didn't want others to discover. If she couldn't be the best, she couldn't be good enough for him.
He deserves nothing less, she thought.
"Shinji. Can you leave the room? I want to focus with all my attention."
"Okay. Good luck."
"Thanks."
----
Shinji stood in the doorway of his room. Rei was on HIS bed, listening to HIS SDAT. He thought about angrily declaring his personal property rights, but he remembered that Rei and him practically shared the same soul. Sharing music followed naturally. He left the doorway and wandered to Misato's room. Inside, Misato was playing solitaire and humming.
"Ah, come in, my young disciple. Come, sit, and share in my frivolous games."
Shinji sat down next to her.
"So…Shinji, tell me what's on your mind."
"Have you ever thought that maybe we're rushing a little too much?" Shinji asked. "I mean, what's our purpose, really?"
Misato looked at him seriously. "I suppose, making money. Everybody's gotta live, somehow. And we could brighten up people's lives." She waved her hand out at the unnoticing world. "Just look at these city people. Wandering around, so many of them just sad and lonely. We could lift them up. That's what I want to do. I think the next big monster to conquer, after having torched the Angels, is loneliness. If we can tell people that we feel just like them, they might not spend their days feeling so bad."
Shinji considered it for a moment before he said, "I have someone who knows how I feel, and we're always a comfort to each other. But I wish…"
"What?" Misato asked.
"I wish someone else was like that."
"The best thing is to go and tell her."
---
That afternoon…
Rei: I know how you feel.
Shinji: How do you know?
Rei: Because I am you.
Shinji: No….
Rei: Yes.
Shinji: But you are you. We are different.
Rei: No, we are one and the same.
Shinji: Please don't say that. It hurts me.
Rei: Look, I'm gonna have to die soon, so say something comforting to ME.
Shinji: I love you.
Rei: I know. I've gone as far with you as I can. Now I must leave you so you can be lonely for the rest of your days. Please, defeat the machines and restore music to the people.
Shinji: You can't die!!
Rei: Yes I can. Just watch me.
*Dies*
"Wait, wait a minute." Shinji pointed at the paper.
"This script is not dramatic enough. How did the writers find the audacity to cap off a popular trilogy with this material?"
Misato shook her head. "My, my, what a simpleton. Look, it has a dramatic death scene. Just when he needs her most, she leaves him. Isn't that heart-wrenching? She practically screws him over in every possible way, doesn't consider his feelings, and leaves him bereft, and he still has love for her. That kind of love is…divine."
"Wow, Misato. I think I'm going to cry."
"Look, the point is to dramatize your words. When you three-" she pointed at her three young charges-"start writing OUR songs, you'll have to learn which words to use to communicate a certain idea. Songs, just like movies, must be dramatic. They must attempt to manipulate the listener's emotions with enough strength to force a powerful reaction, preferably one of sadness and pain, because that wins Grammies and Oscars. Otherwise, the listener won't remember it. A song is not just words. It is the RIGHT WORDS."
Misato rubbed her calloused fingers together. "You know what, you need inspiration. And to have inspiration, you need interaction. Human interaction. Today, I'm sending you guys to the Park to interact with kids your age. Then, starting next week, all three of you will be attending Tokyo University. You're all dismissed."
For some reason, Misato had hidden every sharp object in the house prior to her speech, because Asuka declared, half an hour later, that none could be found. Disappointed, the children resigned to Misato's will and strolled to the park under fresh summer trees.
Walking ahead of the others was Asuka, strutting proudly and ignorant of the stares from adolescent boys directed towards her. A few paces behind her, Rei walked smoothly, also ignorant of any ogling boys. Shinji, who had the self confidence of a ferret, didn't know that he was also being watched. By girls, as fate would have it.
As soon as they neared the park, Asuka whirled around and shot Shinji a dirty look.
"Now, look, Baka, you're not talking to any of the hot girls. Or the hot boys. I'll take those. Rei can take the ugly boys, and you can talk to the ugly girls and little kids. Any Objections?"
"Well, I-"
"Okay. Let's show these kids who owns this park."
"Damn right," said Rei.
"Wait," Shinji interjected. "This doesn't seem that fair."
"Whadda ya mean?" Asuka's eyes bore down on him.
"Why do you want to talk to the pretty people?"
"Well, it's simple. I know you. If I were Misato, I would never trust you with the pretty girls, because I know they'd all fall at your feet as soon as you said, 'Hi.' Despite being the Baka you are."
Shinji found himself blushing.
"Oh…Really?"
"If I'm wrong, I'll make breakfast and dinner for the next two weeks."
"Wait…so, ugly girls won't do this?"
"Shut up. I'm not done. Listen. I don't want you getting into any controversy that could tarnish our band's name BEFORE we even get big. Being associated with a totally jaded band member, despite having my degree of talent, would destroy my chances of stardom forever. AND I especially wouldn't trust you…with that brunette over there."
She pointed to a girl sitting on the swings by herself.
"She looks especially feisty. You talk to her, and I'll smash your bass. Not the one you play music on, little guy. YOUR Bass."
Shinji shuddered. But not from pleasure.
Asuka turned on her heels and strode away quickly, leaving him to contemplate the consequences of exchanging even a word with that girl. Yet, he felt a strong pull towards her. He stole a quick glance at her. She was undoubtedly lonely on that swing, and she was cute, despite the bangs that covered both her eyes.
And her nose…oh, what a nose. Why then did she leave her hair in front of her face? She didn't have anything to hide, did she? Stupid wind, couldn't it just blow a little, one slight puff, perhaps? It would be so easy to do, but that one puff might bare to Shinji her very soul. Wind, come and reveal her soul to me, he prayed.
He waited.
He waited.
He waited.
He waited.
The weather was all too eager to conspire against him. His legs became itchy. He needed to move somewhere. Couldn't he just…have one good look? Maybe discover what color her eyes were?
He looked around for Asuka. She was over at the top of the hill talking to a older, muscular boy Shinji recognized from the number 4 on his jersey as the local high school's basketball captain. Asuka had her hand to her mouth, and she was laughing feverishly.
Looks like she's occupied, he thought. He didn't need to look for Rei. She wouldn't rat on him. Pressing a button on his thigh, he entered bullet time. Although no bullets were firing at him, he nonetheless moved with the speed of a man on crack in a maximum security prison running from an execution squad. Thrusting off the ground with his trusty two legs, he flew a good distance before wrapping his arms around a metal pillar, using the momentum of his swiveling body to fly fifteen feet forward and into… the bushes behind the cute-looking girl.
The cute-looking girl jumped in her seat, became entangled in the swing, and plopped to the ground. Shinji gasped. Asuka was right, even though he hadn't anticipated that she'd fall at his feet in this manner. But he was worried.
If Asuka knew that this would happen, wouldn't she be able to predict the strength of Shinji's curiosity? He couldn't get caught. It would be too costly. He started to inch backwards.
No, I must go through with it, thought Shinji. I m-must be a man. Even if it costs me my Bass.
And so it was. Shinji slowly approached the girl from behind, and as she propped herself back into the swing, he jerkily grabbed her by the shoulders.
"Um, I-"
She screamed. Shinji turned red and turned around desperately to look for Asuka. He was so frightened that he didn't loosen his hands from the girl's shoulder. Rather, they tightened, causing the girl to scream even louder.
Defense mechanism: 45% initiated.
The girl turned around and snapped her hand towards Shinji's face in a movement that filled the park with a resounding *Slap!*
Shinji's heart skipped a beat. The whole park froze. Asuka, surrounded by a circle of boys, looked up from her conversations and spotted Shinji holding the brunette by the shoulders. Her cheeks turned a bright red, and her eyes contained an anger he had never seen even in her before.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Shinji and the brunette said simultaneously.
"No really-" Shinji began-
"I didn't mean to scream, I'm really jumpy-"
"No, I really didn't mean to scare you-"
Their words rushed out in a stream of apologies, urgent, considerate, but all the while, Asuka approached slowly, inevitably, like the vengeance of an angry God.
She knew that she couldn't beat Shinji in front of all these people, so she grabbed him by the hand and marched him the full two miles back towards home. Rei returned her attention to the fat girl next to her.
"Yeah, eating carrots is really healthy…"
When Misato came home, Asuka was singing in the shower. There was a note on the table.
Shinji had an accident at the park and had to go to the hospital.
Signed, Asuka.
"Dangit! Not again!"
"Asuka, just try playing it more slowly."
"I can't. This whole arpeggio is messed up. How am I supposed to learn this within a hundred years? I can't even stretch my finger far enough for that last chord."
"Well, I can't either. Don't worry about it. Rei said guitarists with short fingers can cheat by doing a different version of the same chord."
"You mean different finger positioning?"
"Exactly."
Asuka bit her lip. Guitar sure wasn't as easy as she expected it to be. With practically no prior experience in musical instruments, she was finding this task much more difficult than Shinji.
But she couldn't lose. Not to him. Not to a Baka. And there was something deeper. She didn't know if he would respect her if she didn't always turn out on top. All that she represented, all that he had come to know about her, rested on her apparent superiority, her eagerness to prove herself the best. If he found out that she couldn't live up to who she was, or worse, that she was no longer wholeheartedly committed to the dream she had treasured since childhood-he would never respect her as a person. For her to be as outwardly single-minded as she was, and as inwardly capricious as circumstances had made her was a curse she didn't want others to discover. If she couldn't be the best, she couldn't be good enough for him.
He deserves nothing less, she thought.
"Shinji. Can you leave the room? I want to focus with all my attention."
"Okay. Good luck."
"Thanks."
----
Shinji stood in the doorway of his room. Rei was on HIS bed, listening to HIS SDAT. He thought about angrily declaring his personal property rights, but he remembered that Rei and him practically shared the same soul. Sharing music followed naturally. He left the doorway and wandered to Misato's room. Inside, Misato was playing solitaire and humming.
"Ah, come in, my young disciple. Come, sit, and share in my frivolous games."
Shinji sat down next to her.
"So…Shinji, tell me what's on your mind."
"Have you ever thought that maybe we're rushing a little too much?" Shinji asked. "I mean, what's our purpose, really?"
Misato looked at him seriously. "I suppose, making money. Everybody's gotta live, somehow. And we could brighten up people's lives." She waved her hand out at the unnoticing world. "Just look at these city people. Wandering around, so many of them just sad and lonely. We could lift them up. That's what I want to do. I think the next big monster to conquer, after having torched the Angels, is loneliness. If we can tell people that we feel just like them, they might not spend their days feeling so bad."
Shinji considered it for a moment before he said, "I have someone who knows how I feel, and we're always a comfort to each other. But I wish…"
"What?" Misato asked.
"I wish someone else was like that."
"The best thing is to go and tell her."
---
That afternoon…
Rei: I know how you feel.
Shinji: How do you know?
Rei: Because I am you.
Shinji: No….
Rei: Yes.
Shinji: But you are you. We are different.
Rei: No, we are one and the same.
Shinji: Please don't say that. It hurts me.
Rei: Look, I'm gonna have to die soon, so say something comforting to ME.
Shinji: I love you.
Rei: I know. I've gone as far with you as I can. Now I must leave you so you can be lonely for the rest of your days. Please, defeat the machines and restore music to the people.
Shinji: You can't die!!
Rei: Yes I can. Just watch me.
*Dies*
"Wait, wait a minute." Shinji pointed at the paper.
"This script is not dramatic enough. How did the writers find the audacity to cap off a popular trilogy with this material?"
Misato shook her head. "My, my, what a simpleton. Look, it has a dramatic death scene. Just when he needs her most, she leaves him. Isn't that heart-wrenching? She practically screws him over in every possible way, doesn't consider his feelings, and leaves him bereft, and he still has love for her. That kind of love is…divine."
"Wow, Misato. I think I'm going to cry."
"Look, the point is to dramatize your words. When you three-" she pointed at her three young charges-"start writing OUR songs, you'll have to learn which words to use to communicate a certain idea. Songs, just like movies, must be dramatic. They must attempt to manipulate the listener's emotions with enough strength to force a powerful reaction, preferably one of sadness and pain, because that wins Grammies and Oscars. Otherwise, the listener won't remember it. A song is not just words. It is the RIGHT WORDS."
Misato rubbed her calloused fingers together. "You know what, you need inspiration. And to have inspiration, you need interaction. Human interaction. Today, I'm sending you guys to the Park to interact with kids your age. Then, starting next week, all three of you will be attending Tokyo University. You're all dismissed."
For some reason, Misato had hidden every sharp object in the house prior to her speech, because Asuka declared, half an hour later, that none could be found. Disappointed, the children resigned to Misato's will and strolled to the park under fresh summer trees.
Walking ahead of the others was Asuka, strutting proudly and ignorant of the stares from adolescent boys directed towards her. A few paces behind her, Rei walked smoothly, also ignorant of any ogling boys. Shinji, who had the self confidence of a ferret, didn't know that he was also being watched. By girls, as fate would have it.
As soon as they neared the park, Asuka whirled around and shot Shinji a dirty look.
"Now, look, Baka, you're not talking to any of the hot girls. Or the hot boys. I'll take those. Rei can take the ugly boys, and you can talk to the ugly girls and little kids. Any Objections?"
"Well, I-"
"Okay. Let's show these kids who owns this park."
"Damn right," said Rei.
"Wait," Shinji interjected. "This doesn't seem that fair."
"Whadda ya mean?" Asuka's eyes bore down on him.
"Why do you want to talk to the pretty people?"
"Well, it's simple. I know you. If I were Misato, I would never trust you with the pretty girls, because I know they'd all fall at your feet as soon as you said, 'Hi.' Despite being the Baka you are."
Shinji found himself blushing.
"Oh…Really?"
"If I'm wrong, I'll make breakfast and dinner for the next two weeks."
"Wait…so, ugly girls won't do this?"
"Shut up. I'm not done. Listen. I don't want you getting into any controversy that could tarnish our band's name BEFORE we even get big. Being associated with a totally jaded band member, despite having my degree of talent, would destroy my chances of stardom forever. AND I especially wouldn't trust you…with that brunette over there."
She pointed to a girl sitting on the swings by herself.
"She looks especially feisty. You talk to her, and I'll smash your bass. Not the one you play music on, little guy. YOUR Bass."
Shinji shuddered. But not from pleasure.
Asuka turned on her heels and strode away quickly, leaving him to contemplate the consequences of exchanging even a word with that girl. Yet, he felt a strong pull towards her. He stole a quick glance at her. She was undoubtedly lonely on that swing, and she was cute, despite the bangs that covered both her eyes.
And her nose…oh, what a nose. Why then did she leave her hair in front of her face? She didn't have anything to hide, did she? Stupid wind, couldn't it just blow a little, one slight puff, perhaps? It would be so easy to do, but that one puff might bare to Shinji her very soul. Wind, come and reveal her soul to me, he prayed.
He waited.
He waited.
He waited.
He waited.
The weather was all too eager to conspire against him. His legs became itchy. He needed to move somewhere. Couldn't he just…have one good look? Maybe discover what color her eyes were?
He looked around for Asuka. She was over at the top of the hill talking to a older, muscular boy Shinji recognized from the number 4 on his jersey as the local high school's basketball captain. Asuka had her hand to her mouth, and she was laughing feverishly.
Looks like she's occupied, he thought. He didn't need to look for Rei. She wouldn't rat on him. Pressing a button on his thigh, he entered bullet time. Although no bullets were firing at him, he nonetheless moved with the speed of a man on crack in a maximum security prison running from an execution squad. Thrusting off the ground with his trusty two legs, he flew a good distance before wrapping his arms around a metal pillar, using the momentum of his swiveling body to fly fifteen feet forward and into… the bushes behind the cute-looking girl.
The cute-looking girl jumped in her seat, became entangled in the swing, and plopped to the ground. Shinji gasped. Asuka was right, even though he hadn't anticipated that she'd fall at his feet in this manner. But he was worried.
If Asuka knew that this would happen, wouldn't she be able to predict the strength of Shinji's curiosity? He couldn't get caught. It would be too costly. He started to inch backwards.
No, I must go through with it, thought Shinji. I m-must be a man. Even if it costs me my Bass.
And so it was. Shinji slowly approached the girl from behind, and as she propped herself back into the swing, he jerkily grabbed her by the shoulders.
"Um, I-"
She screamed. Shinji turned red and turned around desperately to look for Asuka. He was so frightened that he didn't loosen his hands from the girl's shoulder. Rather, they tightened, causing the girl to scream even louder.
Defense mechanism: 45% initiated.
The girl turned around and snapped her hand towards Shinji's face in a movement that filled the park with a resounding *Slap!*
Shinji's heart skipped a beat. The whole park froze. Asuka, surrounded by a circle of boys, looked up from her conversations and spotted Shinji holding the brunette by the shoulders. Her cheeks turned a bright red, and her eyes contained an anger he had never seen even in her before.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Shinji and the brunette said simultaneously.
"No really-" Shinji began-
"I didn't mean to scream, I'm really jumpy-"
"No, I really didn't mean to scare you-"
Their words rushed out in a stream of apologies, urgent, considerate, but all the while, Asuka approached slowly, inevitably, like the vengeance of an angry God.
She knew that she couldn't beat Shinji in front of all these people, so she grabbed him by the hand and marched him the full two miles back towards home. Rei returned her attention to the fat girl next to her.
"Yeah, eating carrots is really healthy…"
When Misato came home, Asuka was singing in the shower. There was a note on the table.
Shinji had an accident at the park and had to go to the hospital.
Signed, Asuka.