Chapter 10: The making of the Eva Music Makers
(Audio background start: Bob Marley and the wailers-Jammin.exe)
Shinji sat up in the hard hospital bed and surveyed his surroundings. He was back in the Nerv room with the grey, unfamiliar ceiling. Only this time, he had a disturbing hunch that this was more than a dream. And more than Asuka. Peering down at him, some with faces relaxed, and some with faces taut with concern, was the entire band of Eva Music Makers corralled into participation by none other than Misato. Clustered closely around him were the faces of Asuka, Rei, Misato, Pen-pen, Ritsuko, Maya, Kensuke, Touji, Hikari, Fuyutsuki, and a tall dark figure hidden in shadow.
Shinji blinked. What was going on? They were all looking at him curiously. Shinji could sense a feeling of dread in their faces.
"Hello, son," said Gendo warmly. And deeply.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Uh…Father?"
"It's so nice to see you, son…after, um, twelve months in a maximum security prison?"
Shinji looked at Misato in horror.
"Don't worry!" Misato intervened quickly. "He's under my supervision. None of you will get hurt."
"I'm out," Gendo said exultingly, raising his hands and dancing little circles.
Shinji looked questioningly at the rest of the band members, his eyes begging for an answer.
Asuka had her back turned, and from his perspective, he could see her lips forming a typical Asuka-pout. Rei was looking at the ground. Her face betrayed a half-suppressed smile, a conscious attempt to mask her conflicted feelings about Gendo's release.
"Listen, it's not like I'm going to do anything bad. Misato actually released me because she wanted to marry me and get real children."
"No I didn't."
(Misato look of death)
"Uh…no she didn't, but from now until the time I commit my next traceable crime, I'll be filling in as the authoritative father figure."
"Authoritative my butt." Misato held a sharpened guitar pick under his chin.
"At least," Gendo added quickly, "as authoritative as a father under the supervision of a military major can get."
"Good Gendo."
-----
The trip home was comfortable. As comfortable as riding in a minivan with 11 band members could get. Shinji ate a little lunch, then asked Misato about school.
"Don't worry, Shinji. Asuka started the first day of school yesterday at Tokyo U, and she says the first day's nothing but a boring explanation of the syllabus."
-----
"Look at my size! It's taken me no time at all to get this big!"
Kensuke was pointing at his pants. Geez, Kensuke is pretty big, Shinji thought.
"Sheez! How are we gonna find anything to fit that?" Misato asked.
"Wait!" Asuka beckoned, her hand appearing over a large pile of Extra-large jeans. "I have something that fits! Try this!"
With that, she flung a large pair of jeans over the pile and into Kensuke's face.
Kensuke, blinded by the jeans, fell back and tripped over Misato's foot.
"Ouch! Can you do it a little slower next time?"
Shinji laughed to himself. It was good to be with his friends again. After two months of intense, isolation training, he could get a breather and discover what it was to be slightly social again.
"Hey! Stop that! Stop your stupid little games!"
Shinji looked up and saw Gendo poking Kensuke while he lay on the floor. Poor Kensuke.
"Whadda you say?"
"No! Never!"
"Well, then…" Gendo poked him with ever-increasing ferocity.
"No! Please! Pick on someone else! Like Asuka! ….Or…Uh…someone else I hate!
"Yes, but she'd sue me for touching her. You, meanwhile, can't do a darn thing about it."
"Please…"
"Bwawawhahah!"
"Why?!!?!? WHY ME??!?!!?" Kensuke wailed. "Help me! Touji!! Shinji!!"
Shinji would have gone to help his friend, but he didn't want to start anything with his Father, so he simply watched. Touji was on the other side of the department with Rei, Hikari, and the other members.
Wrenching himself free for half a second, Kensuke took advantage of his freedom to pull a sandal off his left foot. Clutching it in his right hand, he rammed it repeatedly into Gendo's head.
"OWWW! Not my head!!"
"MUAHAHAA! Who's taking the hits now?"
"Oh yea?!? Eva 01! Launch!"
"Eva is dead," Misato remarked.
"Oh yea." Gendo let go of Kensuke and went to the corner to nurse his own wounds.
"That's right. Don't mess with Super-ken," Kensuke said to no one in particular.
Impatient, Asuka called from the corner, where she was searching for more pants that suited Kensuke's size.
"Hey! You guys done yet? You wanna try on the new pants, Ken?"
"Yes!" Kensuke called back. "I'm ready to take off my pants."
----
Asuka and Shinji stood before a man clothed entirely in white.
"Post traumatic stress syndrome can sometimes result in blindness, stemming from the visual reception of an extremely disturbing image," said the Doctor.
"It was some thirty-odd years ago, but now you're just starting to feel the real effects. Have some eye-drops."
----
"No! Not here!" Asuka wailed.
Misato only saved Shinji from complete insanity by bowling him over before the belt came loose.
-----
"Look at this!" Hikari pointed at a skimpy-looking yellow dress in the petite women's section. "It's so cute!" She took it and held it in front of herself, trying to look herself over by bending her chin way down. "Iff wooks vewy Asuka-ish," she concluded.
"Indeed," remarked Touji. "That's a very good reason not to get it."
Hikari looked offended.
"Who says dressing like your best friend isn't cute? I can't see her as my twin, but at least we can wear the same thing. Besides, yellow is my favorite color."
Touji stuck out his tongue in repugnance. "I hate yellow. You're becoming just like her, Hikari. We don't need TWO red devils in one band."
"Shut up," Hikari shot back. "I don't need any fashion comments from a jock."
"After you transform, don't tell me I didn't warn you," Touji said under his breath.
Meanwhile, Rei was bent over a case of jewelry, examining a 45,000,000 yen diamond necklace. But it was not the price tag that interested her. The diamond itself was mesmerizing…intriguing. She continued eyeing it. It sparkled. And sparkled.
…
……
"What do you want?"
Rei looked around her. No one had spoken. Then she peered down at the diamond. Could it be?
"Oh, Diamond, Diamond in this stall, who's the prettiest Rei of all?"
"Hmmm. That's a tough question. Gimme a minute."
"Hurry up, fool!"
"Well, you are. You're the only one left alive."
"Oh. Thanks for the 411."
"No problem. Talk to me anytime."
In the opposite booth, Ritsuko was trying on perfume.
"So, beautician, what if I have a part with this truly influential band, and they expect me to play an experiment I've never tried before? What? Oh…her name is Misato. Yes, she's a real genius. Goes by the name of Mi-mi. No, no, I can't get you her signature. Why? She's on the other side of this store. Wait-don't go yet!"
Dangit! All the attention went to Misato. And why'd she get stuck with the cello? What was a cello? And why did she have to play it sitting down? Stupid Misato…
"Tada! I am superwoman!" said Maya. She was holding a T-shirt with a diamond S on it. "If our touring van gets stuck in a ditch, I'll pull it out."
Ritsuko sprayed a puff of perfume in Maya's face.
"Don't bother me. I'm contemplating."
Choking on the potent fumes, Maya ran to the bathroom and collided with the door.
"Weerk weerk!"
Translation: "What was that for?"
"Oh, Pen-pen, I just don't want to be bothered when I'm frustrated. Or when I'm eating. You, of all species, should know that. I'm just like my mother. Mad scientist, future mad mother, and, of course, mad woman only about once a month. Maya was in the wrong place at the wrong time."
-----
Misato threw down her wallet. Everyone fell silent.
"Okay! We've finally assembled the entire band, and this is our first formal meeting! No poking! No harassing! This band is led by Rei, and she will explain the rest of the details. My beer craving's coming back."
Misato walked up the stairs.
Rei came to the front and bowed to the band.
"Now, I'd like to personally congratulate each and every one of you for your willingness to serve someone as unreliable as Misato. Though the road may be harsh, endure it for the idea of the ideal band. For, as you've probably already heard, we are on the verge of a new musical era. Musicians are very tired of the same old music styles. It is time for NEW CENTURY MUSIC! And we will be the harbingers of that age! We, as the 'Eva Music Makers,' will combine every musical style known on earth to create BLEND music! Not only will this type of music have a style unlike any ever created before, it will tell a rough story. Our first story will be about the traditional fantasy of growing up with a destined mate. Now, each of our albums will be special. Our first album will be a live recording of a one-day jam session. That is, we leave the recorder on for one day and record anything and everything we can think of. That is Misato's idea. It saves time in the recording studio. We'll only need to rent out one day. I do not think it unappealing. But in order to coordinate ourselves musically, we need to know each other. We must practice here everyday, and do everything together. Sleep together, (Shinji winced at the connotation) brush together, sing music together, cook together, talk together, and we ALL must shower in exactly five minutes. Anyone who showers longer or shorter on a given night will be expected to take out the garbage and rake the lawn the next day, not to mention waking up early to test the sound system, and going to the store to buy music items and sheet music. Other requirements will be asked of you, but I will reveal these to you later. Now, ALL of you have been offered scholarships at Tokyo U, courtesy of Misato's influence in underground operations. I encourage all of you to study hard there, because Misato will kick you out of the band if your scores aren't up to par. You will attend school starting tomorrow. Good luck, and please be nice to each other. That is all."
After everyone made their protests known to Misato, there was a big communal dinner. Misato drank more than everyone combined. Gendo tried to tickle all the males. Misato threw beer at his face. Asuka slapped Shinji. Touji and Asuka got in a yelling contest. Rei served Korean Bar-b-q, but most of it ended up on the floor, where Pen-pen found himself growing a stomach of unbelievable proportions. Kensuke pretended the guitars were space ships, and many of them crashed. Misato threw beer at him, too.
Afterwards, they all brushed around the swimming pool. Pen-pen took a little swim and sprayed them all. Shinji got slapped again for accidentally walking in on Asuka after her shower. Shinji, Touji, Kensuke, Fuyutsuki, and Pen-pen voted to move Gendo to the attic for the night. Then again, they were sleeping next to Asuka.
Perhaps she'll get revenge on me for being walked in on, Shinji thought.
Sleeping wasn't easy that night.
(End Audio background: Bob Marley-Jammin.exe)
(Audio background start: Bob Marley and the wailers-Jammin.exe)
Shinji sat up in the hard hospital bed and surveyed his surroundings. He was back in the Nerv room with the grey, unfamiliar ceiling. Only this time, he had a disturbing hunch that this was more than a dream. And more than Asuka. Peering down at him, some with faces relaxed, and some with faces taut with concern, was the entire band of Eva Music Makers corralled into participation by none other than Misato. Clustered closely around him were the faces of Asuka, Rei, Misato, Pen-pen, Ritsuko, Maya, Kensuke, Touji, Hikari, Fuyutsuki, and a tall dark figure hidden in shadow.
Shinji blinked. What was going on? They were all looking at him curiously. Shinji could sense a feeling of dread in their faces.
"Hello, son," said Gendo warmly. And deeply.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Uh…Father?"
"It's so nice to see you, son…after, um, twelve months in a maximum security prison?"
Shinji looked at Misato in horror.
"Don't worry!" Misato intervened quickly. "He's under my supervision. None of you will get hurt."
"I'm out," Gendo said exultingly, raising his hands and dancing little circles.
Shinji looked questioningly at the rest of the band members, his eyes begging for an answer.
Asuka had her back turned, and from his perspective, he could see her lips forming a typical Asuka-pout. Rei was looking at the ground. Her face betrayed a half-suppressed smile, a conscious attempt to mask her conflicted feelings about Gendo's release.
"Listen, it's not like I'm going to do anything bad. Misato actually released me because she wanted to marry me and get real children."
"No I didn't."
(Misato look of death)
"Uh…no she didn't, but from now until the time I commit my next traceable crime, I'll be filling in as the authoritative father figure."
"Authoritative my butt." Misato held a sharpened guitar pick under his chin.
"At least," Gendo added quickly, "as authoritative as a father under the supervision of a military major can get."
"Good Gendo."
-----
The trip home was comfortable. As comfortable as riding in a minivan with 11 band members could get. Shinji ate a little lunch, then asked Misato about school.
"Don't worry, Shinji. Asuka started the first day of school yesterday at Tokyo U, and she says the first day's nothing but a boring explanation of the syllabus."
-----
"Look at my size! It's taken me no time at all to get this big!"
Kensuke was pointing at his pants. Geez, Kensuke is pretty big, Shinji thought.
"Sheez! How are we gonna find anything to fit that?" Misato asked.
"Wait!" Asuka beckoned, her hand appearing over a large pile of Extra-large jeans. "I have something that fits! Try this!"
With that, she flung a large pair of jeans over the pile and into Kensuke's face.
Kensuke, blinded by the jeans, fell back and tripped over Misato's foot.
"Ouch! Can you do it a little slower next time?"
Shinji laughed to himself. It was good to be with his friends again. After two months of intense, isolation training, he could get a breather and discover what it was to be slightly social again.
"Hey! Stop that! Stop your stupid little games!"
Shinji looked up and saw Gendo poking Kensuke while he lay on the floor. Poor Kensuke.
"Whadda you say?"
"No! Never!"
"Well, then…" Gendo poked him with ever-increasing ferocity.
"No! Please! Pick on someone else! Like Asuka! ….Or…Uh…someone else I hate!
"Yes, but she'd sue me for touching her. You, meanwhile, can't do a darn thing about it."
"Please…"
"Bwawawhahah!"
"Why?!!?!? WHY ME??!?!!?" Kensuke wailed. "Help me! Touji!! Shinji!!"
Shinji would have gone to help his friend, but he didn't want to start anything with his Father, so he simply watched. Touji was on the other side of the department with Rei, Hikari, and the other members.
Wrenching himself free for half a second, Kensuke took advantage of his freedom to pull a sandal off his left foot. Clutching it in his right hand, he rammed it repeatedly into Gendo's head.
"OWWW! Not my head!!"
"MUAHAHAA! Who's taking the hits now?"
"Oh yea?!? Eva 01! Launch!"
"Eva is dead," Misato remarked.
"Oh yea." Gendo let go of Kensuke and went to the corner to nurse his own wounds.
"That's right. Don't mess with Super-ken," Kensuke said to no one in particular.
Impatient, Asuka called from the corner, where she was searching for more pants that suited Kensuke's size.
"Hey! You guys done yet? You wanna try on the new pants, Ken?"
"Yes!" Kensuke called back. "I'm ready to take off my pants."
----
Asuka and Shinji stood before a man clothed entirely in white.
"Post traumatic stress syndrome can sometimes result in blindness, stemming from the visual reception of an extremely disturbing image," said the Doctor.
"It was some thirty-odd years ago, but now you're just starting to feel the real effects. Have some eye-drops."
----
"No! Not here!" Asuka wailed.
Misato only saved Shinji from complete insanity by bowling him over before the belt came loose.
-----
"Look at this!" Hikari pointed at a skimpy-looking yellow dress in the petite women's section. "It's so cute!" She took it and held it in front of herself, trying to look herself over by bending her chin way down. "Iff wooks vewy Asuka-ish," she concluded.
"Indeed," remarked Touji. "That's a very good reason not to get it."
Hikari looked offended.
"Who says dressing like your best friend isn't cute? I can't see her as my twin, but at least we can wear the same thing. Besides, yellow is my favorite color."
Touji stuck out his tongue in repugnance. "I hate yellow. You're becoming just like her, Hikari. We don't need TWO red devils in one band."
"Shut up," Hikari shot back. "I don't need any fashion comments from a jock."
"After you transform, don't tell me I didn't warn you," Touji said under his breath.
Meanwhile, Rei was bent over a case of jewelry, examining a 45,000,000 yen diamond necklace. But it was not the price tag that interested her. The diamond itself was mesmerizing…intriguing. She continued eyeing it. It sparkled. And sparkled.
…
……
"What do you want?"
Rei looked around her. No one had spoken. Then she peered down at the diamond. Could it be?
"Oh, Diamond, Diamond in this stall, who's the prettiest Rei of all?"
"Hmmm. That's a tough question. Gimme a minute."
"Hurry up, fool!"
"Well, you are. You're the only one left alive."
"Oh. Thanks for the 411."
"No problem. Talk to me anytime."
In the opposite booth, Ritsuko was trying on perfume.
"So, beautician, what if I have a part with this truly influential band, and they expect me to play an experiment I've never tried before? What? Oh…her name is Misato. Yes, she's a real genius. Goes by the name of Mi-mi. No, no, I can't get you her signature. Why? She's on the other side of this store. Wait-don't go yet!"
Dangit! All the attention went to Misato. And why'd she get stuck with the cello? What was a cello? And why did she have to play it sitting down? Stupid Misato…
"Tada! I am superwoman!" said Maya. She was holding a T-shirt with a diamond S on it. "If our touring van gets stuck in a ditch, I'll pull it out."
Ritsuko sprayed a puff of perfume in Maya's face.
"Don't bother me. I'm contemplating."
Choking on the potent fumes, Maya ran to the bathroom and collided with the door.
"Weerk weerk!"
Translation: "What was that for?"
"Oh, Pen-pen, I just don't want to be bothered when I'm frustrated. Or when I'm eating. You, of all species, should know that. I'm just like my mother. Mad scientist, future mad mother, and, of course, mad woman only about once a month. Maya was in the wrong place at the wrong time."
-----
Misato threw down her wallet. Everyone fell silent.
"Okay! We've finally assembled the entire band, and this is our first formal meeting! No poking! No harassing! This band is led by Rei, and she will explain the rest of the details. My beer craving's coming back."
Misato walked up the stairs.
Rei came to the front and bowed to the band.
"Now, I'd like to personally congratulate each and every one of you for your willingness to serve someone as unreliable as Misato. Though the road may be harsh, endure it for the idea of the ideal band. For, as you've probably already heard, we are on the verge of a new musical era. Musicians are very tired of the same old music styles. It is time for NEW CENTURY MUSIC! And we will be the harbingers of that age! We, as the 'Eva Music Makers,' will combine every musical style known on earth to create BLEND music! Not only will this type of music have a style unlike any ever created before, it will tell a rough story. Our first story will be about the traditional fantasy of growing up with a destined mate. Now, each of our albums will be special. Our first album will be a live recording of a one-day jam session. That is, we leave the recorder on for one day and record anything and everything we can think of. That is Misato's idea. It saves time in the recording studio. We'll only need to rent out one day. I do not think it unappealing. But in order to coordinate ourselves musically, we need to know each other. We must practice here everyday, and do everything together. Sleep together, (Shinji winced at the connotation) brush together, sing music together, cook together, talk together, and we ALL must shower in exactly five minutes. Anyone who showers longer or shorter on a given night will be expected to take out the garbage and rake the lawn the next day, not to mention waking up early to test the sound system, and going to the store to buy music items and sheet music. Other requirements will be asked of you, but I will reveal these to you later. Now, ALL of you have been offered scholarships at Tokyo U, courtesy of Misato's influence in underground operations. I encourage all of you to study hard there, because Misato will kick you out of the band if your scores aren't up to par. You will attend school starting tomorrow. Good luck, and please be nice to each other. That is all."
After everyone made their protests known to Misato, there was a big communal dinner. Misato drank more than everyone combined. Gendo tried to tickle all the males. Misato threw beer at his face. Asuka slapped Shinji. Touji and Asuka got in a yelling contest. Rei served Korean Bar-b-q, but most of it ended up on the floor, where Pen-pen found himself growing a stomach of unbelievable proportions. Kensuke pretended the guitars were space ships, and many of them crashed. Misato threw beer at him, too.
Afterwards, they all brushed around the swimming pool. Pen-pen took a little swim and sprayed them all. Shinji got slapped again for accidentally walking in on Asuka after her shower. Shinji, Touji, Kensuke, Fuyutsuki, and Pen-pen voted to move Gendo to the attic for the night. Then again, they were sleeping next to Asuka.
Perhaps she'll get revenge on me for being walked in on, Shinji thought.
Sleeping wasn't easy that night.
(End Audio background: Bob Marley-Jammin.exe)