Session 04: Chibiusa Tsukino
NOTE: The following session might not be as funny as the past (or future) ones. But I hope you enjoy it. I'll be making shit at the top of my head.
* Chibiusa is in the surgery bed. She's thinking about the boy she screwed the other day.
Chibiusa: Boy, that sure was one CRAZY fifth period. And even though my large intestine is crushed, my spirit and my craving for cock will never perish!
* The doctor knocks on the door.
Doctor: Hello Chibiusa. How are you doing?
Chibiusa: I've been better.
Doctor: Now, I know this may be traumatizing for you, but if it'll make you feel better, I'll be happy to fix you up.
Chibiusa: In what way?
Doctor: With a plastic surgery of course. And since you are under the are of eighteen, I'll make it on the house.
Chibiusa: Really?
Doctor: Sure. So, what do you want fixed?
Chibiusa: Well, at the moment, I'd like a new large intestine, so that I may have three-way again.
Doctor: Anything you wish. I'll just go pick one up. There's a 90 year- old man on his deathbed, with only 99.9% chance of surviving the cancer.
Chibiusa: Oh thank you doctor!
* Back at Usagi's house.
Rei: Usagi what the hell were you thinking?
Usagi: You know damn well that I NEVER think before my actions.
Rei: It shows.
Makoto: Hey, let's no argue, but instead, lighten up our spirits by admiring my giant, juicy ass.
Ami: Are you still on that?
Makoto: You bet!
Minako: Makoto, I thought I was very clear when I said, no one cares about you.
Makoto: You never said that.
Minako: Well sure I did.
Makoto: Not to me.
Minako: Then who?
* There's a depressed mother on the roof of a skyscraper, and she's holding her two, 1 year-old babies.
Woman: That strange blonde-haired girl was right. No one does care about me. (Starts wailing.
* The woman jumps off the building with her two babies. She falls on top of a car, and splatters all over the cement. A man walks by.
Man: Damn! I guess Jenny Jones is back on for another season.
* Back at Usagi's house.
Ami: Guys, maybe we should go back to studying for our high-school entrance exams.
Usagi: Entrance exams? What the fuck is you talking about? We took that shit five years ago, and now we're in college.
Ami: Oh that's right. I guess I just got used to saying it in the third season that it just stuck with me.
Makoto: So let's get it unstuck and admire my ass.
Minako: Makoto, for the last time.
Makoto: Oh shut up Minako. You're just jealous.
Minako: (Starts crying) You don't have to rub it in! (Runs off)
Usagi: Poor Minako. So who's up for a trip to the theater?
Rei: What's playing?
Usagi: "The Vagina That Sucked Everything", I heard it's a classic horror/porn-flick.
Rei: I'm in a mood for action.
Usagi: Then we should go see "007 in: The Whore That Never Spat."
Makoto: I second that!
Ami: I'm up for it.
Usagi: Then it's settled. We leave in the morning.
Rei: I thought we're gonna watch it today?
Usagi: Yeah, that's what I said.
Rei: No you said.
Makoto: Let's not start another argument. We'll watch it today, and in the process, admire my ass.
Rei: I swear, one more time I hear ass, I'll pop a cork in it.
Makoto: Be cruel! But you know what? One day, there will be a huge black hole on this planet, and my ass will be the only thing powerful enough to stop it. But due to the fact that you guys don't listen to me, and admire my ass, it won't be there to save YOUR asses!
Ami: I'm sorry, but. what the FUCK did you say?
Makoto: I don't repeat myself, unless I'm in bed with a hot man. Then I'll do it as many times he wants me to.
Rei: Let's just go to the movie!
* The gang walks off to the movies. Back at the hospital.
Chibiusa: Are you sure I can have a three-way now?
Doctor: Positive.
Chibiusa: Well, thank you.
* Chibiusa goes to Usagi's house. She reads a note that says they've gone to the movies.
Chibiusa: Aw shit! Why didn't they wait? Oh, well.
* Chibiusa walks into Usagi's house.
* At Michiru and Haruka's house...
Michiru: So Haruka. Have you figured out what I'm gonna do in the next chapter?
Haruka: No. And frankly, I'm scared.
Michiru: Good. Cuz we gon have "fun".
* Haruka gulps in tension.
To be continued.(maybe)
NOTE: The following session might not be as funny as the past (or future) ones. But I hope you enjoy it. I'll be making shit at the top of my head.
* Chibiusa is in the surgery bed. She's thinking about the boy she screwed the other day.
Chibiusa: Boy, that sure was one CRAZY fifth period. And even though my large intestine is crushed, my spirit and my craving for cock will never perish!
* The doctor knocks on the door.
Doctor: Hello Chibiusa. How are you doing?
Chibiusa: I've been better.
Doctor: Now, I know this may be traumatizing for you, but if it'll make you feel better, I'll be happy to fix you up.
Chibiusa: In what way?
Doctor: With a plastic surgery of course. And since you are under the are of eighteen, I'll make it on the house.
Chibiusa: Really?
Doctor: Sure. So, what do you want fixed?
Chibiusa: Well, at the moment, I'd like a new large intestine, so that I may have three-way again.
Doctor: Anything you wish. I'll just go pick one up. There's a 90 year- old man on his deathbed, with only 99.9% chance of surviving the cancer.
Chibiusa: Oh thank you doctor!
* Back at Usagi's house.
Rei: Usagi what the hell were you thinking?
Usagi: You know damn well that I NEVER think before my actions.
Rei: It shows.
Makoto: Hey, let's no argue, but instead, lighten up our spirits by admiring my giant, juicy ass.
Ami: Are you still on that?
Makoto: You bet!
Minako: Makoto, I thought I was very clear when I said, no one cares about you.
Makoto: You never said that.
Minako: Well sure I did.
Makoto: Not to me.
Minako: Then who?
* There's a depressed mother on the roof of a skyscraper, and she's holding her two, 1 year-old babies.
Woman: That strange blonde-haired girl was right. No one does care about me. (Starts wailing.
* The woman jumps off the building with her two babies. She falls on top of a car, and splatters all over the cement. A man walks by.
Man: Damn! I guess Jenny Jones is back on for another season.
* Back at Usagi's house.
Ami: Guys, maybe we should go back to studying for our high-school entrance exams.
Usagi: Entrance exams? What the fuck is you talking about? We took that shit five years ago, and now we're in college.
Ami: Oh that's right. I guess I just got used to saying it in the third season that it just stuck with me.
Makoto: So let's get it unstuck and admire my ass.
Minako: Makoto, for the last time.
Makoto: Oh shut up Minako. You're just jealous.
Minako: (Starts crying) You don't have to rub it in! (Runs off)
Usagi: Poor Minako. So who's up for a trip to the theater?
Rei: What's playing?
Usagi: "The Vagina That Sucked Everything", I heard it's a classic horror/porn-flick.
Rei: I'm in a mood for action.
Usagi: Then we should go see "007 in: The Whore That Never Spat."
Makoto: I second that!
Ami: I'm up for it.
Usagi: Then it's settled. We leave in the morning.
Rei: I thought we're gonna watch it today?
Usagi: Yeah, that's what I said.
Rei: No you said.
Makoto: Let's not start another argument. We'll watch it today, and in the process, admire my ass.
Rei: I swear, one more time I hear ass, I'll pop a cork in it.
Makoto: Be cruel! But you know what? One day, there will be a huge black hole on this planet, and my ass will be the only thing powerful enough to stop it. But due to the fact that you guys don't listen to me, and admire my ass, it won't be there to save YOUR asses!
Ami: I'm sorry, but. what the FUCK did you say?
Makoto: I don't repeat myself, unless I'm in bed with a hot man. Then I'll do it as many times he wants me to.
Rei: Let's just go to the movie!
* The gang walks off to the movies. Back at the hospital.
Chibiusa: Are you sure I can have a three-way now?
Doctor: Positive.
Chibiusa: Well, thank you.
* Chibiusa goes to Usagi's house. She reads a note that says they've gone to the movies.
Chibiusa: Aw shit! Why didn't they wait? Oh, well.
* Chibiusa walks into Usagi's house.
* At Michiru and Haruka's house...
Michiru: So Haruka. Have you figured out what I'm gonna do in the next chapter?
Haruka: No. And frankly, I'm scared.
Michiru: Good. Cuz we gon have "fun".
* Haruka gulps in tension.
To be continued.(maybe)