Session 07: Minako Aino
A NOTE: I understand that some of my readers appreciate good humor, and not sick, porno crap. So I'll try to make Sessions 7-10 just pure comedy with a pinch of perverted ness... and a lot of sick crap. Enjoy the last couple of chapters!
* Minako is in her bedroom reading Teen Magazine.
Minako: You know Artemis; I've been meaning to get highlights.
Artemis: But you're blonde.
Minako: Just because I'm blonde, doesn't make me any less capable of highlighting my hair!
Artemis: I don't mean it like that I just-
* Minako grabs Artemis.
Minako: You're a hater!
* She chugs him out the window.
Artemis: Ahh!
Minako: Maybe that'll teach you!
* A next-door neighbor saw what Minako did.
Mrs. Neighbor: Honey, I just saw that next-door blonde girl throw her cat out the window.
Mr. Neighbor: Now, now, you were probably imagining it.
Mrs. Neighbor: I was not! She threw him at me.
Mr. Neighbor: Well, just ignore it. She's a blonde and we have to respect her religion.
* Minako arrives at Rei's temple where the girls are talking.
Makoto: So I propose that we create a 5-minute break at these gatherings and stare at my a-
Rei: I swear if you finish that, I will rape you, slice your throat open, and make it look like suicide.
Minako: Hey guys! I have great news! I've decided to get highlights.
* Usagi, Ami, Rei, and Makoto stare at Minako with blank faces.
Ami: Um, Minako. You do understand that you are blonde. Right?
Minako: How dare you! I'd expect Rei to say something that cruel, but you Ami? No, you weren't that way!
Makoto: (To Usagi) Why is she acting like a soap-star?
Usagi: Beats me. Minako, what they mean is that it wouldn't show up on your hair.
Minako: You're just jealous!
* Minako runs away wailing.
Rei: That girl got issue! You feel me?
Makoto: What?
Rei: I say, you feel me? Gurl?
Makoto: Um... Sure.
* Minako runs into Haruka's apartment and sees Haruka on top of Michiru.
Minako: Hey Haruka! I'm sorry to just barge in while you're intimate with Michiru, but I need reassurance.
Haruka: What kind of reassurance?
Minako: No one thinks I can get highlights because I'm blonde.
Haruka: You can't.
Minako: You too! Why?
Haruka: Because-
Minako: Spare me your lec... lec... stuff! I will get one, you just wait! And by the way, I think Michiru's not satisfied! It looks like she's dead from boredom.
* Minako runs out of the apartment, and goes to Hotaru's house.
Minako: Hey Hotaru!
Hotaru: What the hell are you doing here?
Minako: I need your advice.
Hotaru: Shoot.
Minako: I want to get highlights, but no one thinks-
Hotaru: Let me stop you there. You CAN'T get highlights, because your hair is too light. No one would notice. However, knowing you, all I said was mumbling in your head, so you go get your highlights. I recommend you visit the doctor that gave the other girls surgeries.
Minako: Thank you for understanding!
* Minako runs out of the apartment. She arrives at the surgery hospital.
Minako: Hello, Mr. Doctor?
Doctor: Hello. How may I help you?
Minako: Yes, I'm looking to get highlights.
Doctor: All right, right this way.
Minako: You mean you're not going to tell me how I can't get them because I'm blonde.
Doctor: No, because I'm a doctor. I don't care about your retarded decisions; I just want your money.
Minako: Oh, okay!
* The doctor begins with the highlights. After three hours he's done.
Doctor: What do you think?
Minako: I love it! It looks staggering! Did I just say staggering?
Doctor: Yes. You might be experiencing that you're smart now. See, I accidentally burned your brain with the acids I used for the highlights. So I simply took a brain I had in storage, and replaced them.
Minako: Why are you keeping brains in-
Doctor: No more questions. You're highlights are free since I replaced your brain.
Minako: Splendid.
* Minako goes back to Rei's temple.
Minako: ?ao ladies!
Ami: Are you okay?
Minako: I'm simply exquisite! How are you?
Ami: Fine, I guess. You don't sound okay.
* The Senshis' beepers go off.
Usagi: It's an enemy! It's at a festival.
* The girls arrive at the festival.
Usagi: hey you! Stop right there!
Monster 2: Huh? Who're you?
Usagi: I'm glad you asked. I'm the champion-
Minako: We don't have time for talking, just shoot him.
Usagi: Nut my powers a nemocracy. They heal.
Minako: Fine! Crescent Beam!
* Minako rips the monster's arms off.
Monster 2: Ow! You bitch!
* The monster shoots an electrical ball at Minako. She jumps out of the way, and the ball hits Makoto, decapitating her.
Usagi: Oh my god!
Ami: Gross!
Rei: Makoto!
Minako: You have to do better than that!
Monster 2: Fine!
* He shoots at her again while she's in the air. She grabs a metal pan, and the electricity shoots back at the monster.
Usagi: Minako! When did you get so smart?
Minako: This morning. The doctor got me a better brain.
Ami: Minako, look out!
* A supporting beam breaks off of the festival stage and hits Minako over the head.
Rei: Are you okay Minako?
Minako: (Waking up) Huh?
Ami: She looks okay.
Minako: Why's everyone staring at me?
Usagi: You're alive!
Minako: Why wouldn't I be?
Usagi: Because a supporting beam hit you over the head.
Minako: It did? Ow!
Ami: As long as you're all right.
* The four senshi walk away. Makoto's decapitated body lies dead at the festival. No one seems to notice it.
Continued later. (maybe)
A NOTE: I understand that some of my readers appreciate good humor, and not sick, porno crap. So I'll try to make Sessions 7-10 just pure comedy with a pinch of perverted ness... and a lot of sick crap. Enjoy the last couple of chapters!
* Minako is in her bedroom reading Teen Magazine.
Minako: You know Artemis; I've been meaning to get highlights.
Artemis: But you're blonde.
Minako: Just because I'm blonde, doesn't make me any less capable of highlighting my hair!
Artemis: I don't mean it like that I just-
* Minako grabs Artemis.
Minako: You're a hater!
* She chugs him out the window.
Artemis: Ahh!
Minako: Maybe that'll teach you!
* A next-door neighbor saw what Minako did.
Mrs. Neighbor: Honey, I just saw that next-door blonde girl throw her cat out the window.
Mr. Neighbor: Now, now, you were probably imagining it.
Mrs. Neighbor: I was not! She threw him at me.
Mr. Neighbor: Well, just ignore it. She's a blonde and we have to respect her religion.
* Minako arrives at Rei's temple where the girls are talking.
Makoto: So I propose that we create a 5-minute break at these gatherings and stare at my a-
Rei: I swear if you finish that, I will rape you, slice your throat open, and make it look like suicide.
Minako: Hey guys! I have great news! I've decided to get highlights.
* Usagi, Ami, Rei, and Makoto stare at Minako with blank faces.
Ami: Um, Minako. You do understand that you are blonde. Right?
Minako: How dare you! I'd expect Rei to say something that cruel, but you Ami? No, you weren't that way!
Makoto: (To Usagi) Why is she acting like a soap-star?
Usagi: Beats me. Minako, what they mean is that it wouldn't show up on your hair.
Minako: You're just jealous!
* Minako runs away wailing.
Rei: That girl got issue! You feel me?
Makoto: What?
Rei: I say, you feel me? Gurl?
Makoto: Um... Sure.
* Minako runs into Haruka's apartment and sees Haruka on top of Michiru.
Minako: Hey Haruka! I'm sorry to just barge in while you're intimate with Michiru, but I need reassurance.
Haruka: What kind of reassurance?
Minako: No one thinks I can get highlights because I'm blonde.
Haruka: You can't.
Minako: You too! Why?
Haruka: Because-
Minako: Spare me your lec... lec... stuff! I will get one, you just wait! And by the way, I think Michiru's not satisfied! It looks like she's dead from boredom.
* Minako runs out of the apartment, and goes to Hotaru's house.
Minako: Hey Hotaru!
Hotaru: What the hell are you doing here?
Minako: I need your advice.
Hotaru: Shoot.
Minako: I want to get highlights, but no one thinks-
Hotaru: Let me stop you there. You CAN'T get highlights, because your hair is too light. No one would notice. However, knowing you, all I said was mumbling in your head, so you go get your highlights. I recommend you visit the doctor that gave the other girls surgeries.
Minako: Thank you for understanding!
* Minako runs out of the apartment. She arrives at the surgery hospital.
Minako: Hello, Mr. Doctor?
Doctor: Hello. How may I help you?
Minako: Yes, I'm looking to get highlights.
Doctor: All right, right this way.
Minako: You mean you're not going to tell me how I can't get them because I'm blonde.
Doctor: No, because I'm a doctor. I don't care about your retarded decisions; I just want your money.
Minako: Oh, okay!
* The doctor begins with the highlights. After three hours he's done.
Doctor: What do you think?
Minako: I love it! It looks staggering! Did I just say staggering?
Doctor: Yes. You might be experiencing that you're smart now. See, I accidentally burned your brain with the acids I used for the highlights. So I simply took a brain I had in storage, and replaced them.
Minako: Why are you keeping brains in-
Doctor: No more questions. You're highlights are free since I replaced your brain.
Minako: Splendid.
* Minako goes back to Rei's temple.
Minako: ?ao ladies!
Ami: Are you okay?
Minako: I'm simply exquisite! How are you?
Ami: Fine, I guess. You don't sound okay.
* The Senshis' beepers go off.
Usagi: It's an enemy! It's at a festival.
* The girls arrive at the festival.
Usagi: hey you! Stop right there!
Monster 2: Huh? Who're you?
Usagi: I'm glad you asked. I'm the champion-
Minako: We don't have time for talking, just shoot him.
Usagi: Nut my powers a nemocracy. They heal.
Minako: Fine! Crescent Beam!
* Minako rips the monster's arms off.
Monster 2: Ow! You bitch!
* The monster shoots an electrical ball at Minako. She jumps out of the way, and the ball hits Makoto, decapitating her.
Usagi: Oh my god!
Ami: Gross!
Rei: Makoto!
Minako: You have to do better than that!
Monster 2: Fine!
* He shoots at her again while she's in the air. She grabs a metal pan, and the electricity shoots back at the monster.
Usagi: Minako! When did you get so smart?
Minako: This morning. The doctor got me a better brain.
Ami: Minako, look out!
* A supporting beam breaks off of the festival stage and hits Minako over the head.
Rei: Are you okay Minako?
Minako: (Waking up) Huh?
Ami: She looks okay.
Minako: Why's everyone staring at me?
Usagi: You're alive!
Minako: Why wouldn't I be?
Usagi: Because a supporting beam hit you over the head.
Minako: It did? Ow!
Ami: As long as you're all right.
* The four senshi walk away. Makoto's decapitated body lies dead at the festival. No one seems to notice it.
Continued later. (maybe)