CHAPTER FIVE

'Neo, please, say something,' Trinity begged, sniffling again.

Neo's head spun. Pregnant? PREGNANT? How could that have happened? Pregnancy was something touched everybody else but him. It wasn't real. It couldn't. The sensation was surreal. It only happened once...just once. It wasn't right.

He tried to sound the words with his mouth, but no sound came out. 'Pregnant...pregnant...pregnant...' Moments later, the realisation truly set in. Pregnant = baby. And baby = father. Neo was not a father; not ready to be one. Didn't know if he ever would be. And he couldn't quite picture Trinity being a mother. His thoughts were cruel, irrational, almost barbaric, but it was an insane moment.

'Are you sure?' he finally responded, hoping and praying that somehow she'd been mistaken.

'Damnit, Neo, why would I say something like that if I wasn't sure? I've missed my period. And Cass got me a tester, when I was plugged in last week. I'm going to have a baby. WE'RE going to have a baby.'

Neo's facial expression was an alarming contortion of horror, shock, confusion and anger. 'How...how...'

'You're a little old to be asking that question, Neo.'

Neo shook his head. 'This isn't right. We can't have a baby...at all...let alone in the middle of the matrix. It's WRONG. And...well...you're not exactly a motherly type.'

Fury washed over Trinity's face. 'Who said?'

'I don't know...just...you're not a maternal woman.'

'Fuck you, Neo.' Trinity was furious. 'How dare you assume that? Maybe I've always wanted children? Maybe I've always wanted to be a mother? Oh, but because I kick some arse and kill a few bastards, it makes me unmaternal?'

'No...that's not what was saying...' Neo said, but he knew his words sounded pathetic. 'Anyway, if you always wanted kids, then why are you so upset?'

'Because I don't want to have to bring my own children into this nightmare. I don't want them to suffer what we do, and worry whether they're going to die or if Smith is gonna kill them when we're not looking.'

'Why plural?'

'I'm speaking generally.' Anger continued to blaze like fire in Trinity's eyes. 'And I knew you wouldn't be happy. That's why I didn't want to tell you.'

Neo found it hard to understand his own feelings. In one sense, he was dismayed and petrified. He agreed with Trinity. He did not want to bring children into this nightmarish whirlwind of death and bloodthirsty destruction. And he genuinely did not feel ready to be a father, though he'd always wanted children...eventually. He'd always assumed, though, that their conception would be under controlled conditions. Planned. Not like this. Not like this.

'Trin...' He reached out to hug her. 'I love you. I'm sorry. I think you'd make a great mum. I just...it's not easy to come to terms with.'

'And you think it's any easier for me? I'm the one having this fricking baby.'

'I know, I know. I'm sorry.' He looked at her with pleading eyes. 'Listen,' he said, 'I'm still kind of upset. I don't want babies to suffer all this, like you said. And I don't know if I'm ready to be a dad just yet.' He took a deep breath. 'But I suppose I have nine months to get used to the idea. And I love you. I'll help you through anything. We'll get through anything, as long as we're together.' He smiled weakly. 'Even this.' He wiped away the moisture from her cheeks.

Trinity wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in closer to her, breathing in the scent of his hair and her skin. Neo closed his eyes and considered the fact that having a baby, aside from the obvious disadvantages in terms of the ship, might not be as terrible a thing as he'd first thought. Perhaps only because he had Trinity by his side.