Session 08: Rei Hino
Narrator: The following is a documentary of one of Japan's most bizarre incidents. This historical documented footage is the only one we have of this little girl. On a hot summer day in August, five local teens named: Usagi, Ami, Rei, Minako, and Chibiusa were involved in one of the world's most baffling massacres. This tragedy has affected us all, but no one more than a local mangako named Naoko Takeuchi. We have simply called these tragic events, which you are about to read, "The Tomoe Sharp-blade Massacre". We will begin our documentary here, and Hino Temple where current owner Rei is cleaning it.
* The narrator walks up to Rei.
Narrator: Hello.
Rei: What are you doing here? This is a documentary; you're not supposed to be here! Go back into the black and white picture television.
Narrator: Very well.
* The narrator goes back into the black and white picture television.
Narrator: I will now play you, the reader, this documentary. Enjoy.
* Rei is sweeping her temple. Usagi walks up to her.
Usagi: Hey Rei!
Rei: Stay away demon!
* She hits Usagi over the head with her broom.
Rei: Oh, sorry Usagi.
Usagi: What's wrong?
Rei: I had a strange dream last night.
Usagi: Cool, anyway, Ami and Minako want us to go to Makoto's house.
Rei: Why?
Usagi: I don't know. Something about giving her our respects.
Rei: Why?
Usagi: She died.
Rei: If we HAVE to. I'll go get dressed.
* Rei comes back nicely dressed. They head off. Soon they arrive at a farmhouse.
Doorman: Welcome to the Kino House. If you look to your right, you'll see a meat factory, and to your left a service station. If you are to experience being chased by a crazy, skin-disease stricken madman, please go to the service station and NOT the meat factory. Everyone ALWAYS goes to the meat factory.
Usagi: Hi, we're here for Makoto's funeral.
Doorman: Right this way. And remember, NOT THE MEAT-FUCKING-FACTORY!!!
Rei: Okay, okay. Sheesh, what a fag.
* Usagi and Rei walk in to see Ami, Minako, and Chibiusa waiting for them.
Ami: Why are all of these people so sad?
Minako: I know; it's like they lost someone died or something.
Usagi: Hey guys. Why are we here?
Chibiusa: We are mourning for the dead.
Rei: Who died?
Chibiusa: Makoto!
Usagi: Oh. So?
Chibiusa: It is unimaginable of how big of an idiot you are!
Ami: I think we should explore this place.
Minako: Why?
Ami: So we can see where Makoto got that tape that killed her.
Chibiusa: There's no tape! You are all morons! And you Ami are spoofing the wrong fucking movie!!!
Usagi: Chibiusa. You need to calm down.
Chibiusa: I can't calm down! You are all idiots. I can't believe this is how you react to your friend's death! You should be wailing, but instead you want to explore this place. Oh my God! Why am I even yelling at you, it's not like your vagina-brains are picking up any of this! And-
* a fat, masked man ran through the room with a sharp object and ripped Chibiusa in two.
Usagi: Oh my God! He killed her!
Usagi, Ami, Rei, and Minako: AHH!
* They start running away from him. He begins chasing them.
Ami: We're all gonna die!
* They run into an intersection. One way leads to the meat factory and the other to the service station.
Minako: Which way do we go?
Rei: That man said to the service station.
Usagi: We should split up!
Ami: What? We're going to the service station. That man told us to.
Usagi: Fine, you can just kiss my ass! I'm going left!
* Usagi runs left into the meat factory. The other three go to the service station. Usagi quickly runs back and switches the signs so her path says service station and the other three's says meat factory. She runs down her path again.
* The madman runs up to the signs. He goes right thinking it's the meat factory. Usagi runs through the meat factory and outside. She sees a car, so she takes it and drives off.
* Ami, Rei, and Minako run down to the service station. There is only one window there, but it is locked.
Ami: Break it open with your Crescent Beam, Minako.
Minako: I can't. I forgot my transformation pen at home.
Rei: Get this chair!
* Rei grabs a chair and throws it through the window. It shatters. The girls start running out of the window. Ami is the last one, but the madman grabs her hair.
Ami: AHH!
* The madman takes his sharp object and cuts her bigger tit off.
Ami: No! My precious!
* The Madman rips her torso into tidbits.
* Minako and Rei see Ami get butchered, and the madman getting out of the window.
Rei: Run!
* They start running again. They go through a door labeled "Employees Only". Inside the room, Rei and Minako see bodies and body ligament hanging off the ceiling.
Minako: Eww!
Rei: No time for squirming, keep running!
* Minako and Rei run through and door. There is a big "McDonalds" pole outside of the door. They realize that they just went through McDonalds meat storage room.
Minako: So that's what they put in those burgers!
Rei: Keep runni- AHH!
* The madman jumps in front of Minako. And, with his sharp object, impales her head into the ground.
Rei: AHH!
* Rei continues running. She runs up in front a truck and slams on the door. The trucker ignores her, and drives off.
Rei: Shit! Ahh!
* She continues running. The madman gets a little closer to her. Rei trips and falls. The madman grabs her hair and drags her back home.
* Back at the Kino House. Rei wake up from her unconsciousness and sees a family sitting and watching TV. One of the members is the madman.
Rei: Ahh!
Kino Father: Oh hush up. You'll wake up the baby.
Rei: Get away from him. He'll kill you!
Kino Mother: No he won't. We're family. He only goes after troublemakers.
Rei: But I'm not a troublemaker.
Kino Mother: Sure you are. (Starts crying) They all make fun of Billy's skin condition. No one took time to care and see how he feels, no one! That's why they all hang at that McDonalds!
Rei: Lady, get help! I never even seen that man before.
Kino Father: Billy; go take her to the factory.
Rei: NO!
* The madman grabs Rei's hair and drags her.
Rei: Stop it! My hair hurts! Lift me up!
* The madman lifts Rei up, and puts her over his shoulder. He continues to the factory.
Rei: Thank you.
Madman: No prob.
Rei: By the way, what will you do with me?
Madman: I'll first cut your hair off, and then give you a plastic surgery.
Rei: Oh, you mean like a face-lift?
Madman: Sort of. I'll peel your skin and then make a mask out of it.
Rei: Eww!
Madman: I know, but there's nothing better to do.
Rei: Why not read a manga?
Madman: What's that?
Rei: Japanese comic books. They have deep storylines and you really get into the plot.
Madman: Sounds interesting. But, I have to torture and kill you.
Rei: Aww.
* The madman hangs Rei onto a hook.
Rei: Ahh! That hurts!
Madman: Ya well, too bad.
* He takes a sharp object off of his laboratory table, and chops Rei's leg off.
Rei: AHH!
* Then he takes a handful of salt and shoves it up her leg.
Rei: AHHH! (Starts crying)
* The madman leaves, and then returns after two hours. Rei is unconscious from the pain. He pulls her off of the hook, and begins a plastic surgery on her.
* After he completes it, he takes her body upstairs to his family.
Madman: Hey y'all. What you think about my new creation?
Family: Aww!
* The madman hangs Rei over the TV so everyone can see her. Her hair was butchered off, she had a leg missing, her arms and head had no skin on them, her breasts were gone, and her eyes were hanging by their cornea.
Narrator: We end this documentary with a cliffhanger; however, we will make a conclusion, due to the fact that this was a parody of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The one thing we will reveal is that 'Billy' was actually Hotaru in disguise. She killed the real Billy Kino and made a fat suit out of his body. She is on her way to killing off all of the Senshi. But one more remains. Sailor Moon.
Continued later. (maybe)
Narrator: The following is a documentary of one of Japan's most bizarre incidents. This historical documented footage is the only one we have of this little girl. On a hot summer day in August, five local teens named: Usagi, Ami, Rei, Minako, and Chibiusa were involved in one of the world's most baffling massacres. This tragedy has affected us all, but no one more than a local mangako named Naoko Takeuchi. We have simply called these tragic events, which you are about to read, "The Tomoe Sharp-blade Massacre". We will begin our documentary here, and Hino Temple where current owner Rei is cleaning it.
* The narrator walks up to Rei.
Narrator: Hello.
Rei: What are you doing here? This is a documentary; you're not supposed to be here! Go back into the black and white picture television.
Narrator: Very well.
* The narrator goes back into the black and white picture television.
Narrator: I will now play you, the reader, this documentary. Enjoy.
* Rei is sweeping her temple. Usagi walks up to her.
Usagi: Hey Rei!
Rei: Stay away demon!
* She hits Usagi over the head with her broom.
Rei: Oh, sorry Usagi.
Usagi: What's wrong?
Rei: I had a strange dream last night.
Usagi: Cool, anyway, Ami and Minako want us to go to Makoto's house.
Rei: Why?
Usagi: I don't know. Something about giving her our respects.
Rei: Why?
Usagi: She died.
Rei: If we HAVE to. I'll go get dressed.
* Rei comes back nicely dressed. They head off. Soon they arrive at a farmhouse.
Doorman: Welcome to the Kino House. If you look to your right, you'll see a meat factory, and to your left a service station. If you are to experience being chased by a crazy, skin-disease stricken madman, please go to the service station and NOT the meat factory. Everyone ALWAYS goes to the meat factory.
Usagi: Hi, we're here for Makoto's funeral.
Doorman: Right this way. And remember, NOT THE MEAT-FUCKING-FACTORY!!!
Rei: Okay, okay. Sheesh, what a fag.
* Usagi and Rei walk in to see Ami, Minako, and Chibiusa waiting for them.
Ami: Why are all of these people so sad?
Minako: I know; it's like they lost someone died or something.
Usagi: Hey guys. Why are we here?
Chibiusa: We are mourning for the dead.
Rei: Who died?
Chibiusa: Makoto!
Usagi: Oh. So?
Chibiusa: It is unimaginable of how big of an idiot you are!
Ami: I think we should explore this place.
Minako: Why?
Ami: So we can see where Makoto got that tape that killed her.
Chibiusa: There's no tape! You are all morons! And you Ami are spoofing the wrong fucking movie!!!
Usagi: Chibiusa. You need to calm down.
Chibiusa: I can't calm down! You are all idiots. I can't believe this is how you react to your friend's death! You should be wailing, but instead you want to explore this place. Oh my God! Why am I even yelling at you, it's not like your vagina-brains are picking up any of this! And-
* a fat, masked man ran through the room with a sharp object and ripped Chibiusa in two.
Usagi: Oh my God! He killed her!
Usagi, Ami, Rei, and Minako: AHH!
* They start running away from him. He begins chasing them.
Ami: We're all gonna die!
* They run into an intersection. One way leads to the meat factory and the other to the service station.
Minako: Which way do we go?
Rei: That man said to the service station.
Usagi: We should split up!
Ami: What? We're going to the service station. That man told us to.
Usagi: Fine, you can just kiss my ass! I'm going left!
* Usagi runs left into the meat factory. The other three go to the service station. Usagi quickly runs back and switches the signs so her path says service station and the other three's says meat factory. She runs down her path again.
* The madman runs up to the signs. He goes right thinking it's the meat factory. Usagi runs through the meat factory and outside. She sees a car, so she takes it and drives off.
* Ami, Rei, and Minako run down to the service station. There is only one window there, but it is locked.
Ami: Break it open with your Crescent Beam, Minako.
Minako: I can't. I forgot my transformation pen at home.
Rei: Get this chair!
* Rei grabs a chair and throws it through the window. It shatters. The girls start running out of the window. Ami is the last one, but the madman grabs her hair.
Ami: AHH!
* The madman takes his sharp object and cuts her bigger tit off.
Ami: No! My precious!
* The Madman rips her torso into tidbits.
* Minako and Rei see Ami get butchered, and the madman getting out of the window.
Rei: Run!
* They start running again. They go through a door labeled "Employees Only". Inside the room, Rei and Minako see bodies and body ligament hanging off the ceiling.
Minako: Eww!
Rei: No time for squirming, keep running!
* Minako and Rei run through and door. There is a big "McDonalds" pole outside of the door. They realize that they just went through McDonalds meat storage room.
Minako: So that's what they put in those burgers!
Rei: Keep runni- AHH!
* The madman jumps in front of Minako. And, with his sharp object, impales her head into the ground.
Rei: AHH!
* Rei continues running. She runs up in front a truck and slams on the door. The trucker ignores her, and drives off.
Rei: Shit! Ahh!
* She continues running. The madman gets a little closer to her. Rei trips and falls. The madman grabs her hair and drags her back home.
* Back at the Kino House. Rei wake up from her unconsciousness and sees a family sitting and watching TV. One of the members is the madman.
Rei: Ahh!
Kino Father: Oh hush up. You'll wake up the baby.
Rei: Get away from him. He'll kill you!
Kino Mother: No he won't. We're family. He only goes after troublemakers.
Rei: But I'm not a troublemaker.
Kino Mother: Sure you are. (Starts crying) They all make fun of Billy's skin condition. No one took time to care and see how he feels, no one! That's why they all hang at that McDonalds!
Rei: Lady, get help! I never even seen that man before.
Kino Father: Billy; go take her to the factory.
Rei: NO!
* The madman grabs Rei's hair and drags her.
Rei: Stop it! My hair hurts! Lift me up!
* The madman lifts Rei up, and puts her over his shoulder. He continues to the factory.
Rei: Thank you.
Madman: No prob.
Rei: By the way, what will you do with me?
Madman: I'll first cut your hair off, and then give you a plastic surgery.
Rei: Oh, you mean like a face-lift?
Madman: Sort of. I'll peel your skin and then make a mask out of it.
Rei: Eww!
Madman: I know, but there's nothing better to do.
Rei: Why not read a manga?
Madman: What's that?
Rei: Japanese comic books. They have deep storylines and you really get into the plot.
Madman: Sounds interesting. But, I have to torture and kill you.
Rei: Aww.
* The madman hangs Rei onto a hook.
Rei: Ahh! That hurts!
Madman: Ya well, too bad.
* He takes a sharp object off of his laboratory table, and chops Rei's leg off.
Rei: AHH!
* Then he takes a handful of salt and shoves it up her leg.
Rei: AHHH! (Starts crying)
* The madman leaves, and then returns after two hours. Rei is unconscious from the pain. He pulls her off of the hook, and begins a plastic surgery on her.
* After he completes it, he takes her body upstairs to his family.
Madman: Hey y'all. What you think about my new creation?
Family: Aww!
* The madman hangs Rei over the TV so everyone can see her. Her hair was butchered off, she had a leg missing, her arms and head had no skin on them, her breasts were gone, and her eyes were hanging by their cornea.
Narrator: We end this documentary with a cliffhanger; however, we will make a conclusion, due to the fact that this was a parody of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The one thing we will reveal is that 'Billy' was actually Hotaru in disguise. She killed the real Billy Kino and made a fat suit out of his body. She is on her way to killing off all of the Senshi. But one more remains. Sailor Moon.
Continued later. (maybe)