CHAPTER SIX
Neo and Trinity spent the next two hours, curled up on the bed, numb with shock.
The realisation of the situation suddenly sank in, and Neo wasn't sure how to deal with it.
He found it difficult to explain his emotions, to himself, let alone to Trinity. Ever since meeting and falling in love with Trinity, he'd been so different. He began to think of other people aside from himself. He had a purpose to all his actions, a reason behind every word he spoke. And since falling in love Trinity, he'd realised she was the only woman he ever wanted to be with. He'd often imagined what life would be like after the Matrix. He'd marry Trinity, no doubt about that. And, ultimately, he'd have children with her. That fact was without question. He never wanted to be with anyone but Trinity for the rest of his life. And, yes, he'd often thought about what their children would one day look like, how they'd turn out…he always imagined a family in eventuality, though he still wanted to enjoy the time he had with Trinity, alone. Perhaps it was a selfish thought, but sensible at the same time. He did not want to have to share her with anybody else, especially children. He'd seen first-hand in the human world how much effort child-rearing took, and the impact it had on romantic relationships. Yes, it was self-centred and self-serving, but he wanted Trinity all to himself. At least, for a little while. But now he had a time limit. Nine months. And then their baby would be born. And it would all change. He sighed, remembering his parents…they'd been so in love before children had entered their marriage context…after the birth of Neo's older brother Tristan, however, things had changed. They'd gotten more short with one another, had less time to themselves, or so his father often told him before he died. And then, with the arrival of Neo and then his younger sister Sarah, the relationship had crumbled completely. The once-beautiful partnership resulted in a bitter divorce that sent Mr Anderson senior to the lure of alcohol. And then he'd died, alone, of alcohol poisoning.
Perhaps that was why he didn't want children. He'd seen, first-hand, what they could do to the parents' life. And I was the reason, he surmised. I caused their divorce. Dad's death. Mum's depression. Her insanity.
A tear fell down Neo's cheek, quite of its own accord. He'd rarely ever thought about his past, but somehow this talk of babies had triggered off something in his subconscious that wanted to be let out. Images of the past flooded his mind, and for a moment he forgot about the Matrix, forgot about the baby, forgot about Trinity. He let his tears fall in great, racking sobs.
'Neo?' Trinity asked, cupping his face in her hands and peering at him, concerned. 'What is it?' She kissed his forehead.
Neo leant his forehead against Trinity's and cried even more. 'Trin,' he gulped, tears running down his nose, his cheeks, his lips, his chin, 'I can't lose you. I can't.'
'You won't, I promise.' She kissed his nose, and tasted the saltiness of his tears. 'I won't ever leave you.' She pulled him to her and wrapped him in a huge hug. 'You've got to believe me.'
'My Dad…'
'Yes?'
Neo had never spoken to Trinity about his father before. Nor his mother. His past had remained veiled throughout the Matrix journey. There had been no time for such talk, but even if there had, he wouldn't have done it. 'Dad….he…' He began to cry again, and his expression was a mirror of the grief tearing through his mind. 'He…he…started hating Mum after us kids were born.'
'Don't feel ashamed to cry,' she said, 'keep going. Tell me everything. I'll listen.'
So he did. He told her everything. About the drunken rows, about the bruises and the bitter diatribes constantly shared between parents. How Sarah had killed herself at the age of fourteen. How Tristan had disappeared, leaving sixteen-year-old Thomas Anderson to be with his parents. How the children had ruined their parents' lives.
'Neo, Neo,' Trinity cried, kissing him madly on the lips. 'That wasn't your fault. It was your parents! They were incompatible. Or they couldn't cope with children. They didn't know how to deal with it. It doesn't mean it will change anything between us, having this baby.' She clutched her stomach, and brought his hand to it too. 'We're in this together, forever,' she said. 'This baby is gonna get all the love it can. And so are we. We'll never not love each other, you understand me? I know. I love you too much to let that happen.'
'Trin…' he cried hoarsely. 'I love you. I love you.' He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her so tightly she felt mildly strangled. 'God, I don't know what I would do without you. I'll do or be anything for you.'
'Just be with me and love me, and I'll be the happiest woman in the world.'
He kissed her again.
'And,' she said, 'I'll feel so much pride when I can say that I gave birth to your child.'
'No, not mine,' he said. 'Ours.'
Neo and Trinity spent the next two hours, curled up on the bed, numb with shock.
The realisation of the situation suddenly sank in, and Neo wasn't sure how to deal with it.
He found it difficult to explain his emotions, to himself, let alone to Trinity. Ever since meeting and falling in love with Trinity, he'd been so different. He began to think of other people aside from himself. He had a purpose to all his actions, a reason behind every word he spoke. And since falling in love Trinity, he'd realised she was the only woman he ever wanted to be with. He'd often imagined what life would be like after the Matrix. He'd marry Trinity, no doubt about that. And, ultimately, he'd have children with her. That fact was without question. He never wanted to be with anyone but Trinity for the rest of his life. And, yes, he'd often thought about what their children would one day look like, how they'd turn out…he always imagined a family in eventuality, though he still wanted to enjoy the time he had with Trinity, alone. Perhaps it was a selfish thought, but sensible at the same time. He did not want to have to share her with anybody else, especially children. He'd seen first-hand in the human world how much effort child-rearing took, and the impact it had on romantic relationships. Yes, it was self-centred and self-serving, but he wanted Trinity all to himself. At least, for a little while. But now he had a time limit. Nine months. And then their baby would be born. And it would all change. He sighed, remembering his parents…they'd been so in love before children had entered their marriage context…after the birth of Neo's older brother Tristan, however, things had changed. They'd gotten more short with one another, had less time to themselves, or so his father often told him before he died. And then, with the arrival of Neo and then his younger sister Sarah, the relationship had crumbled completely. The once-beautiful partnership resulted in a bitter divorce that sent Mr Anderson senior to the lure of alcohol. And then he'd died, alone, of alcohol poisoning.
Perhaps that was why he didn't want children. He'd seen, first-hand, what they could do to the parents' life. And I was the reason, he surmised. I caused their divorce. Dad's death. Mum's depression. Her insanity.
A tear fell down Neo's cheek, quite of its own accord. He'd rarely ever thought about his past, but somehow this talk of babies had triggered off something in his subconscious that wanted to be let out. Images of the past flooded his mind, and for a moment he forgot about the Matrix, forgot about the baby, forgot about Trinity. He let his tears fall in great, racking sobs.
'Neo?' Trinity asked, cupping his face in her hands and peering at him, concerned. 'What is it?' She kissed his forehead.
Neo leant his forehead against Trinity's and cried even more. 'Trin,' he gulped, tears running down his nose, his cheeks, his lips, his chin, 'I can't lose you. I can't.'
'You won't, I promise.' She kissed his nose, and tasted the saltiness of his tears. 'I won't ever leave you.' She pulled him to her and wrapped him in a huge hug. 'You've got to believe me.'
'My Dad…'
'Yes?'
Neo had never spoken to Trinity about his father before. Nor his mother. His past had remained veiled throughout the Matrix journey. There had been no time for such talk, but even if there had, he wouldn't have done it. 'Dad….he…' He began to cry again, and his expression was a mirror of the grief tearing through his mind. 'He…he…started hating Mum after us kids were born.'
'Don't feel ashamed to cry,' she said, 'keep going. Tell me everything. I'll listen.'
So he did. He told her everything. About the drunken rows, about the bruises and the bitter diatribes constantly shared between parents. How Sarah had killed herself at the age of fourteen. How Tristan had disappeared, leaving sixteen-year-old Thomas Anderson to be with his parents. How the children had ruined their parents' lives.
'Neo, Neo,' Trinity cried, kissing him madly on the lips. 'That wasn't your fault. It was your parents! They were incompatible. Or they couldn't cope with children. They didn't know how to deal with it. It doesn't mean it will change anything between us, having this baby.' She clutched her stomach, and brought his hand to it too. 'We're in this together, forever,' she said. 'This baby is gonna get all the love it can. And so are we. We'll never not love each other, you understand me? I know. I love you too much to let that happen.'
'Trin…' he cried hoarsely. 'I love you. I love you.' He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her so tightly she felt mildly strangled. 'God, I don't know what I would do without you. I'll do or be anything for you.'
'Just be with me and love me, and I'll be the happiest woman in the world.'
He kissed her again.
'And,' she said, 'I'll feel so much pride when I can say that I gave birth to your child.'
'No, not mine,' he said. 'Ours.'