Session 09: Hotaru Tomoe
* Hotaru gets out of her 'Billy Kino' outfit. She goes back to her apartment and starts watching TV. The phone rings.
Hotaru: Hello?
Usagi: Hey Hotaru, It's me, Usagi.
Hotaru: And.
Usagi: I need your help. Everyone's dead I think and I don't have my transformation brooch with me.
Hotaru: So.
Usagi: Well, come and get me. I'm at the downtown shopping mall.
Hotaru: Bye.
* Hotaru hangs up on Usagi. She gets an evil look on her face.
Hotaru: And then there was one.
* Back at the downtown mall; Usagi tries to sell herself to prostitution for money to go back home.
Usagi: Oh come on guys! I've already been with someone so you're guaranteed experience.
* A little boy walk up to her.
Little Boy: I'll do you.
Usagi: What are you, eight? Are you crazy? Get out of her you bastard!
* Hotaru arrives at the famous doctor's office.
Hotaru: Hello? Anyone here?
* The doctor jumps out of a room.
Doctor: How may I help you?
Hotaru: Um. You have something on your nose. It looks sticky.
Doctor: That's nothing! What do you want?
Hotaru: I would like a face-lift.
Doctor: But you look nine.
Hotaru: And nine is close to thirteen. Once I'm thirteen, I'll be a teenager. Right after that there's maturity and BOOM I look like Oprah.
Doctor: Oh I so sorry. Come right this way.
* The theme song to ER begins playing in the background.
Doctor: Give me a 9" scalpel.
Nurse: A what?
Doctor: The shiny thin next to the cup of water.
Nurse: Oh! Here you go.
Doctor: I have to be careful, and. SHIT!
Nurse: Oh no, you made a boo-boo.
* Hotaru wakes up from the surgery.
Hotaru: How is it doctor?
Doctor: I'll be clean. I accidentally ripped your face off. But it's okay; I replaced it with a donor face.
Hotaru: Oh crap! Donors always have ugly faces!
Doctor: This one is a celebrity.
Hotaru: Who?
Doctor: The only celebrity donor out there, Rosie.
Hotaru: The fat, white lesbian?
Doctor: Yes.
Hotaru: I guess I can live with that. But I'm not paying!
Doctor: Suit yourself.
* Hotaru leaves the office and heads to the mall. She arrives and drags Usagi out of the mall.
Hotaru: Are you selling your body for money? (Shocked)
Usagi: Yes. I need to get home! (Wailing)
Hotaru: I've decided that it's time to end you life.
Usagi: What, why?
Hotaru: Because I've dispatched with all of the others, except maybe Haruka might still be alive.
Usagi: YOU killed all of them?
Hotaru: Ya. Who do you think did it?
Usagi: But what about Rei, Ami, and Minako?
Hotaru: I pretended to be some crazy, fat man, and butchered them.
Usagi: But you're not fat.
Hotaru: (Happy) Oh thank you. (Serious) I took the real rat man's body and made it into a suit.
Usagi: Well you won't get me.
Hotaru: There's nothing you can do, since you forgot your transformation brooch at home, you're powerless.
Usagi: Not quite.
* Usagi speeds off at the speed of light. Hotaru runs after her.
Continued later. (maybe)
* Hotaru gets out of her 'Billy Kino' outfit. She goes back to her apartment and starts watching TV. The phone rings.
Hotaru: Hello?
Usagi: Hey Hotaru, It's me, Usagi.
Hotaru: And.
Usagi: I need your help. Everyone's dead I think and I don't have my transformation brooch with me.
Hotaru: So.
Usagi: Well, come and get me. I'm at the downtown shopping mall.
Hotaru: Bye.
* Hotaru hangs up on Usagi. She gets an evil look on her face.
Hotaru: And then there was one.
* Back at the downtown mall; Usagi tries to sell herself to prostitution for money to go back home.
Usagi: Oh come on guys! I've already been with someone so you're guaranteed experience.
* A little boy walk up to her.
Little Boy: I'll do you.
Usagi: What are you, eight? Are you crazy? Get out of her you bastard!
* Hotaru arrives at the famous doctor's office.
Hotaru: Hello? Anyone here?
* The doctor jumps out of a room.
Doctor: How may I help you?
Hotaru: Um. You have something on your nose. It looks sticky.
Doctor: That's nothing! What do you want?
Hotaru: I would like a face-lift.
Doctor: But you look nine.
Hotaru: And nine is close to thirteen. Once I'm thirteen, I'll be a teenager. Right after that there's maturity and BOOM I look like Oprah.
Doctor: Oh I so sorry. Come right this way.
* The theme song to ER begins playing in the background.
Doctor: Give me a 9" scalpel.
Nurse: A what?
Doctor: The shiny thin next to the cup of water.
Nurse: Oh! Here you go.
Doctor: I have to be careful, and. SHIT!
Nurse: Oh no, you made a boo-boo.
* Hotaru wakes up from the surgery.
Hotaru: How is it doctor?
Doctor: I'll be clean. I accidentally ripped your face off. But it's okay; I replaced it with a donor face.
Hotaru: Oh crap! Donors always have ugly faces!
Doctor: This one is a celebrity.
Hotaru: Who?
Doctor: The only celebrity donor out there, Rosie.
Hotaru: The fat, white lesbian?
Doctor: Yes.
Hotaru: I guess I can live with that. But I'm not paying!
Doctor: Suit yourself.
* Hotaru leaves the office and heads to the mall. She arrives and drags Usagi out of the mall.
Hotaru: Are you selling your body for money? (Shocked)
Usagi: Yes. I need to get home! (Wailing)
Hotaru: I've decided that it's time to end you life.
Usagi: What, why?
Hotaru: Because I've dispatched with all of the others, except maybe Haruka might still be alive.
Usagi: YOU killed all of them?
Hotaru: Ya. Who do you think did it?
Usagi: But what about Rei, Ami, and Minako?
Hotaru: I pretended to be some crazy, fat man, and butchered them.
Usagi: But you're not fat.
Hotaru: (Happy) Oh thank you. (Serious) I took the real rat man's body and made it into a suit.
Usagi: Well you won't get me.
Hotaru: There's nothing you can do, since you forgot your transformation brooch at home, you're powerless.
Usagi: Not quite.
* Usagi speeds off at the speed of light. Hotaru runs after her.
Continued later. (maybe)