A Slayer With Munsters In Her Blood

*This is a product of watching classic TV at two Am.

She had been living with her Aunt Lily and Uncle Herman for years when she got the call. Her name was Marilyn Munster. She was a petite blond with a sweet nature, and a bizarre family. She had never thought that she would be the chosen one. Why, it was almost unthinkable. Her grandfather was a vampire, after all. Marilyn had been chasing after Eddie, on one of his moony phases. She was making her way through a graveyard.

Suddenly, she fell to her knees as a surge of power raced through her. She sensed something moving her way. As she lifted a stick from the ground, she whirled to face . . . her grandfather's old friend, William the bloody.

"William! You startled me."

"Bloody, right I should startle you. I'm a vampire, you bint."

"Oh, I know you're a vampire. You're friends with Grandpa Munster."

"Grandpa? But that would make you - bloody 'ell. Little Marilyn? Nibblet? I haven't seen you since you were this high. Dru's about. She'd love to see Lily."

"Come on in. They'll be absolutely thrilled."

William turned to fetch Dru. And Marilyn went on her business, staking two or three vamps. When she got home, a little bloody and bruised, William and Drusilla were laughing with Herman and Lily.

William turned and looked at the girl. She certainly had grown up over the last few years. Looked like the nibblet had gotten herself into a little fight. Not proper and lady-like at all. She caught him staring at her as she brushed the dirt from her skirt.

"Marilyn, come say hello to Uncle Spike and Auntie Drusilla." Herman said.

"Nibblet already said hello to her Uncle Spike. Come on, duck, give Dru your love."

"No, there's something smelly on her. She's up to her head in dust, and Ms. Edith can smell the blood on her hands. She'll be dancing with the stars, her blood is different. One dies, the next is called."

"Dru, you're acting as if she's the bloody slayer."

"I am."

Spike vamped out and growled at her. Just then Grandpa entered. Seeing his old friend growling at his granddaughter. The Granddaughter, who was brandishing a stake.

"Marilyn. You aren't the Vampire Slayer?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, but I'll have to destroy you too."

"I forbid it. No granddaughter of mine would dare stoop to being a slayer."

With that, Herman grabbed Marilyn and held her as Grandpa turned her. She finally fit into her wacky family.