Chapter 2: You Ruined My Life
"I feel sick" said Neville, staring at his sausages and eggs.
"Aw, come on, Nev. Cheer up…by this time tomorrow, it will be over" said Ron, thumping the dumpy but good-natured boy on the back.
"It's not tomorrow I'm worried about…" Neville said darkly. "It's how to get there." He made a strangled sound in his throat.
Ron patted Neville in sympathy. He wished he could assure Neville that the Potions examination would be a breeze, but in all honesty, he couldn't. Not with knowing Neville's track record in Potions lessons.
The Great Hall was unnaturally quiet that morning at breakfast. It seemed that the tense silence of the seniors had filtered down and affected the juniors. Over at the Hufflepuff table, Hannah Abbot had spread out her notes all over the table and was poring over them with Justin Finch Fletchley. The honey jug had toppled and was also pouring over her notes but they seemed not to notice.
At the Slytherin table, Crabbe and Goyle's appetites did not seem affected by the upcoming potions exam. They resolutely stuffed sausages and eggs into their mouths, ignoring the dramatic sighs and little screams emitting from Pansy and Millicent who were flipping the pages of their Potions textbooks rapidly.
Harry stared straight in front of him, mechanically spooning porridge into his mouth. He was trying to ignore Hermione studying ferociously at his side. She was muttering under her breath, and turning the pages of her self-made notes as fast as she could. Occasionally, she would pause to take a deep breath only to begin muttering ferociously again.
"Hermione, you haven't touched your food" said Lavender, from across the table.
Hermione glanced up for a second, her eyes unfocused, before hunching down behind her enormous stack of notes. Harry was well aware that her self-made notes were thicker than her real Potions textbook.
Ron pulled a face at Lavender who smiled at him. They all knew what Hermione was like on mornings of examinations.
Hermione had memorized every potion in the book and then some. She was determined to do well… if for no other reason than to be able to wave her "Oustanding" grade in front of Snape's hooked nose. It made her blood boil how Snape always graded her one mark lower than Malfoy even though the results of their potions were always the same. Well, Snape wouldn't be grading her this time…it would be the Examinations Board and she would show him! All this ran through her mind as her eyes moved frenziedly across the page.
Suddenly, she felt uncomfortable. And she knew exactly why.
She looked across the hall at the Slytherin table and sure enough, he was watching her again. Unlike most of the other students in the hall, Draco appeared calm. He was not cramming notes or looking nauseous. That maddening self-assurance!
Blaise clung to his arm, trying to feed him a bit of toast with her fingers. Malfoy brushed her off impatiently. Blaise cast her eyes down and ate the toast herself.
So you're Snape's star student, eh Malfoy? She thought. Well…the Examinations Board hadn't seen Hermione Granger! We'll see who the top Potions student is in this school!
"Again?" whispered Harry, noticing where Hermione was looking.
Hermione jumped.
"Yes" she said quietly. "But forget it. It's no big deal."
"D'you think he's trying to tell you something?" said Harry.
"Tell me something?" snorted Hermione. "Not a chance. What could he possibly have to say to a mudblood like me that he hasn't already said in the six years we've known each other?"
Harry thought she sounded bitter and shrugged his shoulders. He knew it was a bad time to work themselves up over Malfoy. This was a compulsory paper and would count toward their scores in their leavening certificates. He scraped his porridge bowl clean and began gathering up his books.
The examination wasn't till 2 pm that afternoon, so the students had the morning to study. Harry, Ron, Neville and Seamus went out beside the Great Lake to study. They had a favourite tree to sit under. Hermione, as was her custom, went straight to the library. She hated talking to anyone before the paper and preferred studying alone.
Hermione settled down in her favourite corner of the library and spread her notes and books around her. She looked out of the window at the grounds of Hogwarts- so beautiful and tempting in the May sunshine- and shook her head. No. She must concentrate. To her dismay, she began to feel a bit wooly-headed again. She had noticed it yesterday evening- she suspected she had finally overdone the studying. It wasn't as easy to recall information as it had been for the first paper.
She gritted her teeth. Information overload or not, she must focus on this last paper. It was too late to give up now. She turned her eyes to her notes.
"Granger."
She looked up in surprise. She hadn't been aware that there were other people in this deserted corner of the library. Her eyes landed on the last person she wanted to see on the morning of her Potions exam.
"Malfoy"
He was leaning casually on the table in front of her, one hand resting on the table, the other in his trouser pocket. His silver-blonde hair fell into his gray eyes. In the ray of sunshine streaming in from the window beside them, he appeared to almost glow.
"What do you want?" she said, irritated at being interrupted. "And where's faithful Blaise?" she added, tartly.
"Faithful Blaise is with faithful Pansy and faithful Millicent" he replied smoothly. "My fan club, you know."
"Well, good for you." Hermione said. "Now, if you don't mind, I was studying." She noticed her heart was racing. What did he want with her? Was Ron right? Was he going to attack her now that they were finally alone in this deserted corner of the library? She jumped as he snatched her Potions textbook from out of her hands and held it up to his face.
"Give that back!" she whispered fiercely.
With one glance, Draco looked at the neat underlining of almost every paragraph in every page of the book. That was no surprise, Granger was the swottiest swot in the whole of Hogwarts. He put the book down.
"Scarhead and Weasel not around today?" he said, pleasantly.
Hermione's blood began to boil. "Get to the point Malfoy. I doubt you came here for small talk. If you think you are going to rattle my nerves before the Potions exam just so that you can score better….you've got another think coming because nothing, NOTHING, you say can affect me."
Malfoy felt a smile playing on his lips.
"That's good, Granger. Because I've been wanting to tell you something for some time now and I don't think you'll like it."
"Try me."
Malfoy narrowed his eyes and began speaking in a low, harsh voice.
"You ruined my life, mudblood. You are a stinking, disgusting, muggle-born thing…"
Hermione gasped. But Malfoy continued…
"If you had any idea what you and your species have done to my family, to my life…but no, you have no idea about the honour in great families, the value of lineage, the responsibilities of being wizarding royalty…"
"Wizarding royalty?" Hermione snickered, her eyes flashing. "Have you learned nothing since the Revolt, Malfoy, you ferret?"
"Don't call me that" Malfoy said, in a dangerous voice.
"Oh, and I suppose it's okay for you to call me a mudblood? A stinking, disgusting mudblood?" Hermione's voice was rising.
"You will never understand our position! What we stand for!"
"I think understand! Narrow-mindedness, conceit and snobbishness! You think we are beneath you…"
"You are! In the old days, you would have been labeled a common witch, denied entry into the great sorcery families…"
"…and made to polish your boots and shovel your dung I suppose!"
"Yes!"
"You dare to talk about me ruining your life…your death-eater father and his murderous cronies ruined the life of thousands of people in the world. You've made my life hell for the last seven years…I've stayed out of your way, so don't you talk to ME about ruining YOUR life!" Hermione's voice rose to a shout.
"Low-born witch!" Draco hissed. "It's all about your goody-goody friends and ways isn't it? Nasty naughty Draco Malfoy…death-eater's son and rich brat. No one ever asks me about my views… no, they don't count because nowadays, everyone bows down to mudbloods…"
"Shut up!"
"…and Hermione Granger is their star. The mudblood who helped lead the Revolt…"
"Is everything all right?"
It was Madam Pince. Hermione and Draco were both on their feet now, each rigid with fury and glaring at each other over the table. Both were unable to speak with anger.
"Yes." Hermione finally choked out, turning to Madam Pince. "Sorry about the noise."
"Well, keep it down." Said Madam Pince sharply. Hermione was her favourite student and she trusted her to behave.
"We will." Hermione said, trying a small smile. Madam Pince nodded and left.
Hermione sat down calmly and opened her Potions book. "Good try at rattling me, Malfoy. But as I told you, I couldn't care less what you had to say to me. Have a nice day."
Draco was still seething with fury. A thousand nasty things flitted through his mind. If they were completely alone, he would have grabbed Granger and shaken her till her teeth rattled. Probably slapped her a few times too. Prissy, goody little know-it-all. With her happy friends and happy life stretched out in front of her…
He couldn't let her have the last word.
"One day Granger, I hope you look at life like I do and see nothing but burden and duty. Then we'll see if you're still little miss sunshine."
"Ooh stop, Malfoy. You're making me cry." she said sarcastically.
"Good. It's what I wanted."
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Hermione found her thoughts flying everywhere after Malfoy had stormed off. Focus Hermione. Potions….Potions…she tried to read the explanation about the Sleeping Draught again but the words swam before her eyes. Damn you Malfoy! If you wanted to make me lose my concentration…congratulations!
She slammed her textbook shut in exasperation and rubbed her eyes. It was clear that she couldn't study any more for now. Maybe if she took a break and went for a walk around the castle, the fresh air would do her good.
Hermione put all her books into her bag and slung it over her shoulder. She headed for the castle grounds. Her head was full of nothing but Malfoy's hateful words. You ruined my life, mudblood…you are a stinking, disgusting, muggle-born thing. Typical Malfoy rudeness. After that 'Weasley is my king' stunt back in the fifth year, she had nothing but the lowest expectations of his behaviour. It was a pity that after seven years, she still hadn't got used to it! She wished she could just let it wash over her, like Harry did, but every time Draco started on her, she would feel her blood begin to boil.
And what was that rubbish he was talking about? honour in great families, the value of lineage, the responsibilities of being wizarding royalty…wizarding royalty, indeed! Hermione gave a snort. Conceited little ferret! If the Ministry heard him talking like that, they would have him investigated for discrimination against muggle-borns. Burden and duty what the hell was he on about anyway? Certainly Malfoy had changed. His insults and pranks used to be so…childish. But now, there was an edge to them, a kind of desperate bitterness. She remembered how Ron had described Malfoy's behaviour lately…Creepy.
All those notions of lineage and honour…that went out with the horse and carriage many years ago! She couldn't help it if he and his other Pureblood maniacs were stuck in the past.
"Hey!"
"Sorry!"
Without knowing watching she was going, Hermione had walked straight in Blaise Zabini. The ebony-haired girl smiled at Hermione. So Draco had chosen Zabini…biiiig surprise. The Zabini's were ridiculously rich and powerful purebloods, also, Draco couldn't have failed to notice that Zabini had blossomed into a very attractive young lady. Hermione had nothing against Blaise. Blaise was not spiteful like Pansy or mean like Millicent.
"Have you seen Draco? I couldn't find him all morning." Blaise asked.
Hermione wanted to laugh at the question. Well yes, actually we just had a screaming match in the library. "No, sorry" Hermione said.
"That's okay" laughed Blaise, nervously. "It's just that…" She bit her lip. "Nothing. Thanks."
Hermione looked closely at Blaise. There was something wrong. The usually cheerful Blaise looked…tearful?
"Blaise? What's up? Are you okay?"
The dark girl shook her head. "Thanks. Just worried about Potions."
"Aren't we all?" said Hermione, kindly.
Hermione watched as Zabini walked away. There was something about her movements…forced and dull. Not at all like earlier in the year when she told everyone Draco had asked her to be his wife. Hermione couldn't help remembering Zabini trying to feed Draco toast at breakfast and her hurt look when he brushed her off. Draco Malfoy, you are really are a number one asshole, Hermione thought savagely. How can you treat someone you love that way? She's going to be your wife, for heaven's sake.
"Hermione!" she heard Harry and Neville shouting at her from the lake. Without knowing it, her footsteps had taken her to their favourite study tree.
"Thank goodness you're here!" said Ron, pulling her to the ground. "Seamus and I were just having an argument about Veritaserum… the book says two dried Salamanders but Seamus was insisting that he read somewhere that one big one would have the same effect. Of course, you would know the answer Hermione."
Hermione rubbed her temples. Yes, she had read that somewhere too, but her head still felt woozy and she couldn't remember the exact details. "Seamus is right" she said, rather unsteadily. Seamus high-fived Harry who obviously agreed with him. "Where the potion specifies a number of small ingredients, a large one amounting to the combined weight of the smaller ingredients will suffice."
"Hermione, are you all right?" Neville asked.
The boys stared as Hermione closed her eyes and rubbed her head.
"Been studying too hard. Had a run-in with Malfoy in the library and now I have a huge headache."
Ron looked upset. "What happened, Hermione? What did the ferret do?"
"Oh his usual…mudblood insults and all that. He was just trying to rattle me before the Potions paper. He knows that he and I are neck and neck for top Potions mark in the NEWTS. Anyway. I'd rather not talk about it. I came out here to forget."
"I don't know why that git just can't leave Hermione alone! He's been on at her for years. Harry, I understand, but Hermione? She's never got in his way." Said Seamus angrily.
"Don't worry Hermione. Remember…just one more week and you'll never have to see him again." Harry said comfortingly.
"Yeah….unlike Poor Blaise Zabini who will have to spend the rest of her life with Malfoy." Said Ron, harshly. "What a tragic girl she is."
The other guys nodded.
Hermione looked at Ron in surprise, "Blaise and Malfoy? They're in love, aren't they?"
The guys snickered. "Not a chance," said Seamus. "Malfoys? Marry for love? Not since the twelfth century I would think! No, it's for her pureblood heritage he's doing it."
Hermione felt incredibly angry. "I must talk to her!" Hermione jumped up.
Harry pulled her down.
"Calm down, Hermione. It's no use."
"But she doesn't know…"
"Yes, she does." Harry said gently.
"Then why doesn't she break it off?"
Neville and Ron, both products of pureblood marriages and long pureblood bloodlines shifted uncomfortably.
"Er…. The burden of pureblood honour and lineage?" ventured Ron. He saw Hermione begin to bristle. Of course, since the Mudblood Revolt, such things had technically ceased to matter and Hermione had championed that cause. "Not that we believe anything like that of course," he added hastily. "Remember, Percy married Penelope and she's muggle-born. Us Weasley's gave up on that kind of narrow-mindedness long ago."
"Yeah, so did we" said Neville, who everyone knew was sort-of-seeing Padma Patil, a half-blood.
"But there are some families that are still mad keen on that kind of thing. The Malfoys, the Zabinis, the Montagues…practically all the Slytherins." Ron counted the names off on his fingers. "There is no way Roberto Zabini will let his daughter out of such a favourable marriage. She knows it."
Hermione was staring into space.
"It's lunch time!" said Seamus, getting to his feet. "Come on, Hermione. I bet after a big glass of cold milk you'll feel much better and clearer-headed for the exam! Our Hermione can beat old Draco Malfoy at Potions any day!"