****Sorry this took so long to get out but I got really sick and I still had two jobs to do. So all I did was work and sleep. I think I'm better now or at least getting there. Anyway, here is the last chapter but don't worry, I've got the whole idea and the first chapter ready for the sequel. Hope you've enjoyed reading this and be ready for more. Thanks for all the e-mails and reviews, they've kept me encouraged through the more difficult times in my life. Love ya all.
Tainted Innocence
Chapter 10
"Who are you?" The deep gravelly voice scratched at my nerves, drawing me out of sleep. I opened my eyes to complete darkness, confused…wondering if I had just dreamed those words. They were too deep; too course to have come from a human. But the words were repeated; rushing over me like sand paper, "Who are you?" spoke in almost a whisper.
It took me a second to find my own voice, the sound of his still trying to nestle into my head. "I'm Eden," I finally forced out through uncooperative lips.
"I know your name," he rumbled from his position across the room. "I asked who you were." I suddenly felt nervous. This is the feeling I expected from him when I first met him, dark, rough, a force of power that could be felt.
I reached with shaky hands to the floor to retrieve my shirt so I could cover my naked body, laughing silently, in an insane sort of way, that just a few hours ago, Riddick had his hands all over me, was worshipping me with his lips and tongue until I could no longer hold back. The release was sweet but now I felt dirty.
Once the shirt was over my head I dared to look over at him, staying on the bed. My eyes were adjusting to the darkness and I could barely see his massive form in the gloom.
"I'm a friend of Darren's. If that's what you want to call it," I said in a bitter tone, but I could hear the nervousness in my voice and had no doubt that he could hear it as well. "He left you here to keep you safe until he could get you a transport out, which could be any…"
…there was a knock at the front door; I knew it was Darren and I knew it was over. Riddick calmly stood up and left the room. I watched him walk out, listened as he answered the door, heard Darren's voice, and wanted to kick myself in the ass for getting pulled down so deep.
There had been no doubt in my mind that this day would come; I guess on some level I was hoping it wouldn't be so soon, or that even when it did come, Riddick would want to stay. It felt like things between Riddick and myself were actually going somewhere but that's because I was in such strong denial of the inevitable outcome.
"Shit," I whispered in defeat, pulling myself out of bed and wandering slowly into the hall. The real Riddick was back; his mind was how it was before I met him.
Darren was in the living room, holding Riddick's duffle bad, Riddick nowhere to be seen. When he spotted me he smiled, an easy kind of smile.
"Hey," he said. "We'll be outta your way in a minute." He said the words carefully and quietly as if they might break me. Darren knew something was going on and he was attempting to be respectful of my sensitive situation. "I left another credit chip on the counter in the kitchen," he continued. I didn't say anything. The money didn't matter to me now; I didn't care if I had it or not.
I leaned my shoulder against the wall and crossed my arms over my chest, trying my hardest to not give a shit but who was I kidding; I allowed myself to care, I let my guard down and granted entrance into my heart to the one man the Universe feared and now he was leaving and it actually hurt.
The sting behind my eyes increased but I refused to show my tears, would not let them fall. I was stronger than that and I had my pride but what the fuck good is pride anyway? It didn't stop the ache in my chest, didn't ease any pain I was in…fuck pride.
The air around me suddenly heated up and the atmosphere seemed charged with electricity. I knew Riddick was close by, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up and a shiver ran down my spine, but I was still shocked when he walked past me…so silent…brushing against my arm. It was an all too familiar feeling, the feel of Riddick's skin against mine. My arms dropped to my sides and I struggled to breathe.
I needed his touch; I needed to feel him again because the feel of him was the same, nothing in that respect had changed. I saw what he could be; I felt it deep down inside him. With that simple brush up, I knew he was the same man I had grown fond of the past week, but it was being pushed aside, hidden away in some dark corner that was his life probably to never be seen again.
Riddick made it to Darren and Darren said something along the lines of a thank you and goodbye but I was too stunned to respond. All I wanted to do was throw my arms around Riddick and tell him to stay with me. I would protect him, take care of him…anything to not be alone, anything to keep feeling what he made me feel. The affect he was having on my life was so immense that I couldn't compare it to anything I've ever been through. I hated myself for being so weak, so vulnerable and I forced myself to stay where I was, not moving a muscle, not giving in.
Riddick was almost out the door when he stopped and turned back half way. The look in his eyes was so foreign to me, nothing of what it had been, of what I'd become accustomed to. It hit me then, memories of the other day flooded my mind. Standing in the kitchen making dinner, Riddick wrapping his strong arms around me from behind and pulling me close, kissing my neck and breathing me in.
It was so vivid, the sensation so strong, so real, I could feel it right now as we looked at each other. His image blurred as the tears forced their way through but somehow I managed a small smile, silently wishing him well…and he turned and left…and my heart broke.
I stayed where I was long after they left, the silence creeping around me, becoming so intense my ears started to ring. More than once I wanted to run to the window and watch them leave but I didn't…didn't want to see Riddick not look back, didn't want to see him keep moving forward, leaving me behind without a second thought.
Riddick didn't use me and I knew that. He was innocent in all this…unfortunately; his innocence was marred by reality. A reality full of evil and death. The things he must have done, witnessed, and endured through were more than I could ever imagine. He was strong, even if it was a different sense of strong than what most people felt. He had learned to deal with life's blows one at a time, forcing him to stow away his emotions. I had a chance to see those emotions, experience them the same time he did and it was beautiful. This was just another stop in his life and he would move on, put this past week somewhere far behind him, put me somewhere far away.
I only hoped I was able to show him that there was love out there, that there are people he could really trust and that it was okay to let people in. Maybe what he was able to experience, to discover in our week together will help him get through the tough times in his life. That he'll look back on this when he's in a rough spot and remember what we had, remember me because I will never forget.
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As the days went by I started feeling normal again or as normal as I can be anymore, but there were times when I would catch his scent and a visual of him would fill my mind, completely unwanted, and threaten to tear me down. The pain never stopped, I was just learning how to deal with it. Each memory, sound, taste, mental image, only made me stronger, only made me fight harder to keep my sanity.
It's been almost a month now since I last saw Riddick and I thought I had finally gotten over the hardest part. Things were finally easier, I was able to sleep at night, and was finally able to smile when I did smell him or remember something about him. This morning was different.
Riddick was lying heavy on my mind as soon as I woke up and it followed me everywhere. Thoughts of him were constantly buzzing around in my head. I couldn't concentrate long enough on the simplest of tasks at work because images of his hands flashed through my mind, the feel of his touch on my body, his lips and the first time he smiled.
Finally, after putting up with as much as I could, I ran to the bathroom and cried, let it all out in hopes that it would ease the pressure inside. But it didn't. It hurt and I needed him more than anything. I begged and pleaded with empty air to send him back to me but it was futile, he was gone and I needed to accept it and move on.
By the time I got home from work I was emotionally exhausted. I dragged myself through the living room, dropping my bag carelessly to the floor and kicked out of my shoes. The remote caught my eye and I picked it up remembering the time I let Riddick have free reign over the vid screen and the erotic movie he decided on. I managed a small laugh and hit the button, changing to the news just for sound and headed to the kitchen to fix some tea.
The ache in my heart never ceased, the tearing feeling inside was still there but I was becoming numb to it. I didn't even begin to understand how or why I could feel so much for someone I hardly knew. He touched my life in a way that couldn't be explained, made me see myself differently, forced me to look deeper into my life and fix what was wrong or what I didn't like. I stopped regretting everything I had done or things that happened to me. Life continued on whether or not I contributed. Everything happens for a reason, they say, but for me, I feel like I'm just a piece of sand on an endless beach just…existing.
I sipped my tea, leaning wearily against the counter when something on the news caught my attention. 'The Hunter-Gratzner, a passenger transport ship sent out an SOS some time in the middle of the night. Their distress signal was never repeated. The Hunter-Gratzner has presumably crashed somewhere between their take-off point and their destination but way off course and it was assumed there were no survivors'. They would have more details as the investigation continued.
I shook my head and closed my eyes. "Poor people," I said out loud. "Never knew what hit 'em." How would that be? Right in the middle of a cryo induced dream and never waking up. The news only added to the despair I was feeling. I put my cup down, turned off the vid screen, climbed into bed and wondered where and what Riddick was doing.
'Maybe one day I'll be more than just a piece of sand on the beach' I thought as I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the people on the Hunter-Gratzner that had lost their lives. The End