Timeline: Beginning of 2nd Season. It is after 'When She Was Bad' and
before the Halloween episode.
Pairing: X/W and B/A.
Time Line
I am unsure what should make me worry the most. The fact that I can see out both of my eyes or that I look like I did in high school. I am standing in front my mirror just looking at my face. All my battle scars are gone but I still feel empty inside. Too many years of fighting the darkness with out break has done a number on my mindscape. Well I guess it is time to dress and see what I should be ready for.
I walked in to the family room to be met by a drunken father wanting to talk about coming home late last night.
"What have a told you about being late? Are you that stupid you can't read a clock? What a waste of effort you have been. Well what did you have to say for yourself?"
I stand there looking at him. I have years of training and fighting creatures at least 3 times stronger then myself. This would be a quick combo and he would be down and out of the way. I just stand there steering at him. I watch him as he starts to get angry because I haven't either answered him or backed away in fear. He throws a punch to my jaw. I just grab it out of the air and look at him. My eyes are just boring in to him and his soul. The look of surprise on his face would be priceless if I could bring myself to care.
"Don't hit me again."
I said it to him finally. I keep his fist in my hand and start to squeeze hard on it. I see the pain forming in his eyes but I won't let go yet.
"Do you understand this? Try to hit me again and I will break this hand and your leg. Don't I repeat don't test me or push me." My voice is dead and cold. He nods his head and I let go of his fist. He rubs his hand to try and relieve the pain but never takes his eyes off me. I continue to walk towards the door, when I reach it I turn around and look at him. "See about getting mom to make a nice dinner tonight. If you hurt her I will hurt you worse. If she doesn't want to cook then I suggest you learn quickly. I want a family dinner tonight and come hell or high water it will be made by one of you." After that I turn and leave to go to school.
"That was nicely done. I was hoping for more violence or at least a wish for retribution. I guess that will have to do."
Twirling around to see Anya standing there after all these years of being dead just made my heart stop all over again.
"What did you expect? Someone turned time back and DeHoffna was both pleased to be alive again and have me back in his services. So he gave me my memories of me coming here and what happened from losing my powers, getting together with you, and up to my death fighting against the First. Just to let you know I don't care what you do to women this time around. I am not granting any of them wishes." She reaches in to her pocket and pulls out a locket like her but a little smaller. "I would suggest you wear this at all time. It will protect you against all magic and if you tap it twice I might come back to talk to you. But I would suggest getting in better shape before you call on me. Right now I doubt you would be able to satisfy me. When you think you can give me a call. You made me very happy last time and I want to relive some of it. But don't use it when you have a girlfriend or I will just hurt you myself directly. Till next time Xander." She handed him the locket and just disappeared.
I look at the locket in my hand and just smile knowing that I am not completely alone this time around. And I really need to get to the gym. The sex time with Anya was always good but demon Anya and not mad at me for the failed wedding just might be a more interesting time. I walk the rest of the way with a smile on my face that nothing could stop.
In front of the school I see Willow and Buffy talking. I run up to Willow and give her a big hug and then I let her go and hug Buffy. "So what is going on today? What day is this anyway?"
"Well Mr. Hugs a plenty it is September 18 and you better be ready for math. Test today. Other than that not much else is going on." Willow stated.
"Yeah Xan what's up with all the hugness not that I mind too much but don't do it in front of Angle. He is my boyfriend not you."
I shutter at the mention of Angle which Buffy doesn't notice but Willow catches it. I will have to tell her about it later. Maybe I might ask her out this weekend. We might be able to work this time if she never falls to the dark side. "Okay gals lets get a move on."
The rest of the day is uneventful mostly just talking about the coming weekend a few tests and the library with Giles. It is great to see him alive again let alone walking around. When Angelus resurfaced a few years ago in the future, time travel is really messing with my stories; he left Giles paralyzed from the waist down. This time none of that is going to happen. It will be better or a lot of people or going to die.
"If there is nothing else to report then I guess everyone can go. Xander can you stay for a few minutes extra? I need to talk to you about some information that might pertain to you."
I just nod and wave bye to the girls. "So G-Man what do you need?"
"It is nice to see you with 2 eyes again. But the scar on your left cheek gave you a more ruggedness look."
"How, what..."
"It would seem that you are getting a chance to do this again. I have been appointed your guide. I also know all that has been from this moment up to when you were sent back. So even the things after I died I know. You don't know how disturbing it is to see yourself die and then get buried through someone else's eyes. So any questions or do you just want to discuss game plans for the next few years?"
I just jump up and hug him tight. Trying to make up for all the things unsaid left when he died. "I love you like a father Rupert. I am sorry I never told you that. I should so many times. I always wanted to tell you but I wasn't able to."
"It is okay Xander, I have though of you and the others as my own children for years. I must thank you for giving that to me. So there are no hard feelings one way or another."
I release the hug and step away from him. "First thing is Angel. I say we tell him about the happiness clause in the curse and make sure he understands that we will kill him quickly if we find him without a soul. Second thing is for Halloween to let Ethan do the spell. I am going to dress up a little different but I want the skills and memories of my character. But after the spell is cast you need to stop it. Anything else is trying to keep Kendra alive. I just wish I could figure out what to do about Faith. I might go to Boston this coming summer and bring her here. If for some reason she does get called then we will be better set for her. She will not fall this time."
"I agree about Angel, Kendra definitely, if you're sure about Ethan then I will go along with it, and Faith was also giving her memories and is currently getting money sent to her to get a ticket and come to us. Where she will be staying with me and we can start her healing also. And if you want I have a room for you to. I am going to be getting a bigger place when she gets here. I don't think you should live with them. This time we can prevent so much damage to you and her and I want to start now."
"I already talked to my father today and I will see how it plays out the next few weeks. If not I am calling child services on him and filing reports with the police. I want to give them a chance to be good parents and maybe make something of themselves before they die. If not then I will definitely be moving in. So what else do you think we need to discuss?"
"I guess for now that covers a good start. Oz, Spike, the Judge, and Acatchal will be handled as they come up. I would like to try and stop Oz from being bitten but I don't know how to with out getting strange looks from him. Willow, what are you going to be doing about Willow?"
"I am not sure fully. I think I might try and build a new relationship with her. It was great before the fall. I think I would like it more this time and appreciate her better. After that I will just have to see how it goes. Oh and Anyanka paid me a visit earlier. She gave me a luck charm and I guess a blessing as best the Patron Saint of Scorned Women can."
"She really did. I guess you affect her now like you have then. Just don't be stupid this time. We'll talk later. I needed to get home and prepare for the coming of Faith. She was given some of her memories. Coming here and being a slayer, her fall to evil and her return to the light. What happened between you two was not shown to her but she was given my number and to call if she wants to change what happens to her from this moment on."
"Thanks Giles. Well I need to get going. I got homework to do and a dinner to have. I will see Angel tomorrow and you should probably talk to Jenny about his curse to. At least this time don't take so long to start dating. She would have been great for you." With that I leave the library and head to the house. I will call Willow after dinner and ask her out for Friday.
I get home after 5 and my mom is in the kitchen cooking a nice meal. My father is just sitting in the family room for the most part sober. I would say a little hung over but sober none the less. He looks at me and points to the kitchen. I head in and talk to mom. "So did dad give you any trouble about dinner?"
"No he just asked if I would make some dinner tonight please. I said okay. No threats no violence. He just asked and said to make sure I told you he did it politely. Did I miss something while I was at work? Is someone dieing that I don't know about? Why is he just about scared that when you get home you won't be happy about something?"
"I will tell you over dinner." I give her a kiss on her cheek and head back to the family to talk to him. "I am very proud of you father. Here is what we are going to do, you are going to clean about and get a steady job. You are going to help out mom around the house and the both of you are giving up drinking. I would suggest you go along with this plan. The other option lands you in jail for assault and other things and after Social Service is through with you. I want a family father. I want to be able to come home and tell you about my day and to have you actually care. I want to hear about yours and mom's day with out a fight. If you think you can do this start now. If not let me know so I can make a few phone calls. See you at dinner." I head up to my room to start some homework and prepare for the next few days of the decisions I need to make.
I come down later for dinner and tell mom about what I would like to have happen and what will happen if it can't be followed by both her and dad. She is happy about being a family but stills want to have the drinks. Looks from me and her husband convince her not to push her luck about it. She really doesn't need the drink any ways. So this is how it starts for now. Dad is going to get a better more steady job and they are going to clean up. Life this time is starting to look good. I call Willow and ask her out for a real date this Friday and she started asking if the Hellmouth was opening or something along those lines. I say if she doesn't want to then I can ask someone else. She is very quick to accept and wants to know what we are going to do. I tell her a nice Italian dinner and of course dancing at the Bronze. Just the two of us together for the night enjoying each others company. Baring Hellmouth activities of course.
The rest of the year went great. Highlights are; Angel never loses his soul, Jenny lives, Oz never becomes a werewolf, my Gohan custom from Ethan's gave me some great fighting abilities and some basic Ki attacks. Nothing Earth threatens but really deadly to vampires and demons. Of course that does leave the bad things; Joyce knows about her daughter's night activities, Kendra still dies at the hands of Drusilla while they were trying to open Acthalla. We managed to dust Dru and Spike afterwards. Oh I ended up in hell for the summer. It looks like Dru in her infinite insanity was able to figure out the key. And the white knight will open and close the door. No matter what I do some vamp is calling me the white night. I just remember being in pain for hundreds of years. Then a portal open below and I fell through. I fell on a cold hard floor and looked around trying to figure out what happened. I crawled on the floor till my hand smacked on the locket Anya game in. It looks like it was just placed there. I gave it to Willow while she was in the hospital before I left to kill Dru and Spike. How did it get here? Where is here? Why am I so cold? I tap the locket a few times to try and get help from Anya. Sure enough she shows up with some clothes for me. You have just got to love her.
"Well it is about time you called. I have been so bored waiting for you to ask for help. Even with all the curses I have dished out in the past year I still wanted to see when you would call. Well it looks like physical you could last long enough but now you have a girlfriend so I guess I will have to find some other way to have you pay me back."
I just stare at her. I can't focus on anyone thing. I am still trying to process what happened. I guess I got out of hell like Angel did but I can't move to well. I don't have vamp healing to speed up the process. Anya moves towards me and puts the locket around my neck and I start to feel better. Like my healing has been kicked in to over drive.
"Yes it also heals you and keeps you healthy. I don't think it could replace an eye so try and stay clear of Caleb this time around. Well if you want I can dress you or you can wait till you heal up some more. It won't take much longer. Also while you wear that I have an empathic bond with you. I can feel you confusion and the pain you are in. I can also feel the pain going away. I am so glad you have it back. I was unable to stand feeling the love and sadness from Willow all summer long missing you and never thinking you were coming back. She left it here to say good bye and try to move on this year. I suggest you get up and dressed fast if you want to keep her. She really likes that Oz person. To quiet for me but with her and talking someone that will just listens works for her. Well I am done her. Remember you owe and I will collect later from you one way or another."
I just stare and try to say good bye as she disappears. I crawl towards the pile of clothes and start to dress myself. I can finally move around a bit but talking is still causing me problems. I guess screaming for months on end never stopping will cause some problems later on. I stand and start to walk out of the mansion and head towards the school. I figure one way or another it is going to be the best place for me to get help. I stumble my way through the streets but eventually I get to the school. The doors are not lock and I head towards the library. I can hear the voices of my friends there talking about the nights plan and what they are going to be doing later. I open the doors and everyone looks towards me. Buffy and Faith stare while they get their stakes ready to defend if need be. Giles and Jenny just stare at me with tears brimming but not falling from their eyes. Oz looks like Oz. Just staring and taking notes. Cordy doesn't know what to say or do. Willow looks at me with tears falling and high hopes. I just smile and she launches towards me faster then I have ever seen Buffy or Kendra move. I am knocked to the ground by a blur of red hair but I still can not tell her I love her and missed her. She just hugs me as my face starts to turn blue from lack of oxygen.
"Well it looks like he is alive for now if Willow doesn't let up soon," Faith comments.
"I couldn't agree more. Of course once she moves it is my turn so no cuts."
"No probs B. I can wait. But I am so before G and J over there."
"He is mine and you can shake his hand but hugs are all mine till I say different right Xan?"
I just nod to Willow as we start to stand up. I walk over to the rest of the group with my new shadow and do the standard meet and greet. Everyone just continues to look at me waiting for something. Then it hits me. I haven't sad a word since getting out of hell. I write down on paper that I can't speak at the moment. I am unsure why but I hope it is just because I need time to heal me throat and such. I try to convey some form of comfort. It is getting late and I want to go home and to bed. I write it down and Willow looks at me with concern and worry.
"Xan your parents moved. They thought you died and they couldn't stand to stay in the town that caused their son's death. Well we all though you died or at least you weren't coming back to us. I was just there were Acthalla stood and left your pendant. I was just saying good bye. After the summer of you being gone I needed to get on with my life. I am sorry I gave.," At this point she couldn't hold it in as she buried her head in my chest and cried out the pain of losing me and admitting that I wasn't coming back. "I am so sorry I gave up on you. With you being in Hell and no way of knowing if you could come back. Oh god, please forgive me. I need you here with me. Now that your back I don't want you to leave me again."
I rub her back and try telling her I am staying with her but I can't talk. So I just hold her and nod me head. Giles and Jenny ask if I want to stay at their house tonight. I was about to comment when a very strong voice spoke.
"He is staying at my place tonight. Later we can figure it out but tonight he is with me."
I left up her head and kiss her lips and just smile. I want to be with her more then anything else. The decision is made and Willow and I head back to her house and everyone else continues with their plans. At the house I undress and crawl into bed in just boxers. My Wills strips down to bra and panties. I just stare. I have never seen this much of Willow since the start over and she looks gorgeous. She is just pure beauty and gorgeousness. She crawls in to bed next to me. She wraps one arm around my chest and puts her head on my shoulder.
"I love you. Don't ever leave me again."
I kiss her forward and pull her even closer to me. We fall asleep in each others embrace and felt sorry for the fool that would try and separate us till we woke up.
In the morning I realize two things. I am not burning and I have never been this aroused in my life. I look down to the head the caused the second issue and just smile and kiss the crown of her head. I crawl out of her embrace and head to take a shower. I don't remember the last one I took but I am sure only a woman that loves me as much as Willow could be that close to me when even I knew I didn't smell that good. I feel the pendant around my neck as I start my shower. I hold on to it and think of thanks and happiness to Anya for all that she has done for me. I felt a cold blast of air and turn around to see Willow getting in the shower.
"Xan you stink and I are sure it is both of us now so I guess I have to take a shower also. And with the whole water conservation going around I figured this would be the best way. So can you hand me the soap and I will get your back."
If I thought bar and panties Willow was gorgeous wet and shower Willow is just too hot to handle. I hand her the soap and turn around so she can wash me. I hear a gasp and turn back towards her and she looks at me with a pain, sorrow, and anger. I look at her not understanding what it is. She twirls me around and I feel her fingers trace lines down my back. She keeps making a zigzag pattern till I figure out she is tracing the lash marks on my back. I forgot all about them. They only did that constantly for a couple of years. After so much time you can forget what they did and start to think maybe you dreamed it. I guess that was just a nightmare that did happen. What else was done to me that I no longer remember? Right now I don't want to think about it. Just enjoy a shower. I turn back to her and motion to the door to see if she wants to leave. I wouldn't be hurt is she can't stand to see them. She looks at me and shakes her head no and jumps in for another hug. I hold her and let the water just wash over us. Eventually we soap up and risen off. We get out of the shower and towel off. I head over to the full length mirror and start going over my body inch by inch to try and find any other scars that I can see. This way I can try and hide them the best I can. I notice a small scar in my neck. I trace my finger over it and try to remember what happened. Willow walks over to me and traces the scar also. As her nails scrapes across it I am hit with the memory of it. ~Flashback~
"It is that annoying voice of yours that is pissing me off the most. All the times you yelled look out to your friends to prevent my minions from killing them. The world would be over some many different ways if you could have kept your mouth shut. Well I will take care of your voice no problem. I am just glad they you are alive here. If you were just a condemned soul this would only last till you could be free. But this is flesh and blood and can not be undone without help for powers higher then your current friends could ever hope to get." The demons hand came to my neck and with a clawed finger slits down my throat as I scream and try to get away from it. Then my screaming stops but not my trying to. He looks down at me smiles. "Just to show there are no hard feelings," he closes the slit and heals the wound. "There you go, good as quiet." ~End Flashback~
I stand there tears running down my face and cry. Never to tell Willow how much I love her and how much she means to me, to just say her name and tell a joke. I lose all strength in my legs and collapse on the floor. I curl in a fetal position and cry as Willow just holds on to me crying also. Times goes by and we are both cold from being air dried and naked. We stand up and I walk over to the dresser. She stills has some of my clothes. I get dress and sit down and the computer. I start typing a long note about what I can remember for a couple hundred years of pain and torture. What the demon did to me neck and why I can't talk. I ask her what she wants to do now and that I am going to go out for awhile. I will be back later I just need to get some time alone. I present the screen to her and as she reads I leave and walk to the park to sit and just enjoy the sunshine.
"I am sorry Xan. I can't do anything for you either. I want to but this is not in my realm of possible. That demon was high on the scale and only a whitelighter or higher could maybe heal you but they wouldn't come near for fear of what would happen to their charges if they did. It would bring the demons out of the wood works. You might be able to talk then but they wouldn't last a month. I know you Xan and that fact alone will stop you from trying. You will not sacrifice them for you. I am sorry." Anya stands and starts to walk away, she stops and turns around, "Your debt is paid. I am sorry for your lose. Please don't give up now. Later Xan." She turns and disappears.
I am left alone in thought. I don't know what to do. I won't be able to go in to construction or anything else. For the moment I don't have a purpose in my life. I can't keep Willow any longer. I can't give her a good future. Most likely they will try more then ever to get him out of the fight. He can't help them. He can't do anything. He is just useless weight like always. This was supposed to be a big chance to improve everyone's life. Willow will not fall to the dark side; Buffy will live healthy and long, Faith won't fall and will be a great slayer like Buffy, Giles will have a good family with his adoptive kids and Jenny, Oz won't have to ever worry about becoming a werewolf, and Angel will never become Angelus saving lives and stopping so much evil. All it cost him was his voice. The ability to make people laugh and not worry about the hard times as much. I guess I should have none there would have been a price. I just didn't know it was this high.
"Don't sweat it kid. The changes you have done will last the rest of there lives. You saved them from a fate they never new existed." The comment comes for a poorly dressed man in a brimmed hat. "Names Whistler, I get orders from the PTBs to help out the champions and now their White Knight. Just think kid you are then only person to ever be termed that through them. Good job on saving the world."
I just stare at him. I can't really say anything and I don't really want to hear him talk about it. I get up to stand and walk away. He grabs my arm and I feel electricity running through it and raveling up my arm to my head. The pain in instant and I pull my arm away and swing with my other arm knocking him back 10 feet. I can feel myself power up to attack again. I move towards him as he starts to moves his hands in gestures that for some reason I understand.
(I had to give you the gift so you wouldn't feel completely useless. We still need you fighting and don't have the time to learn them. So we gave you knowledge of all forms of sign. Any ever used by human and a few commonly used among demons. That is one gift among of few others for your situation. Anya was right, someone really high could heal you but since you were in Hell there are more rules about it. Sorry.) After that Whistler just disappears.
I power down trying to figure out what he was talking about. It hits me that I have more power to control then before. I can feel it flowing through me. I might almost be a Super Sayian level. Right now that does little for me outlook of life but I can definitely do more with out having to riley on the others. I think about it for a moment and then head off in to the woods for a little privacy. I power up again and really concentrate on bringing in as much power to find my max and what I need to work it higher. I close my eyes and concentrate. I feel so light that if a strong breeze comes by I would probably float away. When I open my eyes I notice that I am looking at treetops. I look down and I am flying. Downfall I lose concentration and start to fall to the ground. I think hard and point energy against the Earth and stop the fall and begin to rise up. With a little more practice and can do this with out all the hard thinking about it. Now this changes my mood for the better. I land and take off towards Willows. I notice just how fast I am running and see that the gifts I was given would help me in the long run.
I walk towards the house and head upstairs to see Willow and try and talk to her about everything. I walk in to her room and I find myself tackled again by a blur of red that is crying and squeezing tightly.
"I am not letting you leave me. I don't care whether you can talk or not. I want you in my life and I will not let you go if you think your voice is the only thing I love about you. Do you get me?" A crying Willow says with a very, very strong resolve face.
I look at her and give her a kiss on the lips. I feel the electricity go into her but she just pulls back in shock. We stand up and I sign to her. (This is a gift from the PTBs. They want to make sure I could talk or at least speak to people.)
(I can understand that. I can sign to. It seems they want to make sure you can talk to me also. So there even the Powers what us together so no more about no wanting you one way or another. You get me?)
(No probs Wills. Let's head to Giles and start getting all this sorted. And I have a few other tricks to show you tonight.) I sign with a smirk on my face.
(Gotcha. I love you.)
(Love you to.)
We head over to Giles after Willow calls to make sure that they around and see if they can get the rest of the group together. We get there and Giles ushers us in to the family room where Faith was already sitting and tells us everyone else is on the way. So we just kind of sit there in silence. They both look at me expecting to say some joke or make a G-Man comment. Eventually Buffy, Oz, Cordy, and a slightly Smoking Angel arrive and take seats. We all just sit around in a circle everyone just staring at me. I sign to Willow and to ask everyone to hold hands in a circle. The look of shock on everyone's face is something that brings a smile to my face. So there they are holding hands. I hold on to Willow's and Buff's and again I feel the electricity leave my body and see the shock on everyone's face as it hits them. I let go and so does everyone else.
(Can you understand this?)
I group of signed yes comes back at me. I just smirk and start to tell the story of Whistler and my day at the park including my new powers and strengths but the power of flight I leave out. That is for my Willow first and then the rest of the group. I tell them if they want they can talk normal. They just need the knowledge so they can understand me. They all nod yes and start talking with out noticing they are still doing sign. I hope it can be control so I don't worry about they yelling to me during a fight and still. At this point we stand up and Angel falls over unconscious on the floor. I rush over to him with Buffy and pick him up and set him down on the couch. All of a sudden he opens his eyes and takes in a big breath, a breath that he needs since he is alive again. He looks at me stunned.
"How did you do it? I am alive. I can feel my heartbeat. It is beating and it hurts a little. Lack of use I guess. But how did you do it?
(Couldn't tell you buddy. I don't have that kind of power.)
"You're half right kid. You don't have the power but the gift you passed to him can't be given to vampires. So since that can be resolved he was made alive again. So try and keep him safe. He is as human as the rest of you." Whistler says as he walks down the stairs and out the door.
Buffy just stares at me and Angel and jumps on him and kisses him over and over while getting a bit more adventuress in her hand placement.
"B are you sure you want to continue that here?"
"Yes Buffy I think it best to move the congratulation party to a more private atmosphere."
We just stare at him trying to figure out what he said.
"Bloody Americans, get a room you two," was he reply in a less then proper English accent.
Buffy blushes and stands up and helps Angel stand as well. They walk out in to the sunlight to see what could be. They rest leave also except Faith. Willow and I stay behind and I explain to Giles and Jenny what happened to me in Hell and why I can not talk for what looks like the rest of my life. I cry a little for my lost as well does Jenny and a few tears from Giles.
(Thanks you for everything father,) I sign to Giles.
The shocked look on his face is worth to just be able to tell him one way.
"Of course son, I am always here for you and the rest of my kids. I wish they were still around for this but that can't be helped." He turns to Jenny and holds her hand and gets on one knee, "Jenny Calendar will you marry me?"
The shock of the question leaves her stunned for a moment and she just nods her head yes. Giles stands of wraps her in his arms and tells her he loves her. Faith and us just sit back and smile. I stand up and go over to the two an embrace them both in a hug.
(So do I call you mom or what?) I sign with a smirk on my face.
Faith adds in "I would like to call you mom also if you don't mind. The one I had already pales in comparison to you. And with Giles as my dad I think this can actually be a family I want to come home to. Of course with a brother like X I might still be late but that can't be helped."
"Faith, you and Xander can call me mom all you want. The love I have for you two already makes you my kids. Thanks for the gift of family. So Rupert when do you think we should do this. I say tomorrow but you are a bit to stuffy to do things my way." Jenny says with a loving smile.
"Quite right tomorrow is definitely too soon. That is not the English way. Next weekend after we all have the chance to get new outfits and rent tuxes is a much better time frame. I don't think I could wait much longer to have you forever. Xander can you be my best man, I figure of the lot you are that and more."
Now it is my turn to be stunned. I nod a yes. I look over to Faith and invite her to the hug of this family.
Jenny then says to Faith, "Get over her and join the hug. Of course this is going to make you the maid of honor. I think my daughter should be by my side as much as possible."
Faith leaps in to the hug and squeezes everyone to the point of to much but she is unable to let go. She then pears to Willow as she stands there looking at the group. "You joining us or just standing there. If you are not already my sister you will probably be my sister in law in time."
With that Willow jumps in to the groups closes to me and I just feel the love of this group and cry. My family life did improve over the last year but the amount of love shown here was more then I think my real parents were able to. I will miss them I must let the go to hopefully live their lives together and find happiness.
We all break away from the group hug and sit down to discuss the wedding, telling everyone else, and what to do about the Mayor this time around. The outlook is good and except for school on Monday and catching up all that I missed and decided what else I need to do to prepare my life. Giles still has an empty room that we can get a bed for and go shopping over the week to replace lost clothes. Willow can hack the system to get me enrolled for classes and sign me up for make test to cover what I missed while in Hell. It is very late at night when we break up and I am going to walk Willow home. Faith asks if she wants me to come with. I tell her no but tomorrow we are going to stop by Willy's to see if any big bads have shown up that need to be taken care of. With that we leave.
"Xan what else did you want to show me? You said later when it is dark and I was wondering what it could be. I was also hoping you would stay the night and kind of celebrate the new found gifts or just you know have sex."
I think when I feel over Willow just started laughing but it sounded like gold to me. I haven't heard her laugh so care free since I got back. I missed it so much in Hell. I also wish I didn't have to remember Hell and all it had stolen from me. (Don't do that to me Willow I might now be able to handle it right now.)
"I don't need you to handle it, just me. I will handle it for you, trust me. I love you Xan."
I stand up and bring her into my arms. I give her a gentle kiss and I start to lift off the ground. She doesn't notice that yet so caught up in the passion of the kiss.
"Goddess Xan I feel so light and giddy. What did you put in that kiss?" She asks with a smile of pure sunshine.
I point down and she looks and screams in panic. I hold her tighter and try to convey comfort. She looks it me and asks is this the thing. I nod yes and fly off to the house. We reach her house and go in through the balcony window. We both just look at each other as we undress. She wraps her self around me and we both head off to bed and the rest of our lives.
Getting back to school for Monday and getting classes for the non- speaking was easier then I though about it. My friends still hang around me a bit much for support but with Willow and my family at home I feel more stable with love then in the past years. Angel has gotten a job owning a magic shop. Willow was able to set him up with a Social Security number and a fake birth certificate. Well, at least well enough for this town. Willow is going to try to set him up in the federal computer but that is going to take a bit more skill then she has. Giles is going to be pulling in favors from to council to set it up. The new Mr. and Mrs. Giles are happily on there honeymoon leavening Faith and I at the house with Joyce stopping over it seems like every few hours to make sure we are alright. After two days Faith went over to Joyce's house and stayed the rest of the time there while I went back to Willows and stayed there. Her parents are both okay with us since they have known me since kindergarten but we are still carefully not to betray the trust. I am hoping for a great third year and an even greater time.
As for the Mayor we decided to get rid of the box of demons since grawhatever is too heard to remember how to pronounce. With Faith now on the good fight all the time things are a bit easier. It seems even Kakistos should up to prove what a great Master Vampire he is by killing the two slayers. It seems two slayer, two witches, one former vampire with the strength and speed of one, and one almost Super Sayian were a bit more then him. Of course cockroaches probably had a longer life then he did once he walked in to SunnyDale. Faith was more then itching to get revenge for a watcher she never had and was still pretty much alive. The slayers and I sat down Giles and talked about Buffy's 18th birthday. We agreed the best way is to go by full council rules and with me running back up so it seems she did it all by herself she was able to pass the BS of it and Giles did not lose his job. Apparently while all this was going on for my 18th birthday I was presented with papers saying that even though I was an adult, Rupert and Jenny Giles are now my legal guardians. Faith got hers on her 17th birthday. So now officially we are one big family with a few extras perks. I call Giles and Jenny mom and dad all the time now. The call me son and I don't think I ever want any of it to change.
The nightmares of Hell seem to have gotten better. Most night I can just lay back down others I find my self out side training. When it gets really bad I call Wills and hit the pound key twice so she knows I am heading her way. We fall asleep in each others arms and she is able to chase the nightmares away. Giles has asked about maybe going to some therapy but I need a doctor that can sign and keep of with the spend I use when I ramble on about what happen. Not to mention little facts about saying I was in Hell not just living like I was. We try the best we can. I talk about it to Willow and Giles. They feel sad for me but I have found it is all getting better and I thank God for most of it. The gifts I was given on my return has really helped save lives and prevent problems. I was able to blast the Hellmouth beast as it tried to enter this world. I also eliminated Jack and his cronies before the cake in the basement ever became a problem that night. Cordy this year is doing good. Since she never fell for me she was able to retain her status but still lost everything when the IRS collected from her father. I still bough her prom dress and she still looked good in it. Anya even swung by for the prom and after talking to Willow about it I danced with her for a song and kissed her good bye. Before she left she walked over to Cordy and said don't you wish your father paid his taxes ever year like he was suppose to. Cordy said yes I wish he did. Anya just nodded and left the school.
When Cordy walked outside to leave she hopped in the limo she came in and wished everyone else a goodnight. We and Willow retreated back to a fancy hotel that Giles surprising enough got for us. I am sure Jenny convinced him and with everything Willow has done for me it seems this was his thank you. When we got there we found a card on the bed the read have fun but I don't want to be a grandfather yet. There were a couple condoms in the envelope and Will and I both fell over laughing. Well she was laughing I guess the best way to describe it was that my chest will vibrate. Not really strong but you can feel it and brings a smile to Willow's face when she hugs me. We spent the rest of the night in each others arms and used up the condoms given to us and a few we brought ourselves. We woke up the next morning to Giles calling and saying we do have the room for the weekend and there was no need to rush home or anything. We just smiled at each other and went back to sleep holding each other.
After that long weekend of togetherness and love we came back to my house to see Faith, Jenny, and Rupert just smiling at us.
(You got us the room dad, and thanks for that. So family what is going on today.)
"Well son it seems there is something Hellmouthy afoot that needs to be talked about."
It was Jenny hitting him that made Faith start to laugh. "Rupert just get on with it and I don't need the Xander comment thank you."
"Alright my beloved wife, Xander it seems that in 7-8 months you are going to be brother to a little boy or girl." Giles said with the biggest proudest smile I think I could ever hope to see.
I run and pick up Jenny in a hug and shake Giles hand. Willow joins me in the hug and so does Faith. Giles also gets in this hug and we stand there again holding each other and conveying such great love of each other that nothing could ruin this moment.
"So other then sex what else did you and Willow do?" commented Faith.
With that we broke apart and looked at her. Willow was beat red and I was just staring at her.
"What I can smell it from here. Damn Xan maybe instead of brother you can dump Red and pick me up. How about it?"
(Sorry Faith but she is the only one for me. I couldn't leave her even if I wanted to. And since I will never want to leave her she is stuck with me for a very long time. So no more comments like that thank you. I don't want her to think I can't be trusted when she isn't watching me.)
"Fine but it would have been great."
"Trust me Faith you don't want to get between us. I don't like people messing with my stuff," was all Willow said but the underlining threat could be heard all around.
Faith took a step back held up her hands "Don't worry Red your boytoy is safe from me. I am just making fun okay."
"No probs Faith. You are a sister to me and I am glad to be apart of your family."
"Now that is all cleared up lets get ready for school on Monday and the end of the year," was the Giles comment of the day.
We all sat down and talked about what to do after graduation now that the Mayor wasn't a problem. It was at this moment that a voice broke it that was both familiar and not all that welcomed.
"Kid I am going to need to talk to you about that. You to Red since it going to concern you both," Whistler then turned around and walked out the door waiting for them.
As they walked together holding hands Whistler just smiled at them. "Okay here is the thing with Angel alive someone needs to go to LA to take care of issues and plans there. That is now you and her. UCLA is looking forward to having you in the mute classes and you are also going to be working to help kids learn sign also. As for you Red you can do what you want. Xan has to go and I am assuming you would head there also. UCLA does have some great classes for you and your witchcraft. Just be careful not to fall to the darker side of it. I am sorry to have to do and say this but with out Angel going there we need a powerful champion to fight. You are it. Buffy isn't meant to leave the Hellmouth just yet and Faith has to finish high school and grow up a little more. Now you can turn this down and not go and stay here. In the end we can't make you and taking away the gifts will hurt us more in the long run. Of course if you don't do all the death of innocents and lack of someone there to stop end of world things wouldn't work to well for us either. So we are asking. Go and we will help set you up. Stay and condemn thousands maybe more to painful deaths and to their own personal Hell. So what about it White Knight, what are you going to do?"
I punch him hard and knocked him down. He doesn't seem to surprise but keeps looking at me waiting for my answer. (Of course I am going to fucking do it. What else do you expect? And if you ever use my Hell memories to manipulate me again I will fucking kill you were you stand you get me.) I sign to him with a very angry look and presence to me.
"Good. Well then I will leave you two," He stands and walks away.
Willow wraps me up in a hug as a start to cry. Remembering Hell isn't that bad but to think if I don't do something other people can suffer that also just brings more pain to me then I can handle. It is when Faith and my parents walk out and hug me as a cry that I can stop and head back inside. I tell them all what has happened and what I have to do after graduation. I ask Willow if she wants to come with me also. I try and tell her I can do it with out her so she doesn't need to do it if she feels like she has no choice. I don't want her to feel trapped with me. It was the look of anger staring at me that shook me a bit.
(What the hell are you talking about? I can stay here if I want. You said it earlier. You couldn't leave me if you wanted to. I can't leave you either. I will be going. I will have to go over the UCLA stuff to see what classes to take but you ever do that again to me and I swear you will suffer. I am not here for you as long as everything is smiles and sunshine. I have held while you cried to sleep and other times when the nightmares got too much. When your friends died from some nameless vampire, I am not leavening now bucko so you better rethink how you ask me questions like that again.) The speed she did the signing showed it was meant for me. The others could catch words but most of what she said was lost to them. I stood up and gather her in my arm as I held on and cried for what little freedom I hope to have after high school was being taken away from me. Not by an evil power or by God herself. But by my sense of what is right and trying to save and protect the innocent.
"I am proud of you my son. I will help you in anyway possible."
"You know Xan. In a few years I will be heading to LA to fight by your side. With Angel, Buffy, Giles, and Jenny here for I am sure I will be able to leave here."
"Yes Xander we will all be there for you. I might not be fighting but anything you need just ask and I will do my best to get it. You are my son. I did not give birth to you but if the little one I have turns out half as well then I know I have done a great job as a mom to it. You have saved us all Xander. It also seems that you have saved some of us from ourselves." Jenny says as she looks to Giles.
I just stare at Giles waiting.
"What do you think, she is my wife and it isn't proper to not tell her more of what we know and how we know it."
(Works for me dad. Mom, Faith thanks for being there for me. I don't think I could have done all this with out my family.) We sit down and discuss the rest of the school year and what to do next year for college. I am still going on my summer trip but with the nicer car Giles has provided for me I am definitely going to be making it further and hopefully out of this state.
The End For Now
Time Line
I am unsure what should make me worry the most. The fact that I can see out both of my eyes or that I look like I did in high school. I am standing in front my mirror just looking at my face. All my battle scars are gone but I still feel empty inside. Too many years of fighting the darkness with out break has done a number on my mindscape. Well I guess it is time to dress and see what I should be ready for.
I walked in to the family room to be met by a drunken father wanting to talk about coming home late last night.
"What have a told you about being late? Are you that stupid you can't read a clock? What a waste of effort you have been. Well what did you have to say for yourself?"
I stand there looking at him. I have years of training and fighting creatures at least 3 times stronger then myself. This would be a quick combo and he would be down and out of the way. I just stand there steering at him. I watch him as he starts to get angry because I haven't either answered him or backed away in fear. He throws a punch to my jaw. I just grab it out of the air and look at him. My eyes are just boring in to him and his soul. The look of surprise on his face would be priceless if I could bring myself to care.
"Don't hit me again."
I said it to him finally. I keep his fist in my hand and start to squeeze hard on it. I see the pain forming in his eyes but I won't let go yet.
"Do you understand this? Try to hit me again and I will break this hand and your leg. Don't I repeat don't test me or push me." My voice is dead and cold. He nods his head and I let go of his fist. He rubs his hand to try and relieve the pain but never takes his eyes off me. I continue to walk towards the door, when I reach it I turn around and look at him. "See about getting mom to make a nice dinner tonight. If you hurt her I will hurt you worse. If she doesn't want to cook then I suggest you learn quickly. I want a family dinner tonight and come hell or high water it will be made by one of you." After that I turn and leave to go to school.
"That was nicely done. I was hoping for more violence or at least a wish for retribution. I guess that will have to do."
Twirling around to see Anya standing there after all these years of being dead just made my heart stop all over again.
"What did you expect? Someone turned time back and DeHoffna was both pleased to be alive again and have me back in his services. So he gave me my memories of me coming here and what happened from losing my powers, getting together with you, and up to my death fighting against the First. Just to let you know I don't care what you do to women this time around. I am not granting any of them wishes." She reaches in to her pocket and pulls out a locket like her but a little smaller. "I would suggest you wear this at all time. It will protect you against all magic and if you tap it twice I might come back to talk to you. But I would suggest getting in better shape before you call on me. Right now I doubt you would be able to satisfy me. When you think you can give me a call. You made me very happy last time and I want to relive some of it. But don't use it when you have a girlfriend or I will just hurt you myself directly. Till next time Xander." She handed him the locket and just disappeared.
I look at the locket in my hand and just smile knowing that I am not completely alone this time around. And I really need to get to the gym. The sex time with Anya was always good but demon Anya and not mad at me for the failed wedding just might be a more interesting time. I walk the rest of the way with a smile on my face that nothing could stop.
In front of the school I see Willow and Buffy talking. I run up to Willow and give her a big hug and then I let her go and hug Buffy. "So what is going on today? What day is this anyway?"
"Well Mr. Hugs a plenty it is September 18 and you better be ready for math. Test today. Other than that not much else is going on." Willow stated.
"Yeah Xan what's up with all the hugness not that I mind too much but don't do it in front of Angle. He is my boyfriend not you."
I shutter at the mention of Angle which Buffy doesn't notice but Willow catches it. I will have to tell her about it later. Maybe I might ask her out this weekend. We might be able to work this time if she never falls to the dark side. "Okay gals lets get a move on."
The rest of the day is uneventful mostly just talking about the coming weekend a few tests and the library with Giles. It is great to see him alive again let alone walking around. When Angelus resurfaced a few years ago in the future, time travel is really messing with my stories; he left Giles paralyzed from the waist down. This time none of that is going to happen. It will be better or a lot of people or going to die.
"If there is nothing else to report then I guess everyone can go. Xander can you stay for a few minutes extra? I need to talk to you about some information that might pertain to you."
I just nod and wave bye to the girls. "So G-Man what do you need?"
"It is nice to see you with 2 eyes again. But the scar on your left cheek gave you a more ruggedness look."
"How, what..."
"It would seem that you are getting a chance to do this again. I have been appointed your guide. I also know all that has been from this moment up to when you were sent back. So even the things after I died I know. You don't know how disturbing it is to see yourself die and then get buried through someone else's eyes. So any questions or do you just want to discuss game plans for the next few years?"
I just jump up and hug him tight. Trying to make up for all the things unsaid left when he died. "I love you like a father Rupert. I am sorry I never told you that. I should so many times. I always wanted to tell you but I wasn't able to."
"It is okay Xander, I have though of you and the others as my own children for years. I must thank you for giving that to me. So there are no hard feelings one way or another."
I release the hug and step away from him. "First thing is Angel. I say we tell him about the happiness clause in the curse and make sure he understands that we will kill him quickly if we find him without a soul. Second thing is for Halloween to let Ethan do the spell. I am going to dress up a little different but I want the skills and memories of my character. But after the spell is cast you need to stop it. Anything else is trying to keep Kendra alive. I just wish I could figure out what to do about Faith. I might go to Boston this coming summer and bring her here. If for some reason she does get called then we will be better set for her. She will not fall this time."
"I agree about Angel, Kendra definitely, if you're sure about Ethan then I will go along with it, and Faith was also giving her memories and is currently getting money sent to her to get a ticket and come to us. Where she will be staying with me and we can start her healing also. And if you want I have a room for you to. I am going to be getting a bigger place when she gets here. I don't think you should live with them. This time we can prevent so much damage to you and her and I want to start now."
"I already talked to my father today and I will see how it plays out the next few weeks. If not I am calling child services on him and filing reports with the police. I want to give them a chance to be good parents and maybe make something of themselves before they die. If not then I will definitely be moving in. So what else do you think we need to discuss?"
"I guess for now that covers a good start. Oz, Spike, the Judge, and Acatchal will be handled as they come up. I would like to try and stop Oz from being bitten but I don't know how to with out getting strange looks from him. Willow, what are you going to be doing about Willow?"
"I am not sure fully. I think I might try and build a new relationship with her. It was great before the fall. I think I would like it more this time and appreciate her better. After that I will just have to see how it goes. Oh and Anyanka paid me a visit earlier. She gave me a luck charm and I guess a blessing as best the Patron Saint of Scorned Women can."
"She really did. I guess you affect her now like you have then. Just don't be stupid this time. We'll talk later. I needed to get home and prepare for the coming of Faith. She was given some of her memories. Coming here and being a slayer, her fall to evil and her return to the light. What happened between you two was not shown to her but she was given my number and to call if she wants to change what happens to her from this moment on."
"Thanks Giles. Well I need to get going. I got homework to do and a dinner to have. I will see Angel tomorrow and you should probably talk to Jenny about his curse to. At least this time don't take so long to start dating. She would have been great for you." With that I leave the library and head to the house. I will call Willow after dinner and ask her out for Friday.
I get home after 5 and my mom is in the kitchen cooking a nice meal. My father is just sitting in the family room for the most part sober. I would say a little hung over but sober none the less. He looks at me and points to the kitchen. I head in and talk to mom. "So did dad give you any trouble about dinner?"
"No he just asked if I would make some dinner tonight please. I said okay. No threats no violence. He just asked and said to make sure I told you he did it politely. Did I miss something while I was at work? Is someone dieing that I don't know about? Why is he just about scared that when you get home you won't be happy about something?"
"I will tell you over dinner." I give her a kiss on her cheek and head back to the family to talk to him. "I am very proud of you father. Here is what we are going to do, you are going to clean about and get a steady job. You are going to help out mom around the house and the both of you are giving up drinking. I would suggest you go along with this plan. The other option lands you in jail for assault and other things and after Social Service is through with you. I want a family father. I want to be able to come home and tell you about my day and to have you actually care. I want to hear about yours and mom's day with out a fight. If you think you can do this start now. If not let me know so I can make a few phone calls. See you at dinner." I head up to my room to start some homework and prepare for the next few days of the decisions I need to make.
I come down later for dinner and tell mom about what I would like to have happen and what will happen if it can't be followed by both her and dad. She is happy about being a family but stills want to have the drinks. Looks from me and her husband convince her not to push her luck about it. She really doesn't need the drink any ways. So this is how it starts for now. Dad is going to get a better more steady job and they are going to clean up. Life this time is starting to look good. I call Willow and ask her out for a real date this Friday and she started asking if the Hellmouth was opening or something along those lines. I say if she doesn't want to then I can ask someone else. She is very quick to accept and wants to know what we are going to do. I tell her a nice Italian dinner and of course dancing at the Bronze. Just the two of us together for the night enjoying each others company. Baring Hellmouth activities of course.
The rest of the year went great. Highlights are; Angel never loses his soul, Jenny lives, Oz never becomes a werewolf, my Gohan custom from Ethan's gave me some great fighting abilities and some basic Ki attacks. Nothing Earth threatens but really deadly to vampires and demons. Of course that does leave the bad things; Joyce knows about her daughter's night activities, Kendra still dies at the hands of Drusilla while they were trying to open Acthalla. We managed to dust Dru and Spike afterwards. Oh I ended up in hell for the summer. It looks like Dru in her infinite insanity was able to figure out the key. And the white knight will open and close the door. No matter what I do some vamp is calling me the white night. I just remember being in pain for hundreds of years. Then a portal open below and I fell through. I fell on a cold hard floor and looked around trying to figure out what happened. I crawled on the floor till my hand smacked on the locket Anya game in. It looks like it was just placed there. I gave it to Willow while she was in the hospital before I left to kill Dru and Spike. How did it get here? Where is here? Why am I so cold? I tap the locket a few times to try and get help from Anya. Sure enough she shows up with some clothes for me. You have just got to love her.
"Well it is about time you called. I have been so bored waiting for you to ask for help. Even with all the curses I have dished out in the past year I still wanted to see when you would call. Well it looks like physical you could last long enough but now you have a girlfriend so I guess I will have to find some other way to have you pay me back."
I just stare at her. I can't focus on anyone thing. I am still trying to process what happened. I guess I got out of hell like Angel did but I can't move to well. I don't have vamp healing to speed up the process. Anya moves towards me and puts the locket around my neck and I start to feel better. Like my healing has been kicked in to over drive.
"Yes it also heals you and keeps you healthy. I don't think it could replace an eye so try and stay clear of Caleb this time around. Well if you want I can dress you or you can wait till you heal up some more. It won't take much longer. Also while you wear that I have an empathic bond with you. I can feel you confusion and the pain you are in. I can also feel the pain going away. I am so glad you have it back. I was unable to stand feeling the love and sadness from Willow all summer long missing you and never thinking you were coming back. She left it here to say good bye and try to move on this year. I suggest you get up and dressed fast if you want to keep her. She really likes that Oz person. To quiet for me but with her and talking someone that will just listens works for her. Well I am done her. Remember you owe and I will collect later from you one way or another."
I just stare and try to say good bye as she disappears. I crawl towards the pile of clothes and start to dress myself. I can finally move around a bit but talking is still causing me problems. I guess screaming for months on end never stopping will cause some problems later on. I stand and start to walk out of the mansion and head towards the school. I figure one way or another it is going to be the best place for me to get help. I stumble my way through the streets but eventually I get to the school. The doors are not lock and I head towards the library. I can hear the voices of my friends there talking about the nights plan and what they are going to be doing later. I open the doors and everyone looks towards me. Buffy and Faith stare while they get their stakes ready to defend if need be. Giles and Jenny just stare at me with tears brimming but not falling from their eyes. Oz looks like Oz. Just staring and taking notes. Cordy doesn't know what to say or do. Willow looks at me with tears falling and high hopes. I just smile and she launches towards me faster then I have ever seen Buffy or Kendra move. I am knocked to the ground by a blur of red hair but I still can not tell her I love her and missed her. She just hugs me as my face starts to turn blue from lack of oxygen.
"Well it looks like he is alive for now if Willow doesn't let up soon," Faith comments.
"I couldn't agree more. Of course once she moves it is my turn so no cuts."
"No probs B. I can wait. But I am so before G and J over there."
"He is mine and you can shake his hand but hugs are all mine till I say different right Xan?"
I just nod to Willow as we start to stand up. I walk over to the rest of the group with my new shadow and do the standard meet and greet. Everyone just continues to look at me waiting for something. Then it hits me. I haven't sad a word since getting out of hell. I write down on paper that I can't speak at the moment. I am unsure why but I hope it is just because I need time to heal me throat and such. I try to convey some form of comfort. It is getting late and I want to go home and to bed. I write it down and Willow looks at me with concern and worry.
"Xan your parents moved. They thought you died and they couldn't stand to stay in the town that caused their son's death. Well we all though you died or at least you weren't coming back to us. I was just there were Acthalla stood and left your pendant. I was just saying good bye. After the summer of you being gone I needed to get on with my life. I am sorry I gave.," At this point she couldn't hold it in as she buried her head in my chest and cried out the pain of losing me and admitting that I wasn't coming back. "I am so sorry I gave up on you. With you being in Hell and no way of knowing if you could come back. Oh god, please forgive me. I need you here with me. Now that your back I don't want you to leave me again."
I rub her back and try telling her I am staying with her but I can't talk. So I just hold her and nod me head. Giles and Jenny ask if I want to stay at their house tonight. I was about to comment when a very strong voice spoke.
"He is staying at my place tonight. Later we can figure it out but tonight he is with me."
I left up her head and kiss her lips and just smile. I want to be with her more then anything else. The decision is made and Willow and I head back to her house and everyone else continues with their plans. At the house I undress and crawl into bed in just boxers. My Wills strips down to bra and panties. I just stare. I have never seen this much of Willow since the start over and she looks gorgeous. She is just pure beauty and gorgeousness. She crawls in to bed next to me. She wraps one arm around my chest and puts her head on my shoulder.
"I love you. Don't ever leave me again."
I kiss her forward and pull her even closer to me. We fall asleep in each others embrace and felt sorry for the fool that would try and separate us till we woke up.
In the morning I realize two things. I am not burning and I have never been this aroused in my life. I look down to the head the caused the second issue and just smile and kiss the crown of her head. I crawl out of her embrace and head to take a shower. I don't remember the last one I took but I am sure only a woman that loves me as much as Willow could be that close to me when even I knew I didn't smell that good. I feel the pendant around my neck as I start my shower. I hold on to it and think of thanks and happiness to Anya for all that she has done for me. I felt a cold blast of air and turn around to see Willow getting in the shower.
"Xan you stink and I are sure it is both of us now so I guess I have to take a shower also. And with the whole water conservation going around I figured this would be the best way. So can you hand me the soap and I will get your back."
If I thought bar and panties Willow was gorgeous wet and shower Willow is just too hot to handle. I hand her the soap and turn around so she can wash me. I hear a gasp and turn back towards her and she looks at me with a pain, sorrow, and anger. I look at her not understanding what it is. She twirls me around and I feel her fingers trace lines down my back. She keeps making a zigzag pattern till I figure out she is tracing the lash marks on my back. I forgot all about them. They only did that constantly for a couple of years. After so much time you can forget what they did and start to think maybe you dreamed it. I guess that was just a nightmare that did happen. What else was done to me that I no longer remember? Right now I don't want to think about it. Just enjoy a shower. I turn back to her and motion to the door to see if she wants to leave. I wouldn't be hurt is she can't stand to see them. She looks at me and shakes her head no and jumps in for another hug. I hold her and let the water just wash over us. Eventually we soap up and risen off. We get out of the shower and towel off. I head over to the full length mirror and start going over my body inch by inch to try and find any other scars that I can see. This way I can try and hide them the best I can. I notice a small scar in my neck. I trace my finger over it and try to remember what happened. Willow walks over to me and traces the scar also. As her nails scrapes across it I am hit with the memory of it. ~Flashback~
"It is that annoying voice of yours that is pissing me off the most. All the times you yelled look out to your friends to prevent my minions from killing them. The world would be over some many different ways if you could have kept your mouth shut. Well I will take care of your voice no problem. I am just glad they you are alive here. If you were just a condemned soul this would only last till you could be free. But this is flesh and blood and can not be undone without help for powers higher then your current friends could ever hope to get." The demons hand came to my neck and with a clawed finger slits down my throat as I scream and try to get away from it. Then my screaming stops but not my trying to. He looks down at me smiles. "Just to show there are no hard feelings," he closes the slit and heals the wound. "There you go, good as quiet." ~End Flashback~
I stand there tears running down my face and cry. Never to tell Willow how much I love her and how much she means to me, to just say her name and tell a joke. I lose all strength in my legs and collapse on the floor. I curl in a fetal position and cry as Willow just holds on to me crying also. Times goes by and we are both cold from being air dried and naked. We stand up and I walk over to the dresser. She stills has some of my clothes. I get dress and sit down and the computer. I start typing a long note about what I can remember for a couple hundred years of pain and torture. What the demon did to me neck and why I can't talk. I ask her what she wants to do now and that I am going to go out for awhile. I will be back later I just need to get some time alone. I present the screen to her and as she reads I leave and walk to the park to sit and just enjoy the sunshine.
"I am sorry Xan. I can't do anything for you either. I want to but this is not in my realm of possible. That demon was high on the scale and only a whitelighter or higher could maybe heal you but they wouldn't come near for fear of what would happen to their charges if they did. It would bring the demons out of the wood works. You might be able to talk then but they wouldn't last a month. I know you Xan and that fact alone will stop you from trying. You will not sacrifice them for you. I am sorry." Anya stands and starts to walk away, she stops and turns around, "Your debt is paid. I am sorry for your lose. Please don't give up now. Later Xan." She turns and disappears.
I am left alone in thought. I don't know what to do. I won't be able to go in to construction or anything else. For the moment I don't have a purpose in my life. I can't keep Willow any longer. I can't give her a good future. Most likely they will try more then ever to get him out of the fight. He can't help them. He can't do anything. He is just useless weight like always. This was supposed to be a big chance to improve everyone's life. Willow will not fall to the dark side; Buffy will live healthy and long, Faith won't fall and will be a great slayer like Buffy, Giles will have a good family with his adoptive kids and Jenny, Oz won't have to ever worry about becoming a werewolf, and Angel will never become Angelus saving lives and stopping so much evil. All it cost him was his voice. The ability to make people laugh and not worry about the hard times as much. I guess I should have none there would have been a price. I just didn't know it was this high.
"Don't sweat it kid. The changes you have done will last the rest of there lives. You saved them from a fate they never new existed." The comment comes for a poorly dressed man in a brimmed hat. "Names Whistler, I get orders from the PTBs to help out the champions and now their White Knight. Just think kid you are then only person to ever be termed that through them. Good job on saving the world."
I just stare at him. I can't really say anything and I don't really want to hear him talk about it. I get up to stand and walk away. He grabs my arm and I feel electricity running through it and raveling up my arm to my head. The pain in instant and I pull my arm away and swing with my other arm knocking him back 10 feet. I can feel myself power up to attack again. I move towards him as he starts to moves his hands in gestures that for some reason I understand.
(I had to give you the gift so you wouldn't feel completely useless. We still need you fighting and don't have the time to learn them. So we gave you knowledge of all forms of sign. Any ever used by human and a few commonly used among demons. That is one gift among of few others for your situation. Anya was right, someone really high could heal you but since you were in Hell there are more rules about it. Sorry.) After that Whistler just disappears.
I power down trying to figure out what he was talking about. It hits me that I have more power to control then before. I can feel it flowing through me. I might almost be a Super Sayian level. Right now that does little for me outlook of life but I can definitely do more with out having to riley on the others. I think about it for a moment and then head off in to the woods for a little privacy. I power up again and really concentrate on bringing in as much power to find my max and what I need to work it higher. I close my eyes and concentrate. I feel so light that if a strong breeze comes by I would probably float away. When I open my eyes I notice that I am looking at treetops. I look down and I am flying. Downfall I lose concentration and start to fall to the ground. I think hard and point energy against the Earth and stop the fall and begin to rise up. With a little more practice and can do this with out all the hard thinking about it. Now this changes my mood for the better. I land and take off towards Willows. I notice just how fast I am running and see that the gifts I was given would help me in the long run.
I walk towards the house and head upstairs to see Willow and try and talk to her about everything. I walk in to her room and I find myself tackled again by a blur of red that is crying and squeezing tightly.
"I am not letting you leave me. I don't care whether you can talk or not. I want you in my life and I will not let you go if you think your voice is the only thing I love about you. Do you get me?" A crying Willow says with a very, very strong resolve face.
I look at her and give her a kiss on the lips. I feel the electricity go into her but she just pulls back in shock. We stand up and I sign to her. (This is a gift from the PTBs. They want to make sure I could talk or at least speak to people.)
(I can understand that. I can sign to. It seems they want to make sure you can talk to me also. So there even the Powers what us together so no more about no wanting you one way or another. You get me?)
(No probs Wills. Let's head to Giles and start getting all this sorted. And I have a few other tricks to show you tonight.) I sign with a smirk on my face.
(Gotcha. I love you.)
(Love you to.)
We head over to Giles after Willow calls to make sure that they around and see if they can get the rest of the group together. We get there and Giles ushers us in to the family room where Faith was already sitting and tells us everyone else is on the way. So we just kind of sit there in silence. They both look at me expecting to say some joke or make a G-Man comment. Eventually Buffy, Oz, Cordy, and a slightly Smoking Angel arrive and take seats. We all just sit around in a circle everyone just staring at me. I sign to Willow and to ask everyone to hold hands in a circle. The look of shock on everyone's face is something that brings a smile to my face. So there they are holding hands. I hold on to Willow's and Buff's and again I feel the electricity leave my body and see the shock on everyone's face as it hits them. I let go and so does everyone else.
(Can you understand this?)
I group of signed yes comes back at me. I just smirk and start to tell the story of Whistler and my day at the park including my new powers and strengths but the power of flight I leave out. That is for my Willow first and then the rest of the group. I tell them if they want they can talk normal. They just need the knowledge so they can understand me. They all nod yes and start talking with out noticing they are still doing sign. I hope it can be control so I don't worry about they yelling to me during a fight and still. At this point we stand up and Angel falls over unconscious on the floor. I rush over to him with Buffy and pick him up and set him down on the couch. All of a sudden he opens his eyes and takes in a big breath, a breath that he needs since he is alive again. He looks at me stunned.
"How did you do it? I am alive. I can feel my heartbeat. It is beating and it hurts a little. Lack of use I guess. But how did you do it?
(Couldn't tell you buddy. I don't have that kind of power.)
"You're half right kid. You don't have the power but the gift you passed to him can't be given to vampires. So since that can be resolved he was made alive again. So try and keep him safe. He is as human as the rest of you." Whistler says as he walks down the stairs and out the door.
Buffy just stares at me and Angel and jumps on him and kisses him over and over while getting a bit more adventuress in her hand placement.
"B are you sure you want to continue that here?"
"Yes Buffy I think it best to move the congratulation party to a more private atmosphere."
We just stare at him trying to figure out what he said.
"Bloody Americans, get a room you two," was he reply in a less then proper English accent.
Buffy blushes and stands up and helps Angel stand as well. They walk out in to the sunlight to see what could be. They rest leave also except Faith. Willow and I stay behind and I explain to Giles and Jenny what happened to me in Hell and why I can not talk for what looks like the rest of my life. I cry a little for my lost as well does Jenny and a few tears from Giles.
(Thanks you for everything father,) I sign to Giles.
The shocked look on his face is worth to just be able to tell him one way.
"Of course son, I am always here for you and the rest of my kids. I wish they were still around for this but that can't be helped." He turns to Jenny and holds her hand and gets on one knee, "Jenny Calendar will you marry me?"
The shock of the question leaves her stunned for a moment and she just nods her head yes. Giles stands of wraps her in his arms and tells her he loves her. Faith and us just sit back and smile. I stand up and go over to the two an embrace them both in a hug.
(So do I call you mom or what?) I sign with a smirk on my face.
Faith adds in "I would like to call you mom also if you don't mind. The one I had already pales in comparison to you. And with Giles as my dad I think this can actually be a family I want to come home to. Of course with a brother like X I might still be late but that can't be helped."
"Faith, you and Xander can call me mom all you want. The love I have for you two already makes you my kids. Thanks for the gift of family. So Rupert when do you think we should do this. I say tomorrow but you are a bit to stuffy to do things my way." Jenny says with a loving smile.
"Quite right tomorrow is definitely too soon. That is not the English way. Next weekend after we all have the chance to get new outfits and rent tuxes is a much better time frame. I don't think I could wait much longer to have you forever. Xander can you be my best man, I figure of the lot you are that and more."
Now it is my turn to be stunned. I nod a yes. I look over to Faith and invite her to the hug of this family.
Jenny then says to Faith, "Get over her and join the hug. Of course this is going to make you the maid of honor. I think my daughter should be by my side as much as possible."
Faith leaps in to the hug and squeezes everyone to the point of to much but she is unable to let go. She then pears to Willow as she stands there looking at the group. "You joining us or just standing there. If you are not already my sister you will probably be my sister in law in time."
With that Willow jumps in to the groups closes to me and I just feel the love of this group and cry. My family life did improve over the last year but the amount of love shown here was more then I think my real parents were able to. I will miss them I must let the go to hopefully live their lives together and find happiness.
We all break away from the group hug and sit down to discuss the wedding, telling everyone else, and what to do about the Mayor this time around. The outlook is good and except for school on Monday and catching up all that I missed and decided what else I need to do to prepare my life. Giles still has an empty room that we can get a bed for and go shopping over the week to replace lost clothes. Willow can hack the system to get me enrolled for classes and sign me up for make test to cover what I missed while in Hell. It is very late at night when we break up and I am going to walk Willow home. Faith asks if she wants me to come with. I tell her no but tomorrow we are going to stop by Willy's to see if any big bads have shown up that need to be taken care of. With that we leave.
"Xan what else did you want to show me? You said later when it is dark and I was wondering what it could be. I was also hoping you would stay the night and kind of celebrate the new found gifts or just you know have sex."
I think when I feel over Willow just started laughing but it sounded like gold to me. I haven't heard her laugh so care free since I got back. I missed it so much in Hell. I also wish I didn't have to remember Hell and all it had stolen from me. (Don't do that to me Willow I might now be able to handle it right now.)
"I don't need you to handle it, just me. I will handle it for you, trust me. I love you Xan."
I stand up and bring her into my arms. I give her a gentle kiss and I start to lift off the ground. She doesn't notice that yet so caught up in the passion of the kiss.
"Goddess Xan I feel so light and giddy. What did you put in that kiss?" She asks with a smile of pure sunshine.
I point down and she looks and screams in panic. I hold her tighter and try to convey comfort. She looks it me and asks is this the thing. I nod yes and fly off to the house. We reach her house and go in through the balcony window. We both just look at each other as we undress. She wraps her self around me and we both head off to bed and the rest of our lives.
Getting back to school for Monday and getting classes for the non- speaking was easier then I though about it. My friends still hang around me a bit much for support but with Willow and my family at home I feel more stable with love then in the past years. Angel has gotten a job owning a magic shop. Willow was able to set him up with a Social Security number and a fake birth certificate. Well, at least well enough for this town. Willow is going to try to set him up in the federal computer but that is going to take a bit more skill then she has. Giles is going to be pulling in favors from to council to set it up. The new Mr. and Mrs. Giles are happily on there honeymoon leavening Faith and I at the house with Joyce stopping over it seems like every few hours to make sure we are alright. After two days Faith went over to Joyce's house and stayed the rest of the time there while I went back to Willows and stayed there. Her parents are both okay with us since they have known me since kindergarten but we are still carefully not to betray the trust. I am hoping for a great third year and an even greater time.
As for the Mayor we decided to get rid of the box of demons since grawhatever is too heard to remember how to pronounce. With Faith now on the good fight all the time things are a bit easier. It seems even Kakistos should up to prove what a great Master Vampire he is by killing the two slayers. It seems two slayer, two witches, one former vampire with the strength and speed of one, and one almost Super Sayian were a bit more then him. Of course cockroaches probably had a longer life then he did once he walked in to SunnyDale. Faith was more then itching to get revenge for a watcher she never had and was still pretty much alive. The slayers and I sat down Giles and talked about Buffy's 18th birthday. We agreed the best way is to go by full council rules and with me running back up so it seems she did it all by herself she was able to pass the BS of it and Giles did not lose his job. Apparently while all this was going on for my 18th birthday I was presented with papers saying that even though I was an adult, Rupert and Jenny Giles are now my legal guardians. Faith got hers on her 17th birthday. So now officially we are one big family with a few extras perks. I call Giles and Jenny mom and dad all the time now. The call me son and I don't think I ever want any of it to change.
The nightmares of Hell seem to have gotten better. Most night I can just lay back down others I find my self out side training. When it gets really bad I call Wills and hit the pound key twice so she knows I am heading her way. We fall asleep in each others arms and she is able to chase the nightmares away. Giles has asked about maybe going to some therapy but I need a doctor that can sign and keep of with the spend I use when I ramble on about what happen. Not to mention little facts about saying I was in Hell not just living like I was. We try the best we can. I talk about it to Willow and Giles. They feel sad for me but I have found it is all getting better and I thank God for most of it. The gifts I was given on my return has really helped save lives and prevent problems. I was able to blast the Hellmouth beast as it tried to enter this world. I also eliminated Jack and his cronies before the cake in the basement ever became a problem that night. Cordy this year is doing good. Since she never fell for me she was able to retain her status but still lost everything when the IRS collected from her father. I still bough her prom dress and she still looked good in it. Anya even swung by for the prom and after talking to Willow about it I danced with her for a song and kissed her good bye. Before she left she walked over to Cordy and said don't you wish your father paid his taxes ever year like he was suppose to. Cordy said yes I wish he did. Anya just nodded and left the school.
When Cordy walked outside to leave she hopped in the limo she came in and wished everyone else a goodnight. We and Willow retreated back to a fancy hotel that Giles surprising enough got for us. I am sure Jenny convinced him and with everything Willow has done for me it seems this was his thank you. When we got there we found a card on the bed the read have fun but I don't want to be a grandfather yet. There were a couple condoms in the envelope and Will and I both fell over laughing. Well she was laughing I guess the best way to describe it was that my chest will vibrate. Not really strong but you can feel it and brings a smile to Willow's face when she hugs me. We spent the rest of the night in each others arms and used up the condoms given to us and a few we brought ourselves. We woke up the next morning to Giles calling and saying we do have the room for the weekend and there was no need to rush home or anything. We just smiled at each other and went back to sleep holding each other.
After that long weekend of togetherness and love we came back to my house to see Faith, Jenny, and Rupert just smiling at us.
(You got us the room dad, and thanks for that. So family what is going on today.)
"Well son it seems there is something Hellmouthy afoot that needs to be talked about."
It was Jenny hitting him that made Faith start to laugh. "Rupert just get on with it and I don't need the Xander comment thank you."
"Alright my beloved wife, Xander it seems that in 7-8 months you are going to be brother to a little boy or girl." Giles said with the biggest proudest smile I think I could ever hope to see.
I run and pick up Jenny in a hug and shake Giles hand. Willow joins me in the hug and so does Faith. Giles also gets in this hug and we stand there again holding each other and conveying such great love of each other that nothing could ruin this moment.
"So other then sex what else did you and Willow do?" commented Faith.
With that we broke apart and looked at her. Willow was beat red and I was just staring at her.
"What I can smell it from here. Damn Xan maybe instead of brother you can dump Red and pick me up. How about it?"
(Sorry Faith but she is the only one for me. I couldn't leave her even if I wanted to. And since I will never want to leave her she is stuck with me for a very long time. So no more comments like that thank you. I don't want her to think I can't be trusted when she isn't watching me.)
"Fine but it would have been great."
"Trust me Faith you don't want to get between us. I don't like people messing with my stuff," was all Willow said but the underlining threat could be heard all around.
Faith took a step back held up her hands "Don't worry Red your boytoy is safe from me. I am just making fun okay."
"No probs Faith. You are a sister to me and I am glad to be apart of your family."
"Now that is all cleared up lets get ready for school on Monday and the end of the year," was the Giles comment of the day.
We all sat down and talked about what to do after graduation now that the Mayor wasn't a problem. It was at this moment that a voice broke it that was both familiar and not all that welcomed.
"Kid I am going to need to talk to you about that. You to Red since it going to concern you both," Whistler then turned around and walked out the door waiting for them.
As they walked together holding hands Whistler just smiled at them. "Okay here is the thing with Angel alive someone needs to go to LA to take care of issues and plans there. That is now you and her. UCLA is looking forward to having you in the mute classes and you are also going to be working to help kids learn sign also. As for you Red you can do what you want. Xan has to go and I am assuming you would head there also. UCLA does have some great classes for you and your witchcraft. Just be careful not to fall to the darker side of it. I am sorry to have to do and say this but with out Angel going there we need a powerful champion to fight. You are it. Buffy isn't meant to leave the Hellmouth just yet and Faith has to finish high school and grow up a little more. Now you can turn this down and not go and stay here. In the end we can't make you and taking away the gifts will hurt us more in the long run. Of course if you don't do all the death of innocents and lack of someone there to stop end of world things wouldn't work to well for us either. So we are asking. Go and we will help set you up. Stay and condemn thousands maybe more to painful deaths and to their own personal Hell. So what about it White Knight, what are you going to do?"
I punch him hard and knocked him down. He doesn't seem to surprise but keeps looking at me waiting for my answer. (Of course I am going to fucking do it. What else do you expect? And if you ever use my Hell memories to manipulate me again I will fucking kill you were you stand you get me.) I sign to him with a very angry look and presence to me.
"Good. Well then I will leave you two," He stands and walks away.
Willow wraps me up in a hug as a start to cry. Remembering Hell isn't that bad but to think if I don't do something other people can suffer that also just brings more pain to me then I can handle. It is when Faith and my parents walk out and hug me as a cry that I can stop and head back inside. I tell them all what has happened and what I have to do after graduation. I ask Willow if she wants to come with me also. I try and tell her I can do it with out her so she doesn't need to do it if she feels like she has no choice. I don't want her to feel trapped with me. It was the look of anger staring at me that shook me a bit.
(What the hell are you talking about? I can stay here if I want. You said it earlier. You couldn't leave me if you wanted to. I can't leave you either. I will be going. I will have to go over the UCLA stuff to see what classes to take but you ever do that again to me and I swear you will suffer. I am not here for you as long as everything is smiles and sunshine. I have held while you cried to sleep and other times when the nightmares got too much. When your friends died from some nameless vampire, I am not leavening now bucko so you better rethink how you ask me questions like that again.) The speed she did the signing showed it was meant for me. The others could catch words but most of what she said was lost to them. I stood up and gather her in my arm as I held on and cried for what little freedom I hope to have after high school was being taken away from me. Not by an evil power or by God herself. But by my sense of what is right and trying to save and protect the innocent.
"I am proud of you my son. I will help you in anyway possible."
"You know Xan. In a few years I will be heading to LA to fight by your side. With Angel, Buffy, Giles, and Jenny here for I am sure I will be able to leave here."
"Yes Xander we will all be there for you. I might not be fighting but anything you need just ask and I will do my best to get it. You are my son. I did not give birth to you but if the little one I have turns out half as well then I know I have done a great job as a mom to it. You have saved us all Xander. It also seems that you have saved some of us from ourselves." Jenny says as she looks to Giles.
I just stare at Giles waiting.
"What do you think, she is my wife and it isn't proper to not tell her more of what we know and how we know it."
(Works for me dad. Mom, Faith thanks for being there for me. I don't think I could have done all this with out my family.) We sit down and discuss the rest of the school year and what to do next year for college. I am still going on my summer trip but with the nicer car Giles has provided for me I am definitely going to be making it further and hopefully out of this state.
The End For Now