A/N: Sorry everyone! I know that it has taken me awhile but here it is, the rest of the songfic. I've had almost all of it for quite some time but I didn't want to post it until after I finished it so you got the whole thing.
I enjoy reviews, and if I get enough asking for another addition to this series, I have a song in mind so do ask nicely.
My eyes were bloodshot, from lack of sleep, and no matter how many times I raked my fingers through the crimson mop that lays upon my head, it still flattened so I looked like I had just risen from bed. That was two hour ago, and I still feel drowsy, and in a comatose. I even showered, let the freezing cold drops of water drizzle down my body. Nothing really helped, and I didn't really expect anything practical to. So I just stormed into the common room, with bed-head and bags under my eyelids.
"Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," Seamus taunted me when I hauled myself onto a couch. Why haven't they all left yet?
After a short chuckle he said started again, "You look like shit Weasley."
"You're not so hot yourself Finnigan," I shot back, not really wanting to quarrel.
I didn't even have to look up to know that that would get Seamus heated, his face would be reddened with fury. All I do is just put up my hand, signaling that I don't want to deal with him today.
Harry came up to sit next to me, he was looking more, well, happy. Even with You-Know-Who still lurking about, ready to strike at any moment, Harry has been euphoric ever since he started seeing my sister. That story sounds vaguely familiar, but I'm too tired, and exhausted to think about that.
"Hanging in there Ron?" he questioned, sitting himself on the arm of the couch.
"By a thread," I replied, stifling a yawn from escaping my lips.
Just as Harry nodded in agreement, the entrance was opened and McGonagall approached all the Gryffindor house members seated in the common room. Her usual pointed hat was still folded over and her green, marbled robes were looking as they always do.
"Everyone who is going to Hogsmeade today please head down towards the Hogwarts entrance within the next 10 minutes," she announced, then as quickly as she entered, she exited too.
Harry patted my shoulder nonchalantly, "I'll see you around mate."
He left, found Ginny somewhere and the two locked hands, fingers entwined. The swapped words, and Ginny looked back to me, pity in her eyes, pity towards me. I just shook her glance away and stomped up to the boys' dorms. I didn't need my little sister's sympathy, I couldn't even handle my own self-commiseration, let alone anyone else's.
Before I threw myself onto my own bed, I kneeled down beside Harry's four-poster and pulled out a box that held a small bowl within it. Taking it into my hands, I took it with me to my bed and placed it on the floor beside it, where I could reach it from where I would lay.
I adjusted on my bed until I was comfortable then took my wand from my robe pocket to place the end to my temple. My eyelids shut over my eyes and I pictured that night, the memory of it all. Focus I told myself, concentrating on the every detail. Finally satisfied, I placed my wand to the bowl, and a silvery liquid filled it. If nothing could convince Hermione of the truth, this would.
For awhile I just rested, hoping for sleep to envelope me, but with my luck, I just got a lot of thinking done. Thinking that just gave me a headache.
Suddenly there was a light rapping on the door, and my heartbeat increased. I sprang out of the bed and grasped the handle, slowly easing it open. Hermione stood there, chocolate hair bordering her face, coffee eyes, scrutinizing me, looking over my hair, face, and body.
"Hi," she spoke, just above a whisper.
"Hi," I replied, sighing just slightly. This would soon be over with.
I walked backwards to open the door further so Hermione could enter the dorm. She did so slowly, awkwardly glancing around the room, her eyes halting on my bed. Shaking her head slightly she maneuvered around and finally decided on sitting on the floor. She crossed her legs and pulled her robes over any exposed skin of her shins, thighs, and feet. Doing the same, I sat across her so we were facing each other, I stared into her eyes but she just looked away.
"Hermione you have to look at me sometime," I told her, taking her chin in my fingers to pull her head to face me.
"I can't," she glanced down, her eyelids preventing me from seeing the glisten that formed beneath them.
"Why? Why can't you just look at me?"
"I don't know," she paused, squeezing her eyes tighter to produce a single tear to run down her cheek, "I don't know if I can without something I'll regret happening."
I took my free hand and brought it up to press my thumb to her face, to caress away her tear, "Don't cry, I don't want you to cry anymore."
"And I don't want to, but I can't help it." she explained, surprisingly not shooing away my fingers, "Why did you betray me Ron? Why did you have to hurt me like that?"
I inhaled a deep breath, "I didn't do anything to hurt you Hermione, I'd never do anything to cause you any harm because I love you."
"If you love me so much, then how is it that I found you and Lavender, in an empty room, all over each other?" she questioned, her tone turning harsh and hinted blame.
"I told you, I didn't want to be there, she had me pinned to the table. I didn't know she was going to that! I thought she was my friend, but she was all over me, I was trying my best to get her off me." I tried explaining again.
Hermione brought a hand to her head as if she were thinking, "I don't understand it Ron, how you couldn't of pushed her off of you, she's so small and thin, it should've been easy to toss her aside."
"Sometimes I watch the world get by
I wonder what it's like
To wake up every single day
Smile on your face
You never try "
I became frustrated quickly, but I pushed that frustration to the back of my mind. All I allowed to consume my thoughts was that this was my last chance to convince Hermione that I love her, and that I wouldn't do anything to hurt her.
"Hermione, if you can't see that I'm telling the truth just by looking into my eyes and figuring out that I'm not fibbing, I have another way to convince you," I stood up and walked over to when I'd placed the pensieve, Hermione raised an eyebrow at me as if to ask what I was doing.
"What is that?" she asked but then corrected herself, "What I mean is why do you have one?"
"It's Harry's," I said nonchalantly, sitting down again but this time with it in my lap, "He started using one when he was taking those lessons with Snape, so he couldn't see any of Harry's thoughts. I asked him if I could borrow it just for today."
Her coffee brows furrowed in confusing, "but why?"
"I want you to look into this Hermione, to see what really happened. This is the only way I know to make you see the truth," my voice was soft, but effective.
"I've never used one before," she looked up to me, unsure of what to do. But then she took it from me and looked into it so she was soon locked in my memory.
I didn't want to see any of the expressions that would cross her face. I didn't care what she felt as she lived through the memory. All I wanted was the final result, how it would all be when she finished. So I silently crept to my bed and perched myself onto it, closing my eyes to let time pass by quicker. The memory wasn't that long, so any minute she'd come up here, and I'd finally get her reaction to the truth.
"Ron," at the sound of her voice I shot straight up to see her face expression.
Tears leaked from the ducts of her eyes, sorrow was spread upon her face like butter on a roll. I wasn't sure what to make of it until she latched her arms around my neck, and kissed my check.
"I'm sorry," she stated, and then cried into my shoulder.
"We both know
We can't change it
But we both know
We'll just have to face it "
After a few minutes of sobbing, I broke its continuous streak, "I love you," and afterwards, all I heard was our breath mingling in the air.
"You just bring me down
So I'm counting the tears
Till I get over you "
Just when I thought that everything would be okay again, Hermione does exactly what I should've been thinking she would do. I was too enveloped with the ecstasy of holding her in my arms once again, caressing her back, running my trembling fingers the best I could through her tangled hair.
She pulls away, and suddenly I'm cold, the coldest I've been since that day by the lake. A light tear forms in the corner of her eye, ready to fall down to rest upon her cheek. Hasn't she learned by now that I can't stand it when she cries? Has she not figured out that every time her beautiful smile reverses a part of my heart breaks? Or is it that she just wants me to be this way?
"No, Hermione don't," I plead, taking my thumb to wipe away the moist droplet, "Don't you cry, not now that everything can be all right again."
"No, Ron," her voice is a mere whisper, "everything won't be all right again. I can't be with you like that again, not after everything that happened."
I cast her a baffled look, "Nothing happened Hermione, I thought you realized th-"
"Something did happen though, I lost all the trust I had in you just during that one night. Over six years of trust was destroyed. Magic can't bring that back Ron, nor can it for a lot of other things."
"Don't do this to me! I can't stand being without you," I tried everything I could to prevent my anger to rise, instead my heart broke, "I don't know what I would do without you."
"I'm sorry Ron, but you'll just have to get over it," her voice was steady, calmer than my own, "I don't think I can love you as much as I did."
Not being able to stand this any longer, I fell back to my bed, my head softly landing onto my pillow. Hermione leaned over me, looked down at my dismal expression. For a second I thought she was going to take it all back. Why wouldn't I? That's the sort of impression you get when a person swipes their lips against your own.
After our quick and soft connection of lips, a tear from Hermione's eyes dripped onto my cheek. Her words were just as soft; "A part of my heart will always belong to you."
"Only if I could give you
Would I want to let off
From this soap opera, baby "
I glared into her perfect hazel eyes, my own sapphire ones opening up my soul and glazing over with infatuation. Nothing could describe the passion that surged into my heart the second she said yes. This was to be my first "official" date with anyone in my life. I didn't count the Yule Ball because I wasn't with Hermione, the only girl I'd ever allow myself to date. We just stood next to each other in the common room in an awkward silence. Neither of us knew what to say or do. As for myself, I was completely terrified that I'd do and say something idiotic.
Inhaling deeply Hermione spoke first, her voice just slightly wavering, "Shall we go then?"
"Sure," I replied quickly, my voice almost completely lost so I cleared my throat, "Let's go."
Surprisingly enough we shared small talk, simple topics to discuss to get us past that first stage of silence. Hermione obviously having more intimate opinions than I had, conquer most of our conversations. I don't know why I was being so nervous, I've known Hermione since Year One and have talked about thousands of topics before. Now, I just suddenly run out of things to say, how ironic could it get? After all those years of wanting to spend time alone with her, I finally get to and I haven't got a damn thing to say.
"This is crazy," I blurted out as we were once again walking silently down a Hogsmeade road.
"What do you mean?" Hermione sounded almost offended, she took it the wrong way.
"No, not this as in us going on a date, I mean this as in us making small talk," I tried explaining, laughing to myself in the process.
"I know, it is a bit weird," she giggled a bit, "How long have we been friends? Like 5 years and now is when we can't seem to converse."
"Exactly," I grinned, making my reddened cheeks more visible, "Want to get a butterbeer?"
"I would absolutely love to," I offered my hand towards her and she took it into her own.
We strolled into The Three Broomsticks, fingered entwined together, smiles painted on our faces. Once we entered the pub, a small two-person table was just calling our names from the back corner. Hermione went to claim the table while I obtained drinks, two large butterbeers, then brought them to our secluded table. Carefully, I set one in front of Hermione, and brought mine to my lips to take a quick sip before sitting. Our chairs were on opposite sides of the round table, but I could tell that Hermione had moved them closer together. What a sneaky little witch.
"What are you waiting for? Sit down," Hermione insisted tapping her hand on the cushion of the seat that rested beside her.
I didn't respond with words, but just with placing myself onto the chair, which was good enough for her.
"So . . . " Hermione pounded the pads of her fingers on her mug, "How are your brothers doing with their joke shop?"
"I haven't really heard much, other then they are making quite an amount of money. Mum says that it is just beginner's luck, but I know she misses them and knows they'll prosper." I responded taking yet another swig of the smooth liquid.
"Well that's good. I really did feel awful punishing them for their pranks but they did go severely out of hand with the first and second years."
"You're right, sometimes they do go a little too far."
I wasn't really paying attention to what was happening, but before I could think twice, Hermione was leaning in towards me. She had a napkin in her hand and was licking the tip of it.
"What are you doing?" I questioned a little rudely.
"Hold still, you've got some of the foam on your nose," Hermione explained, attempting to press the saliva soaked tissue to my nose.
Like the typical guy I am I backed away, in fear of embarrassment, but she kept closing in on me.
"I can get it myself Hermione," I defended, trying to get away, "Thanks for your help but I think I can get it under control.
"You are such a boy, just hold still and save yourself from humiliation."
"You can stop now, I can do it all by myself!"
"What Ron? Would you rather have me lick it off instead of wipe?"
"Just let me do it," I moved backwards again.
Hermione must've slipped or something because with one last scoot she sort of flew over to my lap, arms flopping around to hug my neck for support. My own limbs automatically clinging to her back to also help maintain her balance.
With out another word, no question about our position or anything, Hermione leaned over and licked the creamy foam off of my nose. I could feel the searing trail that her tongue left along it, I blushed brightly.
"See, that wasn't so hard now was it?" Hermione chuckled bringing her hand up to clean off the rest, "Much better."
"Thank you," I nearly whispered, still in a slight shock.
"Anytime," she replied, then softly pressed her warm lips to my cheek, kissing it shortly, "You are just so cute when you blush."
I took the first memory that we shared as a couple, and placed it into the pensive, where it would be safe, and out of my mind.
"We both know
We won't let
But we both know
You left me - no choice
You just bring me down "
I lay there; head still plastered to my pillow, lips still moist from hers, and shed a single tear that traveled along my cheek, and dripped effortlessly into the bowl beside the bed.
"So I'm counting the tears
Till I get over you"