When Curt stormed out of the house and walked away, he glanced at Mandy, briefly, then went on. Brian was screaming and she looked up at him and knew, finally knew, that if she wanted out she would have to do it. It wasn't easy, and she hated Brian even more for making it humiliating, as well. But she left, walked out, and checked into a hotel for the night.
Three AM again, and she missed Curt desperately, remembering the first night together. It was a surprise when the phone rang, jolting her out of her memories. No one knew where she was, she hadn't thought anyone would care, and Mandy stared at the phone for a long moment before picking it up. "Hello?"
She wasn't sure who she had been expecting, but it wasn't Curt. "Mandy." And the sound of her name on his tongue nearly made her drop the phone.
Mandy clutched the receiver hard enough to dig in, and swallowed twice before she could speak. "Curt." She rubbed her eyes and wondered when the air had gotten so thin that she couldn't get enough. The clock mocked her with its precise numbers and she turned off the light, not wanting to see it anymore. "How did you know?"
"Jerry called Jack. Said Shannon had called him or something. You know, the grapevine." His voice was husky and Mandy shivered, curling into her pillow. "He told us you'd left. I called around until I lucked out."
She had to laugh, and hated that it sounded bitter. "I knew registering under my real name was a mistake."
Curt chuckled, a low sound that shot right through her, and she missed him even more. "I never would have found you if you hadn't. Are you... are you all right?"
Tears choked her for a moment, and she concentrated on just breathing without breaking down. "I'm... I will be. And you, are you ok? And where are you? With Jack?"
He sighed, and Mandy could just picture him running his free hand through his hair. "Yeah, me too. I think. I'm in Berlin, with Jack, yeah. We're recording some stuff together." She marvelled that she could hear his smile over the phone. "You'll like it."
"I'm sure I will. I've.. I've missed you." Mandy bit her lip. She hadn't meant to say that quite so bluntly.
"Me too. I've been keeping busy here, you know? And trying not to think about Brian. I mean... I'm hurt, right? And still I miss the fucker." Mandy nodded, even though she knew he couldn't see her. "But I miss you more."
"Yeah," she breathed, and felt her heart flip. "You sound tired, Curt. Are you sleeping enough?"
He laughed again, and Mandy had to smile. "No, but I'll live."
Mandy chuckled and put her hand to her forehead. "That's the hope, anyways. I don't know that I'll ever sleep again."
"No, you'll just smoke all the cigarettes you can find, get buzzed on German beer and wander the streets of Berlin all night until a cross-dressing original rocker stops his car beside you and asks if you'd like to work with him. Oh, wait, that was me." She laughed for real this time, and Curt joined her, and Mandy wanted to tug on his hair and kiss him. Her breath caught and she sighed, groping for her cigarettes in the dark. There was a crash as the clock hit the floor, and Curt was at once alert attentiveness. "Mandy?"
"Dammit." She flipped on the light and checked the clock, relieved to find it intact. Mandy put it back on the nightstand and lit up a cigarette, taking a drag before answering Curt. "It's ok. I knocked the clock off the table."
Curt was at once amused and not. "You worried me. How did you do that?"
She took another drag and blushed a bit, glad he couldn't see her. "I was trying to get a cigarette."
More laughter, and Mandy flipped the light off again and sank into the dual comforts of the bed and Curt's voice. "That's not surprising. So, tell me, Mandy dear, what are you going to do when you run out of cigarettes this time?"
Mandy giggled and set her cig on an ashtray. "Whine at you till you come bring me more."
"Yeah, right." She giggled more, and could hear his smile over the phone again. "I miss you. I have to go, sorry. Call me." He gave her his number and she turned the light back on and scrambled to find paper and pen. "Love you, hon." He hung up before she could respond and Mandy held the phone after that long enough for it to start beeping at her. Her hands shaking, she put it in the cradle and picked up her cigarette. 'Call me.' Oh, yes definitely.
There were four cigarettes in the ashtray before she realised it, and the clock read five AM. Check out time was eleven, and Mandy thought that maybe she could sleep now. She turned off the light one last time and curled onto her side, picturing blond hair and laughing blue-green eyes and drifted off, into dreams that were half memories.
Three AM again, and she missed Curt desperately, remembering the first night together. It was a surprise when the phone rang, jolting her out of her memories. No one knew where she was, she hadn't thought anyone would care, and Mandy stared at the phone for a long moment before picking it up. "Hello?"
She wasn't sure who she had been expecting, but it wasn't Curt. "Mandy." And the sound of her name on his tongue nearly made her drop the phone.
Mandy clutched the receiver hard enough to dig in, and swallowed twice before she could speak. "Curt." She rubbed her eyes and wondered when the air had gotten so thin that she couldn't get enough. The clock mocked her with its precise numbers and she turned off the light, not wanting to see it anymore. "How did you know?"
"Jerry called Jack. Said Shannon had called him or something. You know, the grapevine." His voice was husky and Mandy shivered, curling into her pillow. "He told us you'd left. I called around until I lucked out."
She had to laugh, and hated that it sounded bitter. "I knew registering under my real name was a mistake."
Curt chuckled, a low sound that shot right through her, and she missed him even more. "I never would have found you if you hadn't. Are you... are you all right?"
Tears choked her for a moment, and she concentrated on just breathing without breaking down. "I'm... I will be. And you, are you ok? And where are you? With Jack?"
He sighed, and Mandy could just picture him running his free hand through his hair. "Yeah, me too. I think. I'm in Berlin, with Jack, yeah. We're recording some stuff together." She marvelled that she could hear his smile over the phone. "You'll like it."
"I'm sure I will. I've.. I've missed you." Mandy bit her lip. She hadn't meant to say that quite so bluntly.
"Me too. I've been keeping busy here, you know? And trying not to think about Brian. I mean... I'm hurt, right? And still I miss the fucker." Mandy nodded, even though she knew he couldn't see her. "But I miss you more."
"Yeah," she breathed, and felt her heart flip. "You sound tired, Curt. Are you sleeping enough?"
He laughed again, and Mandy had to smile. "No, but I'll live."
Mandy chuckled and put her hand to her forehead. "That's the hope, anyways. I don't know that I'll ever sleep again."
"No, you'll just smoke all the cigarettes you can find, get buzzed on German beer and wander the streets of Berlin all night until a cross-dressing original rocker stops his car beside you and asks if you'd like to work with him. Oh, wait, that was me." She laughed for real this time, and Curt joined her, and Mandy wanted to tug on his hair and kiss him. Her breath caught and she sighed, groping for her cigarettes in the dark. There was a crash as the clock hit the floor, and Curt was at once alert attentiveness. "Mandy?"
"Dammit." She flipped on the light and checked the clock, relieved to find it intact. Mandy put it back on the nightstand and lit up a cigarette, taking a drag before answering Curt. "It's ok. I knocked the clock off the table."
Curt was at once amused and not. "You worried me. How did you do that?"
She took another drag and blushed a bit, glad he couldn't see her. "I was trying to get a cigarette."
More laughter, and Mandy flipped the light off again and sank into the dual comforts of the bed and Curt's voice. "That's not surprising. So, tell me, Mandy dear, what are you going to do when you run out of cigarettes this time?"
Mandy giggled and set her cig on an ashtray. "Whine at you till you come bring me more."
"Yeah, right." She giggled more, and could hear his smile over the phone again. "I miss you. I have to go, sorry. Call me." He gave her his number and she turned the light back on and scrambled to find paper and pen. "Love you, hon." He hung up before she could respond and Mandy held the phone after that long enough for it to start beeping at her. Her hands shaking, she put it in the cradle and picked up her cigarette. 'Call me.' Oh, yes definitely.
There were four cigarettes in the ashtray before she realised it, and the clock read five AM. Check out time was eleven, and Mandy thought that maybe she could sleep now. She turned off the light one last time and curled onto her side, picturing blond hair and laughing blue-green eyes and drifted off, into dreams that were half memories.