hello, everyone... heheh... I'm a little tired but I didn't want to let you down, ne... ^.^x And I *did* want to finish this series as soon as I could, anyhow. I didn't want to be left hanging, either. I hope you enjoy this one.
glossary:
geta = women's sandals, usually made of wood, with soles about an inch thick
Kami-sama = God
iie = no
Kinou no Kakera (A Piece of Yesterday)
by Mirune Keishiko
Eight: Rebuttal
The air that had seemed so sweet and warm before had turned suddenly cold, tearing jaggedly into her lungs as Kaoru sucked in her breath with a gasp. She had been running only a short distance, but then she had been fighting to control her rising emotions as well.
*Clop-clop-clop* went her geta on the hard-packed dirt street. The noise was abominable; it snapped against the stillness of a city asleep with what seemed like thunderous loudness. Somehow Kaoru felt that the faster she ran, the more loudly it echoed in the night.
She gasped with relief as the familiar fence of the dojo came into view, dimly illuminated by street lamps. But just then her shoe finally turned on some stone, twisted beneath her foot, and she was thrown to her knees in the street, breathing hard.
The first tears leaked out then, despite all her attempts to stop it. The salt droplets burned unnaturally cold against her hot face. Kaoru
clenched her fists in their sleeves and let her sobs begin.
He had brought her to that place by the river where the fireflies glowed amidst the shadows. Kaoru had stopped dead in the street when she realized where they were headed. She would have laughed out loud at the confused look on Keisuke's face, were not her heart so suddenly heavy within her at the memories that flooded her mind.
/Of course,/ she realized. Keisuke knew nothing of the things that had taken place at this same spot since the summer evening so long ago, when they were mere teenagers swearing innocent love by the quiet waters. For him, the place held nothing but pleasant memories of youth.
For Kaoru, it might have been the same -- until another summer evening not too long ago, in the arms of one for whom her heart had bled. It was strange how much she had always wanted to be held by him, yet -- the moment he did -- she wished he never had. Not if he did because he thought he would never be able to again...
And when Keisuke brought out the small black box, his low voice shaking as he asked her the question she had been secretly fearing since
Kenshin's intimations the night before, Kaoru knew what her answer would be. She knew it deep within her, had known it long before Keisuke ever arrived and began to shower her with his attention and his gifts. She had known ever since a certain redhead had left her in tears at this same place, months ago, on a sweet, sorrowful summer night.
But when Kaoru looked up hesitantly from the entrancing glitter of the ring to the soft glow of Keisuke's pleading brown eyes, she knew she had not the heart to speak her answer.
So she took a step backward, shaking her head wordlessly, turned, and ran. Ignoring Keisuke's startled shouts, which grew fainter in the distance even as his surprise changed to despair, Kaoru ran blindly, knowing her way through the night by sheer memory.
And now she was on her knees by the gate, too tired to fight the emotion welling up inside her, not caring as hot tears burned their way down her powdered cheeks. It was a great temptation to simply stay here, collapsed gracelessly in the middle of the deserted street, and cry her heart out.
/Baka,/ she thought grimly, wiping at her tears and trying to catch her breath. /You can't stay here all night. People will laugh at you... and besides, you might catch cold.../
"Kaoru-dono?"
Kaoru gasped. The voice was warm, husky, and terribly, horribly familiar... Embarrassed to the core of her being, she struggled awkwardly to stand up -- curse these stupid high-heeled geta -- and found strong hands guiding her gently yet firmly to her feet.
"I-I..." What *did* one say in a situation like this?
Wavering between extreme shame and confusion, Kaoru looked up through her long bangs into Kenshin's bottomless purple eyes full of concern. Vaguely Kaoru glanced behind her, hoping somehow that Keisuke was not coming after her. A stupid hope, but... "Kenshin..."
"What's wrong? Did something happen? Niimi--" Kenshin's eyes flashed dangerously, and Kaoru thought she saw a glint of gold in the violet eyes. Perhaps it was just her tears, but... She clung to his arm, half-frantic, as he glared down the street in the direction from which she had come. "Where is he?" he demanded sharply. "Kami-sama help me, if he did something to you--"
"Iie!" Kaoru spluttered, gripping Kenshin's arm with such force that Kenshin's head whipped toward her. The eyes still glittered. "Kenshin,
Keisuke didn't do anything. Believe me! I'll explain later, but Keisuke is totally innocent!"
His eyes softened somewhat, and he raised a hand toward her face as if to wipe away her tears, then he stopped. He grasped her shoulders instead, holding her firmly, steadily. "You're sure? Kaoru-dono..."
"*Yes*, baka, I'm sure of it." Kaoru tried to smile, but found that she couldn't just yet. She settled for staring at him with what she hoped was a calm and level gaze.
It seemed to work. Kenshin's eyes lost their fearsome light, and then he was the rurouni again, impeccably polite and gentle as he ushered her through the still-open gate. Kaoru clung to him thankfully as he half-supported, half-carried her toward the dojo. Then--
"Kenshin. Is that a bag you're carrying?"
Kenshin looked at her innocently, purple eyes round and wide. "Oro?"
Kaoru, eyes narrowing, promptly forgot all about Keisuke. "Don't 'oro' me! You won't get away with this! You were leaving, weren't you?"
Kenshin rubbed his face with his hand and his voice came out as a groan. "Kaoru-dono, I was hoping we wouldn't have to go through this..."
"I can't believe you!" shrieked Kaoru. "You were going to leave again, weren't you? And you thought you'd just sneak away in the night while none of us would notice, and you'd never say goodbye to any of us and you'd never come back, and I bet you left just one little note in the house -- in my *room*, too, I'll bet -- and it wouldn't even *say* anything much, either, just enough so that your conscience would be clear and we wouldn't think you'd gotten into trouble..."
By now her voice had become so choked, her throat so painful, that she was forced to sputter to a halt and instead began to beat him forcefully about the head and shoulders with her fists, rasping "Kenshin no *baka*!" over and over again. She relished every pained "Oro!" that he gave. It might be the last time she would ever hear it...
Dimly she realized that he had wrapped his hands about his wrists and stilled them against his chest. Cursing the imperceptible strength of this man whom she loved against all better judgement -- his strength that so easily subdued her own -- she curled her hands into fists and struggled weakly against his grasp. And she realized she had begun to cry again.
He saw it too, and then he looked as if he, too, might cry with her.
"Oh, Kaoru-dono..." he whispered, and the soft remorse in his voice made Kaoru cry even harder, pressing against him ferociously, burying
her face in his chest. He held her close almost tentatively, as if afraid that she would break. "Oh, Kaoru-dono... I made you cry..."
"You made me cry so many times before, baka," she whispered fiercely against his chest. "When you left for Kyoto... I cried so hard. Days. Maybe no one ever told you, but it took Megumi-san and Yahiko and Tae-san and Tsubame-chan to make me stop. And then in your fight with Shishio -- I wanted to be strong for you so much, but after the fight against Kamatari and the others, that night..."
"Kaoru-dono..." Shocked, Kenshin started to draw back. Kaoru looked up at him, sniffling, her blue eyes glimmering with tears, and clutched at him with a strength that startled him.
"Don't go. Don't go, Kenshin. I don't care what happens to me. I don't care how much I cry for you, how often or for what reason. It doesn't matter because I love you. Against all better judgement. Don't you see?" Her eyes were so bright, so passionate, that Kenshin found himself staring into them, transfixed. "Keisuke is a good friend. A very good friend. We used to be more than that. But that was before. And I know now -- *this* is how it will always be. That's why, when he asked me to marry him... I ran away. I couldn't say what needed to be said because it would break his heart." Greatly daring, Kaoru touched his cheek with a trembling hand. "But I will never be his wife. Because there is no one on this earth whose wife I want to be, no one -- other than you, Kenshin."
She fell silent then, perhaps finally realizing the extent of what she had said. Her cheeks reddened. Bowing her head shyly, she lowered her hand and began to move away -- but Kenshin grasped her wrist.
Slowly, with closed eyes and infinite tenderness, he leaned into her touch, playing her fingers lightly across his scarred cheek. Kaoru caught her breath in wonder as his cool skin nestled in the warmth of her palm.
"Kaoru-dono," he murmured. Kaoru gasped as he suddenly embraced her. Her eyes blurred with tears. "Kaoru-dono. Arigatou de gozaru."
Silently, Kaoru hugged him back, exerting all of her slender strength in holding him close.
"Thank you... and..." Kenshin sighed again, warm breath tickling Kaoru's ear. She shivered. "I love you, too." Warm liquid dripped onto Kaoru's kimono, trickled through her hair. "I love you. I love you. I *love* you."
Kaoru's eyes were burning with exhaustion and the many tears she had shed that night. Her whole body was worn out with emotion. Still, cocooned in Kenshin's warmth, sheltered by his lean strength, she felt strong, refreshed, alive. Tears meandered down her cheeks again, and she wept soundlessly, happily into his gi.
So absorbed were the two in their own private world that neither saw Keisuke standing outside in the street, staring at them through the gateway that still gaped open.
* tsuzuku *
Ara... (wipes forehead with a handkerchief already soggy with tears, sweat, and spit due to owner's nervously gnawing on it) Well, there it is. Part 8.
about Keisuke's black box with the ring, I didn't really know what men kept engagement rings in in 1878 Japan. Since engagement rings were a Western concept, I assumed they'd be stored Western-style too. I couldn't quite imagine a diamond ring inside some
traditional Japanese purse-box like netsuke. And I suppose the little black box would be timeless, ne? ^.^x
Whaddaya think? Too soft and mushy? Too hard and awkward? Or juuust right? BTW... you may have noticed an (ahem) uncanny resemblance between this last bit and a certain Sayonara scene (my absolute favorite in the entire series). yare yare!
glossary:
geta = women's sandals, usually made of wood, with soles about an inch thick
Kami-sama = God
iie = no
Kinou no Kakera (A Piece of Yesterday)
by Mirune Keishiko
Eight: Rebuttal
The air that had seemed so sweet and warm before had turned suddenly cold, tearing jaggedly into her lungs as Kaoru sucked in her breath with a gasp. She had been running only a short distance, but then she had been fighting to control her rising emotions as well.
*Clop-clop-clop* went her geta on the hard-packed dirt street. The noise was abominable; it snapped against the stillness of a city asleep with what seemed like thunderous loudness. Somehow Kaoru felt that the faster she ran, the more loudly it echoed in the night.
She gasped with relief as the familiar fence of the dojo came into view, dimly illuminated by street lamps. But just then her shoe finally turned on some stone, twisted beneath her foot, and she was thrown to her knees in the street, breathing hard.
The first tears leaked out then, despite all her attempts to stop it. The salt droplets burned unnaturally cold against her hot face. Kaoru
clenched her fists in their sleeves and let her sobs begin.
He had brought her to that place by the river where the fireflies glowed amidst the shadows. Kaoru had stopped dead in the street when she realized where they were headed. She would have laughed out loud at the confused look on Keisuke's face, were not her heart so suddenly heavy within her at the memories that flooded her mind.
/Of course,/ she realized. Keisuke knew nothing of the things that had taken place at this same spot since the summer evening so long ago, when they were mere teenagers swearing innocent love by the quiet waters. For him, the place held nothing but pleasant memories of youth.
For Kaoru, it might have been the same -- until another summer evening not too long ago, in the arms of one for whom her heart had bled. It was strange how much she had always wanted to be held by him, yet -- the moment he did -- she wished he never had. Not if he did because he thought he would never be able to again...
And when Keisuke brought out the small black box, his low voice shaking as he asked her the question she had been secretly fearing since
Kenshin's intimations the night before, Kaoru knew what her answer would be. She knew it deep within her, had known it long before Keisuke ever arrived and began to shower her with his attention and his gifts. She had known ever since a certain redhead had left her in tears at this same place, months ago, on a sweet, sorrowful summer night.
But when Kaoru looked up hesitantly from the entrancing glitter of the ring to the soft glow of Keisuke's pleading brown eyes, she knew she had not the heart to speak her answer.
So she took a step backward, shaking her head wordlessly, turned, and ran. Ignoring Keisuke's startled shouts, which grew fainter in the distance even as his surprise changed to despair, Kaoru ran blindly, knowing her way through the night by sheer memory.
And now she was on her knees by the gate, too tired to fight the emotion welling up inside her, not caring as hot tears burned their way down her powdered cheeks. It was a great temptation to simply stay here, collapsed gracelessly in the middle of the deserted street, and cry her heart out.
/Baka,/ she thought grimly, wiping at her tears and trying to catch her breath. /You can't stay here all night. People will laugh at you... and besides, you might catch cold.../
"Kaoru-dono?"
Kaoru gasped. The voice was warm, husky, and terribly, horribly familiar... Embarrassed to the core of her being, she struggled awkwardly to stand up -- curse these stupid high-heeled geta -- and found strong hands guiding her gently yet firmly to her feet.
"I-I..." What *did* one say in a situation like this?
Wavering between extreme shame and confusion, Kaoru looked up through her long bangs into Kenshin's bottomless purple eyes full of concern. Vaguely Kaoru glanced behind her, hoping somehow that Keisuke was not coming after her. A stupid hope, but... "Kenshin..."
"What's wrong? Did something happen? Niimi--" Kenshin's eyes flashed dangerously, and Kaoru thought she saw a glint of gold in the violet eyes. Perhaps it was just her tears, but... She clung to his arm, half-frantic, as he glared down the street in the direction from which she had come. "Where is he?" he demanded sharply. "Kami-sama help me, if he did something to you--"
"Iie!" Kaoru spluttered, gripping Kenshin's arm with such force that Kenshin's head whipped toward her. The eyes still glittered. "Kenshin,
Keisuke didn't do anything. Believe me! I'll explain later, but Keisuke is totally innocent!"
His eyes softened somewhat, and he raised a hand toward her face as if to wipe away her tears, then he stopped. He grasped her shoulders instead, holding her firmly, steadily. "You're sure? Kaoru-dono..."
"*Yes*, baka, I'm sure of it." Kaoru tried to smile, but found that she couldn't just yet. She settled for staring at him with what she hoped was a calm and level gaze.
It seemed to work. Kenshin's eyes lost their fearsome light, and then he was the rurouni again, impeccably polite and gentle as he ushered her through the still-open gate. Kaoru clung to him thankfully as he half-supported, half-carried her toward the dojo. Then--
"Kenshin. Is that a bag you're carrying?"
Kenshin looked at her innocently, purple eyes round and wide. "Oro?"
Kaoru, eyes narrowing, promptly forgot all about Keisuke. "Don't 'oro' me! You won't get away with this! You were leaving, weren't you?"
Kenshin rubbed his face with his hand and his voice came out as a groan. "Kaoru-dono, I was hoping we wouldn't have to go through this..."
"I can't believe you!" shrieked Kaoru. "You were going to leave again, weren't you? And you thought you'd just sneak away in the night while none of us would notice, and you'd never say goodbye to any of us and you'd never come back, and I bet you left just one little note in the house -- in my *room*, too, I'll bet -- and it wouldn't even *say* anything much, either, just enough so that your conscience would be clear and we wouldn't think you'd gotten into trouble..."
By now her voice had become so choked, her throat so painful, that she was forced to sputter to a halt and instead began to beat him forcefully about the head and shoulders with her fists, rasping "Kenshin no *baka*!" over and over again. She relished every pained "Oro!" that he gave. It might be the last time she would ever hear it...
Dimly she realized that he had wrapped his hands about his wrists and stilled them against his chest. Cursing the imperceptible strength of this man whom she loved against all better judgement -- his strength that so easily subdued her own -- she curled her hands into fists and struggled weakly against his grasp. And she realized she had begun to cry again.
He saw it too, and then he looked as if he, too, might cry with her.
"Oh, Kaoru-dono..." he whispered, and the soft remorse in his voice made Kaoru cry even harder, pressing against him ferociously, burying
her face in his chest. He held her close almost tentatively, as if afraid that she would break. "Oh, Kaoru-dono... I made you cry..."
"You made me cry so many times before, baka," she whispered fiercely against his chest. "When you left for Kyoto... I cried so hard. Days. Maybe no one ever told you, but it took Megumi-san and Yahiko and Tae-san and Tsubame-chan to make me stop. And then in your fight with Shishio -- I wanted to be strong for you so much, but after the fight against Kamatari and the others, that night..."
"Kaoru-dono..." Shocked, Kenshin started to draw back. Kaoru looked up at him, sniffling, her blue eyes glimmering with tears, and clutched at him with a strength that startled him.
"Don't go. Don't go, Kenshin. I don't care what happens to me. I don't care how much I cry for you, how often or for what reason. It doesn't matter because I love you. Against all better judgement. Don't you see?" Her eyes were so bright, so passionate, that Kenshin found himself staring into them, transfixed. "Keisuke is a good friend. A very good friend. We used to be more than that. But that was before. And I know now -- *this* is how it will always be. That's why, when he asked me to marry him... I ran away. I couldn't say what needed to be said because it would break his heart." Greatly daring, Kaoru touched his cheek with a trembling hand. "But I will never be his wife. Because there is no one on this earth whose wife I want to be, no one -- other than you, Kenshin."
She fell silent then, perhaps finally realizing the extent of what she had said. Her cheeks reddened. Bowing her head shyly, she lowered her hand and began to move away -- but Kenshin grasped her wrist.
Slowly, with closed eyes and infinite tenderness, he leaned into her touch, playing her fingers lightly across his scarred cheek. Kaoru caught her breath in wonder as his cool skin nestled in the warmth of her palm.
"Kaoru-dono," he murmured. Kaoru gasped as he suddenly embraced her. Her eyes blurred with tears. "Kaoru-dono. Arigatou de gozaru."
Silently, Kaoru hugged him back, exerting all of her slender strength in holding him close.
"Thank you... and..." Kenshin sighed again, warm breath tickling Kaoru's ear. She shivered. "I love you, too." Warm liquid dripped onto Kaoru's kimono, trickled through her hair. "I love you. I love you. I *love* you."
Kaoru's eyes were burning with exhaustion and the many tears she had shed that night. Her whole body was worn out with emotion. Still, cocooned in Kenshin's warmth, sheltered by his lean strength, she felt strong, refreshed, alive. Tears meandered down her cheeks again, and she wept soundlessly, happily into his gi.
So absorbed were the two in their own private world that neither saw Keisuke standing outside in the street, staring at them through the gateway that still gaped open.
* tsuzuku *
Ara... (wipes forehead with a handkerchief already soggy with tears, sweat, and spit due to owner's nervously gnawing on it) Well, there it is. Part 8.
about Keisuke's black box with the ring, I didn't really know what men kept engagement rings in in 1878 Japan. Since engagement rings were a Western concept, I assumed they'd be stored Western-style too. I couldn't quite imagine a diamond ring inside some
traditional Japanese purse-box like netsuke. And I suppose the little black box would be timeless, ne? ^.^x
Whaddaya think? Too soft and mushy? Too hard and awkward? Or juuust right? BTW... you may have noticed an (ahem) uncanny resemblance between this last bit and a certain Sayonara scene (my absolute favorite in the entire series). yare yare!