Author's Note: Welcome back, Angel of Death 87!! I'm glad you like this
fic! (I suffered through a horrible case of Writer's Block after the
completion of Blinded by Love... but now I'm back on track.) I'm stuck on
my FictionPress.com story, though... I blame it on Raz... he ran off with
my written work. And I'm going to Email the last few chapters to you as
soon as... well... as soon as I can, I guess. *looks around* You see... I'm
not supposed to be on right now... it's just before midnight, and I didn't
get on earlier, so I just snuck on. -____,- If my parents ever knew...
wait... they do know... they don't think their daughter is intelligent
enough to guess what the password is... *devilish laughter* Anyway, thanks
for kicking Garland... I don't think I could have done that... you know my
little... (problem)... with hating Garland. This fic is really HARD to
write! *hugs a random plushie to soothe herself* *...It looks weirdly
like a moogle*
Neko Kuroban... *hugs back* Did you call me your idol? Wow... I've gotten so many complements... Ironically, I got your review just before I had to dash off to school! So... maybe you reviewed at the same time I checked? That would be weird... and cool... at the same time. *spins around in her spinning chair while clicking her pen annoyingly* Hm... sorry, that's just what I do when I think! ^^; Anyways, I don't know what Escaflowne is. I've heard of it... but... well... The End. I've heard of it, and that's all. *stretches* It's been a looonnnng day... Gym stinks... no, seriously, it DOES. Shawn N. stinks like crazy... I wonder if he knows what deodorant is for... What does Paige see in him...? What does ANYONE see in him... ...Oops, I'm digressing...
Twilight's Star... *long pause, complete with signs of obvious restraint* ...*glomps TS* I read what you put on your website! ^_____^ I don't think I'm THAT great, but... *blushes* ...it's nice to be appreciated... *melts into a puddle of goo at TS's feet*
PsycheFox: ...Somebody get the mop...
FoxFury: Two bad things about LeFox... she's hard to get along with, and she's easily flattered.
Goo: *bubbles* Zippity-doo-dah, Zippity-ay! *bubbles*
PsycheFox: ...-_-; Dumb blonde...
Goo: *bubbles* I resent that! *bubbles*
PsycheFox: ...And what are ya gonna do about it? Bubble at me?
Goo: *...almost sarcastic bubble...*
DESERT PALACE
I woke up slowly, my thoughts still drifting through the past. What had I seen...? Was that Kuja's past? Kuja... maybe he was the dream. I felt silky hair against my arm, and I subconsciously realized that I was holding a smaller warm body against mine. I heard gentle breathing... felt it tickle my skin. A furry tail swished against my leg, brushing over it. The contact gave me warm shivers. I opened my eyes slowly, looking at the angel by my side. He was already awake... a smile teased his lips. "Good morning," he said quietly, with sleepiness still in his voice. "...Good morning, yourself." I replied, and he sat up, stretching. "I... I think we're friends now, right, Blase?" he sighed, looking sad suddenly. I was surprised-of course we were friends. What else could we possibly be...? "Why do you ask?" it seemed an adequate response. "Because... well... friends don't want to see... their friends die. And Blase... I don't really want to see you die... You're the only person who's ever listened to me. I feel comfortable talking to you... I don't have to act like I hold the world on a string..." He seemed restrained, unable to express himself. Quite unlike himself.
"Kuja... I don't know what you mean..." I said quietly, but I did know. After I was gone, who would be there for him? When he wanted to talk, who would listen? If he was crying, who was going to wipe away his tears? Who would be there to share his success, his failures, his dreams, his nightmares, his past, his present, and his future? He was lonely. I... I had become a staple for him, something he couldn't live without. He turned to me, tears sparkling in his eyes, though he was smiling. "Blase... I'll miss you... when you're gone. I have many companions in various cities, except that they... they don't really... how do I say this... know me. People see me as this refined, proper man who vanishes from time to time to do business elsewhere, business they know little or nothing about. If not, they see me as a cold-hearted villain who destroyed things they treasured... and sometimes... sometimes... I wish I could just close my eyes... close my mind... and find out what it is that I truly am." he sighed, sitting on the bed with his back turned to me. His tail was limp. He appeared almost confused about this situation, as though it were completely different from any other he had ever experienced. It probably was.
"...I think it's up to you to decide who you are, Kuja. If you decide to believe what others say... that's your choice. But if you were to ask my opinion.... I'd say... you're the most incredible person I've ever met. You are who you are... you don't try to hide it. Kuja, I was raised with the belief that everyone has a chance to reveal who they are... I think this is your chance, and you haven't passed it by. So..." I smiled mischievously, drawing him into my arms carefully. "...why don't you continue?" I earned a laugh, along with a tall silvery body cuddling closer into my arms. He was happy. The tail swished with pleasure. "Can I start after our shared dream?" he asked. I didn't question how he knew I had experienced the dream, as well. I nodded.
=As time went on, I became less and less of a living creature. I didn't eat well, I didn't sleep at all, I didn't bathe... I didn't feel like existing anymore. I had lost so much in such a short amount of time, and it hit me where it hurt the most: my heart. My very soul seemed broken. I became more of a Genome, but I lingered in the shadows of hell instead of the bright lights of Terra. My mind was never with the rest of me; it was as inexistant as I was. Garland noticed, but he let it go. He believed that I would come around eventually... what a laugh. He could have screamed in my face, or better yet, smacked me as hard as he could, but it ceased to affect me. As I said, my mind and body weren't in the same place. I don't know everything that happened during the missing year of my life... from the time I was nineteen until shortly after my twenty- first birthday. Maybe nothing at all happened. I wasn't aware of living during that time... I moved through the world as though I were a ghost from the past. And everyone let me be the unexplainable, unnoticeable one. I was an outcast.
I think my unawareness caught up with me... that's how it must have happened. I was lying awake one night, watching shadows on the walls. And as always, my mind was traveling across the world... and beyond. It was cold... that's my first memory. It was cold. A noticed that... I had never felt in a whole year... pain, emotions, temperature. But I noticed that it was cold... and I also realized that I wasn't lying comfortably... and then, I was able to tell that I was crying. In my heart, I felt empty. I was nothing... I was nothing at all. Just a useless child in the body of an adult. I remember whispering to myself that night. I remember telling myself to come back... I remember wishing I felt whole. For the first time in my entire life, I felt innocent... and robbed of my innocense. I felt as though part of me had been stolen. I got up that instant... and ran. I ran out of Bran Bal, and past Pandemonium. I went further than I had ever gone. I think... I think I was looking for myself. As I said, my mind was never wtih my body... maybe I was looking for my mind. Or maybe... maybe I was trying to escape myself. I'll never know. But I collapsed, tired and unable to continue moving even another inch, by a rock wall. The blue light hurt... but I didn't feel it. I think I might have gone blind for a while. Garland found me the next morning.
**Garland pushed his way through the Terran brush, looking for what had caused all of the ruckus the night before. He had been aroused by the sound of something tearing through this area... and now, he wanted to know what it had been. He entered a field of rocks. Something seemed to draw him toward the large rock wall in the farthest point of the field. There, he found Kuja-trembling and saying his own name over and over again. The old man sighed. He didn't have time for this! He grabbed the younger man by the arm, and lifted him to h is feet. Kuja was as good as mindless, anyway. Then, something Garland hadn't expected happened... Kuja looked into his eyes. Garland faltered severely. Kuja's eyes were anything but blank and dead, as they had been. They were full of fire, and great quantities of confusion. "What... what happened to you?" Garland asked slowly, as Kuja fell limply against the wall, still whispering his name.
"...I'm... I'm alive..." Kuja said slowly. "...I... feel... alive... again..." He tipped his head up so that the light hit his face only gently. Garland was in shock. Kuja was himself again. Like he had always been. The old man watched the Genome as the Terran light made him sparkle. He was alive. Very much so.
...Kuja was ready.**
After that, it was training, training, and more training. Garland taught me how to hone my skills in magic so that they became even more powerful. He taught me how to summon the Invincible's eye on my own. He taught me how to call Eidolons. He taught me how to do many things, and I carry the knowledge with me to this day. I became a complete egomaniac as time went by, obsessed with my success. And Garland was proud of me, too. That was the best part... Garland was impressed. He knew I was worth it. He never spoke of Zidane after he watched me cast Ultima. Never. Not until after Zidane came back into our lives. And I wasn't ready to share the glory with a shadow of my past.=
"Is that where you're stopping?" I asked incredulously, as he leaned back against me. He nodded slyly, looking up at me. "That's where I'm stopping."
Author's Note: hehehe... Cliffhanger....! *readers groan* Anyway, chapter seven is easily summed up: what happens between Kuja and Queen Brahne. I might get to Burmecia... I might not! You just hafta review!
Neko Kuroban... *hugs back* Did you call me your idol? Wow... I've gotten so many complements... Ironically, I got your review just before I had to dash off to school! So... maybe you reviewed at the same time I checked? That would be weird... and cool... at the same time. *spins around in her spinning chair while clicking her pen annoyingly* Hm... sorry, that's just what I do when I think! ^^; Anyways, I don't know what Escaflowne is. I've heard of it... but... well... The End. I've heard of it, and that's all. *stretches* It's been a looonnnng day... Gym stinks... no, seriously, it DOES. Shawn N. stinks like crazy... I wonder if he knows what deodorant is for... What does Paige see in him...? What does ANYONE see in him... ...Oops, I'm digressing...
Twilight's Star... *long pause, complete with signs of obvious restraint* ...*glomps TS* I read what you put on your website! ^_____^ I don't think I'm THAT great, but... *blushes* ...it's nice to be appreciated... *melts into a puddle of goo at TS's feet*
PsycheFox: ...Somebody get the mop...
FoxFury: Two bad things about LeFox... she's hard to get along with, and she's easily flattered.
Goo: *bubbles* Zippity-doo-dah, Zippity-ay! *bubbles*
PsycheFox: ...-_-; Dumb blonde...
Goo: *bubbles* I resent that! *bubbles*
PsycheFox: ...And what are ya gonna do about it? Bubble at me?
Goo: *...almost sarcastic bubble...*
DESERT PALACE
I woke up slowly, my thoughts still drifting through the past. What had I seen...? Was that Kuja's past? Kuja... maybe he was the dream. I felt silky hair against my arm, and I subconsciously realized that I was holding a smaller warm body against mine. I heard gentle breathing... felt it tickle my skin. A furry tail swished against my leg, brushing over it. The contact gave me warm shivers. I opened my eyes slowly, looking at the angel by my side. He was already awake... a smile teased his lips. "Good morning," he said quietly, with sleepiness still in his voice. "...Good morning, yourself." I replied, and he sat up, stretching. "I... I think we're friends now, right, Blase?" he sighed, looking sad suddenly. I was surprised-of course we were friends. What else could we possibly be...? "Why do you ask?" it seemed an adequate response. "Because... well... friends don't want to see... their friends die. And Blase... I don't really want to see you die... You're the only person who's ever listened to me. I feel comfortable talking to you... I don't have to act like I hold the world on a string..." He seemed restrained, unable to express himself. Quite unlike himself.
"Kuja... I don't know what you mean..." I said quietly, but I did know. After I was gone, who would be there for him? When he wanted to talk, who would listen? If he was crying, who was going to wipe away his tears? Who would be there to share his success, his failures, his dreams, his nightmares, his past, his present, and his future? He was lonely. I... I had become a staple for him, something he couldn't live without. He turned to me, tears sparkling in his eyes, though he was smiling. "Blase... I'll miss you... when you're gone. I have many companions in various cities, except that they... they don't really... how do I say this... know me. People see me as this refined, proper man who vanishes from time to time to do business elsewhere, business they know little or nothing about. If not, they see me as a cold-hearted villain who destroyed things they treasured... and sometimes... sometimes... I wish I could just close my eyes... close my mind... and find out what it is that I truly am." he sighed, sitting on the bed with his back turned to me. His tail was limp. He appeared almost confused about this situation, as though it were completely different from any other he had ever experienced. It probably was.
"...I think it's up to you to decide who you are, Kuja. If you decide to believe what others say... that's your choice. But if you were to ask my opinion.... I'd say... you're the most incredible person I've ever met. You are who you are... you don't try to hide it. Kuja, I was raised with the belief that everyone has a chance to reveal who they are... I think this is your chance, and you haven't passed it by. So..." I smiled mischievously, drawing him into my arms carefully. "...why don't you continue?" I earned a laugh, along with a tall silvery body cuddling closer into my arms. He was happy. The tail swished with pleasure. "Can I start after our shared dream?" he asked. I didn't question how he knew I had experienced the dream, as well. I nodded.
=As time went on, I became less and less of a living creature. I didn't eat well, I didn't sleep at all, I didn't bathe... I didn't feel like existing anymore. I had lost so much in such a short amount of time, and it hit me where it hurt the most: my heart. My very soul seemed broken. I became more of a Genome, but I lingered in the shadows of hell instead of the bright lights of Terra. My mind was never with the rest of me; it was as inexistant as I was. Garland noticed, but he let it go. He believed that I would come around eventually... what a laugh. He could have screamed in my face, or better yet, smacked me as hard as he could, but it ceased to affect me. As I said, my mind and body weren't in the same place. I don't know everything that happened during the missing year of my life... from the time I was nineteen until shortly after my twenty- first birthday. Maybe nothing at all happened. I wasn't aware of living during that time... I moved through the world as though I were a ghost from the past. And everyone let me be the unexplainable, unnoticeable one. I was an outcast.
I think my unawareness caught up with me... that's how it must have happened. I was lying awake one night, watching shadows on the walls. And as always, my mind was traveling across the world... and beyond. It was cold... that's my first memory. It was cold. A noticed that... I had never felt in a whole year... pain, emotions, temperature. But I noticed that it was cold... and I also realized that I wasn't lying comfortably... and then, I was able to tell that I was crying. In my heart, I felt empty. I was nothing... I was nothing at all. Just a useless child in the body of an adult. I remember whispering to myself that night. I remember telling myself to come back... I remember wishing I felt whole. For the first time in my entire life, I felt innocent... and robbed of my innocense. I felt as though part of me had been stolen. I got up that instant... and ran. I ran out of Bran Bal, and past Pandemonium. I went further than I had ever gone. I think... I think I was looking for myself. As I said, my mind was never wtih my body... maybe I was looking for my mind. Or maybe... maybe I was trying to escape myself. I'll never know. But I collapsed, tired and unable to continue moving even another inch, by a rock wall. The blue light hurt... but I didn't feel it. I think I might have gone blind for a while. Garland found me the next morning.
**Garland pushed his way through the Terran brush, looking for what had caused all of the ruckus the night before. He had been aroused by the sound of something tearing through this area... and now, he wanted to know what it had been. He entered a field of rocks. Something seemed to draw him toward the large rock wall in the farthest point of the field. There, he found Kuja-trembling and saying his own name over and over again. The old man sighed. He didn't have time for this! He grabbed the younger man by the arm, and lifted him to h is feet. Kuja was as good as mindless, anyway. Then, something Garland hadn't expected happened... Kuja looked into his eyes. Garland faltered severely. Kuja's eyes were anything but blank and dead, as they had been. They were full of fire, and great quantities of confusion. "What... what happened to you?" Garland asked slowly, as Kuja fell limply against the wall, still whispering his name.
"...I'm... I'm alive..." Kuja said slowly. "...I... feel... alive... again..." He tipped his head up so that the light hit his face only gently. Garland was in shock. Kuja was himself again. Like he had always been. The old man watched the Genome as the Terran light made him sparkle. He was alive. Very much so.
...Kuja was ready.**
After that, it was training, training, and more training. Garland taught me how to hone my skills in magic so that they became even more powerful. He taught me how to summon the Invincible's eye on my own. He taught me how to call Eidolons. He taught me how to do many things, and I carry the knowledge with me to this day. I became a complete egomaniac as time went by, obsessed with my success. And Garland was proud of me, too. That was the best part... Garland was impressed. He knew I was worth it. He never spoke of Zidane after he watched me cast Ultima. Never. Not until after Zidane came back into our lives. And I wasn't ready to share the glory with a shadow of my past.=
"Is that where you're stopping?" I asked incredulously, as he leaned back against me. He nodded slyly, looking up at me. "That's where I'm stopping."
Author's Note: hehehe... Cliffhanger....! *readers groan* Anyway, chapter seven is easily summed up: what happens between Kuja and Queen Brahne. I might get to Burmecia... I might not! You just hafta review!