Chapter 6: The Avalanche Begins
Sasame moped in the room he shared with Hayate. Hayate and Kei had been missing for hours. The older two knights had gone to Liefenia and Gou had to report to work or lose his job. His boss didn't want to hear the words family emergency ever again. It was hard enough to keep a job when you had to keep leaving to fight the monster worm.
He picked up a Walkman, slid in a CD, and fastened the headphones over his ears before kicking back on Hayate's neatly made bed with his boots on the comforter. He knew it'd tick off Hayate to see Sesame on his bed with his boots still on, and Sasame found an odd comfort in imagining Hayate's reaction.
He couldn't believe Kei and Hayate would exclude him from whatever they were working on. But Kei and Hayate had been inseparable lately, their heads together talking softly. Growing silent whenever he or Gou joined them, changing the subject.
Ever since the day Mannen - died. Sasame still had trouble saying that word. He tried different terms: gone to heaven, with the angels, passed on, moved on, gone to a better place, but they all meant dead- gone- left, and Sasame's eyes burned with tears at each term. It was bad enough that Mannen was - dead, Sasame fumed, but it really hurt that Hayate and Kei were cutting him out from whatever they were planning, as if he was still the baby of the clan, not mature enough to handle whatever they were plotting. It wasn't his fault that he was the last one born and it took another year and a half to replenish the leafe after Kei, Hayate, and Gou entered the world.
It was because he hadn't had his Knighting Ceremony, he was sure. He counted the months in his head. Gou had his a year ago last August, but his wasn't for another four months- December. He couldn't wait another four months, he was sure he was mature enough to handle the oath. He didn't care if he never grew older than this almost seventeen years old. He might have trouble getting a driver's license, but he'd lie about it when the time came, he thought.
Resentfully, he relived the days leading up to Mannen's - death. His mind flitted around his memories of prêt-ting with Takako. Feeling a blush on his cheeks, he chased away the thought. Takako was off-limits for any young Leife Knight right now. They'd never join together again.
It wasn't love he felt for her, he thought, trying to convince himself, it's just what happens when a knight prêts with a Pretear. It was a very intimate act and it made you think you loved the person. When in reality, you just loved the rush of joining with her. That's what Gou always said about it, when they talked about how it felt to be inside another person. And the Pretear was always warm and it felt good to be protecting her from harm. Hayate was right to reject her love. It wasn't that kind of love.
Sasame ignored the physical tug from another part of his body. A knight is in control of his emotions at all times. They learned that early in the training process from all three of the older knights. Sasame sighed and rolled over on his side, his hands behind his head. If I had my Knighting Ceremony, I'd be able to control these emotions, Sasame decided.
"Get off my bed with your dirty boots," yelled Hayate, throwing a cold blast of air at him. Sasame sat up and slid his headphones around his neck.
"I want to have my Knighting Ceremony today," he said as if Hayate had just entered their room.
Hayate sat on the edge of the desk they shared, his feet on the chair and glared at Sasame. "At least take your boots off the blanket," he complained.
Sasame slid his boots off the edge of the bed. "Did you hear me, Hayate?" Sasame asked impatiently.
Hayate nodded.
"Well?" Sasame asked.
"You're not seventeen for another -" Hayate stopped to figure it out.
"Four months, sixteen days, and who knows how many hours," replied Sasame. "What difference does it make? I mean, what difference does it really make- in the long run?"
Hayate shook his head no. "Mannen wouldn't like it," he said.
Sasame threw up a sound barrier. Hayate stood up to leave. Sasame withdrew the barrier. "Don't leave. You just make me so mad sometimes," he complained.
Hayate laughed and Sasame looked up startled. "Remember the day we found you?" Hayate asked.
Sasame was silent, his eyes wide. They never talked about the day they came home. It just wasn't done lightly. Hayate nodded and continued. "The big ones were getting really nervous because you hadn't arrived right after Gou. They talked about it constantly. It was Sasame this, Sasame that constantly."
"They prepared the room after Gou arrived, even bought the bunk beds for it, but they wouldn't move Gou into it until you got here. It didn't help that Gou talked to you all the time like you were actually already here. It kind of freaked me out a little, watching Gou talking to someone that wasn't there, but Shin said you were waiting for just the right time to come home- like you couldn't decide if you wanted to be here or not."
"It was Mannen who found you. He'd been out flying all over the city with Tipi for weeks without telling the other two guys during his spare time. He said when he found you, you were holding off a pack of wild dogs with your sound barrier. He had a hard time breaking through it, even after chasing away the dogs."
Sasame remembered the day vividly, but tried to never think about it after Mannen brought him home. His parents were fighting constantly back then, mostly about him and who his real father was. Their fighting scared him, but he held on tight to the hope they'd quit fighting and start being nice again. He would hide under his bed, covered up with a blanket, blocking out the fighting, until one of them would roughly drag him out from under the bed and slap him for hiding from them. Mannen, he'd think when the fighting got too loud to block out, Mannen, Hajime, Shin, Kei, Hayate, Gou. He repeated their names as if they were a mantra that would keep him safe. Just about the time Tipi could focus on his location, he'd be yanked out of his safe place, breaking the connection.
After a big fight late one night, his mother dragged him out from under the bed. Her eyes were swelling shut, and the corner of her lip was bleeding. She kept pressing a wet cloth to it gingerly. They waited in the cold night air for a taxi, his father raging and screaming in the background. Sasame shut him out completely until he didn't hear the curses or bangs coming from inside their home. His mother was silent in the taxicab, but shoved Sasame away from her when he curled up against her to sleep. They walked a long way after the taxi dropped them off. Sasame was so tired that he could hardly keep up with her long, angry strides. She dragged him by the arm until his arm felt like it was going to fall off.
They got into the middle of the city and dawn was peeking around the skyscrapers, its bright yellows and oranges lighting up the night sky. Sasame pulled away from her, sitting on huge marble steps, too tired to take another step, wanting to watch day arrive.
"Fine! Stay there, stupid," she said, walking away, never looking back.
He was too tired to cry when she left him. He curled up on the step and slept until the commuters stepped over him on their way into their jobs and one accidentally kicked him. Startled, he woke up and ran, crying.
When Mannen finally found him, he used up the last of his energy staving off a pack of six or seven wild dogs that decided he'd make a nice lunch for them.
"Sasame," Mannen called through the sound barrier, but Sasame couldn't hear him. He saw the tall knight's lips moving, but he kept the barrier up until he fainted from exhaustion and hunger. Mannen scooped him up, and murmured Sasame's name repeatedly until he arrived home with the child.
"Sasame," Gou shrieked spotting Mannen carrying the youngest knight into the house. He threw sparks of multi-colored fire streaks just like sparklers above Sasame's head until Hajime gripped him tightly around the neck, accusing him of trying to burn down the place.
Shin held him so tight he could hardly breath. He saw Hayate eying him suspiciously behind Kei.
"What's your point, Hayate? Besides digging up childhood memories?" Sasame asked coldly. Hayate looked hurt, but kept going.
"There was a reason why you took so long to come home, Sasame. We might tease you about being the baby, but we were all happy when you finally decided to join us again. You don't need to rush growing up. Your Knighting Ceremony will happen at the right time, trust me, Sasame." Hayate finished in a rush. The room was silent after his speech. Sasame thought carefully about Hayate's words.
"What are you and Kei doing?" he asked.
Hayate shut his mouth firmly and shook his head. Sasame stormed out of the room, searching for Shin and Hajime at Liefenia. He found them, sitting silently by the pond with a unopened bottle of Ramune between them, each holding their own bottle between their hands. He felt awkward intruding, but he barged in anyway.
"I want my Knighting Ceremony tonight," he demanded.
They looked at each other and Hajime handed Sasame Mannen's bottle. He took it ungraciously and sat down next to the older knights.
"It can't be tonight," Shin reminded Sasame gently. "You need time to prepare yourself."
Sasame opened his mouth to protest, but Hajime agreed, "If you begin tonight, we can hold it two nights. That'll give you over 48 hours of fasting and contemplation." Hajime finished off the rest of his bottle, and stood up, dusting off the back of his pants. "Shin, I'll notify the rest. You help him prepare," he said before vanishing.
"Are you sure you're doing this for the right reason?" Shin asked, rolling the bottle in his hands.
Sasame listened to the marble rolling on the glass. He thought about Hayate's words, about seeing Mannen die, about the day he finally came home. He chased any thoughts of Takako away from the edges of his mind. "Yes," he replied solemnly.
Sasame moped in the room he shared with Hayate. Hayate and Kei had been missing for hours. The older two knights had gone to Liefenia and Gou had to report to work or lose his job. His boss didn't want to hear the words family emergency ever again. It was hard enough to keep a job when you had to keep leaving to fight the monster worm.
He picked up a Walkman, slid in a CD, and fastened the headphones over his ears before kicking back on Hayate's neatly made bed with his boots on the comforter. He knew it'd tick off Hayate to see Sesame on his bed with his boots still on, and Sasame found an odd comfort in imagining Hayate's reaction.
He couldn't believe Kei and Hayate would exclude him from whatever they were working on. But Kei and Hayate had been inseparable lately, their heads together talking softly. Growing silent whenever he or Gou joined them, changing the subject.
Ever since the day Mannen - died. Sasame still had trouble saying that word. He tried different terms: gone to heaven, with the angels, passed on, moved on, gone to a better place, but they all meant dead- gone- left, and Sasame's eyes burned with tears at each term. It was bad enough that Mannen was - dead, Sasame fumed, but it really hurt that Hayate and Kei were cutting him out from whatever they were planning, as if he was still the baby of the clan, not mature enough to handle whatever they were plotting. It wasn't his fault that he was the last one born and it took another year and a half to replenish the leafe after Kei, Hayate, and Gou entered the world.
It was because he hadn't had his Knighting Ceremony, he was sure. He counted the months in his head. Gou had his a year ago last August, but his wasn't for another four months- December. He couldn't wait another four months, he was sure he was mature enough to handle the oath. He didn't care if he never grew older than this almost seventeen years old. He might have trouble getting a driver's license, but he'd lie about it when the time came, he thought.
Resentfully, he relived the days leading up to Mannen's - death. His mind flitted around his memories of prêt-ting with Takako. Feeling a blush on his cheeks, he chased away the thought. Takako was off-limits for any young Leife Knight right now. They'd never join together again.
It wasn't love he felt for her, he thought, trying to convince himself, it's just what happens when a knight prêts with a Pretear. It was a very intimate act and it made you think you loved the person. When in reality, you just loved the rush of joining with her. That's what Gou always said about it, when they talked about how it felt to be inside another person. And the Pretear was always warm and it felt good to be protecting her from harm. Hayate was right to reject her love. It wasn't that kind of love.
Sasame ignored the physical tug from another part of his body. A knight is in control of his emotions at all times. They learned that early in the training process from all three of the older knights. Sasame sighed and rolled over on his side, his hands behind his head. If I had my Knighting Ceremony, I'd be able to control these emotions, Sasame decided.
"Get off my bed with your dirty boots," yelled Hayate, throwing a cold blast of air at him. Sasame sat up and slid his headphones around his neck.
"I want to have my Knighting Ceremony today," he said as if Hayate had just entered their room.
Hayate sat on the edge of the desk they shared, his feet on the chair and glared at Sasame. "At least take your boots off the blanket," he complained.
Sasame slid his boots off the edge of the bed. "Did you hear me, Hayate?" Sasame asked impatiently.
Hayate nodded.
"Well?" Sasame asked.
"You're not seventeen for another -" Hayate stopped to figure it out.
"Four months, sixteen days, and who knows how many hours," replied Sasame. "What difference does it make? I mean, what difference does it really make- in the long run?"
Hayate shook his head no. "Mannen wouldn't like it," he said.
Sasame threw up a sound barrier. Hayate stood up to leave. Sasame withdrew the barrier. "Don't leave. You just make me so mad sometimes," he complained.
Hayate laughed and Sasame looked up startled. "Remember the day we found you?" Hayate asked.
Sasame was silent, his eyes wide. They never talked about the day they came home. It just wasn't done lightly. Hayate nodded and continued. "The big ones were getting really nervous because you hadn't arrived right after Gou. They talked about it constantly. It was Sasame this, Sasame that constantly."
"They prepared the room after Gou arrived, even bought the bunk beds for it, but they wouldn't move Gou into it until you got here. It didn't help that Gou talked to you all the time like you were actually already here. It kind of freaked me out a little, watching Gou talking to someone that wasn't there, but Shin said you were waiting for just the right time to come home- like you couldn't decide if you wanted to be here or not."
"It was Mannen who found you. He'd been out flying all over the city with Tipi for weeks without telling the other two guys during his spare time. He said when he found you, you were holding off a pack of wild dogs with your sound barrier. He had a hard time breaking through it, even after chasing away the dogs."
Sasame remembered the day vividly, but tried to never think about it after Mannen brought him home. His parents were fighting constantly back then, mostly about him and who his real father was. Their fighting scared him, but he held on tight to the hope they'd quit fighting and start being nice again. He would hide under his bed, covered up with a blanket, blocking out the fighting, until one of them would roughly drag him out from under the bed and slap him for hiding from them. Mannen, he'd think when the fighting got too loud to block out, Mannen, Hajime, Shin, Kei, Hayate, Gou. He repeated their names as if they were a mantra that would keep him safe. Just about the time Tipi could focus on his location, he'd be yanked out of his safe place, breaking the connection.
After a big fight late one night, his mother dragged him out from under the bed. Her eyes were swelling shut, and the corner of her lip was bleeding. She kept pressing a wet cloth to it gingerly. They waited in the cold night air for a taxi, his father raging and screaming in the background. Sasame shut him out completely until he didn't hear the curses or bangs coming from inside their home. His mother was silent in the taxicab, but shoved Sasame away from her when he curled up against her to sleep. They walked a long way after the taxi dropped them off. Sasame was so tired that he could hardly keep up with her long, angry strides. She dragged him by the arm until his arm felt like it was going to fall off.
They got into the middle of the city and dawn was peeking around the skyscrapers, its bright yellows and oranges lighting up the night sky. Sasame pulled away from her, sitting on huge marble steps, too tired to take another step, wanting to watch day arrive.
"Fine! Stay there, stupid," she said, walking away, never looking back.
He was too tired to cry when she left him. He curled up on the step and slept until the commuters stepped over him on their way into their jobs and one accidentally kicked him. Startled, he woke up and ran, crying.
When Mannen finally found him, he used up the last of his energy staving off a pack of six or seven wild dogs that decided he'd make a nice lunch for them.
"Sasame," Mannen called through the sound barrier, but Sasame couldn't hear him. He saw the tall knight's lips moving, but he kept the barrier up until he fainted from exhaustion and hunger. Mannen scooped him up, and murmured Sasame's name repeatedly until he arrived home with the child.
"Sasame," Gou shrieked spotting Mannen carrying the youngest knight into the house. He threw sparks of multi-colored fire streaks just like sparklers above Sasame's head until Hajime gripped him tightly around the neck, accusing him of trying to burn down the place.
Shin held him so tight he could hardly breath. He saw Hayate eying him suspiciously behind Kei.
"What's your point, Hayate? Besides digging up childhood memories?" Sasame asked coldly. Hayate looked hurt, but kept going.
"There was a reason why you took so long to come home, Sasame. We might tease you about being the baby, but we were all happy when you finally decided to join us again. You don't need to rush growing up. Your Knighting Ceremony will happen at the right time, trust me, Sasame." Hayate finished in a rush. The room was silent after his speech. Sasame thought carefully about Hayate's words.
"What are you and Kei doing?" he asked.
Hayate shut his mouth firmly and shook his head. Sasame stormed out of the room, searching for Shin and Hajime at Liefenia. He found them, sitting silently by the pond with a unopened bottle of Ramune between them, each holding their own bottle between their hands. He felt awkward intruding, but he barged in anyway.
"I want my Knighting Ceremony tonight," he demanded.
They looked at each other and Hajime handed Sasame Mannen's bottle. He took it ungraciously and sat down next to the older knights.
"It can't be tonight," Shin reminded Sasame gently. "You need time to prepare yourself."
Sasame opened his mouth to protest, but Hajime agreed, "If you begin tonight, we can hold it two nights. That'll give you over 48 hours of fasting and contemplation." Hajime finished off the rest of his bottle, and stood up, dusting off the back of his pants. "Shin, I'll notify the rest. You help him prepare," he said before vanishing.
"Are you sure you're doing this for the right reason?" Shin asked, rolling the bottle in his hands.
Sasame listened to the marble rolling on the glass. He thought about Hayate's words, about seeing Mannen die, about the day he finally came home. He chased any thoughts of Takako away from the edges of his mind. "Yes," he replied solemnly.