Mood Ring Sez: DARK GREEN-Romantic
O.o?
Author's Note: Last chapter. Omigod. I'm already this far? I thought I only typed chapter nine a few days ago... oh, well. Thank you time. For the last time! -_-;
Angel of Death 87: I guess I should have explained that little fact earlier... *sweatdrop* This is another chapter with Jani in it. *soft, un- LeFox-ish sigh* And Kuja never returned... oh, the bittersweet endings I can dream up are endless... I wish I could just write a happy ending... oh, well. As for your patience, I'm the same way... except, I don't have much patience at all... Oh, your site's back up! *runs off to visit it* Now if I could just remember my password, I could link to you!
Twilight's Star: Every time you review the last chapter (or review for the last time) you have an uplifting little saying in there that makes me feel happy. And that's really rare. "Keep your dream, and keep it alive." I'm gonna remember that one... And I expect you to review this, even if it takes a long time! It did sound like you were reviewing for the last time... I almost cried... I hate it when I get sentimental... that's really rare, too... *drinks Mint Hot Cocoa* ...THAT, however, is only when I'm nervous or stressed.
Misunderstood: I know Blase and Kuja make a great couple! -^______^- They're so cute! So sad that they can't live together forever, eh? I haven't gotten to read your latest chapters, but I WILL!! Zoe and Kuja are the perfect couple (with some difficulties, of course). This fic is oh-so- close to being over... but I've got another fic in the process. *smiles wickedly* Actually, several... three, to be exact, and another one on FictionPress.com...
ShiAne: Alternately warm and cold? That's good, isn't it? I'm not sure. You're enigmatic, you know that? ...That's a good thing, by the way.
(So, where the heck is Neko??)
(And where's Shadow66...?)
(A note to TS: I hope this was early enough for you!! It was at least 56 WPM, and my fingers are really aching. And it's about two and a half pages long. That is my longest record yet.)
ESTO GAZA
I didn't hear about Kuja's death until Zidane came back to Alexandria. Actually, I overheard it when Zidane was talking to Queen Garnet on the stage... yes, I was at the play. Front row. It was where I re-proposed to Janira Razhal. She said yes... and even through my tears of loss, I was able to feel happy. I later sought out Zidane, and asked him what had happened. He didn't ask how I knew Kuja. He didn't ask why I wanted to know. He told me what had happened... how Garland had revealed that Kuja would only live a short while longer. Kuja had gone insane, and had decided to destroy the Crystal, source of all life. "...After that, it's personal." Zidane said softly, looking away.
"Exactly why I need to know." I replied, wiping away one last tear. He looked at me strangely. "I made a point of not asking, but how exactly did you know Kuja?" he asked. I met his eyes evenly. "I knew Kuja as a friend. He told me everything about himself, Zidane... including how he felt about you. He told me about Madain Sari. He told me about Garland and Terra. Zidane, he told me everything... and I need to know the last parts of his story. He said... he said he'd tell me about it... when he came home." I choked on some of the words, and my throat was becoming very tight. Zidane hesitated. "He came to terms with himself. He didn't suffer when he died." he closed his eyes. When he finally told me the last bits and pieces of Kuja's story, I left him, feeling like I was walking through a fog.
Jani met me with a concerned smile on her face. She didn't know what had happened to me over the past few months. She didn't ask. She didn't act like she cared... after all, she was only happy to have me back. But I felt it was time to tell her... about the man who had changed my life. About everything. I took her hand slowly, letting her react to the look on my face at her own pace. "Blase... what's wrong?" she asked carefully, looking worried. I smiled gently. "It's almost time for us to begin forever, Jani... but I want to share the past with you." I told her, leading her to the small airship she and I had ridden over to Alexandria.
I started at the beginning. I carefully described my thoughts of suicide that day, and my first thoughts of Kuja. The sadness he seemed to be carrying, and his deep, sorrowful voice, the self-hatred covered with narcissism... his beauty, his weak strength, his wisdom and power, his pain and laughter. I depicted the room where we had spent so much time together. I told her about his offer-one more night of rest while he told me his story. I told her about Kuja revealing his tail, and revealing his origin. How he had told me about his birth as a Genome on Terra, how Garland had treated him. Her eyes reflected her pity for Kuja. He would have hated that. Kuja didn't want pity.
Retelling Kuja's story made me realize just how well I had listened to him... just how much I had stood firm with my promise: to listen. I had judged along the way, but always in Kuja's favor. Hearing it from his point of view showed me the unusual but inescapable beauty of his life. In the back of my mind, I could feel Kuja standing there, making sure I told her exactly what he had said to me.
"He told me so much, Jani. But most of all, what I remember is Madain Sari. It was an experience he wanted to forget, and yet... he wanted to remember it enough to never make the same mistake. And you know what? He never did... he never controlled one of his own creations by means of torture. In that way... he was better than Garland." I continued the story long into the night. When we finally slept... Kuja finished his own story. Finished it for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
=The arrival on Terra was slightly rougher than I would have hoped, the Path of Souls didn't take to carrying one more passenger as well as a dragon. The blue world unfolded around me, fading from bright white to the tints and shades of blue... they appeared almost as in a watercolor painting. I remember feeling my breath pass into my lungs and out again. That's how still the air on Terra was... stifling. The blank blue sky spread out above me, scattered with the strange formations Terra seemed to be made of. I believe they were either rocks or trees at one point. Silver flew off, presumably to find and kill Garland for me... save me the trouble. That was her mistake.
Garland found her first, and viciously controlled her. In that way, I lost the only friend I had on Terra. I didn't even know until it was too late. I was too busy summoning the power of the Invincible. Garland wasn't in control of it, so it yielded to my wishes. The souls the Invincible held captive cried out for a new master. They were waiting for me. They had hungered far too long for freedom, for new bodies, or at least for an end to their long and slow torment. They embraced my entrance and domination with pleasure. I was ready for them as they were ready for me... but I was seeking only one soul in particular... the soul of Queen Brahne. The only soul with enough greed, enough hunger for power... enough to force me into Trance.
That was it, Blase. The "way to beat them" that I spoke of. I really screwed myself there.
I watched from above as Garland forced Silver, my gentle dragon, to fight Zidane. I watched as Zidane and his friends killed her, not knowing what she really was... who she really was. Then, I was a witness to Garland's defeat at the hands of his own creation. His own perfect little creation defeated him. And then... then, it was my turn to act. A showdown with my own brother, along with my own little Black Mage, the Summoner whose mother's vicious soul would bring her to her knees, and a Knight who sought to eliminate me. I allowed myself to be defeated... or so they thought... I went into Trance, and my own soul fled to the back of my mind with fear as Brahne's ugliest side surged forth.
I was able to defeat them with ease, but the worst was yet to come. Garland spoke to me from beyond the Void, taking away my pride and confidence with every word he said. I was mortal. Even someone as vain as I could tell that it had always been the case... but the worst part of all was when he revealed that I wouldn't live long. 'You'll be dead soon.' I was truly devastated. What had been simple overconfidence became fear. What had been an urge became a need. What had been my inner core was shattered... I no longer knew who I was. I didn't recognize "Kuja." That part of me had vanished again, running away. I wanted to follow it, to keep my self with me. But I couldn't even feel my legs.
I did what felt natural... I destroyed. I destroyed Terra. I wanted to kill all of the Genomes, Zidane, and Garland... but of course, Zidane and Terra marred my plans. Terra, in her last breath, took Garland herself, letting his soul live on. Zidane took the Genomes on the Invincible. He took them to Gaia. I was knocked unconscious from my own blast... Blase... if only I could have stayed that way... I felt peaceful then, as though you were still with me. But I woke up in the Crystal world, facing my final judgement. With its power, I created four Chaos guardians, and blanketed the world with Mist. I made the Iifa Tree work harder, harder, and harder... until finally, it was creating as much Mist as possible. And then, I waited for Zidane.
He didn't disappoint me.
(Blase, I don't have much time left... I can't delay with the details of the fight. I have to leave in the morning... this time for good.)
When the battle was over, I fell. I fell into the very heart of the Iifa Tree, and heard the Tree raging around me. But at its heart, it was much like myself. In fact... that's where I found my own soul... Kuja. I found myself, I found out what life really meant... it meant being who you were and not lingering on what you can't change...
In my heart, I heard Zidane cry out with pain. He was weak. So were his friends... but only Zidane was thinking of me. Me. Kuja, the one who had put him through so much pain... he was feeling sorry for me. I used all of the magic I could manage without killing myself to summon them to the outside of the Iifa Tree, where they would be in plain sight of the Hilda Garde 3, where Regent Cid watched the battle from above. I didn't plan on Zidane's reaction to my farewell.
He actually wanted to save me! He sent his friends away with an impressive and moving speech, then shouted to me... "Kuja, I'm coming to get you!" ...It brought tears to my eyes. He could still care about me. I returned some remark about how he could still escape. Why did he have to risk his life for me? Why should he? "Just shut up and stay where you are!" And then, he plunged to save me... I don't know what happened to him on the way, but soon... he was by my side, telling me that my life had meaning. Telling me that I shouldn't give up.
I remember blacking out just before the vines surged toward us. I dimly remember Zidane throwing his body over mine, telling me to hold on, just hold on, it'll be okay... and then... it was over. It really was okay. I was gone. I was dead, but only on the outside. My soul rejoiced, finally set free... Blase...
I'm finally free...=
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
I woke up the next morning with tears shining in my eyes. Kuja stood before me, then faded slowly away as Jani woke up beside me. In the long run, I had learned Kuja's story. But underneath his story, there was someone else's.
...Mine.
THE END
Author's Note: Oh, I love this fic, and anyone who DARES to tell me otherwise will die and burn in hell eternally!! I have another fic or two in the works, and one already up, so review, and run along and read the other one! Cya there!
~LeFox, December 12, 2003
O.o?
Author's Note: Last chapter. Omigod. I'm already this far? I thought I only typed chapter nine a few days ago... oh, well. Thank you time. For the last time! -_-;
Angel of Death 87: I guess I should have explained that little fact earlier... *sweatdrop* This is another chapter with Jani in it. *soft, un- LeFox-ish sigh* And Kuja never returned... oh, the bittersweet endings I can dream up are endless... I wish I could just write a happy ending... oh, well. As for your patience, I'm the same way... except, I don't have much patience at all... Oh, your site's back up! *runs off to visit it* Now if I could just remember my password, I could link to you!
Twilight's Star: Every time you review the last chapter (or review for the last time) you have an uplifting little saying in there that makes me feel happy. And that's really rare. "Keep your dream, and keep it alive." I'm gonna remember that one... And I expect you to review this, even if it takes a long time! It did sound like you were reviewing for the last time... I almost cried... I hate it when I get sentimental... that's really rare, too... *drinks Mint Hot Cocoa* ...THAT, however, is only when I'm nervous or stressed.
Misunderstood: I know Blase and Kuja make a great couple! -^______^- They're so cute! So sad that they can't live together forever, eh? I haven't gotten to read your latest chapters, but I WILL!! Zoe and Kuja are the perfect couple (with some difficulties, of course). This fic is oh-so- close to being over... but I've got another fic in the process. *smiles wickedly* Actually, several... three, to be exact, and another one on FictionPress.com...
ShiAne: Alternately warm and cold? That's good, isn't it? I'm not sure. You're enigmatic, you know that? ...That's a good thing, by the way.
(So, where the heck is Neko??)
(And where's Shadow66...?)
(A note to TS: I hope this was early enough for you!! It was at least 56 WPM, and my fingers are really aching. And it's about two and a half pages long. That is my longest record yet.)
ESTO GAZA
I didn't hear about Kuja's death until Zidane came back to Alexandria. Actually, I overheard it when Zidane was talking to Queen Garnet on the stage... yes, I was at the play. Front row. It was where I re-proposed to Janira Razhal. She said yes... and even through my tears of loss, I was able to feel happy. I later sought out Zidane, and asked him what had happened. He didn't ask how I knew Kuja. He didn't ask why I wanted to know. He told me what had happened... how Garland had revealed that Kuja would only live a short while longer. Kuja had gone insane, and had decided to destroy the Crystal, source of all life. "...After that, it's personal." Zidane said softly, looking away.
"Exactly why I need to know." I replied, wiping away one last tear. He looked at me strangely. "I made a point of not asking, but how exactly did you know Kuja?" he asked. I met his eyes evenly. "I knew Kuja as a friend. He told me everything about himself, Zidane... including how he felt about you. He told me about Madain Sari. He told me about Garland and Terra. Zidane, he told me everything... and I need to know the last parts of his story. He said... he said he'd tell me about it... when he came home." I choked on some of the words, and my throat was becoming very tight. Zidane hesitated. "He came to terms with himself. He didn't suffer when he died." he closed his eyes. When he finally told me the last bits and pieces of Kuja's story, I left him, feeling like I was walking through a fog.
Jani met me with a concerned smile on her face. She didn't know what had happened to me over the past few months. She didn't ask. She didn't act like she cared... after all, she was only happy to have me back. But I felt it was time to tell her... about the man who had changed my life. About everything. I took her hand slowly, letting her react to the look on my face at her own pace. "Blase... what's wrong?" she asked carefully, looking worried. I smiled gently. "It's almost time for us to begin forever, Jani... but I want to share the past with you." I told her, leading her to the small airship she and I had ridden over to Alexandria.
I started at the beginning. I carefully described my thoughts of suicide that day, and my first thoughts of Kuja. The sadness he seemed to be carrying, and his deep, sorrowful voice, the self-hatred covered with narcissism... his beauty, his weak strength, his wisdom and power, his pain and laughter. I depicted the room where we had spent so much time together. I told her about his offer-one more night of rest while he told me his story. I told her about Kuja revealing his tail, and revealing his origin. How he had told me about his birth as a Genome on Terra, how Garland had treated him. Her eyes reflected her pity for Kuja. He would have hated that. Kuja didn't want pity.
Retelling Kuja's story made me realize just how well I had listened to him... just how much I had stood firm with my promise: to listen. I had judged along the way, but always in Kuja's favor. Hearing it from his point of view showed me the unusual but inescapable beauty of his life. In the back of my mind, I could feel Kuja standing there, making sure I told her exactly what he had said to me.
"He told me so much, Jani. But most of all, what I remember is Madain Sari. It was an experience he wanted to forget, and yet... he wanted to remember it enough to never make the same mistake. And you know what? He never did... he never controlled one of his own creations by means of torture. In that way... he was better than Garland." I continued the story long into the night. When we finally slept... Kuja finished his own story. Finished it for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
=The arrival on Terra was slightly rougher than I would have hoped, the Path of Souls didn't take to carrying one more passenger as well as a dragon. The blue world unfolded around me, fading from bright white to the tints and shades of blue... they appeared almost as in a watercolor painting. I remember feeling my breath pass into my lungs and out again. That's how still the air on Terra was... stifling. The blank blue sky spread out above me, scattered with the strange formations Terra seemed to be made of. I believe they were either rocks or trees at one point. Silver flew off, presumably to find and kill Garland for me... save me the trouble. That was her mistake.
Garland found her first, and viciously controlled her. In that way, I lost the only friend I had on Terra. I didn't even know until it was too late. I was too busy summoning the power of the Invincible. Garland wasn't in control of it, so it yielded to my wishes. The souls the Invincible held captive cried out for a new master. They were waiting for me. They had hungered far too long for freedom, for new bodies, or at least for an end to their long and slow torment. They embraced my entrance and domination with pleasure. I was ready for them as they were ready for me... but I was seeking only one soul in particular... the soul of Queen Brahne. The only soul with enough greed, enough hunger for power... enough to force me into Trance.
That was it, Blase. The "way to beat them" that I spoke of. I really screwed myself there.
I watched from above as Garland forced Silver, my gentle dragon, to fight Zidane. I watched as Zidane and his friends killed her, not knowing what she really was... who she really was. Then, I was a witness to Garland's defeat at the hands of his own creation. His own perfect little creation defeated him. And then... then, it was my turn to act. A showdown with my own brother, along with my own little Black Mage, the Summoner whose mother's vicious soul would bring her to her knees, and a Knight who sought to eliminate me. I allowed myself to be defeated... or so they thought... I went into Trance, and my own soul fled to the back of my mind with fear as Brahne's ugliest side surged forth.
I was able to defeat them with ease, but the worst was yet to come. Garland spoke to me from beyond the Void, taking away my pride and confidence with every word he said. I was mortal. Even someone as vain as I could tell that it had always been the case... but the worst part of all was when he revealed that I wouldn't live long. 'You'll be dead soon.' I was truly devastated. What had been simple overconfidence became fear. What had been an urge became a need. What had been my inner core was shattered... I no longer knew who I was. I didn't recognize "Kuja." That part of me had vanished again, running away. I wanted to follow it, to keep my self with me. But I couldn't even feel my legs.
I did what felt natural... I destroyed. I destroyed Terra. I wanted to kill all of the Genomes, Zidane, and Garland... but of course, Zidane and Terra marred my plans. Terra, in her last breath, took Garland herself, letting his soul live on. Zidane took the Genomes on the Invincible. He took them to Gaia. I was knocked unconscious from my own blast... Blase... if only I could have stayed that way... I felt peaceful then, as though you were still with me. But I woke up in the Crystal world, facing my final judgement. With its power, I created four Chaos guardians, and blanketed the world with Mist. I made the Iifa Tree work harder, harder, and harder... until finally, it was creating as much Mist as possible. And then, I waited for Zidane.
He didn't disappoint me.
(Blase, I don't have much time left... I can't delay with the details of the fight. I have to leave in the morning... this time for good.)
When the battle was over, I fell. I fell into the very heart of the Iifa Tree, and heard the Tree raging around me. But at its heart, it was much like myself. In fact... that's where I found my own soul... Kuja. I found myself, I found out what life really meant... it meant being who you were and not lingering on what you can't change...
In my heart, I heard Zidane cry out with pain. He was weak. So were his friends... but only Zidane was thinking of me. Me. Kuja, the one who had put him through so much pain... he was feeling sorry for me. I used all of the magic I could manage without killing myself to summon them to the outside of the Iifa Tree, where they would be in plain sight of the Hilda Garde 3, where Regent Cid watched the battle from above. I didn't plan on Zidane's reaction to my farewell.
He actually wanted to save me! He sent his friends away with an impressive and moving speech, then shouted to me... "Kuja, I'm coming to get you!" ...It brought tears to my eyes. He could still care about me. I returned some remark about how he could still escape. Why did he have to risk his life for me? Why should he? "Just shut up and stay where you are!" And then, he plunged to save me... I don't know what happened to him on the way, but soon... he was by my side, telling me that my life had meaning. Telling me that I shouldn't give up.
I remember blacking out just before the vines surged toward us. I dimly remember Zidane throwing his body over mine, telling me to hold on, just hold on, it'll be okay... and then... it was over. It really was okay. I was gone. I was dead, but only on the outside. My soul rejoiced, finally set free... Blase...
I'm finally free...=
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
I woke up the next morning with tears shining in my eyes. Kuja stood before me, then faded slowly away as Jani woke up beside me. In the long run, I had learned Kuja's story. But underneath his story, there was someone else's.
...Mine.
THE END
Author's Note: Oh, I love this fic, and anyone who DARES to tell me otherwise will die and burn in hell eternally!! I have another fic or two in the works, and one already up, so review, and run along and read the other one! Cya there!
~LeFox, December 12, 2003